My Son

A/N-Um ok. First Fan-fiction. EVER(so not counting that one horrible Sailor Moon one when I was 12). I have NO idea how to put this story up here with italics and all(SO CONFUSING) so bear with me. This story popped into my head AND WOULD NOT SHUT UP. At first, I wanted to give it up for adoption…but then I figure it could help me get over some writers block. So sure, why not. So…um…Here you go I guess.

Didn't his mother warn him about this? "Too much chocolate in your tummy makes your dreams all funny?"

"JD…"

They were going to finish the nursery. She'd bought stencils of cars, spaceships and airplanes.

"We have to hurry. He's getting antsy."

One week. In just one week his son was due and he would be a father. He'd be a daddy.

"JD?"

His ears feel weird. Did Dan pack his ears with cotton balls again?

"Bambi?"

The alarm was bound to ring soon. He'd wake up and Kim be there, smiling rubbing her stomach. He'd smile back and kiss her cheek(and wish that he could love her, could truly forgive her)and talk to his son or maybe sing to him.

"JD? Come on, Bambi."

He should have gotten those pickles yesterday but he was so tired. He'd promised to get them tomorrow-today and he will, because he'll be awake soon. Kim will smile, say she's hungry, and could you please go pick up some pickles? He'll say sure, kiss her(still wish she hadn't lied, that he didn't have to find out at some convention)and be on his way.

"Oh JD…I'm sorry. I wish…I…really."

Yes. Wish. Wishes were good. His mother taught him that if he wished upon a star, it comes true. Its worked before. The sun still counts as a star right?

"Her spleen ruptured. The ambulance…the road was blocked quite a bit. They tried…"

He really wants to paint the cars, airplanes and spaceships Navy blue. Kim wants baby blue.

"The baby-"

Yep, the baby. Sammy would be here soon. Seven more days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds. In a blink of an eye, really.

"The doctors don't know…he shouldn't, but he is. Do you understand? He's alive, JD. He'll have to be in the NICU, to make sure he's ok but JD he's Alive."

There's someone wailing nearby. Actually, it might be a dog or some other animal, cause it doesn't sound human.

"Someone should take it to the vet. Sounds like its dying."

It takes Carla's arms tight around his neck, her tears sliding down his skin that JD realizes he's the one crying out.

"Kim…oh….oh God KIM."

He can't do this, he can't. They were gonna make it work. He was going to try, try REALLY hard to get past her betrayal cause he loved her once, truly he did and he could love her again. Sammy would live with BOTH of them, his mommy and daddy and he would NEVER leave him. He'd always be there, to play catch, watch movies, talk about girls. Anything and everything.

"Oh God."

Its hot, really hot. His throat is jumping up and down, he can't see, he can't breathe and why isn't he waking up yet?

"I…the pickles."

JD once ate a whole jar of pickles, when he was five. He remembers crying into the toilet bowl as his mother patted his back. Remembers the acid burning his throat, tongue and nose. He's never so much as touched one since then.

He doesn't know how long they stay there. Eventually his eyes dry out, and he feels like Rowdy must feel everyday.

"Do you want to see him? Do you want to see Sammy?"

JD nods. He doesn't want to talk. Doesn't want to open his mouth because he's not entirely sure what'll come pouring out. He pulls himself up but keeps his gaze down. Carla holds his hand and leads him towards the NICU. Countless pairs of shoes pass by. Some slow down, others stop. He vaguely hears their questions and Carla's answers. Outside the NICU, he spots a pair of sneakers attached to green scrubs.

"JD…Vanilla Bear."

"I want to see Sammy."

He hopes Turk understands. He refuses to look up, because if he does he'll loose his nerve and cling to his chocolate bear, and dear god he so badly wants to but Sammy needs him.

Turk moves aside, and lets him through without so much of a shoulder pat. Carla slowly leads him to the incubator. She's talking, saying something but he's not sure what. It sounds like the coo of a dove.

"He's doing fine. Breathing on his own and everything. He's healthy considering-he might not even stay here long."

I can't, I can't, there's no way I can do this, Oh God what am I gonna do, what's gonna happen, not Kim, not Kim, why Kim-

JD forces himself to look into the incubator. A chocked hiccup escapes but he reels the sob in. Sammy's asleep, and while there are some wires attached to him here and there he's perfect. Small, peach-red and with a touch of brown hair on his tiny head.

His lips quiver as he carefully slides a hand inside. Gently, he places it on top of his sons chest. Up, down. Up down. Ta-tum, Ta-tum, Ta-tum, Ta-tum.

Alive. His son was alive.

Out of the blue his brain is overwhelmed by noise. Footsteps, beeping, hisses, whispers, and shaky sighs. Someone must have turned on the AC cause he's cold, real cold, and oh God Kim's dead but Sammy's alive and this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"JD!"

He thinks its Turk who screamed his name but it could have been Carla. For a second he's flying, where he doesn't know. A second later he crashes. His arm hurts. His head hurts. His chest burns.

"I should have gotten those pickles yesterday."

A/N-So there you have it. Yes, I've seen/read some "Kim dies, OMG what is JD gonna do now" stories. This story is not headed were you think its headed. I'll leave it at that. Hopefully this chapter, is not too horrible. As to when I'll update next, 1 week, two weeks top. I'll try not to leave it unattended for more then 3 weeks. Some chapters might be longer, some shorter, some a little more then a drabble but it'll be updated. Hope some of you enjoyed it.