Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (as much as I wish I did).
It wasn't meant to be like this. He wasn't supposed to be backing away, or jetting off for spontaneous weekends in Las Vegas, or having lunch dates with blonde stewardesses (oh sorry, flight attendants). Not now. Not after everything they've been through together. Not after she's spent so much time making progress with Dr Burke. Not when she's so close to being better and being who she wants to be; who she wants to be for him.
Kate has no idea what happened to their relationship, but ever since the bombing case a few weeks ago, Castle has changed into a completely different person. It's almost as if the past four years of their friendship and whatever else has progressed between them now means nothing to him. Those years of built up trust and puppy-like loyalty seem to have disappeared in the blink of an eye. In place of the Richard Castle that Kate Beckett has come to grow so fondly of and yes, let's admit it, the Richard Castle she loves, now sits a Richard Castle similar to the one she met four years ago during their first case together; the playboy one. It physically aches Kate to see him this way again. Oh well, old habits die hard I guess.
No.
No. She refuses to believe that. Kate was so convinced they were finally getting somewhere with their relationship and hell, Castle told her that he loved her that day in the cemetery. Regardless of the fact that she denied remembering the shooting, how can he move on so quickly, so easily, without a glance back to even give her the time of day to tell him what she so desperately wants to. That she's finally ready. She didn't realise how ready she was until now. Could it be too late? Surely it can't be. Despite how Castle's been acting, she's not ready to give up on them. It's as though he's punishing her, but Kate has no idea what she is being punished for.
Lanie thinks Kate waited too long. But why now? What the hell happened between them that made him suddenly detach and revert back to his old ways?
It's a slow evening at the precinct, with stacks of paperwork and empty cups of coffee, and suddenly Kate cannot take any more of it. Without a second thought, she jumps up from her desk, grabs her coat and makes her way towards the elevator. She's doing this. She needs to salvage what she can of this relationship. She just hopes she's not too late. Surely he can't be serious about this Jacinda. Ugh. Jacinda. She cringes inwardly at the name as she walks out of the 12th and makes her way to the Crown Vic.
The drive to Castle's loft feels like an eternity. The evening flow of traffic in the already bustling New York City streets leaves Kate feeling anxious and yes, scared. Terrified.
She finds a parking spot outside the loft and takes a minute to compose herself before stepping out of her car and into the lobby. With a look of determination on her face, she greets the doorman on her way in, an older man who gives her a friendly smile and a "good evening, Detective".
The ping of the elevator signalling its arrival at Castle's floor startles Kate out of her reverie and rings in her ears, sending a mad flutter of butterflies to her stomach.
She can do this. She can.
Kate takes a step out of the elevator and looks down the empty hallway to his front door, which has never seemed as far away as it does at this very moment. Taking a deep breath, she begins the walk to his door. Her mind is buzzing at a million miles an hour, hundreds of possible scenarios running through her mind, mostly bad, and making her woozy already. Will he slam the door in her face? What if he's in the middle of a family dinner? What if he's with her? Shit. Kate shudders. No. She has to do this. If she doesn't take this chance then with the way he's been acting, it's safe to say their relationship has no chance of bouncing back. The possibility of this sends Kate's mind into a frenzy of missed chances and what-ifs, giving her the extra ounce of courage she needs. She picks up her pace and knows this is it. This is what needs to be done. She knows what she wants, and, if she's being honest with herself, what she needs. What she's denied herself of for too long. Him.
She arrives at his door and presses three knocks against it which are neither soft raps nor forceful pounds; a middle ground which she feels is the best way to start this…thing. It can't be classed as a confrontation because that sounds too aggressive. This has to start civil. Regardless of how irritated or confused she feels right now, an angry confrontation will get her nowhere and Kate knows it. No rage or frustration just yet. She needs to first see how he reacts to her being there. If that doesn't work then yes, she will let her anger and frustration seep through because this needs to be done. There is no way in hell she is leaving with just a "nothing's wrong, Kate". That's a load of crap and they both know it.
No turning back now Kate, you can do this.
Author's note: Please let me know what you think! This is my first time posting on here...I've had this idea buzzing around in my head for a while and decided to finally get it out. It's not much but I will post more soon. How do you think the 'discussion' will go?