MY WHAT A CHUMP. . . HERCULE!
GOHAN: My, it disturbs us to see you, Hercule
'Cause we've never seen quite a chump
Yet ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Hercule
Each one of them morally sunk
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
If only you'd stop with the lies
No. . . one's. . . a. . . git like Hercule
Make's us sick as Hercule
No one's head's as incredibly thick as Hercule's
For there's no man in town half as girly
So wimpy it makes us all sick. . .
You can ask any Trunks, Buu or Chi-chi
And they'll tell you whose huge ass they'd pre-fer to kick
CHORUS: No one screams like Hercule
Like a girl, that's Hercule
GOHAN: No one's got a butt-chin on his face like Hercule!
HERCULE: Flexes his muscles As a specimen, yes, I am irritating!
CHORUS: My what a chump, that Hercule!
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"
GOHAN: My dad is the best
And Hercule is a drip
CHORUS: No. . . one. . . takes. . . credit like Hercule
Runs away like Hercule
GOHAN: At the Cell Games he cried like a girl, that's Hercule!
BULMA, CHI-CHI & EIGHTEEN: For there's no one as tiresome and ugly
HERCULE: You can see that my head's full of air
GOHAN: He does not have an ounce of dig-ni-ty
HERCULE: (winks) That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
CHORUS: No one's scared of Hercule
Has a 'Fro' like Hercule
In a wrestling match nobody quits like Hercule
HERCULE: My personal habits are nauseating! Spits across the room
Ptoooie!
Everyone ducks, looking disgusted
CHORUS: Ten points for Hercule!
HERCULE: When I was a lad I had thin scrawny legs
And got beaten daily in the school yard
I ate and I ate because I was depressed
So my 'muscle' is actually lard
CHORUS: No one's cheap like Hercule
Deceives millions like Hercule
GOHAN: Then goes poncing around in a dress like Hercule
HERCULE: My voice actor's needlessly aggravating
ALL: My what a chump. . .
Her-cule!
(REPRISE)...
GOKU: Vegeta, I'm afraid I've been thinking.
VEGETA: refusing to sing I bet that hurt
GOKU: I know!
That crazy old man is Videl's father
And his sanity's only so-so.
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony old man
See I promised my son he'd be dating Videl
And right now I'm evolving plan
whispers to Vegeta . . .and I'll hold him down while you. . . whispers
. . .and soon he'll be bleeding all over. . . whispers
. . .and then we'll tie him up in the basement until. . . whispers Guess!
VEGETA: Now I get it!
GOKU & VEGETA: Let's go!
No one sucks like Hercule
Takes cheap shots like Hercule
GOKU: He can't set up his daughter with my son like I can!
GOKU & VEGETA: Gohan's wedding we'll all soon be celebrating!
CHORUS: My what a chump. . .
Her-cule!