Episode 1.
*Timon swivels around in a rolling chair*
"Good evening."
"Bonjour!" Pumbaa heartily injects. He resides in a rolling chair, except much smaller.
"Today we review the result of an under appreciated, 45-year-old hack's wet dream."
Pumbaa pauses - and not for dramatic effect. "Eh, wet dream?"
"Sure, it's when you-,"
"When you're wet during a dream?"
*Timon gives the camera a deadpan look*
"Something like that…"
*They both swivel around in unison*
"Anywho, today we review an adult animated film improperly titled The Excruciatings."
"Pss, Incredibles."
"Whatever… so 'why' you ask, do I dislike this movie? Well, it 'aint Lion King. But that's for another story." Timon swivels around again. "Ya see, I just don't think it has much for the kids. Yes, yes, it does feature children. But the kids are blatantly not given very much
Screen time of their own. The movies jumps head over heels, elapsing time period over-,"
"Timon! Timon! We did that too in Lion King, remember?"
The merekat looks at him, "My point being," he says in exasperation and looks right into the camera again, "The Incredibles offers little in the way of heroes. So Mr. Incredible is able to reunite his family under one superhero roof, he only did it after puttin'em at risk."
"Timon-,"
"And for what!.? A gig that nearly costs him his life and causes him to lie to everyone."
"Timon-,"
"It's sick! If ya ask me, the silver-haired woman friend of the villain's shoulda grabbed onto
Mr. Incredible and laid one on his-," the merekat's name is shrilled loudly to stop him.
"What!.?"
"You forgot that it made oodles of money."
"Oh. But, still-,"
"And that it successfully spoofs old 60's movies."
"Well, there's that."
"And!" Pumbaa raises a hoof.
"Buddy, I wasn't about ta cut ya off."
"Oh. Well, it made lots of cash, brought in rave reviews and hoisted it's hack to the top of his game. Hmm, wish I knew what that word meant. Timon, will you tell me what a hack-,"
"Anyways! It's agreed that while some people like it… mostly spoof-starved adults with no sense of childhood wonder… others, eh, not so much. Why bother over this snoozer when The Iron Giant captured both adult and children's entertainment so well." Timon
squeezes Pumbaa's mouth shut. "Why bother over Fatatouille? A rat who cooks? Hehe."
"You, you called me fat?"
"Now, Pumbaa, buddy. Ya gotta understand-,"
"First you criticize one of my favorite movies of all time and now this!"
*Timon runs for the escape exit in the theaters*
"See ya next time!"
"Argh!"
"MAYBE NOT."
A/N:
~ Lavenderpaw ~