WAKE UP CALL
Daniel woke. Pain lanced through his body. Moaning softly, he tried to lift his head. Hearing familiar sounds he opened his eyes and gazed at his surroundings. Confused, he realized he was in the infirmary. The last thing he remembered was standing on the ramp, saying farewell to Jack before going through the stargate. "Did the healing device work? Did Jacob manage to heal me, or did they find a sarcophagus after all?" he wondered. Turning his head slightly Daniel saw Jack slumped in a chair, dozing.
A nurse entered the room, noticing Daniel was awake, she called out to Dr. Fraiser. "Ma'am," she said, "it looks like the patient is finally awake."
"Dr. Fraiser approached Daniel's bed. Smiling tenderly, she asked "how are you feeling?" while checking the monitors attached to his body.
Daniel tried to speak, unfortunately, all he managed was an incoherent mumble. At the sound of the commotion, Jack leapt to his feet, announcing "I'm awake". At the sight of Daniel, awake and alert, he beamed with relief and said "Big guy, you really had us worried there for a while."
"Wha happened?" Daniel managed to croak.
"Shush, don't try to talk," Dr. Fraiser said soothingly.
The nurse gave Daniel some water. Gulping thirstily, he drained the glass. Struggling to sit up, he looked around the infirmary, confused.
"How long has it been?" he asked.
"You were in surgery for 4 hours, and unconscious for another 12," Dr. Fraiser answered.
"Surgery, what for?" Daniel asked, puzzled.
Dr. Fraiser and Colonel O'Neill exchanged a worried glance.
"Daniel, do you know what happened to you?" Dr. Fraiser asked.
"The lab, I touched the bomb, the dose of radiation killed me," Daniel said.
"What lab, what bomb, Daniel? You haven't been to any labs," Jack asked.
"The lab on Kalona, the one Quinn took me to, we were in the lab when it blew up, the radiation burned me," Daniel said, increasingly agitated. "Then I ascended with Oma Desala."
Jack's worry increased. Daniel was babbling nonsense, Quinn, radiation burns, ascended. "What was he raving about for crying out loud?" Jack wondered.
"When did I reascend?" Daniel asked.
"Reascend? Daniel, your appendix burst, Doc had to operate. You've been out since last night," Jack said.
"No, I joined Oma Desala," Daniel insisted.
"Daniel, you haven't been anywhere," Jack said. "Doc, do something".
"Daniel, you're all right, nothing has happened to you, except for an appendectomy," Dr. Fraiser said gently. Gradually Daniel relaxed and fell into an uneasy sleep.
******
The members of SG1 met with Dr. Fraiser in the infirmary to discuss Daniel's plight.
"Doc, you don't think he's suffered any brain damage, do you?," Jack asked, concerned.
"I don't believe so, Colonel. Sometimes people experience vivid hallucinations while under anesthesia. It's uncommon, but there have been several documented cases," Janet said. "The disorientation should pass soon."
"Yeah, I hope you're right. He does have a wild imagination. Hey, I saw a show on TV once where a guy's amnesia was cured by whacking him on the head," Jack said helpfully.
"What channel was that, the Cartoon Network?" Janet thought. "I really don't think inflicting further trauma is a good idea, Colonel," she said diplomatically.
"I feel so helpless, what can I do?" Sam asked.
"Sam, why don't you try talking to him, try to convince him that this 'Quinn' is nothing more than a figment of imagination," Dr. Fraiser said.
"I'll try Janet," Sam said.
******
The next day Sam and Teal'c entered the infirmary. Teal'c studied Daniel carefully. "It is good to see you well, DanielJackson," he said.
"It's good to see you too, Teal'c," Daniel said. "You don't think I'm crazy, do you?" he asked nervously.
"No, I do not believe your sanity is at issue, DanielJackson," Teal'c said. "However, it would seem your memory has been affected."
"No it hasn't," Daniel said vehemently. "I don't know what's wrong with you guys, but it's you, not me," he insisted. "I remember everything that's happened since my appendix burst".
"So, exactly what happened after your surgery?" Jack asked.
"Jack, don't you remember? Thor beamed you up to his ship to help him fight the replicators," Daniel said.
"The replicwho?" Jack inquired.
"The replicators, Jack, you know the lego bugs that defeated the Asgard," Daniel said.
"Lego bugs defeated the Asgard?" Jack asked. "When did this happen?"
"Two years ago," said Daniel. "Then Sam and Teal'c joined you on Thor's ship, you guys beamed the gate up to the ship and escaped to another planet, then when you came back, you and Teal'c had to blow up the Russian sub while Sam and Thor destroyed the 'O'Neill'".
"The 'O'Neill'? What was that?" Jack asked, amused at the strange turn his friend's mind had taken.
"The ship the Asgard named after you," Daniel responded.
"The Asgard named a ship after me?" Jack said, flattered at the honor, even if it was just a product of Daniel's fevered imagination.
"Yes, but Sam destroyed it to save the Asgard home world," Daniel said.
"Uh huh," Jack said. "So where did these 'lego bugs' come from?"
"From Reece, the robot girl who made them as toys. We brought her back from her planet, she started creating new bugs, Sam and General Hammond almost blew up the base, then you shot her. You must remember that, Jack," Daniel said, his exasperation growing rapidly.
"So, you're telling me that the Asgard, the most advanced race we've encountered was destroyed by some tinkertoys built by some psycho killer robo-teen," Jack said.
"Daniel, why would we bring a potentially dangerous alien artifact back to the base? You know the protocol. Anything that could be hazardous is taken to the Alpha site for study, not brought back to Earth," Sam said.
"Well, I'm sure you must have had a good reason," Daniel mumbled.
"Fill me in buddy, what mighty adventures did we have after that?" Jack said, amused.
"You have to remember all this Jack. Sam help me out here," Daniel pleaded. "After you guys got back, Anise showed up with the armbands."
"Anise, and who would that be?" Sam said.
"Anise, the Tok'ra scientist, Sam. You MUST remember her," Daniel said, filling in his teammates on the details of Anise's visits to the SGC.
"Wait a minute pal," Jack interrupted. "You're saying that a Tok'ra scientist who dresses like a stripper came to the SGC with some 'magic armbands' that gave temporarily gave us super powers which we then used to blow up Apophis' ship. Then this bimbo tried to fry our brains with some spy detector. And all of this happened with the consent of both General Hammond AND Dr. Fraiser," Jack continued. "Does any of that seem even remotely probable, Danny? Do you really think that they'd let some mad scientist use us for guinea pigs? How likely do you think it is that I would let my team be treated like that by anyone, even if she did have big hooters?"
"Well, uh, uh, put like that, not really," Daniel muttered.
"It would appear implausible, DanielJackson," Teal'c said, a hint of a smile on his face.
"Ya think?" said Jack.
"DanielJackson appears to have read many of your comic books, O'Neill," Teal'c said.
"And seen 'The Manchurian Candidate'," Sam added.
"As a physician, I'd like to add that no virus could cause the human eye to see in the dark, much less give you super strength," Dr. Fraiser chimed in.
Daniel slunk down the pillows, face flushing with embarrassment.
Two familiar figures entered the infirmary. Sam turned, recognizing the newcomers, she embraced the elder man.
"Dad, it's great to see you again, and Martouf too," she said, smiling.
"We just stopped by to see how Dr. Jackson was doing," Jacob said.
Daniel literally jumped. Martouf was alive! Incredulous, he gaped at Martouf, mouth open, eyes wide.
"You better close your pie hole before you start catching flies," Jack said, smirking. "What's the matter, you see a ghost?"
"Uh, uh, uh," Daniel stuttered, unable to speak clearly.
Jacob gazed at the younger man sympathetically. "Martouf, perhaps you and I should go, it looks like Daniel needs to get some rest. Sam, we'll see you later," he said.
******
"Sam, have you heard from the Tollan lately?" Daniel asked, his voice shaking.
"Not since last month, after the thieves were arrested," Sam replied, frowning slightly.
"Last month!" Daniel exclaimed. "That was over two years ago."
"That is incorrect, DanielJackson, the thieving traitors were apprehended by ColonelO'Neill scarcely five weeks ago," Teal'c said.
Daniel's mind raced. "Could it all have been a dream?" Surely, he couldn't have imagined the last two years of his life.
"Buddy, you've been dreaming," Jack said smiling. "There are no 'lego bugs', this Anise sounds like some 'Playboy' fantasy of yours, and the Tok'ra, the Asgard, and the Tollan are safe and sound. I've never met a 'Jonas Quinn', and no, you didn't turn into a fluffy white cloud."
"Daniel, one thing puzzles me," Sam said. "You claim that both you and this 'Quinn' visited the lab when it exploded, giving you a lethal dose of radiation. But, later after you ascended, Quinn joined the SGC. Why wasn't he affected by the radiation too? Believe me, a nuclear reaction of that magnitude would have killed everything within a ten mile radius. There's no way anyone would have survived, much less been in a condition to be accepted by the SGC" Sam continued.
"I uh, I dunno," Daniel spluttered.
"From what you said, this 'Quinn' guy doesn't exactly seem like Air Force material Daniel. He cowered in a corner while you played the hero, tried to blame you for his incompetence, then stole from and betrayed his own people. Oh yeah, just the sort of recruit we're looking for," Jack said sarcastically.
"I do not believe such a person would have been welcome as a member of SG1 DanielJackson," Teal'c stated. "And you may rest assured that the actions I would take against anyone I deemed responsible for your demise, would be well within my rights as a Jaffa," he said ominously.
"All right, maybe Jonas doesn't exist," thought Daniel excitedly. "Maybe the last two years have been a wacky, wacky dream. Maybe Jack never told me to shut up in front of a bunch of strangers or tried to blow me up. Maybe Sam didn't dump me as a friend because she's in love with Jack and Teal'c hasn't been acting like Jack's comedy sidekick. Maybe my role on the team didn't diminish until I was about to quit. Could I really have been imaging all this?"
Daniel gazed at his surroundings, studying the faces of his friends and team mates. Everything seemed normal, the way things were before his appendix burst, before everything went bad. Jack was acting protective and caring towards him, Sam was neither simpering at Jack nor showing signs of disdain for his intellect. As for Teal'c, the dignified warrior of his earlier acquaintance was back, no sign of the comedy Jaffa was in evidence.
Beaming at his friends, Daniel said "oh thank god, the last two years didn't really happen, did they? It was all just a horrible nightmare."
"That's what we've been trying to tell you, big guy," Jack said.
******
Janet Fraiser stood in her living room. Sighing, she looked around her home. Since Daniel's appendix had burst during the barbecue she had been hosting, she had been so busy, that she hadn't even had the time to clear away the dirty dishes.
As she worked, she began musing about her patient's bizarre hallucination. "One thing I don't get, where on earth did Daniel get the idea of 'Jonas Quinn'," Janet thought, baffled. "Oh well, that's one mystery I'll probably never find the answer to."
"Come on, Cassie, let's get this mess cleaned up," she said.
On the floor, unnoticed, lay a copy of 'Tiger Beat'. The magazine was open, displaying the section 'where are they now - a look at has-beens'. Oblivious, Janet wiped her feet on a picture of a former teen idol.
The End.
Daniel woke. Pain lanced through his body. Moaning softly, he tried to lift his head. Hearing familiar sounds he opened his eyes and gazed at his surroundings. Confused, he realized he was in the infirmary. The last thing he remembered was standing on the ramp, saying farewell to Jack before going through the stargate. "Did the healing device work? Did Jacob manage to heal me, or did they find a sarcophagus after all?" he wondered. Turning his head slightly Daniel saw Jack slumped in a chair, dozing.
A nurse entered the room, noticing Daniel was awake, she called out to Dr. Fraiser. "Ma'am," she said, "it looks like the patient is finally awake."
"Dr. Fraiser approached Daniel's bed. Smiling tenderly, she asked "how are you feeling?" while checking the monitors attached to his body.
Daniel tried to speak, unfortunately, all he managed was an incoherent mumble. At the sound of the commotion, Jack leapt to his feet, announcing "I'm awake". At the sight of Daniel, awake and alert, he beamed with relief and said "Big guy, you really had us worried there for a while."
"Wha happened?" Daniel managed to croak.
"Shush, don't try to talk," Dr. Fraiser said soothingly.
The nurse gave Daniel some water. Gulping thirstily, he drained the glass. Struggling to sit up, he looked around the infirmary, confused.
"How long has it been?" he asked.
"You were in surgery for 4 hours, and unconscious for another 12," Dr. Fraiser answered.
"Surgery, what for?" Daniel asked, puzzled.
Dr. Fraiser and Colonel O'Neill exchanged a worried glance.
"Daniel, do you know what happened to you?" Dr. Fraiser asked.
"The lab, I touched the bomb, the dose of radiation killed me," Daniel said.
"What lab, what bomb, Daniel? You haven't been to any labs," Jack asked.
"The lab on Kalona, the one Quinn took me to, we were in the lab when it blew up, the radiation burned me," Daniel said, increasingly agitated. "Then I ascended with Oma Desala."
Jack's worry increased. Daniel was babbling nonsense, Quinn, radiation burns, ascended. "What was he raving about for crying out loud?" Jack wondered.
"When did I reascend?" Daniel asked.
"Reascend? Daniel, your appendix burst, Doc had to operate. You've been out since last night," Jack said.
"No, I joined Oma Desala," Daniel insisted.
"Daniel, you haven't been anywhere," Jack said. "Doc, do something".
"Daniel, you're all right, nothing has happened to you, except for an appendectomy," Dr. Fraiser said gently. Gradually Daniel relaxed and fell into an uneasy sleep.
******
The members of SG1 met with Dr. Fraiser in the infirmary to discuss Daniel's plight.
"Doc, you don't think he's suffered any brain damage, do you?," Jack asked, concerned.
"I don't believe so, Colonel. Sometimes people experience vivid hallucinations while under anesthesia. It's uncommon, but there have been several documented cases," Janet said. "The disorientation should pass soon."
"Yeah, I hope you're right. He does have a wild imagination. Hey, I saw a show on TV once where a guy's amnesia was cured by whacking him on the head," Jack said helpfully.
"What channel was that, the Cartoon Network?" Janet thought. "I really don't think inflicting further trauma is a good idea, Colonel," she said diplomatically.
"I feel so helpless, what can I do?" Sam asked.
"Sam, why don't you try talking to him, try to convince him that this 'Quinn' is nothing more than a figment of imagination," Dr. Fraiser said.
"I'll try Janet," Sam said.
******
The next day Sam and Teal'c entered the infirmary. Teal'c studied Daniel carefully. "It is good to see you well, DanielJackson," he said.
"It's good to see you too, Teal'c," Daniel said. "You don't think I'm crazy, do you?" he asked nervously.
"No, I do not believe your sanity is at issue, DanielJackson," Teal'c said. "However, it would seem your memory has been affected."
"No it hasn't," Daniel said vehemently. "I don't know what's wrong with you guys, but it's you, not me," he insisted. "I remember everything that's happened since my appendix burst".
"So, exactly what happened after your surgery?" Jack asked.
"Jack, don't you remember? Thor beamed you up to his ship to help him fight the replicators," Daniel said.
"The replicwho?" Jack inquired.
"The replicators, Jack, you know the lego bugs that defeated the Asgard," Daniel said.
"Lego bugs defeated the Asgard?" Jack asked. "When did this happen?"
"Two years ago," said Daniel. "Then Sam and Teal'c joined you on Thor's ship, you guys beamed the gate up to the ship and escaped to another planet, then when you came back, you and Teal'c had to blow up the Russian sub while Sam and Thor destroyed the 'O'Neill'".
"The 'O'Neill'? What was that?" Jack asked, amused at the strange turn his friend's mind had taken.
"The ship the Asgard named after you," Daniel responded.
"The Asgard named a ship after me?" Jack said, flattered at the honor, even if it was just a product of Daniel's fevered imagination.
"Yes, but Sam destroyed it to save the Asgard home world," Daniel said.
"Uh huh," Jack said. "So where did these 'lego bugs' come from?"
"From Reece, the robot girl who made them as toys. We brought her back from her planet, she started creating new bugs, Sam and General Hammond almost blew up the base, then you shot her. You must remember that, Jack," Daniel said, his exasperation growing rapidly.
"So, you're telling me that the Asgard, the most advanced race we've encountered was destroyed by some tinkertoys built by some psycho killer robo-teen," Jack said.
"Daniel, why would we bring a potentially dangerous alien artifact back to the base? You know the protocol. Anything that could be hazardous is taken to the Alpha site for study, not brought back to Earth," Sam said.
"Well, I'm sure you must have had a good reason," Daniel mumbled.
"Fill me in buddy, what mighty adventures did we have after that?" Jack said, amused.
"You have to remember all this Jack. Sam help me out here," Daniel pleaded. "After you guys got back, Anise showed up with the armbands."
"Anise, and who would that be?" Sam said.
"Anise, the Tok'ra scientist, Sam. You MUST remember her," Daniel said, filling in his teammates on the details of Anise's visits to the SGC.
"Wait a minute pal," Jack interrupted. "You're saying that a Tok'ra scientist who dresses like a stripper came to the SGC with some 'magic armbands' that gave temporarily gave us super powers which we then used to blow up Apophis' ship. Then this bimbo tried to fry our brains with some spy detector. And all of this happened with the consent of both General Hammond AND Dr. Fraiser," Jack continued. "Does any of that seem even remotely probable, Danny? Do you really think that they'd let some mad scientist use us for guinea pigs? How likely do you think it is that I would let my team be treated like that by anyone, even if she did have big hooters?"
"Well, uh, uh, put like that, not really," Daniel muttered.
"It would appear implausible, DanielJackson," Teal'c said, a hint of a smile on his face.
"Ya think?" said Jack.
"DanielJackson appears to have read many of your comic books, O'Neill," Teal'c said.
"And seen 'The Manchurian Candidate'," Sam added.
"As a physician, I'd like to add that no virus could cause the human eye to see in the dark, much less give you super strength," Dr. Fraiser chimed in.
Daniel slunk down the pillows, face flushing with embarrassment.
Two familiar figures entered the infirmary. Sam turned, recognizing the newcomers, she embraced the elder man.
"Dad, it's great to see you again, and Martouf too," she said, smiling.
"We just stopped by to see how Dr. Jackson was doing," Jacob said.
Daniel literally jumped. Martouf was alive! Incredulous, he gaped at Martouf, mouth open, eyes wide.
"You better close your pie hole before you start catching flies," Jack said, smirking. "What's the matter, you see a ghost?"
"Uh, uh, uh," Daniel stuttered, unable to speak clearly.
Jacob gazed at the younger man sympathetically. "Martouf, perhaps you and I should go, it looks like Daniel needs to get some rest. Sam, we'll see you later," he said.
******
"Sam, have you heard from the Tollan lately?" Daniel asked, his voice shaking.
"Not since last month, after the thieves were arrested," Sam replied, frowning slightly.
"Last month!" Daniel exclaimed. "That was over two years ago."
"That is incorrect, DanielJackson, the thieving traitors were apprehended by ColonelO'Neill scarcely five weeks ago," Teal'c said.
Daniel's mind raced. "Could it all have been a dream?" Surely, he couldn't have imagined the last two years of his life.
"Buddy, you've been dreaming," Jack said smiling. "There are no 'lego bugs', this Anise sounds like some 'Playboy' fantasy of yours, and the Tok'ra, the Asgard, and the Tollan are safe and sound. I've never met a 'Jonas Quinn', and no, you didn't turn into a fluffy white cloud."
"Daniel, one thing puzzles me," Sam said. "You claim that both you and this 'Quinn' visited the lab when it exploded, giving you a lethal dose of radiation. But, later after you ascended, Quinn joined the SGC. Why wasn't he affected by the radiation too? Believe me, a nuclear reaction of that magnitude would have killed everything within a ten mile radius. There's no way anyone would have survived, much less been in a condition to be accepted by the SGC" Sam continued.
"I uh, I dunno," Daniel spluttered.
"From what you said, this 'Quinn' guy doesn't exactly seem like Air Force material Daniel. He cowered in a corner while you played the hero, tried to blame you for his incompetence, then stole from and betrayed his own people. Oh yeah, just the sort of recruit we're looking for," Jack said sarcastically.
"I do not believe such a person would have been welcome as a member of SG1 DanielJackson," Teal'c stated. "And you may rest assured that the actions I would take against anyone I deemed responsible for your demise, would be well within my rights as a Jaffa," he said ominously.
"All right, maybe Jonas doesn't exist," thought Daniel excitedly. "Maybe the last two years have been a wacky, wacky dream. Maybe Jack never told me to shut up in front of a bunch of strangers or tried to blow me up. Maybe Sam didn't dump me as a friend because she's in love with Jack and Teal'c hasn't been acting like Jack's comedy sidekick. Maybe my role on the team didn't diminish until I was about to quit. Could I really have been imaging all this?"
Daniel gazed at his surroundings, studying the faces of his friends and team mates. Everything seemed normal, the way things were before his appendix burst, before everything went bad. Jack was acting protective and caring towards him, Sam was neither simpering at Jack nor showing signs of disdain for his intellect. As for Teal'c, the dignified warrior of his earlier acquaintance was back, no sign of the comedy Jaffa was in evidence.
Beaming at his friends, Daniel said "oh thank god, the last two years didn't really happen, did they? It was all just a horrible nightmare."
"That's what we've been trying to tell you, big guy," Jack said.
******
Janet Fraiser stood in her living room. Sighing, she looked around her home. Since Daniel's appendix had burst during the barbecue she had been hosting, she had been so busy, that she hadn't even had the time to clear away the dirty dishes.
As she worked, she began musing about her patient's bizarre hallucination. "One thing I don't get, where on earth did Daniel get the idea of 'Jonas Quinn'," Janet thought, baffled. "Oh well, that's one mystery I'll probably never find the answer to."
"Come on, Cassie, let's get this mess cleaned up," she said.
On the floor, unnoticed, lay a copy of 'Tiger Beat'. The magazine was open, displaying the section 'where are they now - a look at has-beens'. Oblivious, Janet wiped her feet on a picture of a former teen idol.
The End.