Hello! CrackerTales here with a new one shot that happens to be a crossover. I wanted to write this form sometime now and I am glad I am finally posting it! Is been a while since my last story (But not that long according to my standars).
So this is a new story; kinda weird, kinda funny (not not really). The idea came the other day with a typical "what if" scenario which is how many stories happen to be created, I suppose.
Before starting I must say that Neither Gravity Falls nor KND belong to me and that neither Alex Hirsch or Mr. Wartburton are paying me for this. Why should they? This is fans work! Still love their cartoon, though.
Also, I am not the mind behing the amazing AU Moster Fall is, but whoever it is, is fantastic!
Get ready for some minor character cameos! and buckle up for this one is long.
Also, this takes place after The Last Mabelcorn for GF and between seasons 3 and 4 for KND, bUt the GKND are mentioned.
I should also said that here McGucket is a Wizard who can see the future (a Seer, if you might)
This is All from Nigel´s perspective
Enjoy
Little Weird Town
by CrackerTales
It´s 5:30 on the afternoon. I have been flying alone all the way from home and the lack of noise my team usually provides only keeps me thinking about their lack of commitment. They´ve said I am being paranoid… again; and that there is no reason to take this seriously. I even inform of my suspicions to Numbuh 362, but she was as doubtful as the others.
Since I realized there will be no help from my so called team, I decided to take this on my own hands, no one stopped me; not my supreme leader, nor my team. But they did agree to help from home where they can watch their movies and play their video games; sometimes I feel like I am the only one taking care of the real treats.
When I first heard about the news that raised my suspicions I was at home watching TV with my dad. I remember a lady in a boring suit interrupting our show and her even more boring adult voice telling everybody that there had been some strange risings of energy near the northwest coast and that there was nothing to be worried about because it was only an "unreported meteor shower" . Please! Who do they thing they are fooling? There was no meteor shower! Not that we know and almost nothing escapes us! But unfortunately, it seems like a suspicion coming from the "neurotic Sector V leader" as Numbuh 86 had call me, is not enough to use our resources to go on a blind mission. It took me weeks to convince Numbuh 362 to let me come, but she said that I should go alone in case they need my team for more important business. I can´t wait to see their faces when I prove I was right the whole time.
I am finally here. I land on the woods and walk quietly to the place where it all begin and that I am sure hides a Kid-doom device somewhere, what else could have cause those anomalies? This is all an evil adult plot, I know, and I will prove it, no matter what.
The building from where the anomalies came from, according to this… thing Numbuh 2 gave me, is too lonely and too quiet for this time of the day, is only 5:50 and there is no soul around. Even the animals seems to be mute. Isn´t it supposed to be full of animal noises in the woods? The whole setting gives me chills, but I ignore them as I walk right to the entrance of the log house that apparently goes under the name of "The Mystery Shack".
The inside had the exact same feeling of creepiness the outside does. Is a warm place, but there is something upsetting on the air, I supposed is the evil adult activity, those kind of things always makes me feel uneasy. I scan the place with my eyes apparently it is some sort of shop, but everything seems fake or over thought, obviously a façade to hide a bigger and more destructive reality. I have to be careful and quiet. Any warning of my presence can mean the failure of this oper…
"HELLO!"
I am not proud of the shriek that just came out of my mouth. But I never expected an old man taking me by surprise emerging from behind a counter. I take out one of my guns and point it at him expecting some sort of attack, while I am waiting I observe my potential enemy; he is a funny looking old man , he has an old scarecrow hat and a long white beard that covers his chest, I notice something in t that rises my curiosity
"Did you knew you got a band aid on y…"
"I´M OLD MAN MCGUCKET! " he yells interrupting my question. I look at him dubiously wondering what he is up too
"ok…" I say and immediately raise my gun once again to his face. He doesn´t even move
"Funny thing" he says cheerfully "I don´t recall this one"
I am confused. Trying to understand this man is harder than explaining geography to Numbuh 4.
"Angry looking bald kid" I heard him calling me and that annoys me to unexplained levels , when I look up to him I notice he is looking at me with questioning eyes, like is trying to remember something
"Oh, yeah!" he exclaims with a smile "Maybe they have something here that can help you!" And so, he jump from behind the counter and quickly pass me by to reach a tall shelf behind me. His movements are fluid and crawly, almost animal like. The way he climbs the shelf reminds me of a bug climbing on a wall. I keep pointing at him, expecting always his attack. He takes out and drops aimlessly to the floor, I don´t know what is he looking for but something tells me it could be dangerous
"I can find anything you might need, Nigel, but maybe they got some…" I bring him down with a quick movement and the man drops hard on the floor, he shakes a little and gets really to jump back, before he could do anything he finds my gun centimeters from his old wrinkled face
"All right!" I demand firmly "How do you know my name? Who are you working for?" I am confused. The moment I heard my name I acted by instinct and to be sincere, I expect the old man to attack me back, but he is just there cringing a little, it seems like he doesn't like guns at all
"Who are you?" I ask him. He looks at me and opens his mouth
"I´m old man McGucket"
"Yeah, you told me that!" I am starting to lose my patience, but I know I must remain calm, maybe they have send this one to confuse me so it would be easier for them to win. I am so very close to shooting I have no time for silly old man games
"I´m gonna ask one more time" I tell him hissing "I want to know who send…"
"McGucket? What are you doing here?"
I turn my head at the sound of a unexpected voice and find behind me a young girl on a wheelchair. She is wearing a cute pink sweater with a picture of a fish on it and her legs are covered with a knitted blanket, odd, we are in the middle of summer.
"We told you" she continues talking "There is nothing here! if we need you we´ll call you" I turn around and notice that the man had move. I lower my weapon and reproach myself for allowing this. I search for him but he is nowhere to be found, maybe he just go away like
"Here!" he exclaims suddenly appearing at my right "This is for you"
and he puts an little package of dry meat on my hand
"It´s the only thing I could find" he tells me apologetically "I know astronauts need a lot of meat, maybe this can help" I will never have an idea of what this man is talking about, I am not sure I want to
"Yeah, yeah" said the girl "off you go" and he chases him out with her wheelchair. Once he is at the door he calls me once again
"Good luck on space, kid!" and leaves giggling cheerfully. I am ashamed to accept I don't know how to react to this, so far this mission has been so not what I expected
"Sorry about that" I hear the girl saying "He does our local kook"
I turn around to see her, there is a big and bright smile on her face, she seems friendly enough, but I have children enemies before, she could be as bad as the delightful children for all I know, this is why I can let my guard down
"The shack is closed, you know?" she says hesitating a little "if you were looking for something in particular I would love to help. unfortunately right now we are having some… technical difficulties"
I know when someone is making stuff up! I recognized the doubt on her expression!
"The kook knew my name" I ask putting all my will into not treat her with my gun, "How does he knew that?"
I don´t trust her with her big smiles and colorful sweaters, but if by some crazy irony she ends up to be on our side, I will have a poor time apologizing to her.
"McGucket knows a lot of stuff" she answers shrugging "And at the same time he knows nothing at all"
What was that? That doesn´t even makes sense!
My facial expression must be reflecting perfectly my internal thoughts for she just mumbles a "it´s complicated" and makes a gesture with her hand as telling me to forget it. That, of course, I will not do. There is something weird here and I will undercover it, no matter what.
"I like your mustard gun or whatever that is" she exclaims a little exited, thing that I don't understand, this a weapon that could harm her any moment now. Maybe she is just… simple. She keeps talking, but is only nonsense girly stuff. I can tell because I recognized that spark on her eyes and the big goofy smile that shows her braced teeth, I have seen Numbuh 3 with a face like that before "…I been asking him for a glitter one but he keeps saying no! I think it might have to do with the time I made his sweater so shiny he almost went blind… he look fabulous though, and… "
She starts coughing out of sudden, maybe she just got chocked with her own saliva for talking too much. Still this looks more like an asthma attack. I see her taking a big bottle of water from under her blanket and drink almost half of it without taking a break
"Wow! ten minutes! That´s got to be my new record!" she seems pleased with herself, her arms rest proudly over her waist and a big smile is drawn on her lips "The name is Mabel, by the way"
And she offers me her hand in a friendly gesture
"Well" I say shaking her hand, it feels cold and sticky, "I am Nigel"
I decide to go under my civil name in case she is indeed with the enemy. Maybe is best for me to stick to the original plan, pretend to be lost
"I was walking through the woods and lost track of time, got a little lost and when I saw a light here, well I thought someone could help me" I hope my acting is convincing, this girl could be sharper that what she looks. She opens her mouth to reply, I am curious to see what she would offer me. If I can win her over, this will be a lot easier. Unfortunately, she gets interrupted. A high pitched girl-like scream is heard from distance, the eyes of the young girl get wide and worried as her body tenses in shock
"DIPPER!" she yells and I am afraid I might go temporally deaf. Almost immediately I see a tall slime figure run past me, I can´t see what or who it is but I catch a glimpse of red. I have never seen someone move so fast not without gear. The girl, Mabel, tries to rush to the entrance in desperation, Whoever this 'Dipper' is, must be important to her. He gets stopped rudely
"MABEL!" shouts an adult who unfortunately I cannot see but the volume of his voice tells me he is near "GET BACK IN, NOW!" the girl doesn´t want to listen, I recognize rebellion on her features and it lifts my spirit; maybe I can trust her, maybe I can take her with me and save her for the evil life this adult is probably forcing into her.
"MABEL!" calls the man again, this time with a little growl adorning his voice
"I need to see if he is o…" and she starts coughing again, this time more violently and her body is shaking. I notice she is having difficulties to open her water bottle, so I help her. I take the bottle to her mouth, she takes one gulp and the rest is poured over her head. This girls is definitely weird.
"He will be fine, sweet heart" I heard the voice telling her, she is patting on her chair, trying to catch her breath "Wendy will take care… come back in… You need to get in the tank" He sounds caring but I believe he is faking it. I still don´t trust whoever he is, why would she need to be on a tank? Is that a mind control device? Is that what causes her asthma attacks? I need to keep this kid safe, she seems brave enough, she would make a good operative, even if she can´t walk
"You better go" she tells me quietly but firm "Take the golf cart outside, the keys are always in"
"But…"
"You don´t have to return it, we´ll find it" I see her preparing to come inside, I reach for her; there is something going on here and she could a helpless victim! Before I can do anything, a long, shiver sending howl is heard. I think is a wolf´s calling, I didn´t known this woods had wolves at all.
"Go now" said the girl a lot more calmed "It´s for the best" and she disappears behind a door.
:::::
I took her advice and got out with the golf cart. But I won't abandon a fellow kid in the hands of some evil adult, no matter who he is. He was so coward hiding behind shadows ordering her around! I have the feeling she is not allowed to leave that place at all. And who is Dipper? And why was she so worried?
Is 8:30 and I have returned to the "Mystery Shack". I have bring along all my spying equipment … there are a lot of answers I need to know.
I put on my gear and start climbing the wall, there is a light on the attic, a clear sign someone is there. Once I am right under the window, I secure myself to the wooden exterior. I send in a couple of spying bugs, I have no cameras because Numbuh 2 never care enough to fix them, so I would have to use only microphones. I turn on my hearing aid and listen to the people inside. I hope this conversation would give the answers I need.
"THAT WAS INCREDIBLY RISKY, POOR PLANNED , AND STUPID!" yells a grown up, a different one than the one on the shop "WHAT ON THE EARTH WERE YOU THINKING? WE ARE LUCKY WENDY WAS ABLE TO TRACK YOU THAT QUICKLY"
Tense silence for a moment. I pin myself closer to the wall waiting
"I am sorry, great uncle Ford" answers lowly a boy. The adult growls and I can hear him pacing around the room
"Just don't do that again" he says grimly after a heavy sight "Wendy had to fight a bunch of wolves for you"
"I was just trying to help!" exclaims the boy, this time his voice is louder "I thought that if I went back to the…"
"I told you not to go back there!" interrupted the man, this time he didn´t yell "I don´t want you or your sister in danger!"
"But great uncle Ford! I am sure I can figure this out! if you only let me wor… Ouah! Grunkle Stan! Not to thigh!"
"Sorry, kid" says another voice which I recognized from before "But Ford is right, I don't want any of you in danger"
There is some under breath complain from the boy, I can´t hear what he is saying but he is probably just babbling angrily to his… "Grunkle". I think.
"Don´t worry, Dipper. We will find the cure eventually" I am glad to hear her voice again, it means she is fine.
"Mabel! Summer is almost over! And if we don't find a cure soon we can´t go back home!"
I am concern for his outraged answers. What cure? What did they do to those kids… maybe I would need backup after all.
"Then we stay" she says "And bring mom and dad here"
"And you think they would accept us? LOOK AT US, MABEL! WE ARE… WE…ARRGG!" and I heard a metal object being throw to the floor. The room remains quiet for a moment
"Besides" says a voice I haven't heard until now "Can´t do that, dude, McGucket sealed the roads, no one can get in or out Gravity Falls"
What? Whatever they are doing is so dangerous it need to be keep in secret from the rest of the world, maybe I am not saving only children, but humanity as a whole here.
"That´s not complete true" says Mabel slowly, My body tenses at her words, will she… "There was a kid on the shop today, I´ve never seen him before"
she did.
"What?" exclaimed surprised one of the adults… Ford, I believe "There was an outsider in the Shack?"
"Yeah, I was going to tell you but knucklehead here got in trouble!" says the other one
"Hey!" The boy complains, the man chuckles and I hear some struggles, I got ready to attack if necessary. Then I heard the boy giggling "Grunkle Stan! Stop!" He sound cheerful… I suppose there is nothing to be worried about… yet.
"Ok, ok, Enough of that!" I heard the other adult say. He must be their leader, everyone seems obey his orders right away "Mabel, I would want to know everything about this boy you met"
"You should talk to McGucket then, he seems to know him more than I do, he gave him a piece of dry meat and all"
"From the shop?"
"Yes"
"Did he paid for it?"
"…No…"
Silence
"That would come from your pay, kid" Cheap bastard! Charging her for that. I didn´t even eat the dry meat!
"You don't pay me…" she says stony. A short silence follows her answer.
"Then is coming from Soos´s " Just what a tyrant would do, take advantage for his employees. I bet he is the worst of them all
"is ok, dude!" answers who I suspect to be 'Soos'. I am not sure what age he is, he sound young and old at the same time
"It´s just a piece of meat, Stan! It´s not that important!" this other man seems a grumpier by the minute "What matters is why Fiddleford gave him that?"
"He said something about space" says the girl. She sounds as confused as I was when I met that old man
"Space, huh?" I hear the boy say, along with his voice I hear a pen clicking over and over again "What do you think he meant by that?"
"It doesn´t matter" exclaims that Ford guy "He is most likely to have forgotten by now" They all are quiet, I wish I could see what they are doing. Peaking by the window seems to risky now.
"His name is Nigel" says Mabel and I tense "When I found him he was pointing at McGucket with a mustard gun or something"
"Mustard gun?"
"He looked all paranoid and aggressive"
"Sounds familiar…"
"And he got khaki shorts and a red turtleneck sweater…"
"He even dresses like you!" Exclaims one of the men with a teasing voice "Are you sure you didn't leave some family here, Point Dexter? Maybe he is a grandson of yours"
"Stan, be real!" answers the other adult immediately. I can hear he is very annoyed
"You said it" and the other hums loudly
"Was there anything else, Mabel?" says he with a low growl. Like trying to ignore the previous comment
"hmmm" I hear the girl considering, I suspect she is trying to recall the moment we met "He was acting a little too much like Dipper after my sock puppet show, but a lot less intense"
The boy whims. I don't know what it means but it is definitely not a pleasant experience. Is sock puppet a code for something?
"What happened at you show, Mabel?" asks her interrogator hesitating, is almost like he don´t want to know the answer. the children are quiet. For a moment I thought my microphone was out
"Kids?" says the man one more time, but both he and I have to wait for another minute for the answer
"Bill" replies the boy with a quiet yet worried voice.
The man growls and stumps around the room, his steps sounds heavy an angry. They must really dislike this Bill person.
"No, no, no, no!" I hear him say "That´s impossible! The Shack is Bill proofed! Mabel slaughter a unicorn for that!"
"I didn't kill her… she was pretty bruised though…"
Ok, that sets it. I am disappointed, that previous statement confirms that Mabel as one of them, there was no remorse on her words and that make me shiver. I just hope this "unicorn" is not a Fellow Kids Next Door operative working undercover
"Wait!" says the other man with confusion "Who is Bill?"
So this people had keep things from each other. This could work in my advantage if needed.
"Don´t worry about that" says the raspy adult voice, he is worried, I can sense as much
"Kids? Who is Bill"
"Ahhh…"
"Leave it, Stan!" yells the other one, but the man is not to be silenced
"No! You will tell me what´s going on!" he yells back and the heavy sound of stomping make me believe he is crossing all the way to his collegue
"It´s not important!"
"Not important? Dipper flinches at the sound of the name and you daRE TO TELL IS NOT IMPORTANT!"
They are all quiet for a minute or two. The air feels heavy even outside their window, were I am. This whole time, the only sound I can register are their paths of the man´s breath.
"He is bad" explains Mabel with a grim voice after a while
"Bad?" says the grumpy adult a lot calmer now "Has he done anything to you?"
"Dipper got it worse…" answers her so quietly I almost don't hear her. A soft, yet angry growl follows
"What did he do?" And no one dares to answer, which is a shame. I am a little curious about this Bill person "Boy. what. Did. He. Do?" The way he separated his words put me on alert, he sounds treating. Still, the boy doesn´t answers. This, of course, doesn´t please the adult
"You! It´s is all your fault, isn´t it? This is some evil, creepy thing of yours, right?! This has to do with you and your STUPID EXPERIMENTS!"
"STAN, SHUT UP!" and he does "We will talk about it later, right now we have other priorities"
So this Bill is a treat to them. I doubt is another adult, they don´t see each other as enemies, just allies to destroy us kids. So this means he is either a teen or one of us.
"He still can have some business with Bill" exclaims that Dipper trying to bring the old subject back. He sound awkward anf a little forced "I… I don´t think we show risk it"
"We can find him and ask him" Mabel suggest and I hope they listen to her; once they are out looking for me I can come in, find that dooming device and destroy it. I know is in there somewhere.
"We will hunt him if necessary! Do you have anything we can use?" I am starting to dislike this Ford even more, I am not an animal to be hunt.
"He must have left his sent all over the place" exclaim another voice I haven´t heard yet, it took my surprise, I didn´t know there was another one "I can track him down if you want"
Ha! I would like to see her try! No teenager, as I assume she is, is a match for Numbuh 1 of the Kids Next Door! If the fight comes, I would welcome it as a kid.
"And then what?" says that other man sounding very annoyed "We get our claws on the boy and get him to talk, but then what? We can let him leave just like that!"
"We free him, he can´t leave town anyway"
"he got in, Stanford! chances are he can leave!"
"Then we look him up or something! We can't afford boy wandering around in this place!"
"I have done many questionable things back in my day, but I won´t kidnap a boy!"
"then what do you suggest?!"
"We can use one of those funny looking guns you use with the government officers"
"Are you crazy? I permanently rise the power! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IT WOULD DO TO HIS BRAIN?"
"WELL, AT LEAST I AM OFFERING SOMETHING! " they are getting angrier at each other by the minute, with no reason what so ever. My guess is that the man is still upset about that Bill, whoever he may be. I hear Mabel trying to call them down
"Guys!" she says but they ignore her desperate efforts
"AREN´T YOU THE SMART ONE OR SOMETHING?"
"OF COURSE I AM!"
"THEN USE THAT BIG BRAIN OF YOURS! OR IS A KID TOO MUCH FOR Y…"
He gets interrupted by a loud and powerful roar that shakes the whole shack down, I nearly fall, but manage to keep balance. What on earth was that?
This is too much, if I stay one more second without knowing what they are doing there I will go insane. I move slowly and as quiet as possible, still, I can hear the wood cracking under my touch
"Did you hear that?" that Dipper boy has a very sharp hearing, This could mean my capture. I heard them move and decide to act fast, with a quick movement I use the shadow on my advantage and hide from sight. Slowly, I climb down the wall being careful of not making any noise, I don´t even dare to look up. The more I go near the ground the more static I hear
"I… on… guarding…" then I lost signal at all. Stupid short range spy bugs.
I run to the safety of the woods, once I am hiding between tree branches and darkness, I dare to look at that house once again. I don´t remember the gargoyle on top of it being there before.
::::
It´s 7.30 on the morning. I barely slept last night thinking of what I´ve heard. I don't know exactly what this people is up to, but more than ever I believe they had some dangerous device hiding on that innocent looking shack of theirs.
I have decided to call Global Command, unfortunately Numbuh 362 was apparently 'busy' and Numbuh 86 didn´t allowed me to talk to her. So I decided to stick to the original plan. I have been trying to contact my team for about an hour now. But either no one picks up or there is too much interference on the air. I am hopping is the later, otherwise it would mean they are too busy playing videogames, organizing tea parties or reading comic magazines for attending an important call. I try once again, this time they actually answer.
"Ah, Hi Numbuh 1!" greets me Numbuh 4 whose face cover most of the monitor "How´s the special mission going?"
I can hear a sudden explosion noise accompanied with an electric guitar solo and the loud call of "Game Over" coming from behind him
"Oh, Yeah!" I heard Numbuh 2 shouting "20,354 points!"
"Aww, man! That is more than my high score" the short blond complains. So they were actually ignoring my calls "I want a rematch so I can kick your butt back to second best!"
"You wish! Why don´t you just accept de…"
"WOULD YOU GUY PAY SOME ATTENTION TO ME PLEASE!" I couldn´t take it anymore, it frustrates me that my team has little to no notion of the danger we are facing. I see a little black haired head appear on the screen
"HIYA, NUMBUH 1" she is waving. A big, bright smile is on her face. the other members of my team finally decide to show up
"So, how is Florida?"
"It´s not Florida, Numbuh 4. I am in Oregon" I roll my eyes, he either doesn´t notice or doesn't care
"Uh, Oregon!" exclaims Kuki waving her hands on excitement "Can you bring me the special collector's edition Rainbow monkey Lumberjack! They are only available there"
"Numbuh 3 this is a very important mission I am doing here! Not a shopping trip! Anyway, I learned some things and I think they can prove I was right the whole time…"
"Wait" interrupts me our 2x4 technology expert "You mean you haven´t proved nothing yet?"
I feel irritated. I knew my team was as skeptical as Global Command, but I hoped they at least would try to listen
"I haven´t seen the device yet, but they are definitely hiding something"
"Who?"
"Whatever organization they are! I was spying on them last night and heard some interesting things. Numbuh 5, write this down, I want a record of it in case something happens to me"
"That bad?" asks the girl I just called. I notice the pen ready in one hand and a notebook on the other "Start telling, Numbuh 1"
"ok" I start, I am not really sure where to begin, there is apparently too much happening in this town and at the same time, everything feels so calmed and slow "I met this girl…"
"Uhhh" I got interrupted by my most excitable teammate "Is she pretty?"
"Well, I suppose she is" to be sincere, I haven´t thought of that, I just saw a fellow kid that could be in danger, that´s all.
"Uhhh! I´m telling Lizzie!"
"Numbuh 3, NOOO!" she stays in her place looking so pleased with herself
"I was kidding, dummy" and she giggles covering her mouth. The others seems a little annoyed, I think I saw Numbuh 4 roll his eyes
"So what did ya learn?" Numbuh 5, is good to know she is interested on the mission, I can always rely on her "What´s with this girl"
"At first I thought she was being held against her will but later it became quite obvious she is working for them"
"Who is "them"?" asks numbuh 2 with a low voice
"I am not sure!" haven´t I said that before? "All that matters is that they are bad news" I stop to see if my words are being written down "There is at least 6 of them, if we don't count the 'local kook' of course" I quote the man´s title with my hands and made sure my voice sounds irritated
"Local kook?"
"There is this man who at plain sight looks like an innocent old man but I know there is much more! He knew my name even before I´ve said it" I stop to see if they are following properly, they seem to had heard my words but their reactions are far for what I expected. I sigh "I have come up with some theories that may explain this unusual situation, but all of them seem a little too improbable unless of course he happens to be a great actor"
My team remain silent. I can hear Numbuh 5´s pencil slide on the paper and she repeats my words. Then is silence, I wait for them to contribute to the case
"Maybe he is a wizard"
I can´t believe he could only come up with that
"Numbuh 4! This is no time for jokes!"
"It could be! How else do you explain the know-your-name thingy! Spies?!"
"Yes, That is a possibility" I say a lot more calmed, the least thing I need here is Numbuh 4 getting upset right now, this mission is most likely crucial
"So…" I hear Numbuh 5 saying "who are those 6 you mentioned?"
"2 kids, 2 adults, a teenager, and a guy I don't know where to classify, part of my suspects is a twisted combination between man and child"
"What?"
I ignore Numbuh 3´s confused reaction and continue with my report
"A man they call Ford is most likely to be the leader, then there is Stan, he seems to be pulling the kids strings, I heard him ordering Mabel to get back to 'the tank'…"
"Mabel is that girl isn't she?" asks Numbuh 5, still writing
"Yes, she seems to be a mercenary; apparently she was sent to torture someone called 'The unicorn' just to get rid of a guy named Bill or something… and she informed her leader about our meeting" I made a pause to look at my operatives and decide to ignore their quizzical looks "The boy I don´t know what he does, but he was trying to find some cure on the woods, he was scolded for this... There is also a guy they dislike… Bill, if I recall correctly. I would search for him but better not, he could be risky"
My team looks at me in silence with almost perfect blank expressions
"Don´t get offender, Numbuh 1" says Numbuh 5 putting her pencil down "But all that seems a little too forced" the others mumble in agreement, I hear Numbuh 3 saying something about me going bananas
"Well, since I am the only one taking this whole thing seriously maybe I just move here and let them capture me!" I am too tired of trying to be professional with my team "Because they think I have some alliance with that Bill and are not willing to let me leave tow…WAH!"
I can´t finish my sentence. The last thing I hear from my team is a worried Numbuh 5 calling my name in desperation, then I hear the screen shatter. Right now, I am being held on the ground, I want to look up and see my attackers, but there is someone holding my head down
"Sorry about that, kid" says a friendly voice, still I can sense he is mocking me "We didn´t meant to startle you, but we could allow you to use those funny looking guns of your, right?" I know h is smiling and that bothers me , he doesn´t sound ironic or cruel like, for say, the delightful children, he sound genuinely pleased. I must escape! I know my team will come to my aid but I must meet them on a safe place, far from this people and their treacherous ways
"This one is a little wiggly, isn´t he" chuckles the man "We better tide him up! Who´s got the ropes?"
"Schmerbulock" answers another
"Oh" says him a little unamused "Well, get started!"
I feel my arms being pinned and tide against my back, they tide up my legs with a strong rope, when they are finished, they roll me on my back, Good! I want to see their fa… WHAT? GNOMES?
"Hey, we didn´t meant to be too rough but deer-boy is offering something we can ignores" Is he an actual an real gnome?! Like the ones old people place on their yards? But this one is actually moving and breathing! I am surely surprised but most than all, angry… and who is this 'dear boy' huh?
"I am Jeff" he says offering me his hand and a smile. I keep struggling to free myself, but the more I fight, the more thigh the ropes gets. I hear Jeff sight tiredly
"You are not coming willingly, are you?" he exclaims and his shoulders drop "Sorry to hear that… knock his lights out, Steve!"
And that´s the last thing I hear.
:::::
I can´t see a thing, those weirdos had blind folded me. Still my training allows me to notice somethings about the place I am in, it seems I have been placed on a wooden table, it means they are not planning to dissect me, that would be a very stupid thing to do on a table like this. Is funny how this people think they can keep me here for long! I am a highly trained KND operative! I can easily get out of this and I certainly would. I am half way through getting my bonds lose. I have to be careful, I am not alone in the room
"We already paid you! What else do you want?!" I can tell that the boy is frustrated by the tone in his voice
"You trick me, Deer –boy, we agreed on 200 berry pies!" So Dear-boy is that Dipper guy, huh? I wonder what kind of work he does to have gain that ridiculous nickname. Is he something like the Delightful Children? I would figure it out soon enough, I suppose
"WE DON´T HAVE 200 PIES!"
"Too bad! I guess we can always take baldy here and go!" I defiantly have to hurry, but if I work faster, they would notice. The boy sighs
"Look, Jeff, I can give you the ten pies we have now and brought you guys one very day from the Greasy´s , what do you said?" Sound like a fair trade, I would honestly consider it
"Are you nuts?! Everything that woman cooks taste like catnip! I have another idea, we take your ten pies and you have to get us a new bride!"
"What? Forget it! Where Am I supposed to get that?!"
"We can always ask your sister! She accepted becoming my queen once!"
"NO SHE DIDN´T , SHE TRICKED YOU!"
I have neither the time nor the will to listen to this crazy affairs, It remains me a little of that time Numbuh 3 almost got married to King Sandy… except that this may actually be king of the gnomes for all I know. I am finally free, but have to wait till is safe to jump and run
"We want a Queen, boy, and we shall get one!"
"So go get her somewhere else!"
They are both quiet now. I slip one hand out and got ready to untie my feet bonds as fast as I can
"You, now" says the gnome a lot calmer now "You look awfully a lot like your sister, Wouldn't you like to become a queen? You will have to wear a wig and pretend to be girl of course"
"Ok, that´s it, off you go!" I can hear them discussing as their voices get lower and lower as they get farer from where I am . When I consider is safe enough I act. With a quick movement I am free and ready to escape, but I won't do that, first I have to get to the bottom of this and discover their evil adult plot I am sure they have, bringing me here must be the dumbest thing they could do. The first thing I do after taking the blind fold off is study my surroundings. I must have been out for a while, is a lot darker than when I got kidnapped… it looks a lot like a regular kitchen, but I am not to be fooled, I know that toaster can blow out any second now .
I run for it. I know I have to be careful but also very fast, I move graciously through the floor and avoid every object that could fall and alert my captors. I need to find a weapon but my problem is I don't know where to look, I never expect this place to look so… normal. I have reached a hall, I am running to the stairs. Unfortunately, I never reach them.
I´ve been tackled for the second time in the day, this is getting old. This time however there is no gang of crazy gnomes holding me against the ground, but a larger person. She is a teenager for what I can see, she is tall and lean and her arms, hands, hands and face are hidden from sight, still I can see the long red hair that falls from her hoody. I try to fight for my freedom, but she is a lot stronger that what I expected, still I can connect a kick or two
"Sorry, Kid, ouch, cut it out!" she says. I am very surprised she hasn´t treat me, her voice is calm and almost friendly but teasing "Is nothing personal, we just need to ask you something!"
I put all my strength in my next movement and kick her on the gut, the sound she makes is almost dog like. I take advantage of her distraction and set one of my hands free. I take a curl of her hair and pull it trying to subdue her, it only leaves me with a bunch of red hair on my hand. The only think I can do know is put all my might on a punch that manages to throw that ridiculous mask off of her face. She whimpers and then growls, then slowly she turns her face around to face me again. I see her with astonishment: she looks like a wolf; all covered in hair and big sharp teeth that treats me with a painful bite that may come at any moment now. She roars an snaps. I have to admit is intimidating, I don´t like the way her fangs peak out her snout or how her fur has tensed. Having no weapon to defend myself with, I wait for a blow… but it doesn´t come
"Calm down, dong! He is just a kid!" I rise my sight and see a large man with a baseball cap holding her back. He seems to have a strong hold but he is struggling anyway, she would be free any second now
"Let me get ´im, Soos!" she growls, and kicks "I just want to tear him apart!"
"MR. PINES!" yells the… man with a desperate cracking voice "MR. PINES I THNKS THERE IS FULL MOON TONIGHT!"
"HOT BELGAN WAFFLES! WE HAVE TO GET THAT KID LOCK UP NOW!" answers a cracking voice from inside the house "KIDS, WHERE ARE MY KEYS?"
I have to take advantage of this opportunity and run for it. I spot the door behind my attacker and decide to risk everything to get there. The wolf-girl is still watching me, but apparently they need me unharmed, otherwise, the funny looking man would have set her free already. I am not really thinking, I just run, jump , and slide and find myself at the door, so close to freedom and away from that creature they may keep as a pet. I have to tell my team I am fine, I need them to come here and fight alongside me, we still have to find that machine and destroy it!
The door opens before I could even touch the knob, the creature I find is not as terrifying as the girl, but a lot more confusing. there stand a sort of a Centaurus, except he is part deer instead of horse, two little fawn ears peak out from his brown hair and his head is covered with bandages, his eyes look at me in a mixture of confusion and tiredness
"What the…?" he exclaims in disbelief, his question doesn´t get to be completed as I notice his ears falling aback and his eyes getting bigger. I could swear I see shiver running down his spine as he turns to see what happens back inside
"RUN, DIPPER!" shouts the man "IT´ILL BE ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS! RUN!"
And he does. I see his lean little legs almost slip on the hurry and I hear the sound of his hoofs as the runs in terror. This is when the wolf- girl gets loose and I run as fast as my legs allow me to. luckily, she goes after the boy, I suppose she smelled his fear. I am not sorry for him, I can only look for myself right now. Gotta get out of this place, gotta go to somewhere safe.
:::::
I feel like I have been running for hours. The adrenaline is starting to wear off. Fear and exhaustion are starting to take over my body. I don't know if I am being followed or if I have ran pointlessly for the last minutes. I feel like there is someone behind me, but every time I turn around, all I see the empty road behind me. This is what upsets me the most.
I have reach to what seems to be downtown and it appears to be empty; all calmed and desolated; the only thing that breaks the silence is the wind whispering on my ears. I am shaking , isn´t this supposed to be summer? Why is it cold then?! I need to find shelter soon not only to keep myself warmer, but here on the open I am be an easy target… night would be here soon, and this place is already creepy by the day.
I see a car parked outside a newspaper office, it looks as abandoned as the rest of this stupid place but if I walk toward it carefully, trying not to drive the attention to me just in case anyone is guarding it. If I can open it, I could use it as a shelter until tomorrow morning, it would be a terrible mistake to spend the night outside in a town that has wolf people and boy/ deer mixture thing… Suddenly the nickname the gnome used has sense.
When I get to the car I hide behind it and catch my breath. I am gasping and shaking. My hands are still marked by the bonds that tied me before; I don´t check my legs, but I know they are as well. But there is no time to be lost, I check my pockets, sleeves and shoes for a paperclip of something that could help me but there is none, this people took away everything I could use; I curse them under my breath and it takes all my willpower not to hit the car in frustration, I can´t drive the attention to me, I can´t risk it. I feel helpless and lost. The sun is already down and is getting darker, the street lights are turning on, some of them flick while others don´t light up at all. This feels like a horror movie, but I am not scared, I refuse to be. I am just mad.
"Oh, Hello" greets me a calm voice an I jumped at its sound, I reach for my gun by reflex and remember that is there no more "Are you lost, boy? Maybe I can help you"
I look up and find the sight of a perfectly normal man. He has this white shirt and black tie around his neck. Big dark eyes look directly at me as he offers a friendly smile. He is so common and average it almost feels out of place.
"Are you hungry?" He says and searches inside a briefcase "here, Have some bread"
I took the food on my hand for some reason, I don´t think is poisoned, and this guy seems friendly even for an adult. I bit it, then I realize I am starving. I shouldn't but I eat it anyway. I have my last meal hours ago and I need energy to keep running and hiding from that people, I know they are looking for me. Maybe I am being paranoid, but I swear I hear a hair rising roar not so far away. I need to find a hiding spot right now, if I stay here, they would catch me again and right now I feel too weak and defenseless. The normal man must have notice my distress, he is asking me to calm down. I try. There is a loud sound on the other side of the car, like stone falling heavy on the road. I want to peak and see what is it… but in my current condition is too risky.
"Move aside, Strange" groans a voice I recognize "I know the kid is here"
"Hello, Stanford!" answers the man unmoved, his voice is still calmed friendly "I didn´t know the boy was with you" he looks at me smiling but it drops the moment I shake my head. I hope he gets the message. .I feel like a traitor seeking for a random adults help, but until I get my stuff back I won´t risk they sending their pet after me
"The kid looks quite scare, why don´t you…."
I heard a loud stomp on the ground and a swift wind crosses the street. I know the man is closer, I can feel it, he makes me nervous… I can´t understand why, I am highly trained to take down any enemy, he shouldn´t be different.
"I like you, Tad" continues the man, this time calmer, but still intimidating "You are a great guy and all, but that brat is making my family nervous! I can let him wander around without knowing who or what he is!"
I can feel him close to me, and I take that as an opportunity to attack. unfortunately, the only thing I could use as a weapon is a useless rock I found under the car I am using as a shield. I will use it as a distraction, hit hard and quick and run away as fast as possible. It should be enough, besides, I have no other choice, with no weapons or team, any other idea could end in my capture. I jump to be on top of the red car, I throw, hard and precise, I am sure my rock will hit its target. I do it without thinking nor looking. When I finally realize what had happen and what my enemy is, I am too started to continue as planned.
There, in front of the bread handing man is a winged creature made of rock, his long sharp claws scrapes his tie, menacing. Yet the man shows no fear he just keeps his arms up as a sign of peace, I believe. The rock connects with the monsters cheek, and it moves his glasses slightly. He turns around and I am suddenly looking into his piercing golden eyes. And they are nothing like Father´s, those are angry, impatient, explosive… arrogant. These, on the other hand can only be described as protective… and mad… really mad. I know he didn´t appreciate being hit on the face by a kid, even when I can tell he barely felt it.
"There you are" he says drily. I have no time or will to understand his motives, I just run. "No, don´t go! KID!" and he growls. The last thing I hear before forcing my way on a store is him telling the man to stay away from the river along with the word "Never change" it disgust me that he take the time to make a joke.
Is getting darker. Darker and darker with every minute that passes. I know he is out there, I heard his wings flapping and the crushing sound he made when he lands on the roof. He is still there, guarding the door, waiting to attack. Like a beast on hunting. I refuse to be scare, I have seen many weird things in my life as a KND operative! Vampires, Pirates, homework eating weredogs! A fire throwing man with a lot of issues and his perfect and evil children even! The things I have seen here shouldn´t scare me at all, specially a menacing gargoyle wanting to capture me and take me to whoever "Mr. Pines" is! My guess is he is the boss behind this freak show.
I have been arming myself with all I can find. This is an arcade I got in and I already found a flash light and dismantled 2 old school video games to use their pieces. I hope Numbuh 2 was here, my knowledge is 2X4 technology and weaponry is basic compared to his.
"Wow, Did you seriously made the old man mad?"
I turn to see who ever has talked and found a him resting carelessly on a beam on the wooden celling. The darkness hides him, all I can see is a lean silhouette and a pair of dark yet bright eyes staring playfully at me.
"What did you do? Stole some cheap merchandise from the shack?!" he laughs as it has been the funniest joke ever told. I raise my flashlight and the creature covers his eyes in annoyance due the sudden light. It is some sort of a humanoid panther or something. His fur is dark and silky, over his head, he wears a cap. He hisses at the beginning, but soon enough he finds himself laying over the beam again. His tail waves back and forth and on his lips lays a playful smirk.
A teenager. He cannot be trusted.
Maybe is just the sight of a potential enemy, but the place is getting colder. A shiver travels all the way down in my back and then I understand that teen-cat is not the only one here; someone is hiding on the shadows… plotting and carefully making his way to me. At this point, I would not be surprised if they have any connection to Pines and his twisted circus.
I quickly tied my flashlight to an improvised slingshot, it was all I could made. The video game tokens should serve me good as ammo. I keep my guard up and wait for the other teen to show up. My body tenses as a tall figure appears steps out of the shadow. It´s better take no chances now. I shot it, I don't care what it is
"Ow!" cries with a youthful voice "What´s the deal man?" The other one chuckles
"A little kid got you! You´re so lame dude!"
The newcomer gets closer and the my light is now enough to let me see him properly.
I have no idea what this is. He is tall and lean, his blonde hair is so long, Numbuh 3 would have love to braid it and put flowers in it. His skin, if I can call it that, is blue, like made of ice
"You sound so brave hiding on the beams all the time, Nate!" said the… monster "You should come down and face him like a man!" the mocking tone of his voice tell me he is just joking, still they are considered the enemy! And I never let my guard down near their kind.
"Chill, dude! I would never fight a kid!" But I would certainly fight him. I am sure I can take him down "Especially not a…human"
He says that last word as it was foreign to him. He gets down and stands by the other´s side looking confused. Blue face walks in my direction, slow and steady. His hand reaching for me intending he means no harm. Still it may not be wise to lower my only weapon
"Hey, it´s fine" he says with a smile "we won't hurt you"
I know that! I would never allow it
"Yeah" exclaimed panther boy sounding a bit more hostile "We only want to know where the heck you came from"
I look at the blue boy again, he is now kneeling in front of me. I don't understand how he got that close and why the air feels like needles for the coldness
"No offence, little man" he says "But is been a while since we last saw a normal kid" he quotes the last part with his hands. This leads me to the conclusion of what I have been fearing for the last hour. Every Kid of his creepy town has been experimented on so they would become freak weapons for the adults to use. That way they have either servants or warrior to fight the battle they were supposed to fight themselves. It is so sick. I makes my stomach turn. This two could either be volunteers of the program or grown up victims
"Whoever he is, he is got some guts!" says the other as if he is encouraging me "He´s got Wendy´s boss mad!"
"Cool move, kid! High five!" I ignore his request. I am not to be fooled by their giggles and their smiles, ugh!
"Stay back, stupid teenager!" I spit out. The teen frowns
"Maybe he just impressed Mr. Pines with his cheerful personality"
Hearing the name makes gives me goosebumps. That gargoyle creatures is the infamous Mr. Pines and these dumb teenagers must be two of his workers. I have to find a way out! The front door is obviously not safe, I have to find must be another way. I can only come up with a risky plan, still better than nothing
"All right, freaks!" I said after jumping and landing on the tall one´s shoulders "One suspicious move and blue-boy here gets his mouth full with tokens!"
"Dude, you tried that before it didn't work"
"Silence, Creep! " I am not to be intimidated with their remarks, no matter if they are correct of not "I need some information! Who are you? How did you got turned into creepy freaks? Who is…"
I shut up in the middle of my question due to surprised. The blonde guy raises his hand not minding my questions nor weapon and uninterested he touches the rubber band with his blue finger. Almost immediately it freezes, then breaks dismantling my slightshot.
"WHAT?" I shout and the surprise makes me fall on my back
"Look kid, you shouldn't be here" says the other one
I am ready to run as soon as I get on my feet. The front door is still my only feasible option. I have a lot to lose, but if I made it out alive, I can contact my team and together we can get this mad place down. I run and dare not to look back. The Teen creeps don´t follow me, they just observed me from behind. I made it outside, the night is dark and lonely. Only a few feet outside and I am being held by the back of my sweater. This is how I find myself being carried away in a gargoyle´s claws across the sky.
:::
I must have passed out during the flight. Complete darkness greets me first upon my wakening but there is no blind fold this time, neither there are bonds tiding my hands or legs, but a pair of handcuffs keep me chained to something. I turned around and find a set of long white fangs grinning at me. I recognized them as soon as I see them, the only thing I can do is try cover my face defensibly .I look away, but only find a pair of golden glowing eyes watching me, once my eyes get use to the darkness, I can see his body being covered by his big wings.
"Hey, dude!" says the wolf-girl catching my attention once again "Sorry about earlier, I loss myself on nights like this" she smiles and offers me a fist bump "No hard feelings?"
She must be mental if she thinks I would accept her questionably friendly offer. She is one of those mutant experiment working for an evil adult organization! How can I trust her?! Besides, is hard to greet someone so carelessly once they tried to eat you alive.
"Don´t be scared" she says. I am not scared… maybe a little startled. "I´m not going to attack anyone, Mr. Pines´ brother gave me a shot that would keep me calmed for a while"
"WHAT?" yell the gargoyle losing all his cool. I hear him moving, walking furiously outside the room "YOU CAN´T JUST DRUG THE KIDS, STANFORD!" He goes, but I can still hear his yells and discussion with who I assume is his brother
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?! She was beyond herself and a tread" answers a more deep voice. I notice their steps coming back, they would cross the door soon. I need an escape plan quick. I don´t want to be a subject to a twisted experiment. I refuse to be one of them.
"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING THEM HOME SAFE!" the other one keeps yelling. His voice mixed with the growls keep my mind thinking straight, I wish he stops "WHEN YOU SAID YOU 'GOT IT' I THOUGH YOU…"
"I DID WHAT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP DIPPER SAFE!" snaps the brother. His words are enough to keep the whole building on silence for a few seconds "Besides, the girl will be fine! I have PhD on chemistry that qualifies me to handle drugs… I think"
This is the moment when the two of them enter the room. The 'Standford' one comes in crawling in all fours. He is one of those lion/ eagle creatures that I forgot what they are called. He looks strong and almost poised, big winds at his back. I guess I should feel a lot more intimidated with his presence, but I´ve seen a lot of nonsense today and nothing will be ever a surprise.
"Well, let´s see what we got here" he says once he is sitting right in front of me. Suddenly I am assaulted with a bright light pointed directly to my eyes. I hiss with discomfort "He is not possessed, we already knew that but better safe than sorry, right?"
He makes a gesture with the hand and the lights of the room are suddenly turned on. This is when I can see him properly, he is covered in sandy fur, messy hair and a pair of cracked glasses upon his eyes. He smiles.
"Sorry about the whole handcuff thing, kid" he say condescending, like I was a helpless scared boy. I have the urge to punch him on the face, but I am forced to hold back at the moment. He frowns, apparently he has noticed my annoyance
"Is it ok to chain a boy to a thermostat? This dimension got very confusing in the last 30 years…"
The 'man' is delusional. 'This dimension' yeah right! it is impossible to travel between realities. The Kids Next Door have been trying for generations and every fail had only enforce the fact that It cannot be done, no matter how Numbuh 2 wants it. Maybe madness is a side effect of the mutations this people had expose themselves to. Or maybe they were already crazy, how else would they do 'that' to themselves?
"Listed, boy, we don't want any problems" continues the winged lion "All we want is you to tell us your business and we would let you go"
"Yeah" interferes the gargoyle "your family must be worried…"
"oh, please!" I can´t keep quiet anymore, this people´s fake sympathy gets into my nerves "Like I didn´t know you would turn me into one of yours as soon as I get my guard down"
"What? No!" exclaims the creature in front of me, his feline eyes got bigger with surprise "We only need to know your purpose here! Where have you came from!" His voice is getting more and more unfriendly, if it push a little further, I will break his 'good guy' cover
"I was sent here to destroy your plans" I say with a proud smirk on my face. They look at me with curiosity and I notice glance shared between the brothers. I hear a sort of clicking sound behind me. I turn around I find that deer- boy looking at my with in anger, his breathing is heavy and I can almost see fire on his eyes. More importantly, he is holding a real crossbow which is dangerously pointed to my face
"Who… sent… you?" he asks slowly and almost in a whisper. This is the first time I consider a deer a treat, I really wish that thing has the safe on
"ANSWER ME!" he yells at the top of his lungs "ARE… ARE YOU WORKING WITH HIM? DID… DID HE PROMISED YOU SOMETHIG?"
I tremble as fear slowly claims my mind, I know that if he shots, there would be blood… lots of it. Lucky for me, the boy hesitates.
"Dipper!" calls the winged lion trying to get his attention "He is not possessed! You have to calm down"
"HE CAN STILL BE WORKING WITH HIM, GREAT UNCLE FORD!" he is shaking. His hand is firmly grabbing the trigger. I close my eyes and bite my tongue waiting for the worse. I wonder if I would feel any pain.
"Wow, relax, bro-bro!" I recognize the voice. Slowly I open my eyes and see her on her wheel chair holding back the boy "it´s ok" and then she takes the crossbow away from him and without taking her eyes away from him, she tosses it back, the safe goes off and the arrow breaks a window, but aside the red haired wolf, nobody seems to mind, and she herself doesn´t make a big fuzz about it, she just got up and state she would take it to 'somewhere safe'. The half-deer kid drops himself on the floor and a long tired sight leaves his mouth. He never let go of Mabel hand "Better?" she asks and he nods.
"Sorry about that" says the girl facing me with a big bright smile. "We have some problems with a… person, and my brother is very paranoid about it"
Of course! This is how they got the boy into this whole mess! They must have promised him they would help him with this Bill (because is obviously him) on exchange of testing their mutation machine of him! Mabel seems close to her brother, maybe that´s why she is here too . It´s getting a lot clearer now!
"look" she says "I know we didn´t treat you exactly like civilized people, but we only want to know what do you want here. I know this is just one huge misunderstanding"
I hesitated. These kids may be being used, but I don´t trust them more than an hour ago, especially with a cruddy gargoyle and a winged lion thing present watching out every move. Mabel waits for an answer, she would have to wait for it. If they get to know who I am and what my mission is, they would turn me into a half pig, half crab thing… I know they will do it any way. I need to get out of this place.
I hear the gargoyle growling. He raises his gaze and walks across the room to the door like there was something calling him. He doesn't stop, even when both Mabel and Dipper call for him
"Grunkle Stan?" says the worried voice of the girl. I am sticking to the theory of them not being actually related to this men but use the term as a sigh of respect, just like Father calls himself. I refuse to think a man who would do this to his own blood.
"Is ok" he answers but doesn´t stop walking. He is surprisely silent for a rock being "You keep an eye on the brat, k?" and he leaves. Mabel is calling for him
"But grunkle Sta…"
She cannot continue. Another asthma attack comes and forces her to grasp for air. I wonder If they even realize how delicate her condition may be, so far I haven't seen an inhaler or any medicine.
"You´ve been out for too long" says the half deer boy who has suddenly transformed from paranoid wimp to protective brother
"I´m fine!" claims her a little too loud and with a raspy voice. She is forcing a smile no one buys. The lion man steps closer to the kids. My body is tensed up in anticipation of some cruel treatment
"Dipper is right!" says him strongly "You need to get back there"
Without stop coughing she offers him her little arms in resignation. He takes her by the armpits and raises her quickly. The blanket falls off. I see in shock the shiny fish tail that she has instead of legs. She is a mermaid. She is one of them. What a disappointment! I really wanted her to be normal.
The lion-man carries her to a big fish tank placed in front of me. I don´t understand how I haven´t notice it. He drops her and she takes a big gulp of water as if was air and return to the top of the tank. Her wet hair is dripping on the floor and she smiles brightly and big
"Thanks , Grunkle Ford!"
I have accept the fact she is another experiment subject. Yet I am confused of her attitude. Her façade is down, there is no reason for keep that dumb smile on her face. She is looking at me like nothing had change at all.
"Sorry about that. I need to be on water but I like to move around. Dipper and Grunkle Ford are working on something for me but is not ready yet"
The boy looks like he wants to said something but decide better to remain silent. He shakes his head and takes out his vest a notebook and a pen and starts scribing. I am trying to be discrete, I want to see if he is writing something about me.
A high pitched scream sends a cold shiver all over my body. I recognized it. My eyes go wide and my voice is ready to shout her name when another scream comes as surprising as the other
"WHAT THE CRUD IS THIS!?" I am glad they came for me. But they should have waited for instructions.
That man-child with the question mark in his shirt comes short after into the room. Numbuh 3´s leg is morphed into his and Numbuh 4´s fist is lost between what I thinks is the fat of his big belly. I cannot tell who is more shocked of the three.
"DUDES!" cries the man "I DON´T KNOW WHAT´S HAPPENING! I CAN GET THEM OFF! MY BODY KEEPS COVERING THEM!" he is sweating and breathing hard
"THE BOY IS TOUCHING MY INSIDES!" this time both him and Numbuh 4 scream in terror. Numbuh 3 just keeps waving her arms in hysteria. It is clear they did not expect this… sticky situation. They can´t be blamed, I didn´t expected this either. The lion-man is soon on the case
"Soos, calm down!" he told him getting closer slowly "your body is just reacting to an alien agent! Is just defending itself by assimilating the intruder, Nothing to worry about!"
All three stop their screaming and waving just to look at the creature in disbelief for a brief second. Then the screams return even louder. Their voices mix and is difficult to tell what are they yelling
"I DON´T WANT TO HAVE KID ON MY BODY!"
"TAKE MY HAND OUT THIS CRUD! I NEED MY HAND!"
"WAAH, I DON´T WANT TO BE PART OF THE FAT MAN!"
They are getting on my nerves. Their screams and crying only make the situation worse. I am literally tided up and these pair just keeps weeping
"NUMBUHS 3 AND 4! WOULD YOU SHUT UP!"
I have snapped. They look at me surprise. They are all quiet now
"I HAVE GONE TROUGHT A LOT HERE AND YOU JUST CAME AND FREAK OUT OVER A… A… WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? A CLAY MONSTER?" I think someone says yes, but I pay no attention to it, so much for keeping it cool, this whole town is messed up.
"But Numbuh 1!" says Wally "Its fat just attacked my fist!"
"Yeah, how were we supposed to know that it would… is that a mermaid?" Numbuh 3 forces all them to move closer to the tank that contains Mabel and jumps on excitement just by looking at her
"She is so pretty!" and the other girl giggles
"Name´s Mabel" she offer a hand and Numbuh 3 takes it with no hesitation. Cuteness would be the doom of this girl- Fortunately Mabel seems to have no plans of drowning her or anything like that
"I am Kuki!" she says excited, as she has just meet a super star. Numbuh 4 complains out loud.
A heavy stomp is heard just outside. The large gargoyle comes into sight and he throws two people on the floor, Numbuh 2 and 5. This is it. They were our only hope and now we are all captured.
"These two brats were around the Shack. They had funny looking guns but they are destroyed"
"Wow" I hear numbuh´s 4 voice "A real gargoyle… That´s so cool!" and in his excitement he gets his face into the body that has him captive. His muffled screams and desperate movements makes us all nervous. If no one gets him out of there soon, he would suffocate to death. The man tries to push him out but his hands starts covering the top and back of his head. I feel useless. There is nothing I can do with both my hands chained to a heater. The rest of my team is too astonished to act. Still maybe their help would only make things worse.
At the end, it is the Gargoyle himself who frees Numbuh 4 of his prison. He takes him by the head and pulls it back with force. He is soon free and coughing for air on the floor.
"WHAT THE CRUD?! I WANNA LEAVE NOW!"
"Unfortunately that´s not possible now" says the one they call Ford. He is walking around the room looking at us all with questioning eyes. I expect a strike soon
"Cool! a sphinx!" says Numbuh 2 who had been quiet to this point. So that what those are called.
That guy Dipper had help Numbuh 3 out of the mess that man is. She is now trying to get the clay out of her hair. She is a mess. She cries about it like it is a global tragedy. Numbuh 4 got it a lot worse and I don´t see crying like a baby about this. He is just disgusted and possibly traumatized by what he just lived. Clearly those two are of little help at the moment I would have to rely on Numbuhs 2 and 5.
It seems like she´s got the same realization than me. I see my second in command move slowly and with all precautions. We are weaponless, but our training will come on handy. We are not helpless children! No adult nor teenagers or evil kid would ever keep us from our freedom and right to do what kids do. I see her, she is smart and cautions, I look at her movement and realized what she is trying to do: Take the gun the sphinx carries around so caressly. She is taking advantage of the situation, the creature is now exanimating Numbuh 2´s eyes, then he proceeds to check his 'well-being' in general. I think he is checking if he would be a good experiment subject. I feel my blood boil, I would never let them do anything to my team!
But no matter how angry I am right now, there is little I can do at the moment. My eyes catch Numbuh 5´s and her face tells me everything I need to know. I have to help her with all my resources.
"Oh, look at the big bad gargoyle!" I shout sarcastically "Taking little defenseless kids into his dreadful shack against their will"
He turn to see me and fixes the glasses I haven´t realized he had. He releases an annoyed sight
"Look, kid" he says rolling his eyes "Is nothing personal, is just what I do!"
"Oh!" I exclaim seeing an opportunity "So that´s all what you are? A mere henchman who does the dirty work!"
"I keep my home safe!" he cries a little louder. I look carefully over his shoulder, Numbuh 5 is almost there "I'm a gargoyle, that´s what I do!"
"Yeah, right! And since I am a boy I must dance happily with the spring flowers, eh?"
"What you do with your free time is not my business, kid" I was not expecting that answer "it´s been a horrible day and I am this close to punch someone . So save your bratty tantrum for someone else!"
"I bet I can take you down, old man!" I know I am no match for him right now, with no weapons at hand, but if I can get him to release me I could run back to my team's ship and ask Global Command for help
"What?!" that´s all he says raising a skeptical eyebrow
"Yeah! You are nothing more than a pathetic bad carved rock who fetches little innocent children for some evil experiment" He is walking toward me, I think I have done it! He has fallen on my trap "You sad excuse of a monster… you … you.. are not a tr…a…a treat for anyone… dumb creature…" My voice wasn´t supposed to crack, he is standing right in front of me. This is the first time I really how big he really is. I have to keep it cool. He would set me free any moment now and that´s would be my chance to save my team. I feel his cold, rough hands take me by the arms. He lifts me and the heater along with ease and takes me to a corner. There he leaves me on the floor again. I am facing a wall.
"That´s enough, boy" he scold me "You are grounded!"
I want to reply him, but words escape me. All this is unfamiliar to me. It´s been years since I stood before an adult without kicking his butt. Yet this monster sends chills to my back and grounds me like I was his kid! No adult, besides my parents have done that! Those who had tried have met my hunger for justice! But he has come and done it… and I don't understand. Maybe is his impossible height or the way his eyes glow behind the glasses, or the way he has of moving quickly over the floor… What´s the deal about it anyway? He is clearly made of rock! He is supposed to be slow and heavy! Anyway, I dare not to move, but that doesn´t mean I have accept my fate. I am just being cautious. I can hear his wings moving and it upsets me. I think I have win another enemy. and he is worthy.
"Wasn´t the thermostat attached to the wall?" I hear the deer-boy asking, he gets a series of affirmative answers and an annoyed growl from the sphinx, I believe. He hasn´t talk much since my team so valiantly decided to rescue me. Now, he is ordering people around
"Dipper!" he calls "Go fetch McGucket, tell him we need him… This children should not be here"
"Yes, great uncle Ford" answers the boy and I hear him trot away.
A surprised gasp catches my full attention and forces me to look back. Numbuh 5 has done right and got the gun
"All right, fuzzy man!" she yells with authority "Set my friends free and I may let you go unharmed"
"That´s a dangerous gun, kid, hand it over" he looks calm as he gets closer to her, she steps back once, her face full of determination
"Numbuh 5 doesn´t takes orders from you, creep!" and her hold on the gun gets stronger, but she is sure and shows no fear. I knew she would get us out of this mess
"You have no idea of what you got on your hands! That technology is not from this world!"
"You won't trick me, old man!" she exclaims almost in mockery "You just want to distract Numbuh 5… NOW, ONE STEP CLOSER AND I'LL SHOOT!"
"HAND IT OVER, CHILD!" yells the sphinx man ready to pounce her, she is ready to shoot, her determination is noticeable. I watch the gargoyle´s body tense up
"I want you and your freaks to set my friend free and let us go on 3…"
"Girl" he gets closer
"…two…"
"Don´t do this, you don't know what are you…"
"THREE!"
A blue beam is released from the gun but it misses its target for the gargoyle had been fast and save the other monster for being hit. He has thrown Numbuh 5 on the floor and roars at her face causing all in the room to remain quiet and still in both surprise and shock. Numbuh 5 shakes and the rock monster shows his long teeth. I fear for her, I wonder if he would dare to eat her. Then my mind is taken off this terrible thoughts as I hear a loud shriek
"SOOS!" screams Mabel and Numbuh 3 gasps in horror. I turn my attention to where they are and see the large clay man wears now a hole in his gut.
"It´s ok, dude" he says trying to be calm "Is not the first time I lose part of my body, It would grow back… it really hurt, though… I… I think I´m gonna pass out"
And so, he hits the floor.
Numbuh 4 is shaking violently
"WHAT THE CRUD?" and he throws up in the first bin like thing he can reach. There is no blood or flesh to be seen, still the image is disgusting.
"It´s a real gun…" Numbuh 5´s voice sounds in a whisper "It is an actual gun"
The Gargoyle moves and allows her to stand up. She tries to do it too fast and nearly falls back. Ironically, the same hand that keep her pinned to the floor seconds ago, is now helping her to stand
"Well, yes" answers the sphinx " what were you expecting?"
"ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY?" she starts yelling "I COULD HAVE KILL SOMEBODY" she walks around the room throwing her arms and saying things like 'unbelievable' and 'nuts' to herself, then she turn to face me. I have no idea of how to react
"You were right Numbuh 1" she says clearly upset "This people have completely lost it! With the monsters and the gun!.." and then she proceeds to yell other stuff as she walks around. I think the idea of could have kill a person hit her hard. I am in shock myself, I never expect the sphinx not to attend to her demands. He is clearly crazy.
"Mmm, Mr. Sphinx, sir" call Numbuh 2 shyly, the monster turns to see him "Sorry but we are kids next door operatives who came here to spy on you and stop… you …from whatever evil thing you are… doing"
"You can´t tell ´em why we are here!" bust out Numbuh 4 who still a little pale and keeps the bin close to him "We are on a secret mission!"
"Numbuh 1 was on a secret mission till he got capture!" Numbuh 5 is clearly mad
"Yeah!" exclaims Numbuh 3 "I was going to watch the "Rainbow Monkey stravaganzza" on TV but instead we are here TRAPPED"
Numbuh 5 sights and shakes her head, I want to believe she has calm down
"As annoyed and mad we are now, Numbuh 5 thinks is important to recognize that Numbuh 1 was right, there is some crazy stuff going on here…"
"Wait, right about what? What are the Kids Next Door?"
I turn to see the sphinx directly in the eye. I am unable to stand up, so instead of that I just sit straight feeling all mighty and sure of myself. I cannot show weakness. I have to show what are we made of… what I am made of: desire of justice and all the intention in the world to protect our kind from horrible villains like these I have encounter today. I am not afraid. I must not be.
"We are the Kids Next Door! A Global organization of children with the sole purpose of stopping evil adults and their twisted plans of…"
"HOWDY THERE, LITTLE BALDY!"
I have no idea where this crazy old man keeps coming from! His sudden greeting had started me so much I almost jumped several feet away the floor, but the chains stopped me. They did nothing, however, to keep me from yelping.
"Well, seems you have been snooping around, pal!" and he circles me with his quick animal like movements, I wonder if he too is an experiment "You should go when you were told but I guess kid won´t listen to the elders" and he stands there grinning like an idiot. I hear a throat being cleared and direct my attention to the sphinx
"Fiddleford?" he asks with caution "Did Dipper told you why are you here?"
The old skinny man face becomes gloom and his shoulders drop even more. A slight shake of his head comes along his answers
"The kid just said I was needed. I … I already knew"
This is it. This monsters are turning us into their own, it is clear this kook is essential for the transformation, maybe he is the evil scientist behind the whole project. I look at my team; Numbuhs 3 and 4 have calmed down and seem like waiting for my command to attack our kidnappers, still they have walk a couple of steps away the clay man who lies unconscious on the floor. The enemy would unchain me to take me to the transformations chamber, and when they do, I´ll fight, and my team alongside me. Old crazy man gets closer to me. I see no key on his hand but I suppose he carries it on his pocket. I get ready to shout an order, my team is as ready as I am. I feel two pair of firm hands gripping my shoulders and I jump with surprise. The old man is grabbing me and his eyes look pleading
"Whatever happens, boy, do not do it! They would tell you is the right thing, they would tell you we are a disease, but they are close minded and have gone bananas! Do not unleash it! Do not stick your sticky booger on that thingy… Please" there is an urgency on his voice that that makes me nervous and I don´t understand why. This man… I don't like this one either, he makes no sense when talking and speaks in riddles. Only he must understand himself.
"Hey! Put me down you furry-nerdy-lion!" Numbuh 4 kicks and punches the air as the sphinx takes him carefully on his jaws, like he was a cub, and carries him all the way to where I am. I look for the rest of my team. The gargoyle has taken Numbuh 5 over his shoulder
"Don't kick me, kiddo" he says unmoved "you´ll hurt yourself"
Numbuh 2 tries to run. He moves fast enough and gets o of the room with no one stopping him. For a moment I get my hopes high, but they drop as soon as I hear him scream. Soon the she-wolf comes into the room dragging him through the floor like a rag doll. He tries to hold on it with nothing but his nails
"Hey, Stan!" she calls raising my friend with just one hand "Did you miss something?" and she throws him to the gargoyle, who catches him easily and forces him to sit down right next to Numbuh 4 who keeps yelling and trying to hit something even with both his hands tied up. Is all up to Numbuh 3.
I really want to be optimist about the situation, she had save us single handed before but we have never been on a situation like this: Weaponless, uncommunicated, lost in the middle of a strange town and to the mercy of creatures that are a lot stronger and dangerous that our usual enemies. The most terrifying thing about this people is how neutral seem about this. They didn't knew who we are, it seems like they didn´t even cared! This is definitely not personal, there is no grunge of revenge desire, and makes it a lot more scary in my opinion.
Useless is to say that things haven´t gone right with Numbuh 3; that Dipper boy blows something to her face and drops into the floor. We all found ourselves calling her name in worry. She is awake, but claims she cannot move. The boy takes an old red book out of his vest and opens it on a marked page
"Deep end mushrooms" he read out-loud "Combined with mermaid scales they could paralyze a large bear for at least 10 minutes… Well, is a good thing Mabel is shedding"
"That girl has a part of me on her face!" says the mermaid and she splashes all over the floor in over-excitement
"if that´s the case" says the sphinx "you´ll be fine in a moment… I think" and then he takes her to where we are and chains her foot to the heater as well, just in case, he says.
Numbuh 4 keeps yelling, kicking and complaining. With every yell he claims he would not go without a fight; I agree with that, but I wish he would at least go with dignity.
When I look up to our captors I see the sphinx looking at him unsure of how to react. Unsteady he goes back to all fours and gets close to my kicking teammate
"Kid!" he calls barely avoiding his feet "Calm down! We are not going to hurt you! Just… Stop it! Ouch! Are more children out there like this one?!"
Then the gargoyle decides to "rescue" his pal and moving the sphinx aside, he roar loud and powerfully on Numbuh 4´s face. That is enough to shut up only him up, but we all are speechless for a moment
"There you go, Sixer" he says mocking the other monster, whose pride may be a little hurt at the moment
"That was an exaggerated reaction, Stan" the later growls within his teeth and comes face to face with the sphinx
"Look, Ford!" he says irritated "You wanted the brat to shut up and now he is! So suck it up!" and he moves aside. Ford comes to us once again
"I am still the alpha twin though" he says between his teeth and I don´t think he was heard by anyone but us.
"Umm…" says Numbuh 2 catching the creature´s attention "If we are going to turn into crazy monsters, at least I want to choose what I will become"
"Yeah" exclaims Numbuh 4 as if the idea had erased the previous moment out of his head "I want to be something cool! Like a Dragon! Oh! No No No! Better yet, One of those giant Japanese monsters! Fourzilla" and he bounces up and down where he sits, his eyes had grown on anticipation and excitement
"You kids think we will turn you into monsters? "asks that Ford in disbelief. I raise my eyebrow at him, I don´t get why he acts so surprised
"Er, yes" I say slowly "This is what you do, right? You turn innocent children into crazy mutants to take over the world"
They all are looking at us with large wide eyes. I think I see the werewolf smack her hand against her forehead and the half deer let a tired "seriously?" escape his lips
"We are not experiments" says Mabel from her tank catching everyone´s attention "We are cursed"
Now is my turn to be skeptical and shocked. That´s just plain ridiculous, impossible, a joke…
"That makes sense" We all look down Numbuh 3, who lays on the floor, stiff as a plank
"No, Numbuh 3" I say rolling my eyes. The innocence of this girl never ceases to surprise me, it is such that she often passes as dense or simple
"Why not?" she doesn´t move but I can hear the irritation in her voice "What else would it be? What else would explain all this people?"
"An evil adults experiment!" I am almost yelling at her. This is so silly! I didn´t travel all my way here just to find a cursed town! "It has to be it!"
"Don´t feel bad, little fella!" speak loudly the old crazy man "Nobody would think less of you for this!"
I growl in anger. I am starting to lose my patience and the fact that this handcuffs are so tight only makes me hurt my own hands. If these cursed nonsense is actually true and there is no evil adults to stop nor an apocalyptic machine to destroy, then I want to go home and let this all behind. What would I tell Numbuh 362? I almost implore her to let me come here.
"All right, kids" says the gargoyle taking a step closer "Time to say good bye"
Suddenly we are all screaming, yelling, and trying to convince them to spare our lives
"WOW, WOW" exclaims the winged rock monster raising his hands on defeat "We won´t kill you!"
"You´re gonna eat us?" Numbuh 4´s eyes are wider than ever. His voice sound like a strange combination of complete horror and fascination. Knowing him, he must think that would be somehow a cool way to go.
"Sorry to break your heart, boy" answers once again the gargoyle "but we don´t eat human flesh"
"You don´t" asks Numbuh 2, I know we all hope they are not joking
"Of course no!" says the part lion monster "That would be disgusting!"
We all sigh relieved. Some of us even verbalized it. Quite a day this have been!
"We´re taking away your memories" he says shrugging his shoulder in a careless fashion. The only thing my team and I can manage to do is chuckle nervously. I don't know if believe them or not.
"Are you ready, Fiddleford?" says he and walks away from us ignoring our questioning eyes. I see the old man in funny hat sight tiredly and lower his eyes
"Sure I am, Stanford" and he makes a staff appear out of thin air which he point to us. I wonder if this would hurt. " What should I take?"
"Gravity Falls" says Dipper getting closer. He now wears a cap over his head with a pine tree printed on it "Take everything about this town and make them forget it even existed"
He old man look at the other old man for confirmation "Do as he says" they all agree.
While he raises his staff to us, I can see the sorrow on his eyes. Is almost like he doesn´t want to do this. and Part of me wants to ask him not to
"I am sorry, little guys" he whispers with a das smile upon his lips. His eyes glow and strange symbols appear around him. Then, I feel like sleeping…
::::
It would have been a nice, peaceful Saturday morning if only Numbuh 86 haven't call me so early on the morning and asks me to come to Moon Base in such an anger temper. As I walk my way through the place I wonder what could be so important it can wait till noon.
When I arrive, Both Numbuhs 86 and 362 are already waiting for me. One looks irritated while our supreme leader seems only tired.
"Numbuh 362, sir!" I salute and wait for orders. Maybe they would send me to spy Father or something
"Nigel" she calls me almost with doubt "Can you give us your report on your last mission"
"What mission?" I ask complete confused, this last days have been killing us with boredom. If this is some kind of joke or…
"YER STUPID SOLO MISSION YOU INSISTED SO MUCH ON TAKING BECAUSE YOU CLAIMED SOMETHING EVIL WAS HAPPENING ON THAT STUPID TOWN!"
Is not weird to see Numbuh 86 so angry with us field operatives, still is too early in the morning to hear her complaining
"What Town?'" I ask annoyed raising my voice and arms. The two girls look at me like I have lost my mind
"Don´t ye play games with me, Numbuh 1!" and I sigh in tiredness, she always has to be right, but claiming I went to a mission that never happen? Too much even for her
"I don't know what are you two talking about!"
Numbuh 362 searches in her desk and takes a USA map from it. when she shows it to me I realize A small spot in Oregon is marked.
"Gravity Falls" she says "Remember? You claimed that the meteor shower was an impossibility and that the radiation must have come from an evil kids-doom-device. You went on a mission even if it was a waste of time and resources!"
"Yeah!" yells Numbuh 86 "You took 5 big bags of candy even when it was a solo mission! Candy we will never see again! How did you even eat all that, huh?!"
I can barely believe my ears
"Are you trying to blame on me for that candy?!" I ask shocked and they both look me with confusion
"What? Numbuh 1 is not like…"
"don´t try to fool me, Numbuh 362! I expected this from her but you should know better" I am offended! All me and my team had done is be loyal operatives going into missions, real mission! All together! I have never seen those bags of candy!
"I…" she is trying to defend herself. But somehow she looks more confused than exposed or hurt.
"This is a low blow, Ma´am" I admire her determination, even now she doesn't seem regretful nor she accepts the guilt "To blame one of your top operatives for that misplaced candy and making up ridiculous towns and missions" What kind of name was Gravity Falls, anyway?
I walk all my way to the door. When I am about to get out I turn once again to see them looking at each other "If you needed someone to cover you for that disappeared candy, you could just ask, I would be glad to help"
"Numbuh…" But I don´t let her finish. I am still mad at her
"Now is you let me" I say saluting ironically "I must go to my team, we got some real missions and some real places to go" And then I leave.
Unbelievable.
::::
The End
::::
And Now the Notes
1. I love McGucket as a wizard, I have seen many other monster versions of him but that one is by far my favorite! Also I wanted to feature Lee and Nate cause I just like them, and while Ago I saw a fanart about Lee being a Froze gigant and Nate a Panthern like creature for monster Falls and love the idea (specially loved Lee design) I search for the artist blog but It was deleted :(. Still credit to that person.
2. I really want Tad Strange to remain normal even in this AU, is just hilarious.
3. Originally, I would have Numbuh 5 going on the mission but later realized it fit Numbuh 1 better
4.I never inteded to even mention Bill (Love the guy, by the way, one of the best villians out there). But I fell like I need a reason for Stan and Ford to start fighting, so I bring him up, later I notice he was actually an important part of the story even if he wasn´t actually there.
5. Kidnapping Numbuh 1 was all Dipper´s idea (He is not so innocent and you know it)
6. I really wanted Wendy to became wild for a minute, I really hope it doesn´t came up too forced (Blame it on the moon, never fails!)
7. No,Sector V does not remember a thing (Fiddles is that good)
And finally
Thank you so much for reading! If you like KND I have more in my profile and If you like Gravity Falls, Stay tuned, there is more coming (Can´t say when).
I would like to hear from you on the reviews! See you around!
CrackerTales
