She had been coming over every night it seemed. Even though Damon had taken over Elena's introduction to into vampirism, Stefan was there every step of the way, expressing his displeasure and fighting the urges that were becoming almost painful. And she was the only one who knew.
That night when she walked in the door, the bottle of scotch was nearly empty, the one next to it already drained. "Where's Elena?" Caroline asked sitting on the couch next to him.
"With him," Stefan practically spat out but when he looked at her, his blue eyes softened. "I couldn't go with them." He felt defeated and her heart broke looking at him. "The smell," he said, his voice cracking just a bit. "That's the worst part. It makes me think about how good it feels. To feel them in your arms." His face started to change and she knew how desperate he was. Caroline was almost afraid of the way he looked but she knew how Stefan felt. She'd felt that hunger, and the pleasure that came from giving into it. But she'd promised him; she'd promised that she wouldn't let him lose control.
Hesitantly, she lifted her wrist to her mouth and bit the flesh until blood welled up. She offered him her hand and he hesitated for only the briefest of seconds before reaching out. She almost threw her head back from the pleasure. The first time she'd offered herself to him, she'd been at a loss for what to do. He'd been ready to hunt and if he'd gone out, he would have killed someone. She wasn't Lexi. She wasn't strong enough to stop him. So she'd stopped him the only way she knew how. She'd slashed her wrist offering herself to him. Afterwards, he was guilty and ashamed but she'd been happy. She'd been there like she'd promised. And surprisingly, it had felt good. Not like those memories of Damon feeding from her. She could feel Stefan's need. And there was another sensation; joy. When he fed from her, he wasn't the Ripper. He was like a little puppy. Since he knew he couldn't hurt her, he was able to let go and just enjoy himself. Now she stroked his hair as he drank his fill and eventually he pulled away, licking his lips.
"Thank you," he said, politely.
"You don't need to keep thanking me, Stefan," she replied. "I made you a promise."
"When I asked for your help, I didn't mean to make you into my personal blood bag," Stefan said, pouring himself another drink.
Caroline tilted her head to the side with a smile. "I like to think of myself as an extremely willing donor." She held up her wrist which had already healed. "And look. All better." She took the drink Stefan offered and swallowed it down in one gulp. The moments after he fed were always awkward, filled with lots of unspoken feelings. He had tried to explain to her what it meant to share blood with another vampire but actually experiencing it over and over … well it was harder than she thought I would be. Not the actual act, that was wonderful. Almost too good. Feeling Stefan's lips on her skin made her want more. The act was so intimate it was almost embarrassing. She poured another drink and lay her head on his shoulder.
"You're going to be okay, Stefan," she said. Stefan wrapped his arm around her and rested his cheek on her head. Who would have thought that Caroline would be the one helping him through this? He'd meant it when he said that she'd come into herself since becoming a vampire. She was no longer the neurotic, insecure cheerleader he'd first met when he arrived in Mystic Falls. Unconsciously, he ran his fingers through her blonde curls, his hand tracing a line down her arm.
Caroline sank deeper into his arms. There was something comforting about being around Stefan. He was solid and loyal and unlike many of the other men in her life, Stefan had never lied to her or tried to hurt her. And it was nice to return the favor. Sharing blood had brought them closer and even though she felt they were treading into dangerous territory, she didn't want it to end.
She looked up to find that he was already staring down at her. She breathed in slowly. The moment felt so fragile, like it could shatter at any moment. She wanted to reach up and touch his lips. She could remember how they felt on her wrist and just the thought made her skin tingle. Sometimes she thought about him at night when she was lying in bed but she pushed it away as just residual feelings from before; when she was just the prom queen who wanted to have the hot new guy. Stefan was Elena's now, but that was hard to remember when he was staring at her with that same hunger she'd seen earlier in his eyes.
"I should probably go before Damon and Elena get back," she said, pulling away. At the mention of Elena, Stefan seemed to snap back to his senses and he pulled away too, reaching for his glass of scotch.
Caroline stood up and grabbed her jacket from the back of the couch. "See you tomorrow," he called as she walked towards the door.
"Yeah tomorrow," she replied, without turning around. She'd didn't want him to see the disappointment on her face because she'd promised. She'd promised she wouldn't let him lose control.