author's note: I… haven't written fanfiction in forever. I'm not even sure what pushed me into writing this, but I admittedly need some work into building up my writing reservoir once again as I had in the past. Still… writing something is better than nothing, right? Also, I was having one sided Winn feels while I was in the shower and I needed to write them down. I hope I continue this trend as I start catching up with all of the shows I've been catching up on.
disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Seeing
Kara didn't see him.
The girl could look through walls, she could bend steel with ease, she could do more amazing things before breakfast than most people could do in a lifetime. She maintained her job, kowtowing to the stress of a boss who sought to push their own name forward, and to a media who were as conflicted with her deeds as they were with political debates. Her eyes saw mayhem and destruction, both physical and emotional, nearly every day with every hour, and she did her best to tiptoe the edges where her lives connected. Yet, as she held each version of herself apart, vying for time to manage either with more success than she'd ever done, looking for the weaknesses in the walls of her self image, she didn't see him.
It felt nearly selfish to think that. Probably more than nearly, considering her workload at the moment, but a part of him couldn't help it. The crystal of her eyes sparked, electrifying the room with excitement and charging him with a mixture of pleasure and terror… but he was just another wall to her, in the end. A wall that she was accustomed to, sure, and one that she relied on every so often for various needs, but still… he was a wall.
And she didn't even seem to realize just how easy it was to shatter him. Kara could look into a room and hold the gaze of everyone, she could mutter and stutter her way through meetings alongside their boss… She could brighten a room with a laugh and a smile, the curl of her lip like a trip to the moon and back… In the end, the world saw a mild-mannered girl with a catching grin and ignore the diamond in the rough beneath the surface.
Yet, so often, he saw her.
Of course, he saw her a lot clearer now, now that he knew a secret very few people had been given the choice or chance to know about, but even before then… he saw her. Her lips would curve into a grin at the sound of a trip to Cinnabun, and elation would vibrate through her very being whenever he would offer to pay for a pack of six for her to snack on. The woman would never admit that popcorn was likely her favorite snack food, although she would be the reason as to why the bucket had been emptied at the movies. She gravitated toward cats, even without meaning to, and would spend her hours at a friend's home petting the animal rather than allow her social anxiety to disturb her day, and she held a long term fear for snakes (despite having an invulnerability to them as well as bullets)- but she wouldn't ever claim that any pet was her favorite or one she feared because she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Kara cared deeply, she adored greatly, and she loved indefinitely those who were lucky enough to step into her small circle of friends. Her eyes were the brightest with her sister and her parents, and saddest too at the mention of family. She seemed to silently ache for things she'd keep to herself, her heart weeping for things she'd never talk about out loud… and she'd slide her broken heart under the proverbial rug rather than allow a friend to feel put out over the fact that she was the one hurting instead. She placed her loved ones above her own personal well being, and strangers were a beast she yearned to tame so to no longer feel separate from others.
Now… her blue orbs shone brightly without the warmth of family kindling the flames- and he was the wall that she looked through, her gaze upon someone new... someone he could never be, no matter how hard he wished for the chance. Kara followed the trajectory of the other, unable to turn away as though he was the sun and she was the earth constantly trying to face him. His movements were smooth, his actions were understanding, and he spoke to her with a kindness and protectiveness that sounded more than a friend would sound. And he looked at her with the same passion, the same fire, that lit the eyes of the girl who had been looking for love for too long.
And so… Kara never saw him, the boy who'd prayed for years for her to notice him between movie marathons and late work nights. She was too busy seeing someone else, someone who had gently pushed her into becoming the woman she was always meant to be.
A part of him couldn't even be mad.
author's note: and thus is my first foray into the Supergirl fandom. I spent three hours watching the first three episodes so to catch up on what I had missed, and I might end up making this into a habit maybe. :3