Title: Under the moon (one shot)
Anime: Bleach
Pairing: Soi Fong x Yoruichi
Rating: K (I've got nothing to hide. It's just a lot of longing and hurt).

Disclaimers: All my worldly goods, all I possess, is my imagination. In other words, Bleach does not belong to me. Neither does Soi Fong or Yoruichi. Although, I am determined to make miss Fong mine some day. We will snuggle up on the couch in front of the fireplace with a blanket ;)

Author's notes: There is this scene between Soi Fong and Yoruichi that I've been daydreaming about for a while. So I decided to write it down. But that didn't really work out the way I thought it would. See, there are some emotions in the picture that I feel have to be described first. And so I wrote this little thing.

Read and review. This is my first fic, so I will take any flames and compliments with open arms. However, English is only my second language, so please; have mercy. Don't burn me to death – then I can't really learn; now can I?

The story takes place sometime after the fight between Soi Fong and Yoruichi, and when things in Soul Society have calmed down a bit. It's sort of their "confrontation". In other words: Soi Fong didn't break down in front of Yoruichi. Their fight was somehow interrupted by the whole issue with Aizen, and thus they realized they were on the same side.

Thoughts are in italic.

The air was thick, making the world and everything in it feel heavier. Soi Fong gazed up at the moon, the only thing that seemed alive.

How she loved this part of the month. These three nights when the moon was full, illuminating everything that was dark. Illuminating her. She loved the dark. The mystic and fear it created. But most of all its blindness. Soi Fong loved how the dark surrounded her - mixed with her - and made them one. It hid her at the same time as it worshiped her. In the dark, with the stoic atmosphere, she was in control. She was the one with power. She was the power. And it felt good. Power meant respect. Respect meant honour. And honour could be the foundation of fear. That much she understood. That the one who feared his opponent, was the weaker and vulnerable one. Fear meant power. Sometimes fraudulent power – but power none the less. If she could beat them or not, didn't matter. It was the fear and respect; the veneration it created that made her superior. And she loved it.

But yet, three nights every single month, she sought out the moon and its cold and mystic light that always made her...feel. She loved it. But hated it all the same. She never wanted to be weak. Everyone knew that feelings confused and weakened a warrior. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to fight. She wanted to win.

So she shut everything out. Every feeling: joy, pain, grief, happiness... She didn't tolerate it. Didn't allow it. To feel was a mere burden. Never did she want anyone to know that she could. To everyone else she was ice - and that was the way she wanted it to be. Always! It was easier that way. There was the law. There were orders. Nothing more. The simplicity of it made it powerful. Made her powerful.

But power alone could not satisfy her. Soi Fong knew that. But what else could she do?

She wasn't always like this. There was a time when she let herself feel. Times that she smiled, laughed, loved... But that was long ago. Another life.

Back then, she had let herself feel, most of all love. But where did it lead her? Nowhere! The only outcome of it was pain and hurt. And oh, how it hurt. It stung, it cut, and it tore her down - like broken glass, leaving her alone and vulnerable. That moment she promised herself that she would never ever be vulnerable again. She would never put herself in a position that would make it even a possibility. From that moment she would stop. Stop feeling.

And to everyone she did.

Pink, pink, pink.

Soi Fong was looking at a petal as it was dancing in the air. She followed it with her eyes - intently. It was such a beautiful, yet sad sight. The petal fell down, down, down, before ever so lightly, landing in the grass. Soi Fong sighed. The trees were swaying in the light wind, the cherry blossoms dancing with. And then another petal fell. Again Soi followed its divine movements. How could the tree let go of such a beauty? Or was it maybe the petal's long for freedom that caused the act?

"Soi..." Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice. "What are you doing out here?"

Soi Fong didn't turn around. The fact that she hadn't noticed someone coming, bothered her intensely. Normally she would notice someone's appearances just as easy as people would notice the sun. But not today. Not this night. Not here, when all her thoughts were in a mess. Here, she was supposed to be free. Free and alone. Yet, she had found her. Yoruichi had found her.

"Did you want something?" Soi looked over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of her former leader. As no answer was given, she turned her attention back to the petal that was now dancing a few feet away. "One should always have a good reason to interrupt someone." She pulled up her Zangpakto and cut it through the air, before holding it up under the moon. Seeing the petal spitted by the sharp point of her blade, she smiled. "You told me that."

Yoruichi said nothing. She didn't know what to say. This girl, this young woman in front of her had changed so much. She wasn't like this before, and never could anyone who knew Soi back then, imagine that this girl would change into this callous young woman.

It's all because of me.

"Soi…" She tried again. The captain did not respond however. She just continued to look up at the falling petals. Yoruichi sighed, but took two steps closer to Soi. Yoruichi was hardly ever nervous. Never vulnerable. Never withdrawn. Yet now, everything was different.

"I…" Yoruichi whispered, as she walked up to the petite girl from behind. She had no idea what she wanted to say. But she knew that something had to be said. I can't leave it like this...

Soi felt her heart beat faster. Heavier. After all these years, this woman had still such an impact on her. And she despised it. Yoruichi made her nervous and excited at the same time. Made her chest ache and her heart cry out in pain, longing, want and need. All these emotions that suddenly returned… It was uncomfortable. Yet, her heart was dancing in profound happiness.

The departure of her former captain had hurt Soi deeply. And then, after one hundred years, she suddenly showed up, with some other ryokas – as the enemy. Every emotion she had buried came back with double force, overwhelming and drowning her. She couldn't explain it. Couldn't even begin to understand it.

Soi felt Yoruichi's breath on the back of her neck. She was so close. Too close.

"Soi, I…" The Chinese girl felt a light hand squeezing her left shoulder gently.

"Stop."

Guilt struck her by her own words, but determined to keep her mask, the captain took a step away from the dark skinned woman. Yoruichi however, wouldn't give up that easy. She grabbed the younger girl's left hand and pulled slightly, making her turn.

Soi's brows immediately turned into a look of aggravation, her eyes stern as steel. Who does she think she is? She looked up at Yoruichi, then moved her gaze down to the hand that had grasped her slim wrist. She stared at the hand for a moment – as if abominated by the touch. The girl finally settled her eyes on the hand's owner – topaz eyes staring back.

She hates me, Yoruichi thought. The cold and disgust reflected in those steel orbs were so unfamiliar. So distant. Almost unbearable. Truth be told, it frightened her. It frightened her that this killer alike look was from Soi. From Soi to her.

"Let go." the shorter girl spitted firmly. In a jolt Yoruichi felt herself panic and let go of Soi's hand. She really hates me. Yoruichi didn't know what to do but look down at the grass. She knew she had to say something. But could she face those unfamiliar eyes again? Those eyes that once held a story, depth and warmth that she could not find in anyone else.

"What do you want?" Soi did not feel like talking just now. Not on a night like this. Not under the moon. The confusion, frustration and happiness she felt by seeing her old senpai, angered her. And with that anger she abruptly pulled her hand towards her chest, wiping it with her sleeve, as if disgusted by Yoruichi's touch.

"If you have something to say, then say it! Don't beat about the bush." Her eyes had not changed. They were still as stern and grave, as a minute ago.

Stop this, Yoruichi. Get a grip! You're acting like a kid. Shaking her head, as if shaking away her nervousness, she took a deep breath, before speaking. "I'm sorry, Soi." She looked up at Soi for some sign of forgiveness, anger, pain – anything! Just any emotion at all. Anything but the empty and impassive stare...

"Was that all?" The captain asked, making ready to leave.

"What…" Yoruichi's words died before they were even said. She cleared her throat and tried again. "What happened to you?"

What happened to…? Soi Fong narrowed her eyes at the unexpected question. "What do you mean?"

Once again, Yoruichi reached her hand out. –Only this time touching the younger woman's cheek. "You've changed. I've changed you."

Soi Fong made a light chuckle as she shook her head, and moved out of the all too familiar touch. "Don't think so fully of yourself, Yoruichi. You'd be surprised to know that not everything is about you." Her lips were burning with detest. And defence… Last time she had been hurt, she had been hurt badly. Not again, had she promised herself. Not again would she fall for the stupidity of emotions. The stupidity of love…

This girl… Yoruichi thought. This girl has changed so much. Too much.

"These eyes…" The former captain ignored the insult, and placed her hand under Soi's chin, instead. She tilted it slightly, so that she could look into those grizzled eyes. For so long had she wanted to look into those eyes. For so long had she wanted to see her own reflection in those beautiful, loving eyes. For so long had she wanted to look Soi in the eyes - to recognize the love, strength and vulnerability those steel irises held.

"I know these eyes can cry." She moved closer, resting her other hand on the shorter woman's collarbone, while daring fingers traced their way up from her chin, stroking the captain's small lips.

"I know these lips can smile." Her voice was about to break, and she felt the lump in her throat grow bigger. It was painful just looking at Soi. Because in those eyes she could see how much she had hurt her.

Yoruichi once again moved her hand to Soi's left cheek, while her thumb was still touching those well-known lips.

What is she doing?! Soi's heart was almost breaking her chest. To come here... On a night like this, when I was… And doing… She didn't know what to do. Didn't know where to look. Her eyes were wandering. Afraid of the taller person in front of her, she looked down at the cherry blossom petals as they were dancing their last dance. Then the dance was over.

Suddenly she felt a warmth well into her heart, making her heart still. She looked down at the hand that was carefully placed on her chest. The hand of her old love.

"And I know that this heart can love."

Welled up emotions, ignored realizations… It all hit her like a thousand knives. Feeling her vision blurring, she looked up at the woman in front of her. "Yorui-chi…" If you only knew...

Her body could not take more. She had tried to be strong. And she knew that she had indeed become stronger. Just not strong enough. Her feet gave in underneath her, her knees hitting the grass.

"I'm sorry." Protective arms wrapped around her, holding her tight.

Yoruichi… Tears were falling, releasing the emotions that had hurt for so long. She had cursed Yoruichi's name for over hundred years. Blamed her for what had happened, and blamed herself for letting it happen. Yet, now, as Yoruichi was holding her, she felt safe. It was like her body was meant to be in Yoruichi's arms.

"Baka." Soi sobbed, finally returning the embrace. She held Yoruichi as tight as she could as she buried her face in the dark neck - tears streaming down like a waterfall. "Baka, baka, baka!"

Yoruichi protectively stroke the young woman's hair while rocking slightly, as if rocking a baby to sleep. I'm sorry, Soi. For everything.

She planted a gentle kiss on Soi's forehead.

"My sweet Soi…"

THE END