Bitter wind whistled through the alley, tossing the trash that had gathered around his feet. The falling snow was a sickly yellow in the flickering glow of a lone street lamp, matching the feeble pallor of the single ghostly face hiding from the darkness.
Frozen tears fell from glazed eyes, fixated on the dark abyss beyond the failing field of light. Hidden demons slunk through the darkness, whispering sweet nothings to mask their enticing deceit. Pointless, really, when the eyes were blind to the reality, the senses paralysed.
"I'm still me."
Soapsuds slopped over the edge of the steel sink and splattered over the grimy kitchen floor as the final plate clattered into the drying rack. After a quick search for kitchen roll proved pointless, practiced feet ran up worn stairs in a well-rehearsed dance to avoid the creaking groans they would otherwise emit.
A quick pause to check the rhythmic snoring still echoed through the empty house before a dash across the landing, sliding through a dark doorway and flicking on the light. Silent hands closed the door and muted feet hurried through the room, concealing the nervous excitement that fizzed through them. Shards of glass reflecting darker times were knocked aside in the present scurry. Falling through the next door into the bathroom, the glassy eyes turned to gaze at the mirror. A scruffy black mop fell over his face; the pale skin marred by ugly white lines, crisscrossing in intricate chaos. Dull cobalt eyes stared out, carefully concealed emotion glimmering through the cracks
Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his hair. Instead of organising the thick black strands as planned, they stayed an unruly mess perched atop of his head. With an exasperated sigh at his dismal appearance, he turned and went back through the silent obstacle course, flicking the lights off as he went. Jumping the last few stairs, he slid his feet into ragged combat boots. He took careful steps towards the front door, reaching out hesitantly and wincing when a resounding creak rang through the hallway. He slipped through the (practically non-existent) gap and heaved in the sour city air as the lock clicked behind him.
Cautious steps took him down the littered path as unsettled eyes darted around. Pressing shut the rusty gate, he spun and tore down the rocky pavement, revelling in the simple freedom of the action. As he turned the final corner a shy smile crept onto his face. The sweet dregs of evening sunlight bathed the park in an ethereal glow, casting into shadow the features of the final visitor of the day. He slowed and focused on his feet – they suddenly seemed very interesting. Apprehension fluttered through his veins as he wandered up the gravel pathway. The shadowed features slowly came into focus, but they went unseen by diverted eyes.
"Hey." It was a whisper designed for a timid animal, but the intimacy encased in the single word enhanced the rosy glow spreading up his cheeks. He risked a glance up before staring back down at the rubbish strewn across the path, giving a soft reply.
He stopped as another pair of shoes came into view and observed the stark difference. The expensive leather dress shoes openly mocked his second-hand combat boots. Gentle hands caressed his face, pulling his thoughts from never-where to the amused smile in front of him. The blush that painted his cheeks deepened as he glanced up through dark lashes to the face of his lover. Smooth palms cupped his cheeks as his face was drawn upwards, a deep murmur of "Alec," teasing his senses…
For the first time in a while his growling stomach had quietened, sated by the succulent meal only the finest dining could serve. It was a rare treat, and he savoured the time he had left, knowing it could be days before he escaped again. And yet, he wasn't happy in his silence, viciously rocking back and forth on the shrill swings of the abandoned park. His hands, numb from the metal chains they clasped, yearned for the strong grasp that had encased them all day. His lips, bitten blue by the cold, tingled at the memories of the afternoon. Alec's breath condensed as he sighed happily, before flinging himself through the air and landing on the deadened, crisp grass tufts poking through the frost. He inhaled sharply as the pounding ache seeped back into his bones, the temporary soothing brought by the afternoon's company forgotten. Steadying himself he began traipsing home. Layers of unnecessary dread began to build in his gut. Or, at least, he told himself they were unnecessary. His sub-conscious appeared to disagree, his hands clamming up as his blood rushed through his veins, spurred on by his quickening pulse.
The prison was looming in the distance, unnoticeable to the unknowing eye. It was just another crumbling pile of bricks, succumbing to the damp that infiltrated its walls; the frigid air that filtered through the smashed glass of the windows pitying the old newspaper sheets that attempted to replace them.
Repressing a shudder Alec jumped the low concrete wall, the dirt crunching below his feet. Silent whispers swirled through his thoughts as he stumbled through the darkness to the door, reminding himself he was alone – the monster lay sleeping. He grasped the doorknob only to have it twist under his hand. He leapt back as if scolded, luminous eyes locking on the door.
A well-aimed murderous stare spoke more than words could possibly hope to achieve. Alec lowered his head as he trudged towards the door.
It would appear the monster was not asleep after all.
He watched in silence as the disgrace made its way through the door, looking down on it and noticing that all forms of contact were being avoided – the face was tilted away to divert the eyes and the body was shifting carefully around his own so as not to touch him. For all the attention he perceived he might as well not exist in his own home. A king is not to be ignored when looking down from his own throne.
A sharp gasp escaped Alec's lips as a strong fist clenched his jaw. He squeezed his eyes shut before hastily reopening them. His inner self cowered away from the burning glare being branded onto his being, but his body gave no sign of backing down. He gazed steadily back, barely flinching when a slap rained down on his cheek. He was thrown further into the house, barely righting himself before a forceful shove knocked him through the gaping doorway into the living room.
Shallow moonbeams sucked all colour from the room. The chipped paint and threadbare carpet played host to a stained armchair and matching sofa, broken springs directed towards an aged TV balanced precariously on piles of junk. As he fell to the floor his shoulder glanced off the wooden frame of the sofa, relighting the flame of pain that seemed to be slowly charring his soul.
It lay sprawled on the floor, alabaster features twisting just slightly before managing to conceal their pain. But he saw it- he saw everything – now if not before. His vision, usually clouded by sweet inebriation, was startlingly clear. He could see the satanic spawn sprawled on the floor for what it really was.
"Where have you been, Alexander?" he could hear the teeth of the monster grinding as it spoke, and it took physical effort not to flinch away from it.
"I-I-I went f-for a w-walk," he damned his stutter. He could keep a strong stance all he liked, but he couldn't hide his stupid stutter. It was a sign of weakness; weakness was not tolerable. It was one of many flaws that, try as he might, he could not hope to hide. His heartbeat, previously pounding, was nothing compared to the jack hammer drilling its way through him. Sweat was beginning to matt his hair to his forehead and his whole body was yet to relieve itself of the painful repercussions brought from falling. However, he held his gaze steady, watching cautiously as a beastly grimace spread across the face of his captor.
The parasite refused to be submissive. It might be weak and defenceless, open to attack, but there was a hard glint in the eyes, a taught rigidity to the lean muscles that spoke of rebellion.
"Do not lie to me, Alexander. I will ask you once more: where have you been?"
Alec could hear the threat behind the words, no attempt made to keep it hidden. He took a shaky breath and stuttered out the same reply. A sharp kick to the side was delivered with a bellow of "LIES!" followed by a quick succession of heavy blows along his ribs. He curled into himself, choking and wheezing. He tried to turn his back, but calloused fingers gripped a handful of the black strands, yanking his head back to the evil glare of the monster. He gritted his teeth to avoid making another sound.
Two sets of heavy breathing filled the air. "I gave you a chance, Alexander. This was your choice. It may interest you to know that I received some enlightening information today. Do you know what it was?" Alec shook his head, the fingers still gripping it careful to give a yank in response. It was obviously the answer he was required to give, but that didn't stop the dread that had been building up earlier threatening to overwhelm him. The annoying tapping of a phone keyboard alerted him to the activity of the hand not in his hair. He was momentarily confused before the screen was turned to face him.
Waves of terror and disbelief washed over him. The thoughts running his head ragged froze. He couldn't feel his limbs; it was like looking up through a thin slab of ice and slowly drowning in the glacial expanse of water because you just couldn't reach…
"What is this, Alexander?"
The little demon's face was slowly draining of colour as it gaped like a fish, its mouth opening to let out incoherent sounds before snapping shut again. Pleased as he was with this reaction, the anger which had been boiling in the back of his mind began steaming, flowing through him and condensing to form an impenetrable layer over his emotions, congealing his rational judgement.
Flinging it to the floor, he hurled his phone at the window. The sounds of shredding newspaper and smashing glass were lost in the sudden storm of blows to every inch of the filth still sprawled below him. He could hear himself shouting in blind rage but could not distinguish the words. Mixed in were the cries of the thing falling prey to his fury.
Anything beyond pain was beyond comprehension. He could feel the dull thud of fists; the sharp ache of kicks. His armour was broken by the shock. There were no more walls; no more defences to put up. All it took was a few seconds.
'This was the reason' he thought, as tears dribbled down his face. 'This is the reason I kept it a secret.'
He took a step back to admire his work. Flecks of fresh blood glistened on the walls, dribbling down the pale skin in front of him. It was curled up in a fetal position, cradling itself, whimpering softly.
"You have one minute to leave my house and forever to stay away," the expression on its face was priceless – complete and utter disbelief, a dawning terror as it realised the consequence of its actions.
"B-but – "its voice cracked, hoarse from screaming. A firm finger pressed against its lips in an obvious gesture of silence.
"I will not have a faggot living under my roof. Get out."
Fresh pain ripped through him with every movement. He heaved himself off the floor and collapsed against the sofa, nausea rippling through him. An impatient cough behind him reminded him of the time ticking away, but he was still digesting what had happened.
"Alexander, I advise you not to test my patience."
'What patience?' he thought bitterly, but said nothing, instead staggering towards the door. He rested his palm on the handle – his brain was yet to catch up with his actions. Without turning, he pleaded one final time. "Father, please –"
"No. You are not my son. I will not be associated with such an abomination. Leave this place. If I see you here again, be mindful of where I keep my gun and run for your pitiful existence."
He heard it suck in a breath before opening the door and slipping outside like a ghost.
Bitter wind whistled through the alley, tossing the trash that had gathered around his feet. The falling snow was a sickly yellow in the flickering glow of a lone street lamp, matching the feeble pallor of the single ghostly face hiding from the darkness.
Frozen tears fell from glazed eyes, fixated on the dark abyss beyond the failing field of light. Hidden demons slunk through the darkness, whispering sweet nothings to mask their enticing deceit. Pointless, really, when the eyes were blind to the reality, the senses paralysed.
"I'm still me."