Legacy
Some people are born to be heroes; they have that instinct to leap without looking, to help others without question, to put everyone else before themselves. And what motivates someone to lay down their life so that others may live can never be fully comprehended unless they've been there.
George Kirk, Jim thought ruefully, had been one of those men; one of those heroes that had given up everything and had known what true sacrifice was like. While some fathers leave behind memories and pieces of themselves, George Kirk left behind a legacy.
To a fatherless child, that legacy left a void.
Jim peered out at the stars through the vast window in his quarters. This was a luxury he knew he would never take for granted, a view of which he would never tire. He noted keenly the way they glittered magnificently across the dark expanse. It was a remarkable sight and; oddly comforting and constant.
From his chaotic childhood to his troubled teen years, and now to his fairly unpredictable line of work, that was what Jim needed. He needed something he could rely on; something that he knew would always be there…or someone.
For years Jim thought he never needed anyone. He'd done fine on his own while growing up, or rather, he was forced to grow up faster than any child ever should. He'd put up a brave front when he took the beatings from his stepfather, at times even feeling he'd deserved it. His mother was gone so often, on away missions she would tell him, that he'd had no choice but to get used to it. That didn't make it any easier though, and it didn't stop the consistent dull ache from throbbing in his chest each time she left.
Jim swallowed with difficulty the lump, rising unbidden, in his throat. He thought he'd never needed anyone, but if he were actually honest with himself, he would admit that it wasn't true. Jim cared more about others than he ever did about himself. He knew he would lay down his life for any of his crew without a second thought. But as much as Jim knew this, and as much as he thought they didn't need him, he knew that he needed them.
That realization occurred to him after his first conversation with Pike, the man who'd dared him to do better. Jim didn't think he was initially up for the challenge; he didn't think he had anything to prove, but Pike had been right. Jim knew he was meant for something more, something better. He'd only needed that extra push from someone telling him that he could do it.
The truth that he needed others also came to him in more subtle ways; it came in the form of the inexplicable ease he felt at being the center of attention—not at all vain, but in the affirmation. It disguised itself well in the piercing gaze from a certain Vulcan, and it manifested itself in the physical touch from an over-bearing doctor.
The void that had been so hard to ignore, and filled with so many of the wrong things, had now begun to dissipate; and finally, Jim understood.
His father's legacy had caused that void in his life, and had consequently made him feel insignificant because there was too much to live up to, too much that wasn't there. Yet, in the end, it was his sacrifice that made Jim into the man he was today; the captain of the Enterprise with the best crew he could ever have hoped for.
So lost was he in his thoughts, that Jim didn't hear the insistent beeping at his door, nor did he hear McCoy overriding the lock with his medical code and walking in unceremoniously. It was only when he felt the all too familiar jab to his neck, and the hiss of a hypo following shortly afterwards, that he jerked back to the present.
"Ow! What the—" Jim startled visibly, rubbing at his neck. "You've got to be kidding me."
McCoy looked up at him peevishly. "Don't be such an infant."
Jim raised an eyebrow incredulously, with no small amount of annoyance. "Yea, well, you really need to stop doing that."
"Stop avoiding me, and I won't have to." McCoy said matter-of-factly.
Jim mumbled a curse, and turned, still rubbing his neck. "Whatever."
McCoy looked amused. "Yea, you would say that. You're welcome, by the way."
Jim rolled his eyes, but his irritation eventually melted into something more somber. During their most recent mission to a more primitive alien civilization, the ship had been quarantined after one of the crew members from the away team contracted an unknown virus. Unsure as to whether they had enough resources to counteract it, Jim had, all too predictably, ordered that he be the last one to receive treatment until everyone else was taken care of.
"Is everyone else accounted for?" Jim asked eventually.
"Well you didn't give me much of a choice, did you?" McCoy said gruffly, and Jim felt a hint of guilt at the aggravation he could see in his friend's expression. But going through the same situation all over again, Jim would have done the exact same thing.
"Bones…" Jim began, and it was a testament to how well his friend knew him that he didn't really have to finish what he was going to say.
"I know, Jim," McCoy said reasonably. He grasped Jim's shoulder in a familiar gesture that did not come lightly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Jim felt a rush of gratitude towards the doctor, and wondered with a sense of unease what he would ever do without him.
...
In the selfless choices he would make, and with the many lives he would save, Jim was much more like his father than he would ever realize. Despite the altered timeline, some things never changed. Little did he know that he would go down in earth's history as one of the best captains Starfleet ever had to offer. He would leave a story that would inspire others:
His own legacy.
A/N: Thank you to my awesome beta, Robin Warren, for helping me edit this and to caomoyl at TDA for making this beautiful cover page for me. I appreciate it so much! :)
If you enjoy the epic friendship between Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, be sure to check out our collaborative story, "Brothers in Arms". The story is now available in a free audiobook, completed with an amazing cast, music, and sound effects. Links to the story and the audiobook can be found on my profile.
NEW: "Legacy" is now available in audiobook! I hope you'll check it out. :)
:)
Warrior717