fAMILY A, a horatio hornblower fanfic

TITLE: Family

AUTHOR: Simon

RATING: PG-13…sexual situations

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters; I make no money from them.

SUMMARY: Horatio finds a girl

ARCHIVE: surely, if you'd like

FEEDBACK: Of course, that's half the fun…!

The OC's in this story were borrowed from Allison James wonderful story "Landfall", with her kind permission. She is in no way to blame for what I've made them do here!

Family

Chapter One

Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower knocked at the familiar front door. The paint was a different color and the knocker had been changed for a new brass one, but it still felt like home. He could hear the sounds of a party coming from inside, spilling onto the street like the light from the windows. Voices and music, the clink of glasses.

He often had the privilege of staying with Sir Edward and his family in the past, coming to look forward to the welcome and the warmth of their home. His own when he was growing up had precious little of either. It was only through them that he had learned that family meals could be pleasant affairs, not the silent strained things he had become accustomed to as a boy. He enjoyed the friendly give and take, the banter between husband and wife, parents and child. Sir Edward's stepdaughter, Mavis was a charming young girl, one he had become quite fond of, thinking of her as the younger sister he'd never had. She was a sweet little thing and pretty, bright and amusing to have around.

The door swung open to reveal the figure of the butler, Preston. He had been with the Commodore ever since Horatio could remember. Average height and gray haired, he served Sir Edward with a loyalty that many of the Commodore's friends envied. He was part and parcel of the place. He was as much a part of being here as anything was.

Lieutenant! How very good to see you again, sir. Come in, please, come in. I know that the Commodore and Mrs. Pellew have been so looking forward to your being here this evening. Let me take your cloak and your hat. There you are. The master is just in the salon. Oh, sir, you're looking very well, if I may say so, very well indeed."

"Thank you, Preston, you're looking well, yourself."

He walked through the double doors to where Sir Edward was standing surrounded by a group of senior officers, Post Captains, more Commodores, Good lord! That was Admiral Cornwallis there by his right hand. They all seemed to be laughing at some joke or other. Horatio decided that he would greet his host later when he might be able to get a word in. Besides, he knew that he'd be too self-conscious with all of Sir Edward's powerful friends to do more than stammer and probably make a fool of himself.

He turned to move into the dining room, hoping for some refreshment. It had been a long walk here from the docks and he hadn't eaten since breakfast. He'd been too busy on Renown helping to ready her for her next voyage. Taking a plate he proceeded to circle the table, picking at the various offerings. As always, Sir Edward and Lady Sophie set an impressive table. There was something for any taste to be easily found.

Taking his plate and a glass of wine that, he decided to take his dinner out to the conservatory. With any luck it wouldn't be as crowded there and he might find a quiet corner to simply sit for a few minutes. He hadn't had any time to relax in months and he was, he admitted to himself, exhausted. Greeting friends and acquaintances along the way, he went into the large room and found his favorite chair just where it always was. It faced out the great windows so that in daylight one could see the entire harbor from its location. Even in the dark he could make out the ships at anchor.

As he settled in to the soft chair, partially obscured by some of the large plants, he allowed the party noise to simply wash over him, blending into one solid wall of sound.

The food was excellent, as to be expected from Lady Sophie and the wine more potent than he had realized.

Combined with the over warm conservatory and his state of exhaustion, he was soon nodding off. He woke with a start as he felt someone removing the plate, now in danger of hitting the floor, from his lax hands. Jerking his eyes open, he was startled to be met with the concerned gaze of a lovely young woman.

"Horatio? Are you alright?"

He looked at her in confusion for a moment, unsure as to whom she might be. She was lovely, with dark hair and the most beautiful hazel eyes he'd seen in quite a while. After a moment he realized who was there.

"Mavis! Forgive me, please. Forgive me…"

"Forgive what? That you're tired? Don't be silly, Horatio! When I saw you here I told everyone that the conservatory was closed for the evening so you'd be left alone. I just came in to see that you didn't need anything and arrived in time to rescue mother's plate." She was smiling.

"You what? How long have I been in here?"

"I don't know. A few hours, I'd think. It's after eleven. You're the only one left. I was about to throw a blanket over you."

"Mavis, for the love of God—why didn't you wake me? This is unforgivably rude, I must apologize to Sir Edward and Lady Sophie immediately."

"Well, if you insist, but I think they're in bed."

"Oh, God." She was laughing at him now.

"Come with me, I'll take you up to the guest room. There's no point in your walking all the way back to the harbor at this time of night. Besides, I'm sure that Father wanted to ask you to stay for a few days, anyway."

"Mavis, thank you but I can't."

"I heard him speak to Captain Sawyer and receive permission for you to sleep here before he left." She took his hand, pulling him to his feet. As he stood, still groggy, he stumbled just slightly and was surprised to feel her arms steadying him. Half asleep and without thinking what he was doing, his arms went around her waist, pulling them together and started to gently stroke her back of their own accord.

They had both automatically started to apologize to each other when they stopped to just look at the other's face. Their arms tightened for a long moment before Horatio came back to himself and broke the embrace. Embarrassed, he pulled away, his face reddening as he mumbled his apologies. She, also, seemed taken aback by the suddenness of their feelings and with the intensity with which they had both been overcome.

Quickly covering their embarrassment, she was the first to break the awkward silence with, "I'll show you upstairs."

Meekly he let her lead him up the stairs to a small but comfortable room which had been readied for him, with one of Sir Edward's night shirts laid on the bed.

"Good night, Horatio. The maid will bring you hot water in the morning and then we usually breakfast about eight, just as you remember."

"Thank you, Mavis…. Mavis, I'm sorry. Truly, I am."

She nodded and then quietly smiling, added, "I'm not." as she closed the door behind her.

He sat on the edge of the bed as she left. He had barely recognized her when he had woken. Stupidly, he had expected that she would still be the young girl, the child who he had come to regard as his little sister. He thought that she would still stop at his ribcage. That her hair would still be down and her skirts would still be up.

Instead he was amazed to find that she had changed into a lovely self-possessed young woman, confident and intelligent. His reaction at seeing her through new eyes disconcerted him. His feelings hadn't been brotherly during their brief embrace and he suspected that she had felt the same. This could easily become awkward and Horatio wasn't sure what to do about what could easily become a new complication in his life.

The next morning came much too early as far as Horatio was concerned. He dreaded the idea of having to face even these close friends over a table after his inexcusable behavior the night before. Well, there was nothing for it. He had washed and shaved, dressed and was ready to go down. As he descended the stairs he could hear Mavis speaking.

"Mother, did you see him last night at all? He's even more wonderful than he was the last time we saw him. And his new uniform fits him so beautifully! He was quite the most handsome man there, father…other than you, of course. Of course he's too thin, but we can try to feed him some, can't we?"

"Mavis, he's too old for you and don't forget that, if you please. Sophie, talk to her. I won't have her entertaining any thoughts of marriage before she's at least eighteen and I'm quite firm on that point."

"Mother! I'll be an old maid! And no one has asked me yet, anyway."

"Good. See that they don't."

"Edward, really, will you two please stop? You're a worse tease than she is. Leave her alone. No one is getting married any time soon, and you both know that. Good morning, Horatio. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, very well, thank you for asking, Lady Sophie. Please, I must apologize for my behavior last evening. I'm so dreadfully sorry…"

"There's nothing for you to apologize for, Horatio. You were obviously exhausted and took yourself off to a quiet corner. That was quite the right thing to do under the circumstances. Please sit here, you must be famished." She indicated a chair across from where Mavis was eating her meal.

"Thank you. And I must thank you for your kindness in allowing me to stay the night. I truly am most grateful. I fear that I may not have made it all the way back to my ship last night."

Sir Edward was watching him during this speech. "Have it been a difficult voyage? Forgive my saying so, Horatio, but you seem quite worn out."

Horatio caught the appraising look that the Commodore had him fixed with. The older man knew him too well for him to try to hide anything like this from him.

"If you don't mind, sir, I'd be prefer to discuss it with you after breakfast, if that's all right with you."

Pellew nodded as Horatio began to work on the ham and eggs that had been placed in front of him.

An hour later he and his host were sitting in Sir Edward's study behind closed doors.

"Horatio, I need to know what you think of the situation. You've been with the man for over a year now, you must have formed some opinions."

"Yes, of course, but. Sir…I'm really not comfortable discussing my Captain when he's not here. Forgive me, but I'm sure that you understand…"

Pellew fixed his dark eyes on the younger man. They knew each other too well for any dishonesty to exist between them. "I must know your true thoughts on this. The man is responsible for a 74, a ship of the line and the seven hundred men aboard her, including yourself. The Admiralty obviously can't have them unnecesrilily endangered. Do you believe him competent or not?"

Hornblower hesitated, feeling awkward. "Am I speaking to my superior officer Commodore Pellew or to my friend Sir Edward?"

"Whichever one will receive the honest answer."

After a pause to consider his words, he finally spoke. "He is often beyond reason, fearful that his own officers conspire against him and then he will seem to right himself and be as sane as you or I."

"Do you fear Renown to be in danger?"

"I believe that…it may pass that she is so, yes."

Pellew looked out the window to the gray garden. The day was overcast and the deadfall of winter looked depressing. "Have you proof, witnesses?"

"Only the other officers, and he's had Hannon transferred ashore."

Turning back to Horatio he asked, "What of the others? Will they speak truthfully about him? What of the Surgeon? Is he qualified to make an assessment?"

"The First is a timid man who will say nothing. The Captain has already accused me of blatant ambition, so my testimony will be suspect. Archie…excuse me, Lieutenant Kennedy has a history of…he has a troubled history. The doctor has been with Sawyer for years. He's loyal to the man."

Pellew exhaled in exasperation. "There's nothing for it then. Unless he's raving at the Admiral's dinner, he'll retain his command, and Devil take the hindmost."

Reluctantly, Hornblower agreed. "I fear that you're right."

In the depressed silence that followed Sir Edward broke in with, "How long is your leave?"

Surprised at the unexpected question, Horatio answered, "A fortnight more from today."

"Have you plans?"

"Just to stay on board, I thought that I might perhaps take a room to get away and have a change of scene."

"No need for that. Stay here. No, don't object, really. I'd enjoy the chance to catch us up and have some good hands of whist and you know that Sophie loves to have you here. Besides, Mavis always looks forward to your company. It will do her good have someone to talk to who's her own age."

"But I'm at least seven or eight years older than she is and…"

"If you're here, they'll leave me alone. I loath being fussed over. I order you to be my houseguest, Mr. Hornblower. It's the least that you can do."

Horatio smiled at his old friend. "Well, in that case, no sacrifice is too great, please allow me to be of assistance."

Later that morning Sophie found Edward alone in his study. "So, did you convince him to stay?"

"Yes, I made it an order."

"Good."

"Sophie, for the love of God, tell Mavis to leave the poor man alone. He has quite enough on his mind. He doesn't need her at him day and night."

"Edward, that's exactly what he needs."

She turned and left the room with a satisfied smile on her face.

Edward wondered if Horatio had any idea what he was in for.

Later that day, after an informal luncheon, Horatio wandered back into the conservatory with a copy of the Odyssey, planning on spending a few quiet hours alone before heading back to Renown to gather some clothing and personal things for his stay with the Pellew's. He had just settled down when he heard light footsteps behind him.

"Am I interrupting?"

"No, of course, not, Mavis."

She sat in the chair next to his. " I haven't told you how I looked forward to your letters. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too." This was out of his mouth before he knew what he'd said. He blushed and looked down at the pages of his book, but not before he caught the pleased smile on her face. "I am sorry about last evening. I was far out of line."

She looked at him calmly. "No you weren't, Horatio. I wanted you to hug me as much as you seemed to want to hold me. There's nothing to apologize for."

"I really must….."

"Are you always this self conscious with young ladies, Horatio?"

He smiled at his own awkwardness. "I'm afraid that I am. I haven't had much chance to hone my skills with any, you see."

"Father says that you're better at commanding loyalty and affection from your men than almost anyone he's ever seen. Do you think that women are so different than men are?"

In full blush now, Horatio stammered "I don't…I couldn't really… well, I suppose not."

Mavis laughed at his discomfort. "Oh, Horatio, I'm sorry that I tease you so. You should just tell me to mind my own business when I do that to you."

He returned her smile. "Did you mean it when you said that you missed me, Horatio?"

"Yes, I meant it."

"You know, you're so much like father. You really are, you know. All straight laced and proper and stern on the outside, but really quite nice when someone is able to get through all that baggage you thrown up in front of yourselves. Mother says the same thing. She thinks that it's as though you two could have been father and son."

"Sir Edward is very little like my real father."

"How not? You know, I bet that I can tell you about him and I've never even met the man."

"Do you, indeed? I'd like to hear what your thoughts of him."

She looked at him for a moment and thought before she spoke, after a minute she started,

"All right. He's tall and thin, as you are. He's serious and almost never laughs. He lives alone and probably has few friends, but the ones he has he's kept for years. He works hard as…what is it? Oh yes, as a doctor. He cares tremendously about his patients and I'd wager that you haven't had a real conversation with him in quite a long time. In fact I'd wager that you might not even like him all that much."

He looked at her sharply. "Why do you say that?"

"Because in the five years that I've known you, you've only ever mentioned him once, to tell me that he'd sent you away after your mother died. You obviously look much more to my stepfather as a mentor or teacher than you do your own father."

Trying to cover his discomfort he murmured, "You seem to have given all this quite a lot of thought."

"Yes, some."

"Why on earth?"

"Because we're friends, Horatio, and I worry about you."

Just then they heard Lady Sophie calling Mavis telling her to hurry or they would be late. "I'm sorry, I told mother that I'd help her choose fabric for the new drapes this afternoon. She's trying to teach me how to run a house. We won't be all that long. Can we give you a ride to the docks to get your things?"

"No, thank you. Sir Edward has already offered when he goes to see the Port Admiral in a bit."

She rose to leave then quickly leaned in and lightly kissed his forehead. "I'm glad that you're here." Horatio smiled slightly as she left the room. So was he

"I've spoken to the Admiral. We were right, Sawyer will retain his command until there is reason to remove him."

Horatio looked out the window at the dreary winter cityscape. "Well, that's not really a surprise, is it?"

"No, it's not. How dangerous do you fear this next voyage will be for all of you?"

Not wanting to say more, Horatio exhaled and spread his hands in a gesture of resignation and uncertainty, shaking his head.

Sir Edward understood. It would be dangerous to every man jack aboard. Not wanting to dwell on the very real possibility of losing the man next to him, he decided to change the subject.

"You know that Mavis has set her cap for you, don't you?"

Hornblower laughed. "I'd suspected as much, but she's still a child yet. She'll find someone closer her age when the time is right." He hoped that his host knew nothing about the closeness of their encounters; in fact, Horatio was hoping that she would be home when they got there.

Sir Edward smiled to himself. Good Lord, the boy truly had no idea that his fate was likely sealed.

"Forgive me, sir, but have you and Lady Sophie any plans for the next fortnight or so? I wouldn't want to in any way intrude or be underfoot if you had."

"No, none at all. Just a few meetings at the Port Admiral's and the usual round. When I get the chance to put my feet up on dry land I prefer to keep things quiet. I hope that we don't bore you, Horatio."

"Little chance of that, sir."

Poor boy, He didn't know the half of it!

The next few days passed fairly quietly for all concerned. Sir Edward and Lady Sophie made the required round of social calls and had the people over whom they were expected to entertain. Mavis and Horatio did their part, attending the dinners and the teas; being as witty as and charming they knew how. As the time went by, Horatio and Mavis found that they were often in each other's company, exchanging looks when a guest went on overlong or became pretentious. They rescued each other from the bores and the fools, often one and the same and would then escape back to the conservatory, to the hidden corner they had come to think of as a refuge. Even when it wasn't needed as a hiding place, they could often be found there, reading, playing an evenly matched game of chess or simply talking.

Horatio had begun thinking about Mavis differently since the night of the party. He had always thought of her as the baby sister he didn't have. They had exchanged letters for years, since they had met in fact. She had shyly asked him if she might send write to him. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, he had agreed. Soon he found that he looked forward to her letters. They always brightened his days and he had taken to writing her in return. He would tell her about his travels and about the adventures he'd had, the people he had met. He liked having someone to tell his thoughts to. When he had returned from prison in Spain, he had found a pile of over fifty letters from her. Hearing that he was captured, she had written him daily, a constant stream of encouragement and advice and hope.

She had sent him Christmas presents and, asking Sir Edward to check his records, had learned his birthday. For years she had sent the Captain birthday presents for him, asking that they be held until the day. She had become a large part of his life and he was startled to realize just how much he had come to depend on her for reassurance and a friendly word. Not a dispatch package came in without at least one letter from her. He looked forward to them and always broke those seals first. Whenever he was in Portsmouth, she begged that he not forget to see her and stay with the Pellew's. He was always made to feel a part of the family. Having grown up with little family contact, it was such a joy to have their friendship.

Spending time with her now, he saw how she had grown into a charming and intelligent young woman. She had become spirited and confident with a slender waist and long neck, hazel eyes and chestnut hair. She would gleefully best him in chess and then equally happily lose to him in a hand of cribbage.

One night, as he lay in the guestroom bed, Horatio realized with a start that he had forgotten to tell Mavis something earlier that day. Not anything of importance, just an addition to the conversation they had earlier. He suddenly felt that it was the most vital thing in the world that he tell her, it simply couldn't wait for he might forget by morning.

Quickly, he rose and donned his trousers and shirt. Barefoot, he silently made his way down the darkened hallway to her door. There was a sliver of light underneath. Knocking lightly, she answered almost immediately. Holding the door ajar and looking up at him she asked,

"Yes?"

"Did I wake you?"

"I was reading."

"I forgot to tell you something."

She smiled. "What did you forget to tell me?"

"You asked me earlier and I didn't get a chance to answer you. I did have a pet as a child. She was mongrel bitch. Her name was Susie."

Mavis laughed. He thought that it sounded like bells. Without a thought as to what he was doing, he took her fingers in his, kissed them and then gently kept her hand in his. He leaned against the door jam. "Would you walk with me?"

"It's snowing. And it's one in the morning."

"We won't go far."

Nodding, smiling, she closed the bedroom door behind her. Wearing her nightgown and a shawl over her shoulders, they made their way down the stairs, still hand in hand. Both of them barefoot, they ended up in the familiar corner of the conservatory.

Looking out the windows, in the moonlight, they could see the great ships of His Majesty's Navy at rest in the harbor below. It was so still that it could have been a painting; the only things moving were the drifting snowflakes beyond the windows. Their arms went around each other and she rested her head against his chest, listening to his heart. They had stayed like this for several minutes, gently caressing each others back when Horatio tipped her face up to his and kissed her.

The kiss ended, only to be replaced with another and more after that. Horatio hadn't been with many women, certainly none who he cared deeply about. His experience with the opposite sex could only be termed limited, to be generous. As a sailor he'd had some…encounters in foreign ports, but he had never had his emotions touched as they were now. He had thought of Mavis for years as a child, a young girl who flattered his vanity and was grateful to feel wanted by someone. He was unsure of how to respond to the young woman in his arms. Of course he wanted her. Hell, he had been at sea and under stress for months, but she was someone he had come to think of as a friend. Somehow he had never put women in that category in his mind. Women were delicate mysterious creatures to Horatio; he had never really given them all that much thought, believing that a gentleman was above such things. When he did have cause to think on them, he was usually at a loss. To now put Mavis in the same category as those strange creatures was disconcerting. There had been Kitty, of course, but that was different than this. She hadn't, well, she hadn't really excited him.

And Mavis…she had fallen in love with Horatio when she was eleven years old. He had, at first merely been a handsome, exotic stranger, one who was kind to her, wrote her letters and answered her endless questions with equally endless patience. He had been more a fantasy figure than a flesh and blood man. Now that she was older, she recognized some of the qualities her father saw in him; his courage, his intelligence, his integrity and his kindness. And his arms felt good as they held her and his chest was warm, his mouth was gentle and arousing. He wouldn't harm her and he wouldn't do more than either of them was prepared for. She had known him for so long, and she trusted him completely.

"Edward, what is it. Is something wrong? Can you not sleep?"

He had gotten out of their bed and was pulling on his dressing gown, preparing to leave the room.

"I heard Mavis and Horatio out in the hallway and they seem to have headed downstairs."

"I'm sure that they're fine."

He walked over to look out the bedroom windows. Movement below in the Conservatory caught he attention. Looking closely through the windows he could make out the forms below, visible through the glass roof.

"Sophie, they're in the Conservatory…and they're kissing, for God's sake."

"Well, of course they are, come back to bed. They'll be fine."

He looked at her with some surprise. "Are you telling me that you don't mind that your daughter is down there, after midnight, with an older man, in her nightclothes and with no chaperone? Sophie! They could end up…" He actually was starting to sputter.

"She is with Horatio, and you know he'll do nothing to harm her. Leave them alone. They're just getting to know each other. It's nothing more than we did, you know."

"You were not sixteen years old, for God's sake."

"Well, not with you. Come back to bed." She pulled the covers back and patted the mattress beside her. He looked at her, as if trying to decide whether to continue the discussion or not. Then, making up his mind, he finally joined her.

Horatio's mouth was on her jaw now, moving down to her throat and her hands were holding him there, fingers tangled in his long hair and moving around his muscular shoulders. His hands were stroking up and down her back, moving around to her sides, her ribs and brushing the sides of her breasts. She noticed that both of them were breathing as though they had just run a race and that he was pulling his body back from hers, twisting his hips so that they would no longer have contact with hers. She laughed to herself at his tactfulness, his reason was apparent.

He pulled back slightly, looking at her. "We should go back upstairs."

"I don't want to."

He removed his arms from around her, taking her hand and leading her out of the glass room and back up the stairs to their own respective rooms. "Neither do I."

He saw her to her door, opening it and handing her inside. She stopped at the threshold, putting her hands on either side of his neck and pulling him down for several more long kisses.

"You won't come in, will you?"

"You know that I won't. Not here, not with your parents just down the hall. Mavis, I'm a guest here. I've abused that enough for one night, don't you think?"

With a small smile, she said, "There was no abuse involved, Horatio"

Mirroring her smile, he caressed he cheek then pushed her inside and closed the door behind her before returning to his own room and a sleepless rest of the night.

The next morning both Mavis and Horatio seemed both groggy and a trifle sheepish at breakfast. Neither had much to say for themselves and the meal was, to say the least, a quiet one. Finally, as everyone was finishing eating, Edward said, without taking his eyes from cup of coffee in front of him, "Would you mind joining me in my study after you've finished, Horatio/"

Looking up, Horatio answered the only thing that he really could. "Of course, sir."

His eyes then turned across the table to Mavis who gave him a half smile of encouragement. Sophie saw the look they had exchanged and glanced at her husband. He had also seen.

He rose and, with a look at Horatio, made his way across the hall to the study. The younger man joined him as he closed the door.

"Please sit down, Horatio. I'm not calling you on the carpet or asking your intentions or some such nonsense."

Horatio smiled, partly at the remark and partly in some small amount of relief.

He began briskly. "Now look here, I know that you and Mavis have some feelings for each other, so does Sophie. The thing is that you're older than she is, and you're away months and years at a time. You can't be leading her on. I simply won't allow that and you know that there isn't a future in this for either of you."

"Yes. I know that you're right, but I find that my feelings for her are deeper than I'd first thought."

"Then you have intentions concerning her, do you?"

Hornblower looked out the window for a moment as he tried to phrase his thoughts.

"Honorable ones, yes. Ithink that I would like to ask your permission to court her, sir."

"Well, it's about time!" They both turned at the voice coming from the doorway.

The men both stood as she walked over to where they had been talking. "Sophie, would you please. This is between Horatio and myself."

"Edward, don't be so silly. Mavis is my daughter and Horatio is like a son to me and to you too, so stop torturing the man and let him be. Now, don't tease him, they were bound to end up together. Of course he may court her."

Horatio spoke before Edward had a chance. "Lady Sophie, if you're quite sure that you have no objections."

She looked at him calmly and steadily. "I know that you'll never do anything to harm her, that's all that I ask."

"I never would, I swear." She crossed over to where he was standing and reached up to kiss his cheek. She nodded at him as she said, "I know that you wouldn't. Go on, now. She's waiting in the conservatory."

He smiled down at her, kissing her cheek and quickly left to tell Mavis.

Edward put his arm around her waist. "She's only sixteen. He's twenty four."

"She knows her mind in this. She's been in love with him since she was eleven."

"He'll be away most of the time. It won't be easy for either of them."

Sophie leaned into his embrace. "She sees that we make marriage work even though we're often separated. She's strong. They'll be alright."

He held her closely. She had just given her daughter…their daughter…to another man's keeping. She knew that it must happen, but, even more than Edward, Mavis would always be her life.

She was sitting in the large chair when he came upon her. He knelt beside her, putting his arms around each her. She caressed his cheek and held his neck.

"They said that it's alright, didn't they?"

He nodded, smiled and they kissed.

6/14/02

Family

Chapter two

Now that Mavis and Horatio had a new understanding, things between them seemed to move swiftly. Sir Edward and Lady Sophie allowed them much more freedom than they previously had, although not nearly enough to please Mavis. Breakfast this morning was not the quiet interlude that could have been hoped for.

"Really, Papa. We were just reading aloud to each other. You're blowing it entirely out of proportion."

"You were alone with a man who is not your husband, after midnight, lounging on a bed with the door closed. I most certainly am not over reacting, young lady, and you will do well to remember that."

"Mama! Speak to him. Please!"

"Well, you won't get him to propose by trying to force his hand, if that's the game you've decide to play."

"I'm planning nothing of the kind. He's already told me that he won't marry until this next voyage is finished, at the earliest."

"Mavis, I do think that you could at least keep the door open. Why on earth don't you simply go down to the study or the conservatory? Those rooms are perfectly comfortable. And it was quite late, darling."

"Mama! Really. Horatio's leave ends in just a week and a half and then we won't see each other for months, if not longer. We were just searching out some privacy."

Sophie and Edward exchanged looks across the table. The child was right. She would be separated from Horatio for a long time when he left. In all honesty, there was nothing that they couldn't do if they chose to. Mavis was young, but she was no child and Horatio was a grown man.

They looked up as Horatio walked into the room. He was wearing shore clothes, a light gray pair of trousers and a dark red waistcoat over his white shirt. "Good morning, Sir Edward, Lady Sophie. Forgive my being late this morning, I fear that I overslept somewhat." His eyes fell on Mavis with a small smile. "Good morning."

She glowed at his entrance, a look not lost on any of the other people present.

"It's quite alright, Horatio. We just sat down ourselves. Have you any plans today, Edward?" He had begun to look at some official papers and was starting to be lost to them.

"I've a meeting with the Port Admiral at ten. After that I believe that I'm free for the rest of the day. What are you up to, my dear?" His answer was spoken vaguely.

She looked over at him calmly. "I was planning to see about the redecorating. I've been informed that the fabrics Mavis and I chose for the study and the master bedroom are now unavailable for some reason. I need to pick something else."

"I'm sure that whatever you chose will be a triumph."

She looked at him wryly. "I'm glad that you think so."

Mavis looked across the table to where Horatio was just starting on his food. "Would you like to take a walk after we eat? It looks like the bad weather has left us for now. We could see your Renown. I would very much like to be able to imagine your surroundings after you leave, then could picture your berth and where you eat your meals and write your letters"

Not meeting her look, Horatio answered, "A walk would be pleasant, but I fear that we won't be able to go out to the ship. Captain Sawyer dislikes visitors unless they are there on Navy business. You could see her from the quay, though, if you would like that." She nodded at him.

Edward noticed the awkward hesitation in Horatio's answer. It was a Captain's prerogative, of course, but it was common to allow family, especially of officers aboard when a ship was at anchor. He had certainly never seen any harm in it. It seemed to give loved ones something to hang onto after their men were away. He would ask Horatio about it later.

"Have you heard where Renown is bound for this time?"

""No, sir, not a word. It could be anywhere from the Med to the Indies and beyond. I suspect that the Captain will open his orders after we're away."

Pellew nodded. Yes, that was another common thing. Secrecy was the military's stock in trade. He'd nose about at the Port Admiral this morning and see what he could learn. There seemed to be something about the entire voyage that made him uncomfortable.

A few minutes later, breakfast finished, Sir Edward and Lady Sophie left for the business they each had in town. Horatio was in the guest room when Mavis walked, neglecting to knock.

"Are you ready to go? I would really very much like to see the ship, even if it is only from a distance."

He was just getting his coat on. "Yes, of course, Mavis. We can leave if you're ready."

She crossed the floor to where he was standing. "You'd rather not go, wouldn't you?"

He gave her a small smile. "No, it's fine. I know that you want to." She took his hand.

"There's something very wrong with the ship, isn't there? I heard you and Papa talking the other night. He's afraid that there will be problems with this voyage. He told Mama that he's worried for you."

He looked at her, knowing that lying would be pointless. She was both too intelligent and too well connected to be taken in for long. Besides, he was basically an honest man. Horatio sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Mavis to sit beside him, their hands still joined, his eyes fixed on their entwined fingers.

"I know that you're concerned about me. I wish that I could speak with you about it, but I can't. I wish that I could, but it's impossible."

"So it is dangerous, then."

"I'll be fine, I don't want you fretting. We'll do our job and return when we're finished. Just like always."

She played with his hand, turning it over, rubbing the skin, smoothing the fingers then curling them around her own.

Horatio continued. "And we'll write, just like always, but now we'll have more to talk about." He smiled at her as he lifted her chin and kissed her. She returned the kiss and he felt that her cheeks were wet. He kissed the tears off as her hands went around his neck, pulling him very close. Their kisses were becoming more intense, deeper and their breath was starting to come faster. His hands were beginning to caress her and they were about to fall back onto the mattress when he pulled back from her just enough to speak.

"No."

"My parents won't be home for hours."

"I'm leaving in less than a fortnight. I won't risk leaving you pregnant."

"We can get married this week."

"No. I told you that I wouldn't until this voyage is over."

She looked straight at him. "Because you might not return?"

There was a hesitation as he though of how to say what he needed to have her understand.

"…I'm an officer stationed on a Ship of the Line during wartime….and…"

"And you don't want me grieving if you're killed. Is that what you want to say? God, Horatio. Whether we're married or not, should anything happen to you, you know that I would grieve. What difference would marriage make as far as that is concerned?"

"Mavis…"

"I know that you will be in danger. When you were in prison I could think of nothing else. When Papa is at sea I know how Mama is. She waits. She goes about her daily chores and errands, but what she really does is wait for word from him. I know what that is like."

"I don't want to put you through that. Don't you see that?"

"Whether you marry me or not, I go through it."

He stood up, standing over her as she looked up at him. Shaking his head to himself he said, quietly, "I can't do this to you. I shouldn't have come here, I should have stayed on the ship."

Her face was still and her back was rigid. Her eyes focused on the carpet at her feet. "You don't think that you'll come back, do you? You think that you'll be killed. That's why you won't get married until you get back."

Horatio said nothing. There was nothing that he could say. She continued, her voice matter of fact.

"I don't care. I'm your wife whether we're married or not and I'll be your widow if you're killed whether I wear your ring or not."

"At sixteen."

"My age doesn't matter. I've loved you since I was eleven. My parents thought that it was cute, that I would out grow it." She snorted in disgust. "They didn't believe that I could really know what I wanted when I was that young. But I knew then and I know now. I want us to be together when we can and I want your children."

Horatio was unsure how to react to her declaration. They had yet to exchange revelations of their feelings for each other, obvious though they were. He had never thought that he would hear such words from a woman, and—sixteen or notwoman she was.

"Mavis. I …I'm not sure what to say to you. I know that our feelings for each other are deeper than they were and they have become more…mature. Your parents have given their permission for us to court, but I can't marry you now. I simply can't and I'll not hurt you by forcing myself on you."

"You wouldn't hurt me if it's what we both want." She rose from where she had been sitting on the bed and crossed over to where he was standing by the window. Her hand was on his arm.

"Can you honestly say that you don't want me?"

Looking down at her he shook his head. "You know that I would take you now if I thought that…every night since I've been here, it's been all I can do not to go to your room."

"I've lain in there wishing you would open the door and come in."

"No."

"Horatio…"

Taking her hand he pulled her towards the door. "Come with me. We said that we would walk down to the harbor. Let's go. I'll show you Renown."

Sir Edward and Lady Sophie were returning from their errands in town as the carriage passed Horatio and Mavis on their walk. Deciding not to bother them, they passed the younger couple by without stopping.

"How dangerous is the new assignment that's been given to Renown, Edward?"

"It's no more or less dangerous than most. That's not where the problem will lie, I fear."

"Can you tell me your fears, dearest?"

Pellew hesitated, he knew that he shouldn't tell Sophie what truly concerned him, but he knew that she worried for Horatio and for how any loss would affect Mavis.

"I fear that Renown is a troubled ship. Her officers and her men seem to have no faith in each other and I've seen that there are several camps of divided loyalty onboard. It seems that the Captain is…of the belief that his officers are not to be trusted and has conveyed this belief to the crew. It puts them into a difficult position."

"James Sawyer? But he's always been so supportive of his men. That doesn't sound like him. And you know better than I that Horatio is as trustworthy as the day is long."

"Yes, he certainly always has been so."

"Edward! Are you having second thoughts about him? I can hardly believe…"

"No, dearest, of course not. What I fear is that he will find himself placed in a situation from which there may be no simple solution."

"You think that he might not return?"

"I pray God that I'm wrong. I've even tried to inquire as to a transfer for him, but I'm afraid that there's no way to force it without questions being asked at this late date. They sail in less than a fortnight. I'd need a very good reason to have an experienced Lieutenant pulled from his ship and replaced now. And I doubt if Horatio would accept it anyway."

"Does Mavis know any of this?"

"I doubt if he would have told her."

"If anything should happen to him, she will take it very hard, Edward. You know that. When she found that he had been taken prisoner, I feared that she would never leave the house for fear of missing the post, well, other than to haunt the Port Admiral. And then she was still a child, now she's truly in love with him."

"I know that…. do you think that he loves her? He's so reserved that I wonder. Might he still see her as a youngster with a childish infatuation?"

"Are you suggesting that he's toying with her?"

"No, not that. I'm merely wondering if the depth of her feelings are returned."

"He did ask your permission to court her."

"Yes, he did."

"You don't think he's merely trying to form an alliance with you or some such thing, Edward, do you?"

"I don't think so, no, but I wonder why a twenty-four year old man would be attracted to a sixteen year old girl…beyond the obvious."

"Really, dearest. You've known Horatio for years, do you think him capable of such a thing?"

"I don't want to think so. But you know as well as I that an alliance with me will be advantageous to his career. And he is nothing if not ambitious."

"If you think that of him, why did you agree to his courting Mavis?"

He hesitated while he looked out the carriage window. They were arriving at the house. "Because, in fact, I don't think that he would ever do that. It's just …something to consider."

The carriage stopped and they were about to disembark when Sophie said,

"Edward, you're borrowing trouble."

"Renown is larger than Indefatigable, isn't she?"

"Renown is a 74, Indy is a 44."

"So she'll have many more men, too, I'd imagine."

"Yes, over seven hundred."

Mavis turned and looked at Horatio, standing straight and tall next to her, their arms linked. Staring at the ships at anchor, he had an unreadable expression on his face.

Finally she realized what it was. "You hate that ship. It's written all over your face. You do, you hate it and you fear it. What, in the name of God is wrong with her? What frightens you about sailing on her?"

He attempted a smile. "Mavis, you're imagining things. I don't fear the ship. Good God, I live on that ship and have for over two years. She's my home."

"You may live on her, but she's no home to you."

Just as he was about to answer they heard a voice behind them. "Mr. Hornblower, you're not due back for over a week yet. Feeling homesick, were you?"

Horatio disengaged his arm so that he might salute. "Good morning, sir. Might I have the honor of presenting Miss Mavis Pellew. Mavis, Captain Sawyer of Renown."

"Ah, Miss Pellew, I had the pleasure of making your acquaintance the other evening at your parents dinner party. I had a lovely time and have been quite remiss in thanking your gracious mother for being so good as to include me."

"You're very kind to say so, Captain."

"Mr. Hornblower, I hadn't realized that your friendship with the Pellew family extended to the next generation. How clever of you to be so bold."

The implication of an alliance of convenience was obvious, though outwardly the two young people both kept their composure. "Miss Pellew and I have been friends for a number of years, sir. We often exchange letters when I'm at sea."

Smiling sweetly, Mavis added, "I think of Horatio as an older brother, Captain. He's always been so kind to me."

"How very pleasant for you both. Enjoy the remainder of your leave, Lieutenant. Good Day, Miss Pellew." Sawyer boarded the tender that was waiting to take him back to Renown. As they watched him go, Mavis turned to Horatio. "What a horrid man."

Mildly Horatio answered, "He's my Captain, Mavis."

"I don't care who he is. He's a terrible man and I think that he dislikes you very much. He's dangerous."

Knowing that she was right, Horatio said nothing but instead suggested that they retire to a nearby tearoom for some refreshments. Grudgingly changing the subject, Mavis agreed.

"Papa, he's absolutely the most awful man. He practically came out and said that Horatio was courting me so as to advance his career. There must be something that you can do."

They were in Pellew's study, Horatio was upstairs bathing and Sophie was overseeing the dinner. "Now, Mavis, you know that I really can't say anything against a fellow captain without reason. Simply not liking a man is hardly just cause."

Well, can't you have Horatio transferred? Request him back to Indefatigable. You'd love to have him with you again. You know that you would."

"No, absolutely not. First of all, he's too close to sailing on Renown to leave without causing all sorts of problems for everyone involved and secondly, that would be a large step backwards for him He'd be sure to see it as some sort of discipline without knowing what he'd done to warrant it."

"You'd probably be saving his life."

"That's something of an exaggeration, don't you think, my dear?"

"Papa. You think that I'm being foolish, but I swear that he dislikes Horatio for some reason. He'll be terrible to him. I truly think that he'll be in danger."

"I'm sure that he'll be just fine. Simply disliking someone is hardly a death sentence. Horatio is more than capable of taking care of himself. You're not to worry." He kissed her cheek. "I worry more about the two of you down here alone in the middle of the night."

She had the good sense to blush and look suitably embarrassed. "You've less to worry about with Horatio that with any other of the men I know." Smiling, she left to see if Horatio was ready for another game of chess.

After dinner Edward went out to the conservatory, looking for the two young people. Somewhat surprised, he found Horatio alone in the large chair, quietly watching the ships below. There was only a single candle burning.

"Am I disturbing you, Horatio?"

He gave a small smile. "No, of course not. Please join me."

"No Mavis?"

"She and Lady Sophie are looking over gowns for the Admiral's birthday next week."

"Good. I wanted to talk to you alone." Horatio gave his full attention.

"Yes, sir?"

"Mavis is worried that Sawyer is predisposed against you. She fears for you. Is she correct?"

"Sir Edward…I can hardly…"

"Oh, stow that. Is the man after your hide or isn't he? Between you and me, in this room…is there reason for concern?"

He looked down at his ship at rest. "God, I hate this. Yes. He seems to think that I'm trying to take his command and that I'm a threat to him somehow, personally."

"How far will he go?"

"God only knows. When he's rational, he's fine. When he's having one of his episodes, he's capable of anything."

Edward sat back in his chair, his hands clasped before him. "So you are in danger on that ship."

Horatio spoke in a low voice. Obviously he'd given this thought. "And I can't request a transfer. He'd refuse it. Even if he didn't, there's no circumstance under which he'll allow my division to leave with me and I can't just desert them. We've been together for seven years. Plus they're marked with my stench as far as the Captain is concerned."

"Will he try to have you killed? Is he that bold, or that mad?"

Hornblower nodded in the half darkness. "If he thinks that he can get away with it, he might."

Edward's response was barely breathed aloud. "Dear God. So this is why you won't ask for Mavis' hand until you return."

Horatio looked over at him, saying nothing.

They heard a sound behind them. Mavis came around the corner. Looking directly at Horatio she was angry. "So it's true and you wouldn't admit to me that you're in danger. And you're just going to board that ship next week as though nothing is wrong and you know that you might not come back."

"Mavis…how could I…"

"You go to Hell." She turned and ran out, obviously in tears. Edward spoke calmly. "You should go after her. She's frightened for you."

"Yes." Sounding resigned, the young man rose and walked off to find her, leaving the Commodore alone.

She hadn't gone far, just to the study, probably hoping that he'd follow her. He quietly closed the door behind him. She was crying.

"Mavis. I couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to worry about me. There's' nothing to be done about it and you know that I'll be fine. I'll be back in a few months and we can discuss our future then. I want to, you know. I want us to be together."

"How can we be if that maniac is trying to kill you? At sea he can do anything he wants."

"At sea there will be seven hundred men watching him. He'll be careful, as will I. If I just do my job, I'll be fine."

"I don't believe that any more than you do."

He moved behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, gently squeezing and ribbing the tense muscles there. She leaned back into him, her hands coming back to hold his hips. He pressed closer, his arms around her waist. He kissed the nape of her neck and she turned to face him, their arms still around each other.

"Don't go."

"I have to."

"Horatio…please."

"You know that I have no choice. I'll be all right. I promise that I will. As soon as I return we'll be married. You've my word on that."

"I want us to be married now, before you go. Please, Horatio."

"Mavis, what possible difference can it make?" She looked at him as though he were speaking a foreign language. She spoke patiently to him, as though explaining the most obvious fact in the world.

"The difference is that I want to be your wife, I want to sleep beside you and have your children. You know that."

"And after I return you shall have all of these things."

"If you return. I heard what you said to Papa. You think that it's likely that you'll be killed. I want to have you now."

He looked down at her, kissing her forehead as he thought of his response. In truth, he would marry her that very day if he could, but feared the consequences if he didn't return, which seemed increasingly likely. He had no money to leave her and if she were to bear a child there would be hardship for her. True, her parents were well endowed, but he would never presume to impose his problems on them, even though she was their daughter.

But, God! He wanted her. He longed to hold her against him and to make love to her. He ached with it. At night, it was all that he could do to stay on his side of the door.

Her hands were inside his coat, working their way under his waistcoat, closer to his bare skin. His breathing was starting to come faster and his own hands were moving over her with more and more intent, holding her tightly, clenching her skin through the fabric of her bodice. They were kissing each other roughly, as though trying to somehow merge themselves together.

"Mavis. Stop this."

"Why? Because you're afraid that I'll become pregnant? What do I care? That's what I want. I've told you that."

"When I get back. Not now. No."

She dropped her hands and pulled back from him. His own arms relaxed their hold, though his hands still rested on her hips. She didn't say anything, just stood there, looking at some point about his breastbone.

"Will you wait for me to get back?"

She nodded, still not meeting his face, turned and left the room.

6/19/02

Family

Chapter Three

After Mavis had left him along in the study, Horatio was torn as what to do next. He desperately wanted to go to her, hold her and beg her to forgive his stubborn stupidity. He wanted her completely. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and ….

He shook his head. He wouldn't. He refused to give in, he couldn't.

Looking up he saw that Sir Edward standing in the doorway.

"She's frightened for you, Horatio. That's why she's being so difficult. You know that she loves you."

He nodded in a distracted sort of way. "Yes, I know that… I…." He shook his head, unable to articulate what he wanted.

Edward crossed over to the sideboard and poured two glasses of brandy. Handing one to Horatio he gestured for the young man to sit with him by the fire.

"You want her and you'd probably like to marry her now but are afraid to hurt her should something happen to you. Am I correct?"

He looked over at the older man who had been his teacher for years. "Yes. I don't know what to do. I'd marry her tomorrow, with your permission, but if I don't return, then she'd be left here and…" Again, words failed him.

"And might be left with a child to raise alone. Is that about the size of it?"

Hornblower nodded without saying anything.

"Horatio, your concerns are laudable, but have you considered this from her perspective?"

"Sir?" His eyes were on the father's face.

"Mavis has been in love with you since that first day she laid eyes on you when she was a child in Gibraltar. In the years since what first started as a childish crush has grown into the deep love of a young woman for a young man. She has told me that you've said the two of you will marry when you return from this next voyage, is that correct?"

"Yes, it is, but…."

"Might I make a suggestion?"

"…Of course, sir."

"May I suggest that we take the opportunity of the Admiral's party tomorrow night to announce your betrothal? This way you might each have at least part of what you want. You will have a delay until your return and Mavis will have her commitment from you."

Horatio thought for a moment. It did seem like a simple solution. If he returned, that is. "Well, perhaps that would…"

"Good. It's settled then. You might want to go find the girl. If I'm to tell the assembled worthies tomorrow, then you should have an acceptance from the bride to be, don't you think?"

Horatio didn't move. "Sir, if I may speak freely?"

"Of course you may, for the love of God. What's the problem?"

"Mavis, sir…I fear that she may not accept a simple betrothal. I think that she might insist on the actual ceremony before I leave."

Pellew looked into the fireplace for a long moment. " I think that it's prudent to delay the marriage itself until you return. I agree with that and I'll stand by it."

Horatio knew that it was because Sir Edward also feared for his return. It seemed like a reasonable compromise.

"Thank you, sir. If you'll excuse me, I'll speak to Mavis." Rising he left the room.

Edward remained where he was. If all went well with the voyage of Renown, Horatio would be back in six months or so and the wedding would be in the garden attended by a crush of friends. If Renown experienced what both officers feared, well, then at least Mavis would know that she had been loved and wanted by the man she adored. And if she ended up pregnant, well, having Horatio father his grandchild wasn't the worst thing that could happen.

They were up in her bedroom where he had found her. Mavis was sitting on the edge of the bed, Horatio on one knee before her.

"Oh, yes! Yes." She put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, his forehead, his chin, his eyelids and finally his mouth.

Breaking apart, laughing, he stayed her and said, "Now, you understand that we will wait until I return before actually having the ceremony. I really must insist on this, Mavis."

Instant tears came to her eyes as she thought of the reason for their needed delay. "Yes, I understand." She kissed him again, differently this time. Gently and tenderly. "We'll wait, if we must." He stroked her cheek and she saw a small smile on his face.

"I do want us to be married. As soon as I return." His smile broadened as he had another thought. "You'll have the entire voyage to plan whatever you would like. It shall be wherever you wish."

"And I shall cause Papa to be glad to be rid of me after he sees in what style we shall be wed." She laughed happily.

"You do realize that you are to marry a penniless Lieutenant? I shall be hard pressed to keep you in any but the most basic of styles"

"Styles! We must invite him…and Mr. Matthews and all of your division. They're all such sweet men. We can, can't we?"

"Of course, if you would like them to be here, they shall be."

She looked at him thoughtfully, sadly. Her gay mood suddenly gone. "You're not just doing this to make me happy, are you? You've been saying all along that you think me too young to marry." She looked down at her hands on his arms. "You will come back, won't you? This isn't just some way to delay so that I'll forget about you and perhaps find another?"

"Mavis, you know me well enough to know that I would never do such a thing. I will return, my word on it. When I return you'll be that much older. And we will marry." He tried his smile again. "You'll grow quite tired of me and wonder why you gave in to my pleadings and didn't wait for some rich Earl to come along for you."

"Yes, when I'm surrounded by twelve screaming brats all looking like you and you're off to the South Seas, I shall curse you and the Navy and Mama will tell me what a fool I was not to marry a fat, rich old Duke."

He kissed her again, and again as they stood with their arms around each other. Her hands stroked his back and his caressed her shoulders and neck. "We're betrothed now, it's different."

"Mavis…nothing has changed as far as that is concerned. I won't risk leaving you with a child when I'm leaving so soon and I'm not sure…" He stopped.

"Not sure if you'll come back?" She stepped back, angry. "And I'm now supposed to live with that thought for the next six months or a year while you're out on that damned ship?"

"Mavis, be fair. You know that I'm a career Naval Officer. As is your father. You must understand what that means for everyone involved." She glared at him. "You see your mother and how she is affected by the reality of this. If we are to marry, you can't think that I will end my career."

" I know that, but there must be something that you can do other than simply accept what even Papa says is a suicide mission for you."

"It's no such thing. And I'm sure that's not the phrase that he used in any event."

Mavis looked down at the floor, contrite. Putting her arms around him again and hugging him tightly she said, "Forgive me. I get carried away sometimes and I shouldn't. I just know that I will miss you so. Come, let's go tell Mama and Papa that you've asked and I've accepted. I think that they're both downstairs."

What she didn't say was that the phrase 'suicide mission' was exactly the words that her stepfather had used to her mother.

The completely expected announcement to Mavis's parents went as one would think. There were toasts from the Commodore and kisses and embraces from the women. After the young people had retired back to their favorite area of the conservatory, Edward and Sophie sat in the study, quietly talking.

"She's so happy, Edward, they both are." She was positively basking in the contentment of the two. They had both thought for years that this day would come.

He looked so sad as he replied. "May she have reason to remain so."

Seeing his expression, she asked, "It's that serious with Renown? Tell me the truth. Do you not think that he'll come back?"

"Dearest, I wish that I …" He shook his head. "I fear that here will be situations that no one will be able to control."

"She doesn't know?"

"I think that Mavis may suspect, but she won't want to believe that it's as bad as it really is. The young always think that there will be a happy ending."

Seeing the look on Sophie's face, he took her hand, bringing it up to his lips. Kissing it he added, for her benefit. "Perhaps she'll be right." His reassuring smile didn't reach his eyes, and his wife knew that he didn't believe what he said any more than she did.

Preparations had been going on for weeks for the Admiral's annual Birthday Dinner. All of the senior officers were expected to attend along with their wives, if available. Mavis would, as always, go as Commodore Pellew's lovely daughter and Horatio would be there as her escort.

Sophie and Mavis had both chosen to use the occasion as an excuse for new gowns and Horatio was easily pressured into having the two missing buttons on his new dress uniform replaced. It was then cleaned and pressed by Sir Edward's servants. A note sent to the Admiral's good wife asking that the betrothal announcement be made before the dancing began would, naturally, be gladly accommodated.

The next night the two couples were surrounded by the best and the brightest of His majesty's Navy to be found in Portsmouth. The Admiral and his wife both enjoyed entertaining and so spared neither expense nor trouble to be sure that their festivities were the finest around. An invitation to join them was considered a social triumph of the first order.

The Pellew's and Horatio arrived at the stated time, the women looking remarkably lovely in their new gowns, the men handsome and elegant in their dress uniforms.

As always, the evening began with the usual round of greeting friends and acquaintances, making small talk and catching up on the latest gossip. Horatio was relieved to see both Archie and Mr. Bracegirdle attending. Mavis seemed to know almost everyone in the room. Countless officer's came up to her, begging to have dances promised later when the music began. She politely demurred them all, all the while keeping Horatio's arm firmly in her grip.

After half an hour or so, Mavis moved off to tell some of her friends the news she couldn't possible keep to herself another five minutes and Horatio wandered off with Archie and Bracey.

"So, I understand that you Renowns are off to keep the world safe for from the Dons soon, eh?"

"Yes, next week we'll be away, Joss. Any idea where you and the Commodore are headed this time?"

"No, I'm afraid not. You know that we're always kept in the dark, at least us lowly Lieutenants are. I'll likely find out our destination after we're halfway there, if I'm that lucky."

"You're still posted with Sir Edward then? You're a lucky man."

"Thank you, Archie. I know that I am. I've been with the man for almost fifteen years now, and I'd sail another fifteen with him if the Good Lord would allow it."

The two younger men smiled somewhat ruefully. Looking to see that no one was nearby, Bracey continued. "You know, I once sailed with a captain who had…. problems. There were times when I questioned whether we would see port again."

The other two looked at him closely. He knew.

Archie spoke up first. "And what did you do, Joss?"

"We did what we had to. We followed our orders, but we made sure that the ship remained seaworthy and that the crew never knew that there was any dissent among the officers. And we all did two other things. We made sure that anytime an order was given, at least two officers were present to hear it. That prevented any misunderstandings, you see. And we kept journals. Detailed, private journals."

"Did anyone ever read these journals, sir?"

"Yes, Horatio. They were collected and read by an examining board at the Admiralty when we returned. To clear up any possible questions as to how things progressed on the voyage, you see." He smiled at them. "Ah, I see Captain Cooper across the room, if you'll excuse me, please, gentlemen. I'll look forward to us dining together shortly." Nodding, he walked away.

Archie and Horatio looked at each other. Fine, it was a start. Others knew.

The dinner, as expected, was excellent. The food was prepared as by an artist and the wines were as perfect as could be hoped for. Mavis and Horatio sat together at a table with Archie, Bracey and several others along with two young ladies who Mavis was friendly with. The talk flowed easily. The women were witty and bright, the men charming and extravagant in their compliments. The toasts to both the King and their host's birthday finished, the guests adjourned to the large room for the dancing. Just as the orchestra leader was about to start, the Admiral stepped up for several announcements.

There had been a number of prize ships brought in and there had been several successful encounters against the Dons, he was happy to report. He thanked everyone for being kind enough to join him this evening and now, if they would please attend, Commodore Pellew would like to say just a very few words regarding a personal matter.

Standing on the small platform that had been built for the musicians, Sir Edward, resplended in full dress uniform, stood while the crowd quieted.

"Ladies and Gentleman, it is with the greatest of pleasure that Lady Sophie and I have the honor of announcing the betrothal of our dear daughter, Mavis to Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower of His Majesty's Ship Renown." Smiling and raising the glass he had been holding he finished with "To the happy couple!", echoed by everyone in the room.

Horatio and Mavis, standing in the center of the crowd were immediately swarmed with well-wishers. His back was slapped countless times, his hand shaken and Mavis's cheeks were kissed so many times that she began to fear they would begin to chap.

As the music started Horatio took her hand, leading her in a graceful waltz to the approval of the other guests. As they started their second circuit of the dance floor other couples joined in, the room awhirl with flowing skirts and glittering military decorations. Hundreds of candles lit the scene; hundreds of hothouse flowers scented the air. Handsome men and their beautiful ladies danced and laughed and managed to forget that they were at war.

It was a never to be forgotten night.

Later, after the last of the food had been eaten and the final bottle of wine was gone. After their feet were too tired for even one more dance and the candles were finally guttering, the party ended.

Back at the Pellew home Sir Edward made his customary check of the house before retiring. He knew that the servants had already locked up, but it was his nature to be cautious.

Seeing the study door ajar and the fire still burning low through the crack, he quietly pushed into the room.

Standing before the fire were Horatio and Mavis, closely embracing and kissing deeply. His coat was off, his cravat and waistcoat gone. Pellew saw that her hands were actually inside of his shirt, which was almost completely pulled free from his trousers, stroking his back. He seemed to be returning the favor, but at least she still appeared to be in her garments, although she had changed from her heavy gown into a light wrapper. How long she would remain so was anyone's guess.

They were completely unaware of being watched.

About to interrupt he thought better of it as he recalled a conversation at the party. James Sawyer had approached him and Sophie after the announcement, offering his good wishes to the young couple. As he was about to wander off he had suddenly turned and, looking Sir Edward directly in the eye had asked if a date had yet been set for the marriage. Upon learning that it had not, being contingent upon Horatio's return the Captain had smiled and then laughed. "Indeed?"

Sir Edward quietly closed the study door and left them alone.

"They're downstairs again, aren't they?"

"Yes, they're in the study."

"Studying what, might I ask?" Sophie was smiling at him as she patted the bed beside her.

"Yes, quite." He climbed in next to her.

"Do you want to stop them, Edward?"

He spread his hands in a gesture of futility. "There's nothing that they can't do if they decide to, you know that as well as I do. Horatio is honorable and will be careful of her, I've no doubt."

"He's also a perfectly normal young man and a sailor about to leave his young lady for months, if not longer. And Mavis will do whatever he wants…possibly somewhat more, in fact."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "She's your daughter."

"And he's your officer."

He smiled at her, blew out the bedside candle and received no sleep for another hour. Nor did Sophie.

"Mavis, enough." He was having trouble catching his breath as they lay on the floor before the fire. Mavis had spread a throw and they were fully reclined on it and each other.

She looked up at him. "You don't want to stop any more than I do." She smiled slightly, knowingly.

"Of course I don't want to stop. I want to do what is right."

Her hands moved up to his back again, slowly stroking the skin up and down his spine, each stroke bringing her hands down closer to the top of his trousers, finally moving just under the waistband, pulling his hips even closer against her. She could tell how much he wanted her.

He was kissing and nuzzling her neck and her throat. "Mavis, no."

"Why not, Horatio? We're betrothed. We love each other. We both want each other." Her hands were moving between them to the buttons of his trousers.

"You know why not." His mouth was down on her shoulder and moving lower, the wrapper barely doing its job of coverage.

"I don't care about that any more than you do."

The buttons were now undone, as was Horatio.

His hands brushed against hers at his belly as he moved to gently pull loose the gown's tie. He rolled her under him and began kissing her in earnest. They could each feel the other's skin pressed and rubbing against their own and the sensation was intoxicating. The light from the fire illuminated the room enough for them to see the expressions on their faces. Looking down at her and hearing her breath coming as rapidly as his was, he pulled his face back just a few inches.

"This isn't the way it should be with us."

"Horatio…" She sounded exasperated.

"The first time for us shouldn't be on the floor here like furtive youngsters…. I don't want it be like this, afraid that someone will walk in. Hurried and furtive like this."

"Oh, for God's sake." She was suddenly very angry, pushing him away and pulling the robe tightly about her as she sat up. "I thought that you loved me, that you wanted me. I thought that we both wanted this."

Pulling himself slightly together, he sat beside her, his arm about her, pulling her head down onto his shoulder. Taking a deep breath to steady himself he spoke quietly.

"Of course I want you, how could I not? I've wanted you since that night at your parent's party when you woke me and I first laid eyes on you and saw how you had grown and changed. It's been all I can do not to take you here and now. You must know this."

He took her hand, placing it on his chest. Smiling he said, "Feel how my heart is pounding." She began caressing the skin under her fingers, her pique forgotten. "Mavis, please…"

She looked up at him from his shoulder. "Did you know that my parents expect that we'll end up doing this? I overheard them talking this afternoon when they thought I was still in my bath. They're not all that concerned. They think that it's normal."

The look on his face was one of amused disbelief.

"On my word, I swear that it's true. Papa was wondering if he should say something to you to behave yourself and Mama told him not to be silly, that we'd do whatever we wanted anyway. Then she said that we loved each other and that it wasn't anything that they hadn't done themselves."

He laughed softly. "That's not quite a seal of approval."

"They know that we'll be apart for a long time and…Horatio, please.", she finished quietly. She was speaking not as a child would who wished for a denied sweet, but as a woman speaking to her lover.

He looked at her for a moment, making up his mind. Standing, he quickly fastened his garments, gathering the discarded items. Then, reaching his hand down, he pulled her to her feet. Tossing the throw back on the couch and still holding her hand he led her out of the room and up the stairs stopping only at her open doorway.

She looked at him sadly, thinking that he was about to bid her goodnight when he pressed her inside. Still holding her hand he moved in with her, closing the door behind them.

6/25/02

Family

Chapter Four

Mavis was alone when she woke. The light coming in the windows told her it was early morning, but the household was still quiet. Being alone didn't surprise her all that much. Horatio was too tactful to embarrass her by chancing their being found together in her bed with her parents just down the hallway.

But last night! She smiled to herself, blushing. She had thought that he was bringing her upstairs so that he could be sure she'd be safely abed. He had handed her into the room, kissing her cheek, but then instead of backing away had stepped in with her.

At first she hadn't understood, he had said repeatedly that they must wait until they were married, but then he had pulled the door shut and turned the latch.

Putting his hand on her cheek, he had softly asked, "Are you sure that you want this?"

Nodding, she had turned her face, kissing his hand and using her own to unbutton his shirt, then pulling it over his head. Leaning in she had kissed his chest, feeling his heart pounding beneath her touch. He had then moved to the sash of her wrap, opening the front and sliding his hands inside while he kissed her.

He had acted exactly as she had thought that he would—gentle and careful and concerned that she not be either frightened or in any way hurt. The initial pain hadn't lasted and he had held her for so long afterwards. They had lain there for hours, close together, quietly talking about themselves and what they hoped for. He had told her about his family, or lack of it, letting her finally understand why he had become so close to her own and how grateful he was to them for allowing it.

They had fallen asleep in each other's arms, or at least she had, feeling safe and warm and precisely where she wanted to be.

Turning her head to look out the window she saw the note on the next pillow. "Good morning. I love you. H"

Smiling, she stood up, wrapping her robe about her and walked across the hall to the guestroom. Quietly letting herself in, she watched Horatio peacefully sleep, his long hair unbound and tousled, needing a shave. His bare shoulders made it obvious that he hadn't bothered with a nightshirt and she saw the old scar where the bullet had penetrated during the duel years before. It was odd to see him like this. He was always so reserved, so in control of himself. It was strange to see him so—vulnerable.

He shifted slightly in his sleep, a small smile briefly playing at his mouth.

As she looked at him she noticed again how shadowed his eyes still were. That was the result of much more than missing one night's sleep, and he was so thin. The bones at his shoulders and hips, his ribs were obvious. Those were the scars he carried from Renown. He denied it, but she knew that they were. Last night she had asked him about the ship, after they had…well, after they were finished. He wouldn't give her any straight answers. He soothed her and made excuses that were close to lies. She didn't believe any of them. The ship was bad. It had gone rotten. They did that sometimes. She had heard Papa speak of other ships he had known it to happen to. If the men aboard were lucky they were found out. The crew and officers would be split up, reassigned and the ship might even be rechristened with a new name to cleanse it.

If this weren't done, usually the ship, and the men on her would come to disaster.

Oh, God.

Horatio.

Her eyes filled. She couldn't bear losing him. No now, not after last night. No.

A quiet voice, "Mavis? Are you alright?"

Forcing a small smile, she nodded. "I'm happy, that's all." She went to the bed, half sitting and half lying against him.

"You're—alright, though? I was so afraid that I'd hurt you." His arms were around her.

She shook her head against his chest. "No, I'm fine. I'mhappy." He kissed her forehead.

"I was worried that you'd have second thoughts with daylight. Have you?"

"No, I haven't. Last night was right for us both. And tonight will be, too."

He was chuckling quietly. "Mavis! My God, I'd no idea that I was betrothed to such a wanton."

She laughed out loud. "You didn't complain last night after you finally decided to do your duty."

Laughing with her, he rolled her on her back, tangling both of them in the bedding.

"Sshhhh. Quiet. Your parents will hear. Stop that. I mean it, stop that this instant."

He stilled her by capturing her hands in his own and then leaning down to kiss her. Then drawing back, he pulled away.

"Enough. The household is waking. You must be off to your own room. I mean it now. No more of this. Be gone. I'll see you at breakfast."

She left his room, pausing at the door just long enough to catch a glimpse of him, naked, disentangling himself from the sheets. Smiling broadly, she closed his door.

"Good morning, Horatio, I trust you slept well?"

"Yes, thank you, Lady Sophie, very well. And yourself?"

"Quite well, thank you."

Sir Edward looked up from his morning paper. "I thought that I heard talking late last night. Were you two playing chess again?" His expression was one of complete innocence.

Lady Sophie fixed him with a look to freeze water.

"What have you on for today, Edward?"

Horatio gratefully turned his attention to his coffee.

"Just some more business with the Port Admiral. I should be home in time for tea. And what are your plans, my dear?"

"I still have to make another decision about those blasted drapes. Really, Edward, if you two would simply go out and win the war I'd be able to get the fabric from France that I like." She –almost—had managed to keep a straight face. "Perhaps you could arrange one of those, what do you call them? A cutting out? Liberate two or three bolts of silk, if you would, please."

"I'll suggest it to the Admiral first thing."

"Thank you, my dear. Ah, Mavis. Good morning Sweeting, how are you this morning?" Sophie was looking at her carefully, despite the casual words.

Horatio had looked up the instant he had heard the name, the two young people exchanging a warm look which completely excluded the other couple in the room.

She moved around the table to her usual seat. "I'm fine, Mama. Thank you."

Sophie saw the look between the two; their eyes were glued together. "What are you two planning for the day?" Mavis actually blushed as she turned to her mother.

"Oh, nothing special. We were up so late from the party and with the sky so threatening, perhaps we will just stay around here, if that's alright with you, Horatio?"

Sir Edward looked up from his paper. "Ummmm. Perhaps you might enjoy a few more games of chess."

Sophie's ice look returned. "Perhaps later you could teach me how to play, dearest."

Edward calmly replied, "I believe that you already know how, my love."

"One can always improve, dearest." He smiled at her.

Commodore Pellew walked into the Port Admiral's outer office at precisely ten o'clock, as requested. The young aide apologized as he explained that the Admiral's early meeting seemed to be running over somewhat, might he get Sir Edward some refreshments while he waited? It shouldn't be long. Thanking the young man as he declined the offer, Pellew started to stroll the hallway outside the office door. As he rounded the corner he heard the greeting.

"Sir Edward! What a pleasure to see you again so soon."

He looked in the direction of the voice and at the Captain approaching him. "Captain Sawyer. You're looking well this morning. Getting ready to up anchor, are you?"

"Yes, we'll be off next week, you know. I meant to offer you my congratulations on the betrothal of you lovely daughter, Sir Edward."

"Yes, well, thank you, but you already did so at the Admiral's party last evening."

Sawyer looked momentarily confused. "Did I? Forgive me, then. There were so many people there."

Edward looked closely at the man. He did seem somewhat vague today. Pellew decided to see what he could discern about the man. He steered them over to the window alcove where they might have a bit more privacy.

"So Lieutenant Hornblower has been with you on Renown for two years now, James. Happy with his performance, are you?"

"He seems to be competent. Ambitious, of course. Why do you ask?"

"The lad is marrying my daughter, man! One wants to be sure that she end up in good hands, you know. Have any problems with him, have you? Just between us, of course."

"I'd forgotten that he was one of your young pups from the Indefatigable. You should know him as well as I do, sir."

"Any junior officer will put on a good face in front of his captain or a commodore…or before a prospective father in law. What do you know of him personally? Is he trustworthy? Honest? Would you turn your back on him? How do his men feel about him?"

"Well…in truth?"

"Of course. I would know your opinion, James. I know you to be a keen judge of men."

"I find him to be—sly. Keeps his own counsel. Except when he and that friend of his, Kennedy, get together. Thick as thieves, the pair of them. Always have their heads together, addressing each other by first names right on the quarterdeck. I've had to discipline the both of them for that. Always talking about their betters up there. Thinking that they could run the ship better than I."

"James! You can't mean that they've actually said that?"

"No, no. They're too clever for that. They stop talking as soon as I appear, but I know what they're up to. And the way they mollycoddle the men in their divisions! I doubt if either of them has ordered a flogging in a year, if not longer."

"Their men are undisciplined, then?"

"They're a bunch of soft nannies, all of them. Following Hornblower about like he was their father offering treats."

Pellew shook his head in sympathy. "They sound like weak officers, both of them. Have you considered transferring them off Renown?"

"Of course I have, but if I do that the cancer will spread throughout the fleet. I'd rather keep them where I can have my eye on them. They bear watching, both of them. Mark my words on that, Commodore."

"Ummmmmmm. Quite.

The Admiral's aide approached them. "Forgive me, Sir Edward, Captain, but the Admiral is free now."

Pellew nodded in acknowledgement. "James, I'm glad that we had this little talk. I wish you luck on you're next voyage."

"Thank you, Commodore. If I may be so bold, you may wish to speak with your lovely daughter."

"Indeed, I shall."

"Admiral, I fear for the men of the Renown. We've all heard the rumors about that ship. It is my belief that they are true. To send her off under these circumstances would be tantamount to murder."

"Sir Edward, really. I appreciate your concern, but come sir! Your fears are over exaggerated. They'll be fine. The Admiralty has made their decision, and that's all there is to it."

Lady Sophie found Mavis in her room reading. Horatio had decided to stretch his legs on a short walk that Mavis had declined to join him on. It had begun sleeting.

"Sweeting, is everything all right?"

"Yes, of course, Mama. Why do you ask?"

"Did everything go well after the party last night? You and Horatio were up rather late—talking."

Mavis knew exactly what her mother meant. "It was fine, Mama. Better than fine. It was wonderful." She smiled in pure joy. "He's so kind, Mama. He's gentle and he's tender—he's so good to me."

Sophie seemed wistful. Putting her hand to her daughter's cheek in a caress she quietly said, "I'm so very glad for you both, dearest, and so is you father."

"Are you, truly? Are you sure that Papa isn't upset by all of this? But he makes me so happy, so very, very happy."

"Your father thinks the world of Horatio, you know that. We always thought that you two might end up together."

"What is it that is bothering you, Mama? Are you upset that we spent the night together? Is Papa?"

Lady Sophie took a moment before answering. "No, your father isn't all that upset. He's a practical man and he understands how things are between you two. You'll make your own decisions in any event, so there's no point in borrowing trouble."

"But you're concerned, aren't you? Do you think that I'm too young?"

Sophie took her hand. "No, I know that you're old enough to know your own mind. I'm more concerned that you don't fully understand what it means to be married to a military officer during wartime."

"Because he might be killed?"

"Or away for months or even years at a time. It can be so terribly lonely, sweet, and frightening. You will have no way of knowing where he is or when he'll be back, what he's doing. It's a—difficult way to live."

"I know that, Mama. Horatio was saying the same thing. I see you waiting for Papa when he's at sea. I know what you go through." She brightened. "But then you get a letter or he walks in the doorthat's the best part of it. I love the look on your faces when you spot each other."

"Mavis…"

"Mama, I know what you're saying, and I understand, but this is what I want. Truly it is."

Sophie gave her a small smile. "All I want is your happiness. I know every parent says that, but it's true, dearest."

"This is what will make me happy. This is what I want. He is what I want and he wants me."

She stood to leave, kissing Mavis' forehead. "Mama, while he's gone, perhaps we can plan the wedding?"

Smiling she answered, "Of course."

Sophie left the room, gently closing the door behind her. Her expression as she walked down the hallway was tragically sad.

Sophie heard voices coming from the conservatory as she approached the kitchen to check on tea. She entered the room, but stopped as she heard what they were saying. They were over in the corner chairs where she couldn't be seen.

"You're not to know this and it will be my hide if it comes out, but I'll be sailing into the same waters as Renown will be, so I'll be able to keep at least some sort of eye on the situation."

"We'll be fine. I'm sure of it. We'll just do whatever the Admiralty has in mind for us and then come home as soon as we're done."

She heard Edward speaking in a low voice, obviously not wanting to be overheard.

"Stay out of his way, for the love of God. Just give him a wide berth."

"Sir, you know that's not possible. I'm the ship's third. I have to work directly with him on a daily basis."

"He'll do you harm if he can. You and Kennedy, both."

She heard Horatio answer something unintelligible. Then Edward's voice again. "And if you're killed, Mavis will be…. " He trailed off, then continued. "What if she's pregnant when you leave?"

"Jesus, I've been able to think of nothing else."

"You've been doing a Hell of a lot more than just thinking about it. You and her both."

Again, his answer was mumbled.

Edward's wasn't. "Well, as I recall, once is all it takes."

There was silence for several moments as Sophie walked to where they were talking. They both rose as she approached. She had never seen Edward look so concerned about anything and Horatio appeared almost at the point of despair.

She spoke first. "The situation on Renown is that dire?" Neither man said anything. "One of you answer me. How bad is it on that ship?"

Horatio remained silent, looking out the windows toward the harbor where Renown lay at anchor.

"Don't think that by not answering you're protecting me. I've been listening to you talking. Tell me the truth. Is there a chance that Horatio will be killed?"

"Sophie, he's an officer on a ship of war…"

"Don't hand me that Edward. You know exactly what I mean. Will that maniac try anything?"

"It's unlikely that he'll attempt something. Horatio will take every precaution and the other officers will be there as witnesses as to whatever transpires on board. The Admiralty is aware that there's a situation which bears watching."

"But they won't do anything to stop it. God, what a mess. Mavis is upstairs planning the wedding, are you two aware of that?"

Horatio finally looked at Sophie. "I can't do this to her. I can't. I'll break off the betrothal and let her think of me what she will. It will be better than putting her through his."

"Horatio, no." She put her hand on his arm, but he shook his head and brushed past her to go upstairs.

6/27/02

FamilyChapter Five

Edward caught up with Horatio just as he reached the bottom of the stairs. Taking his arm, he managed to stop the younger man.

"You'll not go up there when you're in this state. Not after last night, you won't. Good God, man! Think. You can't bed her one night and break it off with her the next day."

Horatio stopped in his tracks, looking at Pellew. He nodded, embarrassed and saying nothing.

"Come on." Edward led him into the study. "You still have six days before you report, there must be something that we can think of."

Horatio sat on one of the leather chairs before the fire. His elbows on his knees, hands clasped before him. "We could be married before I leave. That way, if she is pregnant, at least the child won't be a bastard and she won't be ruined." Edward handed him a brandy, sitting himself in the next chair, his own drink in hand.

"Is that what you want? I'm not talking about a possible child, I mean do you truly want to marry the girl?"

Horatio's head was held in both of his hands, his glass on the floor beside him. "Yes. I want to marry her. I had hoped to wait until I returned so that she would be completely sure of her feelings and would be slightly older…that doesn't matter. We can marry this week."

"Horatio, is that wh…"

"It's the only thing that I can give her. It's the only thing that I can do for her."

"Do you marry her out of obligation?"

He raised his head, looking intently into the fire, thinking before he answered.

"I can't bear to hurt her. I…slept with her. I think that I love her, but I've never loved anyone before." He looked over at Pellew, a sad smile on his face. "What does it feel like to be in love?"

Sophie had entered the room, seating herself on the hassock between then. She gently smiled. "Poor Horatio. You know that if you report to your ship, it may go badly for you all, but if you don't, it may be worse. If you marry Mavis now, you may save her from a fate worse than… and if you don't marry her now, you may spare her from a different type of heartbreak."

She laughed suddenly, truly laughed. "And here you sit discussing it all with your young lady's parents, of all people…poor Horatio!"

"God, you make me sound completely pathetic!" Horatio joined in her laughing; even Edward broke a smile.

"My dear, as always, you have managed to sum up the situation perfectly!" She took the glass from her husband's hand, taking a sip.

"Damned if you do and damned if you don't, Horatio. What on earth are you going to do?"

The laughter faded to nothing and his expression grew serious again.

"I'd marry her tomorrow if I thought that would make her happy."

Sophie exchanged a look with Edward. "It would. Is it what would make you happy, though?"

"The only thing stopping me is not knowing …Renown is the …I'm not sure about…that part of things."

Edward spoke up. "You're an officer on a ship of war during wartime. We both are and we both understand and accept whatever risks are involved. They're not an excuse to cut your self off from life, though, Horatio. Sophie understands this, so will Mavis."

He was lost in thought for a few moments. Shaking his head, "But she's only sixteen, and…"

Sophie, finally annoyed, had enough of his indecision.

"And you've known that since you arrived here. You certainly didn't let it stop you last night. That's just an excuse, and you know that as well as we do. Now you'll marry the girl this week, or make good your promise when you get back. Either way, you've gotten yourself into this and you will deal with it like the adult and gentleman you are. You were perfectly happy to have the betrothal announced at the Admiral's party and you will not embarrass Edward now by reneging. Am I making myself clear?"

He knew when he was cornered. "Yes, Lady Sophie, of course. You're absolutely right."

"Good." She rose and without a backwards glance left the room to finish checking on the tea preparations.

Edward spoke quietly. "She's right, you know. But I won't allow you to marry her just out of obligation. If you're not going to be happy together, I'd rather you didn't go through with it."

"I do love her, and I do wish to marry her, sir."

"But….?" He prompted.

"Just what I mentioned earlier, that she will be lonely, that…"

"Yes, that you'll be killed and she'll be left alone. We all know about that, it's simply a fact of your life. Mavis understands this better than you probably believe she does."

Horatio nodded, either in agreement with Edward or what ever was going through his mind.

"If you'll excuse me, sir, I'll speak to Mavis." Pellew shot him a questioning look. "No, it will be all right. I'll ask her when we should marry."

Nodding to the Captain, he left the room.

Sir Edward sat unmoving, lost in though. God, don't let him be killed.

Sophie walked back into the study a few minutes after Horatio had left.

"Was I too hard on him, Edward?"

"No. He needed to hear what you said to him. He'll do the right thing."

She sat back down on the hassock, her arms across her chest, hugging herself. "I never thought that he wouldn't. He's scared to death and doesn't want any of us to see it. He's afraid that he'll disappoint you."

"Yes, I know that, and that Mavis will be hurt if he doesn't come back." Edward smiled gently to himself. "When we were on the Indy, I would sometimes pretend that he was my son. I would try to think what advice I should give him, how I could steer him on the right course."

She picked up Horatio's untouched glass of port, sipping it. "He never mentions his real family, why is that?"

"From what I understand, his mother died when he was a child and he's estranged from his father for some reason. Has been for years. I can't comprehend that. How could a man not rejoice in a son like that?"

"Have you ever met the father?"

"No, I haven't. It's not uncommon for a man's family to want to see their son or their husband's ship, but his never has that I know of."

"Do you think that he'll be informed of the betrothal or the wedding?"

Edward took her hand. "Perhaps as the mother of the bride you might write a letter?"

She smiled then leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You really are very sweet, you know."

"It shall remain our secret, madam."

"Would you really want to be married this week? You were so adamant about waiting."

Horatio tightened his arms about her as they stood where he had found her before the fireplace in her room. "Well, since we've started the honeymoon, I don't see any reason why we shouldn't."

She was blushing. "We seem to have no secrets, do we? Papa didn't threaten you with one of his swords, did he?"

"Just a small dirk." He kissed her lightly. "This is Tuesday already. I must be back aboard on Monday night. How long will it take to make the arrangements?"

She looked up at him, trying to gauge his true feelings about all that had happened in the last few days. Smiling and shrugging at his question she said, "I've no idea. Mama will know, she's so good at things like this. Between her and Preston, I suspect that we'll just be swept along with the tide."

Horatio nodded his acceptance of the inevitable. "I'm sure that will be the easiest for all concerned. Shall we go tell them so the maelstrom can commence?"

Mavis hugged him again, even tighter this time. "Dearest." She seemed embarrassed by her use of the endearment. He smiled his encouragement at her as she continued. "You're not just agreeing to this because of last night, are you? Because if that's the reason, there really is no…"

"Mavis. I love you; I want us to be married. It's as simple as that."

She began to cry. "Mavis? Have I said something wrong? Would you rather wait?"

She shook her head. "No, you don't understand. I've wanted to marry you since I was eleven. You were so kind to me. The first day I saw you on Gibraltar, I thought that you were the most handsome man I'd ever seen. You were the first man to pay any attention to me and you were always so patient, answering all of my questions and writing me letters. You never treated me like a child, so it was easy for me to pretend that you were mybeau. I've pretended for so long that now it's hard for me to believe you actually have your arms around me and that we're talking about our wedding."

He smiled, amused that he had been the object of her…anyone's…fantasies. That was certainly something that had never occurred to him before.

"I don't think that we could have become friends if you had been older then." He blushed. "You're the only sweetheart I've ever had. I've always been awkward with young ladies. It's only because you were so young when we met that I could behave normally around you without becoming tongue-tied."

She reached her arms up to circle around his neck.

"When I saw you that night at your parents party, if I hadn't realized who you were, I could never have spoken to you. I'd have been too embarrassed."

Mavis laughed at him, kindly. "All the girls had their caps set for you from the moment you walked in the door, didn't you know that?"

He was blushing several shades deeper now, becoming self-conscious. "Papa says that you don't know your own worth. Sometimes he says that he used to despair because of it, that you never give yourself due credit."

"Mavis, I really…"

"He's right. You seem to think that everyone else has more value than you do." She took one hand from around his neck and caressed his cheek. "You are everything I want. I've loved you since I was a child and nothing could ever make me stop. When you're at sea, never forget that."

He turned his face slightly, kissing her hand. "I never shall, I promise."

My dear Doctor Hornblower, 1 March 1801

Please forgive my forwardness in writing to you, however I know that you will wish to be informed of the imminent marriage of our beloved daughter, Mavis to your son, Horatio.

The ceremony is expected to take place here in Portsmouth later this week, in all likelihood, this coming Friday evening.

We greatly hope that you will be able to attend and it would give my husband and I the greatest pleasure if you would do us the very large honor of being our guest while you are here.

We have become so very fond of Horatio over the past few years and this natural development between the two young people has brought us much happiness already, as I'm sure that it will you. We so very much look forward to making your acquaintance and know that the joining of our families will be filled with joy.

I have sent our carriage for you convenience, and I do so hope that you will be in it when it returns to us.

With all my warmest regards,

Lady Sophie Pellew

As they sat down to tea, Mavis and Sophie were absorbed in the details of the wedding.

"Friday evening will be perfect, Mama, that will give us a few days to prepare and still let Horatio and me have a couple of days after to ourselves to rest a bit. I think that the conservatory would be best, don't you?"

"Yes, I agree, dearest. We can bank the candles all around the sides and there are already plenty of flowers there, so that will simplify things."

"What shall we serve for refreshments…"?

The conversation passed both Edward and Horatio by. They were completely left out of the planning and were glad of that fact. Only occasionally would a comment be directed to one of them.

"Horatio, your dress uniform, will it need a cleaning after the Admiral's party the other night? I'll see to it, don't concern yourself."

"Edward, love, you must let me know this evening which officers are to be invited. I need to have some idea of the numbers we'll be expecting."

"Horatio, do you have any friends we should include?"

"The officer's of Indy and Renown, and perhaps we might have my division, also." He looked over to Mavis as she smiled in happiness at his remembering that she had wanted them there.

"Mama, I can wear my new gown from the party, don't you think?"

"Yes, dear, you looked lovely in that. The color suits you perfectly."

And so the planning went on. Sir Edward and Horatio realized that they were superfluous to the discussion and removed themselves to the conservatory for a game of chess. The ladies too busy to notice their absence.

The two women turned to the planning, getting everything fairly squared away but the time the candles were beginning to gutter. Both were tired but pleased at what they had accomplished. They had spent hours on the planning and organizing along with Preston and Cook If all went according to plan it would be a lovely ceremony, followed by a simple but elegant dinner and reception. Pleading exhaustion, Sophie went to bed.

Finding Mavis alone at the dining room table where they had been working, Horatio took her hand and led her upstairs. "You need sleep, come along."

Reaching the green door of her bedroom she leaned against him and answered, "I need to sleep with you."

Caressing her forehead and cheek, smiling slightly, he nodded as he whispered, "Yes."

Several of the invitations were delivered to Renown early the next morning. One was addressed to Ship's Bosun Matthews and Bosun's Mate Styles.

"What's that, Matty? You getting love letters now?"

"All right, all right. That's enough of that, if you don't mind." Breaking the seals he looked at the contents. He could read, but slowly. Seeing his frown, Styles asked him if something was wrong.

"Well I'll be damned. This seems to be an invitation to a weddin this coming Friday night. It seems that Mr. 'Ornblower is up and marryin Commodore Pellew's daughter…and we're invited!"

"Ah, come on. Wot does it really say?"

"That's the God's honest truth. The whole bleedin division is invited tolet's see here." He read hesitantly. "Join us in the cele…bration of the marri…age of Miss Mavis Pellew and Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower. At seven o'clock."

"Cor! That'll be classy. Wot are they doin inviting us for?"

"It gets better. It's at Pellew's home. And there's a note here on the bottom of the page. 'Miss Mavis has asked for you spec…ially to be included. Ornblower.' My word."

"Well, we're in the chinks now, Matty!"

Early the next morning, earlier than usual as there was so much to do, the elder Pellew's were enjoying their breakfast. They were alone in the dining room.

"You know that they spent the night in her room again. Do you want to say something to him or just let it go?"

"I don't really see what possible difference it makes, Sophie. They're getting married in two days anyway and then he's leaving for a number of months if not longer. They might as well spend what little time they do have together."

Calmly nodding her agreement, she turned her attention to her breakfast.

"I hope to have some sort of a count by late this afternoon. We must start getting the food in so that the kitchen staff can get to work on it all."

Edward was looking over the guest list. "It seems that you largely just repeated the list for our party last week."

"Yes, that is what I did, with a few additions. It seemed to be the easiest. They're all our friends and they would be the ones who are in town, most likely. Mavis had asked that Horatio's division be included. Will that be a problem, do you think?"

"He has them well trained, they won't do anything they shouldn't, I'm sure. Likely they will stay in the background when confronted by the amount of gold lace that will be there."

"Sawyer has to come, doesn't he?"

"Of course. He's Horatio's commanding officer. No way around it, I'm afraid."

"I suppose not." She seemed resigned. "He's just so awful."

"I've no doubt that you can cope, my dear."

Preston came into the room to begin clearing. "Excuse me, M'am. Should we just leave the other breakfast things here for when Miss Mavis and the Lieutenant come down or would you rather that we cleared?"

Looking at him for a moment, she finally said, "Please clear, but would you have Cook make up a tray for two and have it taken up to Miss Mavis' room when it's ready?"

He nodded, his face completely bland. "Of course."

"And please do be sure that the coffee is fresh when it goes up. Thank you, Preston." He left the room to pass on the request.

"Breakfast in bed? I'd say that's above and beyond as an understanding parent, my dear."

"In for a penny, in for a pound." Smiling became laughter as she threw her napkin at him.

Horatio rolled over, sliding his arms around Mavis next to him, still sleeping. He didn't really want to wake her, but he couldn't bear to not touch her. They were warm and comfortable and had probably slept longer than they should have. He knew that he shouldn't have given into the temptation of joining her last night, but how could he not? He was leaving so very soon.

Sighing, he gently ran his hands down the length of her, feeling the softness of her body, so unlike his own.

Sleepily she opened her eyes, turning her face to his. Smiling she asked, "Again? Haven't you had enough for one night?"

He kissed he deeply. "Never."

"Your beard scratches."

"Forgive me."

He was about to move over her when they heard the footsteps outside her door. "Did you latch it?"

"I don't remember, did you?"

The door quietly opened as they as nonchalantly as possible slid slightly apart, his arm still around her; her head nestled against his shoulder.

"Good morning, Miss Mavis, Sir." Preston put the tray on the small table next to the bed. "I have eggs, toast, ham, potatoes and coffee here. Would either of you like anything else?"

"Perhaps some hot water in a few minutes, if you don't mind."

"Certainly, sir. I'll send someone up shortly." Bowing slightly, he turned and left, closing the door behind him.

The two looked at each other before exploding in laughter.

"It seems that they think that it's time for us to get up."

"That was my mother's doing. I'm sure of it. Papa would have never have thought of it on his own."

Still laugh, they settled in to breakfast on the bed, feeding each other and laughing. After a short while, the maid arrived with hot water for them both.

Finished eating, Horatio rose and pulled his clothing on. Leaning in to kiss her one more time, he went across the hallway to the guest room to wash and put on a fresh change of clothing. While he was gone, Mavis had begun dressing when Sophie knocked softly and let herself in.

"Might we talk for a few minutes, Dearest?"

Mavis was wearing just her wrap. Her mother moved behind where she was seated at her dressing table and taking the brush from her hand, began grooming the long hair herself.

"I used to do this when you were a little girl. Remember? I was always after you to tidy your hair, it was forever coming lose."

Mavis smiled at her in the mirror, nodding. "I always loved when you did my hair. You were always so good at it. I was such a little ragamuffin."

"I only minded when you tore your dresses. Is everything going well with you and Horatio?"

Mavis met her eyes in the mirror. She smiled, blushing. "He's so wonderful, Mama."

"I know that your father is happy about the way things have worked out with you two. So am I, Sweeting. You're so very good together."

"He's very much like Papa, isn't he? So smart and honest. Papa says that his men are more loyal to him than any other young officer he's ever seen."

"Yes, he's very special. We all know that."

"I had an odd thought last night." She looked embarrassed about that admission. "I was looking at his hands, he was…touching me." She blushed and looked as though she might not continue, but managed to go on. "I thought how very gentle he is and how kind, but at the same time, I know that he's used those same hands to kill people. I have such trouble imagining him fighting, cutting and stabbing with his sword or shooting a gun, but I know that he does that. I know that he's ordered men to do things that have gotten them killed and that he's given orders that have killed Frenchmen and Spanish."

She looked at Sophie again. "It's almost like there are two of him, the kind gentle man I'm going to marry, and some stranger who kills when need be."

"Yes, I've had the same thoughts about your father. It's difficult to understand how they can separate the different parts of their lives as they do."

With no warning, Mavis suddenly was grabbing at her mother, hugging to her fiercely and sobbing, crying uncontrollably.

"Dearest! Tell me, what is it? Please!"

"I heard him talking with Papa. Horatio admitted that Captain Sawyer would kill him if he thinks he can get away with it. He won't talk to me about it, just says that he'll be fine…but he won't. You know as well as I do that a ship's Captain is in complete control of his ship. He can do whatever he wants, and no one will be able to stop him."

"That's not true, you know that. There will be other officers on the ship watching and you know that Horatio will be as careful as can be. You know that he will. He's smart and he has the loyalty of his men. That will count for much."

But Mavis wasn't interested in being placated. Her crying stopped almost as suddenly as it began. Her cheeks still wet and still clinging to Sophie she calmly spoke. "I know that he'll be killed. I feel it. That's why I decided to share his bed. It's the only thing that I have to give to him. I wanted him to haveme before he left." She drew back to look up at her mother. "Was that a terrible thing to do…I wanted him, too."

"No, Sweet. I did the same thing once when your father was about to go back to sea. It's all right. You did what any woman who is in love would do."

"Will it be so terrible if I have a child?"

Sophie had a small smile on her face and shook her head "No."

Tightening her arms around her, quietly Mavis said, "Thank you, Mama."

TITLE: Family

Family

Chapter Six

By mid morning the acceptances had begun to trickle in. Although the wedding was on short notice, that was often the way of it in the military during wartime, and people were used to responding in a timely fashion.

"Sophie, I was about to take the carriage and I've been informed that it's been sent on an errand to some village in Kent. Would you know anything about that?"

She answered without looking up, busy with her lists. "Umm, yes. I sent it to fetch Horatio's father. It should be back later tonight, I would think. Oh, I forgot…Preston! Please see to it that the other guestroom is prepared for this evening, if you would."

"Yes, M'am."

"Thank you, Preston. Edward, are Mavis and Horatio still in the conservatory?"

"Horatio went into town, to look for a ring, I believe. I've no idea where Mavis has gotten herself off to. Do you need her at the moment?"

"Um, no, not really." She was still studying her lists. "Has he mentioned to you who will stand up with him? I really should get in touch with whomever it is he decides on."

Edward sat down to look over the morning paper while he waited for a hired rig to be brought round. "No, he hasn't mentioned anyone to me. I would think that he'd ask Kennedy. He seems to be Horatio's closest friend."

Sophie looked over at her husband. "Kennedy?" She was trying to place the name. Ah! It came to her. "That handsome young blonde who was one of your junior officers on the Indefatigable? Is that the one?"

Bemused by the description, Edward simply nodded. Thinking better of a nonverbal answer he added, "I believe that he's a Lieutenant on Renown now with Horatio."

"Nice that they're still together. Give them each someone to talk to during off hours."

"Yes, I suppose. Does Horatio know that you've sent for his father?"

Sophie stood up, gathering her things in preparation for moving somewhere else. "I haven't mentioned it to him specifically, but I would think he'd assume I'd invite the man. Why do you ask?"

"I thought that I'd mentioned that they are estranged. It could well become awkward—we don't know what the cause is or how deep the rift goes."

Refusing to see a problem, Sophie replied, "Oh, really, Edward. They're father and son. What better time to renew their relationship than at the wedding of an only child."

"To a young woman he's never met in the home of complete strangers." He was about to start reading again when he had a thought. "You know, you could have simply have put the Doctor in the room Horatio is nominally occupying…save on linen. I doubt that it would be too crowded."

Giving him a look that told him exactly what she thought of his logic and concerns, she walked out to cope with another of the hundreds of details involved in a wedding.

Horatio was down on the quay while the Pellew's conversation had been going on. He had gone down straightaway after leaving the house. Seeing Styles sitting on a bale of hay for the ship animals, he approached the man.

"Good morning, Styles. By any chance would you know if Mr. Kennedy has reported back aboard the ship."?

Looking blearily at his officer, he tried his best to focus, despite the thundering headache he was attempting to ignore. "Can't say that anyone has seen him, sir. If he's back, he hasn't reported onto the ship that I know of."

"Thank you, Styles." He turned away, disappointed. Archie had gone up to London to see some of his family and to get away from Renown, evidently he was drawing it out as long as he could.

"Sir? Begging your pardon, wot's this we 'ear about you getting married? You don't really want the likes of us there, so you?"

He turned back, amused. "Yes, I'm getting married the day after tomorrow and Miss Mavis and I would both very much like the entire division to be there, if you'd like to attend."

Styles looked him over, blunt as ever. "Wot would the likes of us do with all them gold braid officers who'll be there, Mr. 'Ornblower?"

Horatio had been afraid of this. "You needn't come if you'll feel uncomfortable. Mavis is very fond of you all, especially you and Matthews, as is Commodore Pellew. I'm sure that you'll be able to find a room where the gold braid will leave you alone." He smiled slightly, understanding the thoughts of being out of place.

Nodding and returning the small smile he returned, "Yeah, I guess that we'll be there, sir. Should be somethin to see, all them Admirals and such. I ain't ever been in a Commodore's house before."

"Good." He laughed once. "I'll be happy for some friendly faces myself." He turned to go.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Styles?"

"Your marryin Miss Mavis, and her bein Commodore Pellew's daughteryou think there's any chance of you getting transferred off Renown now?"

Horatio knew why he was asking. The men all knew of Sawyer's hatred for him. "No, I think not. At least not until after this next voyage."

Styles nodded, understanding what this could mean. "We'll see ya Friday night, then, sir."

Nodding, Hornblower left the dock.

Going to the small jeweler's shop that Sir Edward had recommended, Horatio was surprised at how easy it had been to select a ring. It was a simple gold band, half an inch wide. It might be too wide for her finger, but Mavis had said that living in a Navy town, she wanted to be sure the sailor's knew from a distance that she wasn't available.

The sizing was simple, too. Joking, she had put a ring she had worn at her parent's party on his hand, teasing him with it. Her ring had fit perfectly on his little finger. Her wedding band was sized to his hand. After deciding on the inscription, he told the proprietor that he would return the next day to pick it up.

As he was in the shop, Horatio had failed to notice that watching, staring at him through the window had been Captain Sawyer, leaving before the Lieutenant had finished his business.

While Horatio was in town and her father had been waiting for a hired coach, Mavis had been busy writing letters up in her room.

Dear Dr. Hornblower, (the first one read)

I hope that you don't find me too presumptuous in writing to you like this, but I wish you to know how very happy Horatio and I are together. We've known each other for five years now, and I think that I fell in love with him the first day I saw him.

We will be married in just two days and two days later he will leave to go back to sea.

I know that I will miss him so very terribly.

I hope that we might write to each other, you and I. I would so much like us to become friends. You are Horatio's father and to have raised him, you must be a special man yourself. I hope that you will come to see me as your daughter, and not just as your son's wife.

I hope that we might be able to comfort each other while he is gone and perhaps share any news we might receive of him when he is away.

He is so wonderful to me, kind and gentle. He must have learned that from you.

I am so very glad that you will be able to see our marriage. It will mean so much to both Horatio and me to have you here with us.

With affection,

Mavis Pellew

She sanded and blotted the paper. Well, at least she hoped that the Doctor would attend. Mama had sent the carriage, after all. She knew that she probably should have told Horatio that his father had been sent for, but the very few times that she had mentioned him, Horatio had frozen her so completely that she had changed the subject.

Well, she would leave the letter on his pillow and if he didn't come to the wedding, she would rewrite it and sent it to him in Kent. She wanted to get to know the man.

She began the next letter, to be placed in Horatio's kit when he left so that he would find it at sea. She would write several letters to him, she had decided, so that they would be there when he unpacked on the ship.

My dearest Horatio,

Soon my husband in name and not just in fact.

I wanted to tell you my thoughts now, so soon before our marriage but all I can think to write is that I love you.

I love your smile when I've surprised you by kissing you awake and I love the way your hair curls in your queue.

I love that you are taller than I am and so strong.

I love that your eyes are so beautiful.

I love your hands, so much more graceful than my own.

I love to watch you when you're asleep and you're peaceful and relaxed.

I love that you won't let me win at chess when we play, but that you make me work to beat you and then you don't mind when I have.

I love to find that you are looking at me when you think I don't know.

I love to look at you when you're unaware.

I love how you look in your uniform.

I love how you look out of your uniform.

I love that your voice is calm and that you never have need to raise it.

I love your kindness and that you are gentle and I love that your men love you as they do.

I love that you try to protect me from fearing for your safety.

I love that you fear for mine.
I love that my parents wish you for their son.

I love that we will have children together.

I love holding you in my arms all night.

I love that you love me.

Dearest Horatio. I promise that you will never have cause to regret marrying me.

I do love you so.

Your Mavis

She sealed this one tightly. It seemed too precious to chance someone else reading it.

She moved on to the next.

Dearest Mama and Papa,

I wish to tell you how very precious you both are to me. Your acceptance of Horatio and me has been such a joy to me that I fear that I lack the words to truly tell you how much it does mean.

I know that you both think that I am too young to be marrying and that you both wish that we would wait. I know this and so your letting us go ahead is so important. I know with all my heart that Horatio and I will be so terribly happy together.

I do love him so very much.

When I first met him back on Gibraltar I knew that he would become important in my life and I'm glad that when I told you this, Mama, you never thought to laugh at me. I know that you thought it was just a child's crush.

I know that I am young, but my feelings for him have never been just a crush or a passing fancy. I think that I've been spending the last five years growing up so that we can be together.

I'm so happy that you both also love him. He is such a special man.

When I found out that he had been taken prisoner, I didn't believe that I could bear that pain, not knowing if he were dead or alive or if he'd ever be freed. I don't know what I would have done if he had not been released safely.

I know that he will go back into danger when he goes back aboard Renown. He tries to tell me that it is nothing and that he will return in a few months safe and sound.

I fear for him leaving on that ship where he may come to harm, but I trust that he will be well. I must believe this

I am so frightened, but I have to believe that he will be well.

He is so strong, how could he come to harm? He will return to me safely. I know that he will.

You have both been so good about letting us have this little time together. I love you both even more for that.

Your loving daughter,

Mavis

By the time that Horatio had gotten back to the Pellew home, it was close to teatime. Going upstairs to have a quick wash, opening Mavis' door he saw that she seemed to be taking a nap stretched out on the bed.

As he sat on the edge of the mattress, the movement woke her. She turned her face towards him as her eyes opened and gave him a gentle sleepy smile. He put his hand on her cheek.

"Still tired? You could go back to sleep."

"No, I'm awake now." Her arms came up to his arms, pulling him down to her. She started kissing him, he was returning her kisses and they were going too far too fast. Her hands were inside his shirt, stroking his skin and he was quickly becoming aroused.

"Mavis, no, not now. The door is open and your parents are around here somewhere. It's almost time to eat."

She stopped without releasing him, holding him tightly. "We have so little time." It was said against his neck.

"I know." His arms tightened around her as she lay under him.

They began kissing again. Saying nothing and without warning he suddenly got up, crossed over to the door, closing and latching it.

He returned to the bed and Mavis.

"Should I call Mavis for tea, Edward? She's just up in her room."

He looked spooned some sugar into his tea. "No, I'd leave her. I'm sure that she knows what time it is."

"Horatio's not here, either."

"He came in about half an hour ago. I heard him go upstairs."

"Oh." She buttered her scone.

About an hour later Horatio found Sir Edward in his study reading some dispatches.

"Sir, I was wondering if you might know where Mr. Bracegirdle could be found?"

He looked up and peered over his glasses at the young man. "He's usually to be found staying with his brother just outside of Portsmouth, why do you ask?"

"Well, since Archie seems to still be with his family in London I fear that he won't receive word of the wedding in time to be my supporter. I was hoping that Joss would be willing to step in."

"I'm sure that he'd be honored to do so. Why don't you write him and we'll send it off straight away. Use the desk here, if you'd like."

Horatio sat down and began to write as Edward went on with his reading. After a few minutes he spoke up.

"Horatio, have you given any thoughts to what you will do about providing for Mavis after the wedding? I assumed that she would continue to live here, of course. After all, there's no reason for her not to. Plenty of room and she and Sophie will keep each other company. But still, you'll want to do something for her, I would think."

He was looking at the Commodore. "Yes, I'd been thinking about that. I agree that her staying here is the most reasonable place under the circumstances. I thought that I'd arrange with the paymaster to give her two thirds of my pay."

"Well, leave yourself enough for your own needs. You'll have food to pay for on the ship and the occasional new shirt or tot of rum ashore."

He was smiling. "I'll be fine, with any luck we might find some prizes and I may make some money at whist…the new officers seem to be a likely lot to me."

Although he privately believed that Horatio was leaving himself quite short, he decided to put a good face on it. "If anyone can, it's you."

They were both working in companionable silence when they heard a carriage pull up in front of the house. They heard the sound of the front door opening and Preston saying that he would see if they were in. Opening the study door, he politely informed them both that Doctor Hornblower had arrived and was in the front hallway, should he be shown in?

Horatio had the look of a man who had just taken a fist to the stomach, pale and slightly nauseous.

He practically hissed to Sir Edward, "My father is here? How in the name of God did he learn about this?"

Edward whispered back, as the door was still open. "Sophie sent for him, obviously. He had to know, he's your father. Now behave and act like an officer and a gentleman." He turned to Preston. "Please show him in and tell Cook that there will be one more for dinner. Also, would you please inform Lady Sophie that the Doctor is here?"

An older man of perhaps sixty-five, tall and thin entered the room behind Preston, staring at his son the moment his eyes found him. Horatio spoke first. He was polite but completely detached, as though introducing a stranger.

"Father, how good to see you again. May I present Commodore Sir Edward Pellew? He is Mavis' stepfather and was my commanding officer when I was posted on Indefatigable. Sir Edward, my father, Doctor Jacob Hornblower."

"Doctor Hornblower, how very good of you to make this long trip on such short notice. I couldn't be more pleased to meet you." He stepped forward, taking the Doctor's hand and gesturing him to one of the chairs by the fireplace. "You must be cold after that carriage ride in this weather, could I get you a brandy, sir?"

"Yes, thank you, that would be appreciated." He turned his attention back to his son. "You look well, Horatio. Too thin, but healthy. The navy must suit you."

"It suits me well enough, Father."

"Is this wedding as sudden as it seems to be? Forgive me, Commodore, but I hadn't heard from my son that he even had a sweetheart, let alone that he was planning to marry." Horatio offered nothing by way of response. Finally Edward stepped into the fray.

"They've known each other about five years, sir. They first met when we had put into Gibraltar and have remained in contact ever since."

Jacob nodded without saying anything. The silence was becoming awkward.

Suddenly Sophie opened the door, "Doctor Hornblower! How very wonderful you are to come all this way!" He rose to greet her and she immediately kissed his cheek. " I've so been looking forward to meeting you and Mavis has spoken of almost nothing else for days. Horatiowhy didn't you tell us that you and your father are the spitting images of each other? I'd have known you as his father anywhere, Sir."

Forcing a small smile, Horatio said, "If you'll excuse me for a minute, I'll see what's keeping Mavis." Before anyone could object, he was out the door.

As he left the three older people alone together, Jacob commented, "My son doesn't seen particularly happy to see me. Perhaps it would be better if I were to offer my good wishes and then return home. I've no desire to ruin his wedding day for him."

"Absolutely not, I won't hear of it Doctor. He's just surprised, is all. There is quite a lot going on here at the moment and I fear that your son may be stretched to his limit. We'll have him calmed down before you know it. And if we don't, Mavis certainly will."

His smile was grateful. "You're very kind, madam. I'm afraid that Horatio and I are not—close. I fear that we are almost strangers to one another."

"He's a wonderful young man, you've every right to be proud of him, sir."

"Thank you, Commodore, that's kind of you to say." The old man seemed resigned in his relationship with his son. He wore his sadness about him like a well-worn coat.

"Please, call me Edward … Horatio is one of the finest officers I've had the privilege of working with in all my years in the Navy. I don't say this lightly. He'll go far, I've no doubt of that. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he were to pass me by, in time."

The piercing dark brown eyes, which he shared with his son, appraised Edward. "He's that good? He always was bright, of course, but I never thought the military would really suit him. I'm pleased to hear that he's doing well. I feared that sending him to Keane would prove to be a mistake."

"Justinian had...problems. Fortunately, most of the men who were aboard her are fine now."

Jacob seemed thoughtful. "It seems that you know my son better than I do, sir…no, please, don't protest. I may be old, but I'm neither blind nor stupid. I would like to know him better through you, if that might be possible."

Sophie joined in, "Doctor, Horatio is a kind and gentle young man. He and my daughter are deeply in love and will, I've no doubt, have a happy life together. My husband can tell you about the young officer he knows from his ship, but I can tell you about the young man who I gladly give my daughter's keeping to."

Jacob seemed wistful and sad. "When Louisa—Horatio's mother died I felt that my life also ended. I couldn't face raising the boy alone and so sent him away to school when he was six. At first it was my decision which kept him there, then after a few years he no longer wanted to come home." He looked from one of the Pellew's to the other. "And now it's as though I have no son. I know he feels that he has no father." He paused to take a sip of his brandy. " I would very much like to hear what both of you know of him. Perhaps later we might have time to talk at length."

Edward put his arm around Sophie's waist. "Of course. Perhaps we might have Horatio join us."

They heard laughter in the hallway and the two young people entered the study. Horatio's face assumed the expressionless mask the instant he saw his father, but Mavis practically leapt across the room to greet him. He saw that she was lovely with dark hair and eyes, much like Horatio. She seemed to be very young.

"Doctor Hornblower! I'm so very, very happy to meet you at last!" and her arms were around him in a hug. "You must be wonderful to have raised Horatio. I know that I'll love you as much as I do him."

Preston silently entered the room, moving over to Sophie and murmuring into her ear.

"I'm told that dinner is ready, shall we go in?"

7/2/02

Family

Chapter Seven

The dinner was as awkward as any the Pellew's could remember.

Sophie and Mavis trying to keep up a steady stream of conversation with Sir Edward doing his part to keep things rolling while the two Hornblower's maintained a mutual silenceat least between themselves. Jacob did his level best to respond to the questions that came his way and to enter into the conversation and to contribute to it. Horatio, however, was hard pressed to put more than two words together in a sentence. He seemed to be studying his father, much as a scientist would study a specimen under a microscopewatching his reactions to the talk and his surroundings. Even Mavis could barely get a smile from him.

Finally after the cheese had been served, Edward suggested that they adjourn to the parlor for a hand or two of whist.

"That would be a treat, Sir Edward. Horatio, do you still play as you used to?"

"I'm afraid that I haven't time this evening, sir. If you'll excuse me, I've much to do with the wedding so close."

By now becoming fed up with his recalcitrance, Mavis interrupted. "But Horatio, I'd be happy to take care of whatever you have to do. I'm sure that you'd enjoy a game with my parents and your father. You're so good at whist." She smiled sweetly ay him, all innocence.

"I believe that you asked me to help you with some of your lists earlier, did you not?"

"I can take care of them. You go ahead and play. I'll be fine." Kissing his cheek, she left him alone with the other three.

"Well, then, shall we move to the other room?"

Reluctantly and with no real choice, Horatio joined the others in one rubber before begging off, pleading complete exhaustion.

After he had left the room, his father sagged into his chair. Sophie had started to make apologies for the young man, mentioning how hectic the week had been and that he would be leaving so very soon after the wedding. Jacob cut her off. " No, you're very kind, Lady Sophie, but I fear that Horatio hates me now as he has for years. I must beg your forgiveness for bringing discord to your home at what should be a happy time for you all. We have never been close and I fear that he sees me as a stranger, or worse. I doubt that the breech between us will ever be mended. It's gone on too long and is now too wide to span"

"That doesn't sound at all like the young man I know, Doctor." Edward looked genuinely confused. "I've never met anyone so fair minded as he is. I can't believe that he would carry a grudge as you say, no matter what the cause might have been."

"This evening's proof to the contrary."

"Might there be anything that we could do to help, sir?"

"Lady Sophie, you're very kind, but…"

"Sophie, please. I'm not just asking for your benefit. Mavis will need all the support possible after his ship leaves on Monday. If she is forced to carry the weight of your estrangement, I know that it will be more difficult for her. I am thinking of her as well as you and Horatio."

"Yes, of course you are." He managed a wan smile at her. "Forgive me, but she is quite young, isn't she?"

"She's sixteen."

"And Horatio is now twenty four. Eight years. That's the same age difference which existed between Horatio's mother and myself." He seemed gone away in his own thoughts for a few moments. "We were so very happy. And then after Horatio was born, I could hardly believe my good fortune."

Edward spoke quietly. "He's mentioned his mother to me once or twice. I understand that they were very close. I don't believe that he is over her loss even now."

"No, I'm sure that he's not. They were so very alike, not so much in looks as in temperament. He could have been her reborn." He looked over at his hosts. "You see, that's why I sent him away to school for those years. I couldn't bear to have him about. It was like living with her ghost. I simply couldn't bear it."

"But surely after a while you wished to have him back with you, Jacob."

"Yes, of course. I finally left my depression to realize that I missed him dreadfully. I had him sent for. When he returned he was no longer the child he had been…always laughing, full of smiles and teasing. He was a quiet solemn child who rarely smiled and preferred books and solitude to the company of family or friends. I blame myself for that."

"Would you like a brandy, Jacob? I'd very much like to hear what might be done to help the situation."

"Thank you. Yes, perhaps we might arrive at a solution together."

Edward moved over to the sideboard to pour, preparing to settle in for a long spell.

"Horatio, how could you be so horrid to him? He's come all the way from Kent to see us marry and you barely said two words to him."

He looked at her, wanting the whole subject to simply disappear. "I loath him as he loathes me."

She had never seen his face so set or so angry. She wouldn't have thought him capable of such feelings for someone who he should be close to. "But, why?" He was sitting on the edge of the bed, jaw clenched and obviously angry.

"We've always been…he's never…. Mavis, I've never had a father and don't need one now."

She knelt before him, looking up at his face, her hands lightly resting on his knees. Reaching, she put one hand on his cheek, sliding it down to his neck. He could have been carved from stone.

"What did he do to make you feel this way?" He didn't answer her, just sat there, unmoving. "Please, tell me. How can I understand if you won't explain it?" He looked down at her, weighing his options. He knew that she wouldn't give up until she had her answer.

"He blames me for my mother's death. He has since the day she died. Two weeks after her funeral he sent me away to school. I was kept away for over ten years. Two days after I finished school and had finally, finally gone home, I was informed that a position had been found for me on Justinian… Justinian! I left three days later and haven't returned since."

"But why would he blame her death on you?"

He took a breath and turned his head to look out the window, remembering. Turning back to her he spoke in a monotone. "There was a fever that had gone through the village. Father was busy tending his patients. I was told to stay home so that I wouldn't get sick. I went to a friend's house to play anyway. Daniel had gotten sick. Two days later, I had it, too. Mother nursed me. She caught it from me. I lived, she died."

"But you didn't mean to…"

"The day she died I heard him talking in the next room. He said, I still remember this exactly. He said, "It's the fault of that Goddamned child. She'd still be alive if not for that brat."

"But he was upset, you have to know that."

Horatio just looked at her coldly, refraining from replying.

"How old were you when she died?"

"Six."

"…God, Horatio, I had no idea." She laid her head on his thighs, her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. We didn't know." His hands went to her head and her back, lightly holding her. He moved his hands under her arms, lifting her up and pulling her with him as he lay back onto the bed, embracing her.

"I know that you didn't. I know you and your mother were trying to surprise me."

"Please don't be angry."

He smiled at her, sadly. "No, not with you, never." He kissed her, and then sighed. " It's only two days. It will be all right. I'm sorry for how I acted in front of your parents, I'll speak to them tomorrow."

"He didn't mean it, I'm sure. He had just lost his wife…he wasn't thinking clearly."

Horatio's wall had gone up between them. He pulled away from her just enough to establish a distance and closed his eyes.

"Mavis, after this, after he leaves, I'll not see him again. Understand this."

She knew that he meant every word he said.

An hour later Horatio walked into the study in search of either of the two older Pellew's. He had intended to apologize to them about his behavior at dinner and afterwards.

He found, instead, his father sitting by the fire with a book. Jacob looked up at his entrance.

"Forgive me, Father. I didn't intend to disturb you. I was looking for Sir Edward." He started to leave.

"He just left to find Lady Sophie. Horatio, I wish that you would stay." His son looked at him with no emotion, as though accosted on a street by some urchin. Finally he decided to respond.

"Father, I realize that you see this as some sort of rapprochement, but to be honest, I do not. I've no desire to hurt your feelings, but we both know that we may as well be strangers and, I have no desire to alter that fact."

"I've always wanted your happiness, son, I wish that you would believe that. I wish for your happiness now with your young lady. She is charming. Do you know how like your mother she is?"

Horatio simply looked at him mildly, as though he were a teacher giving a boring lecture barely worth listening to.

"If you'll excuse me, I was looking for Sir Edward."

"Wait, please. Won't you even sit with me for a few minutes? You're my son. I would like us to…"

"To what, Father? Be friends?"

"Would that be so terrible?"

Horatio again looked at Jacob as though he were something, to be pitied. "You sent me away when I was six years old. You kept me away for ten years and then you sold me off to the Navy as cannon fodder. In the eight years since then you've written me three times. You couldn't even manage a note when I was released from prison…you did know that I was captured, didn't you?"

Jacob was looking at the carpet, unable to meet his son's eyes and the anger there. "Yes, the Admiralty informed me that you had been taken prisoner and later that you had been set free by the Spanish Government for valor."

"Did they tell you that I had been tortured?"

The doctor looked at him in horror. Horatio continued, as emotionless as before. "No? In hindsight, it was an interesting experience. Not one I would recommend, though."

"Horatio, please. I want to heal the breach between us."

His son was about to retort when Mavis came into the room. Neither man had heard her approach. "I would like you to do so, very much."

Horatio turned to her. Calmly and clearly he said, "This doesn't concern you, please don't involve yourself here."

"Of course it involves me. It concerns you and everything about you matters to me."

"Mavis…I would like you to please leave."

"No. Not until you agree to attempt to meet your father at least half way. If he's to become the grandfather of our child, he has every right to be part of our family, whether you think so or not."

"When that time comes, we can address it."

"It might be here now, and you know that as well as I do."

Seeing the look on Jacob's face, Horatio went white with anger. His voice under tight control he said, "That's enough, Mavis. You've said too much. Leave this room immediately."

Knowing she had truly angered him, she ran out of the room, disappearing around the corner of the hallway.

"So this marriage is occurring because you've gotten that girl pregnant? Is there nothing that you won't do to escape your past?"

"What the Hell are you talking about now, Father?"

"You impregnated that young girl so that you could marry into a powerful and wealthy family which will advance your career for her sake. Are you so ambitious that you'll stoop to that?"

Furious, Horatio maintained his outward calm. "Believe whatever you want. If you choose to stay for the wedding, have the courtesy to stay away from me." He turned and walked out, leaving his father looking into the fire.

Moving quickly down the hall to find Mavis he first encountered Sir Edward coming towards him.

"What is going on? Mavis is collapsed in tears in the conservatory with Sophie and says that you wish to call off the wedding. What have you two quarreled about?"

"I don't want to cancel anything. I'm just going to look for her."

"See that you straighten this out." It was Edward in command mode.

"Yes, sir, I will."

He heard the crying before he entered the room. Sophie was murmuring comforting words and Mavis was responding. He couldn't make out the words, but the intent was clear.

As he got closer he could begin to understand the conversation, or parts of it.

Between the sobs and gulps for air he could make out, "Mama, he was so angry. I've never seen him angry before. He told me to leave; he wouldn't even talk to me. He hates me now, I know that he does."

"Dearest, you know that Horatio loves you. He's upset, that's all. You'll see."

"Oh. Mama, it was so awful."

Lady Sophie saw him standing near them. Gesturing, he came closer. Sophie kissed Mavis' head and gently transferred her to Horatio's arms, moving quietly out of the room and leaving them alone.

"Mavis, can you forgive me? I'm so terribly sorry. I never meant to upset you. Never. Please, stop crying."

She continued weeping, more quietly, but still copiously. "Dearest, please, don't. I'm so very sorry that I've caused this. Please."

She tightened her arms around him, still crying but slowing reducing the sobs to mere hiccups. Her head was against his chest and he began stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry. You had no way of knowing what was between my father and me. I should never have allowed him to anger me as I did. I took it out on you and I was wrong. Please forgive me. Please." He was kissing her, using his thumbs to carefully wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"No. I was the one who was pushing you two together. I didn't know that you didn't get along. It never occurred to me that anyone wouldn't get long with you."

He kissed her and started laughing. "What's wrong?" She looked up at him somewhat mistily. "That has to be the wettest kiss I've ever experienced."

She gave a slight laugh and a rather damp smile.

"Were you serious about him being a grandfather? But it's too soon to know, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's too soon. We can't possibly begin to think on it for at least several weeks and we can't be sure for probably a couple of months."

"You must write me the instant that you know either way. You must promise that."

"Would you be terribly disappointed if I'm not?" She seemed afraid of his answer.

"If you're not then we'll have to keep trying, won't we?" He still had his arms around her and was holding her closely to him.

She pressed her face against his shirt as she asked quietly, "Could we go upstairs and try some more now?"

He smiled. "Whatever you wish, Sweeting."

She turned to look up at him. "That's the first time you've ever called me that."

"It won't be the last."

Preston entered the study where Sir Edward was speaking with the Doctor. "Forgive me, Commodore, but this was just delivered for the Lieutenant. I believe that he has retired for the evening. I thought that it might be important."

"Thank you, Preston. I'll see that he gets it. If you'd like, you may as well tell the staff that they should go to bed themselves. I don't think that we'll be needing anything else tonight."

Nodding and bowing slightly, he left the room, pulling the door closed behind him

Edward looked at the sealed note. He had immediately recognized Bracegirdle's handwriting on the back. Obviously it was the response to Horatio's request. Well, it could wait until morning. He turned his attention back to Jacob. The two of them were in the familiar leather chairs before the fire. Edward wondered how many times he had sat here, talking with friends, sipping brandy as they were doing now. He and Horatio had passed many a pleasant evening there.

"I cannot apologize enough for the discord my being here has caused, Edward. I fear that the hurt I caused my son is too deeply ingrained for him to forgive our past. I wish that weren't the case."

"I'll speak to him in the morning. I don't know that I'll be able to get through to him, but I'll make the effort."

"Well, I can only wish you luck, but he's as stubborn as the day is long."

"Jacob, I don't wish to pry, but what has caused this breach? I know that you sent him away after his mother passed on, but how is it that you never reunited?"

"He was only six when she died. I was distraught and couldn't bear the thought of him being underfoot. When I was ready to have him back, when I could cope with having a child about, he had already turned against me. He believes that I blame Louisa's death on him."

"Did you? Do you?"

"At first I did. I needed to blame someone and he was handy and unable to defend himself. I said things I regret with all my heart. He has never forgotten nor forgiven them."

"How long was it before you wanted him back in your home?"

"Almost three years. By then he hated me. When he came home he would spent the time in his room reading. By the time he was ten he had stopped coming home. He preferred to stay in the dormitory alone to coming home. I would go to get him and he would refuse to come."

Edward refilled their glasses.

"His hatred has grown into a solid wall which I've no idea how to circumvent. When I received Lady Sophie's letter I hoped that he'd had a change of heart."

"Horatio didn't know that he letter had been sent. She simply assumed that he would want you to be here."

Jacob gave him a sadly wry look. "Yes, I suppose that would be a natural assumption."

They were both silent for a few minutes.

"I must admit to some surprise at your allowing them to share a room before the wedding. Forgive me, I certainly don't mean any criticism."

Edward gave a small smile. "That's alright. I think that they're surprised, too, to be honest. I simply didn't see any point in making an issue of it. Horatio is an adult, and Mavis knows her feelings. We likely couldn't have stopped them anyway, were they determined and they will be separated soon enough. I saw no reason to stand on etiquette."

"You're right, of course."

They were silent again for a bit. "You seem to be quite fond of Horatio, almost as though he were your son."

"Yes, I am very fond of him. So is Sophie. He's been almost a member of our family for years now. Does that upset you?"

"I'm glad that he's managed to find a father he does respect. I would rather that it were me, but I'm happy that he's found you and that you seem willing to take him on." He smiled. "He's never been an easy son, even when he was small. Stubborn, opinionated and smart as a whip. He would no more cede a point than jump off the barn roof."

"Then he hasn't changed much."

"He's the image of his mother as far as that goes. She was the brightest woman I ever met, and the most well read. Smarter than me, beyond doubt. Horatio is her son."

"She would not be pleased at how things stand between you two."

"No. But were she here, it wouldn't have happened."

"I'll speak to him tomorrow, as I said. If you'll excuse me, Jacob, I must to bed. I'm afraid that this wedding business is more trying than battle."

"I would think that battle would be an easier day that being caught between Horatio and myself. Good night, sir."

"Edward, did you speak with Jacob?"

"Yes, he seems resigned to the estrangement. I think it's been in place for so long that he's at a loss at to how to cope with it. I told him that I'll speak to Horatio in the morning."

"Do you think that will help?"

"They're both intelligent, reasonable men. I'll do what I can."

"You do know that Mavis is hoping she'll become pregnant before he leaves?"

"I'd thought as much. Well, if they continue as they are, she'll likely get her wish."

"Do you think that she's too young for all of this if he's not even about to lend her support?"

"Sixteen is a reasonable age, I think. Perhaps it would be better if they waited a year or two, but you'll be here and he'll be back now and then. She'll be all right."

He put his arm around her shoulder as they at up against the headboard, kissing her forehead as he did so.

"And then you'll be a grandfather."

"And you'll be a grandmother."

"Oh, God."

"C'mere, Granny." She was still laughing as he extinguished the candle.

"Horatio, please talk to him. Please, for my sake. I can't bear that you two aren't on good terms."

They were lying together in her bed, embracing and warm together.

"Is it really so important to you?"

"Yes, it is. I love my own parents so terribly much that I can't imagine that your feeling you have none when you might have your father."

"I'm older than you, Mavis. I'm well past needing a parent for anything."

"He's not past needing a son."

Horatio turned his head, looking up to the ceiling. "If it matters so much, I'll speak to him in the morning."

She leaned over him, resting on his chest. "Thank you." She slid up, kissing his mouth and bracketing his face with her hands. "You are so good to me."

Their foreplay continued for a few minutes. "You're quite nice to me, too." She nipped him with her teeth, laughing.

7/6/02

Family

Chapter Eight

Much later that night, Mavis woke to Horatio muttering and thrashing. Frightened, she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Horatio?" She could barely make out his mumbled words. He seemed to be apologizing for something, pleadingpromising to make something better. She moved her hand to his forehead, stroking while calling his name again. Unable to wake him, she finally placed her hand firmly on his chest, feeling the tension in the muscles, she calmly spoke into his ear.

"Horatio, wake up. You're having a dream, wake up. It's not real, it's just a nightmare."

His eyes flew open, unseeing. His breath was ragged and he was trembling violently.

"Horatio. It's just a bad dream. You're all right. I'm here. You're fine now."

His eyes moved to her face and slowly seemed to focus as he recognized who she was.

"Oh, God. Forgive me. I didn't mean to…"

"Sshhhh. it's alright. You just had a bad dream. You're fine. You're all right. It wasn't real."

His arms went around her in a death grip. His entire body had a sheen of sweat and he continued to shake badly. Mavis spoke soothingly into his ear, meaningless sounds which slowly began to calm him. His arms still clenched about her, he slowly began to come back to himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mavis. It's been so long since I've had one of these. I thought that I was over them years ago. I'm sorry."

She began stroking his hair, holding him close, using her smaller body to shield his larger one. "Sshhhh, it doesn't matter. You're safe, you're fine. Nothing will harm you here." Startled, she felt tears leaking from his eyes. Gently she wiped them away with her fingers, stroking his face, his cheeks, and his forehead. "Tell me. What was it? Please tell me."

He pressed his head against her, as a child with a skinned knee presses against its mother for comfort, his arms still around her.

"It was my mother's death. I relive it, just as it happened. I hear her in the next room, asking my father to allow her to see me. I was carried in to her and placed on the bed next to her. She held me, kissed my forehead and told me that she loved me. She felt so hot. I remember that. It was the fever. But she seemed like she was burning. I remember that. The heat seemed to radiate from her. And her arms were around me, but she had no strength. I was afraid to hurt her. She seemed so weak, fragile. He hair was loose on the pillow. I remember that. She always wore it up, but it was long, like yours is, and all around her. I remember that it was damp. It was from the fever, I suppose. It was only down when she was in bed. She was so sick."

"Horatio, Sweeting, sshhhh. You're upset, love, it was just a dream." He was lost in his own memories, going on with his nightmare.

"No it wasn't. Don't you understand? I relive it. When she died. I was on her bed for a short while, just minutes and she was embracing me, then she began to cry and my father carried me back to my own bed. I was crying that I wanted to stay with her, I hit him and I think that I was kicking, but he was so much larger than I was and so much stronger. There was nothing that I could do. He put me in the bed and told me to stay there. He left and closed the door. I heard him go back to her and then, just a few minutes later, she died and then he was crying. I heard him. I had never heard an adult cry before, so I crawled out of bed and down the hall to their room. He was kneeling on the floor next to her and holding her hand and crying and she was dead."

Mavis continued to hold him as he went on and on. Stroking his head as he pressed against her.

"I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. I guess that they thought me too young and I was still sick anyway. About two weeks later, I was better then, up and about the house. My father told me that he had decided that I would go to another school, one that would be good for me. I left the next day. It was fifty miles away from our village. I only saw my father on school holidays after that and after the first few years I realized that I was underfoot when I went home, so I stopped going. I just stayed at school. At first the headmaster didn't know that I was still there, but when he found out he would bring me food and give me books to read. I was the only one who stayed during the school breaks."

"How old were you when all this happened?"

"I was six when she died. I think I must have been nine or ten when I stopped going home."

"But didn't your father go to get you?"

"No, he would have someone fetch me—he was busy with his patients. One day I refused to get in the carriage, so they left me there."

Finally, Horatio seemed to have talked himself out, resting quietly curled against her. Moving up further against her, his hand gently turned her face down to his. Kissing her gently, just pressing his lips to hers, he caressed her cheek. Again, again he pressed his mouth to her skin, on her mouth, her cheek, her neck and shoulders. Gently, almost as a parent would kiss a young child for comfort. He both took and gave calmness to her. He moved his body up so that they were lying evenly together, pressed skin to skin from toes to knees to thighs, groins and hips, bellies and torso, shoulders in contact, arms wrapped around each other, kissing tenderly.

"I'll never hurt you, Horatio, I promise that I'll never cause you harm."

"I know that. But I'll hurt you. I don't want to, but I will."

He had pulled back to look at her as he said this last. Not answering him, she returned his look and felt his fear.

That morning at breakfast, despite the bustle of the wedding preparations, the family and their guests were a small island of relative calm.

Sir Edward was, as was his custom, reading the morning paper, Lady Sophie was a gracious hostess to her guests while quietly answering the numerous questions Preston would silently whisper in her ear. Doctor Hornblower was maintaining a pleasant stream of small talk about the locals in his village and Mavis and Horatio were subdued, causing Sophie to wonder if something was wrong between them.

About half way through the meal, the Captain remembered the note that had arrived the night before.

"Horatio, this came for you after you had retired."

Opening it and quickly scanning the contents, Horatio said to the table's approval, "Mr. Bracegirdle has agreed to serve as my supporter tomorrow."

"Good, so things are falling into place. Mavis, are you sure that your new gown is the one you wish to wear? It's lovely, of course, but I fear that everyone will remember it from last week."

"I suppose that some will, but we hardly have the time to have anything new made up. It will be fine, Mama."

"I saw something at Mrs. Whiting's shop last week which might suit you, one of her samples. It looked to be almost exactly the size for you. I've asked her to bring it around this morning, if you don't like it, you needn't have it."

Mavis didn't seem at all interested, but attempted good manners. "Yes, Mama, thank you. I'm sure that it will be lovely."

"And, Horatio, when you're in town today, please get yourself a new shirt if you would. I fear that the cuffs on the ones you own are quite beyond salvage. I'll have them replaced for you before you leave, but I'd rather you found yourself a decent garment to be married in."

Horatio, as uninterested in his garments as his intended, smiled in politeness and nodded his acquiescence. He had to pick up the ring today, and getting out of the house would be a welcome respite from the arrangements that were starting to build to a peak

"Horatio, if you have a few minutes before you're off to town, I'd appreciate you joining me in the study when you're done eating".

"Yes, of course, Sir Edward. I'm done now, if you'd like."

His father's eyes fixed on him, gratefully, he made his escape.

"You look like the very Devil, man. Not having second thought at this late date, are you? Or is Mavis keeping you up till all hours?"

Blushing a bit, "No sir, not at all. I fear that I slept badly. I'm fine. You wished to speak with me?"

They two men sat in the two chairs before the fireplace, now burning with a low fire. The captain took a moment to marshal his thoughts.

"Horatio, I truly have no wish to intrude into your own family, but your father is making an effort at rapprochement and as far as I can see, you've rejected him at every turn since he's arrived."

Horatio was silent, obviously thinking about the man who had, nominally at least, raised him. He took several breaths, seemingly discarding more than one attempt at response. Finally he spoke.

"Mavis wants me to speak with him also. I gather that Lady Sophie would like if I did so, too." Another pause. " I simply can't. I have no idea what to say to the man." He looked as though he expected Pellew to upbraid him, but no rebuke came.

"He's your father, whatever problems may exist between you, that fact remains."

"He sired me, he's no father to me." This was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

"Could you not see him as an old man who is lonely, then?"

"See him as an object of pity?" His expression was bitter. "Any loneliness his lives with is of his own creation." He saw the grim look on Edward's face. "I'll be civil to him for the sake of everyone in the house and the occasion, but I have no desire for more. Perhaps if he had …" He stopped, shaking his head.

"If he had what?"

Horatio had withdrawn into himself again. "Forgive me. I fear that I simply have no desire to have a close relationship with the man. Whatever his own desires in the matter are, my own are that things remain as they are."

Pellew looked as though he were about to say something further, but instead remained silent. There were boundaries that he wouldn't cross.

"If you'll excuse me, sir, I have several errands in town." Rising and nodding to the captain, he turned and walked out. Pellew heard the front door open and close not three minutes later and saw Hornblower walking past the front windows, headed in the direction of the shops.

Several minutes later Sophie found her husband still sitting in the same chair.

"Did you make any headway with him?"

"Not so much as an inch. He is nothing if not stubborn."

She sat down in the chair that Horatio had just vacated. "I spoke with Jacob last night after you were asleep. The poor man. He told me that he was down here looking for a book to read, but I'm sure that he simply didn't want to see Mavis' closed door and know that Horatio was in there with her."

Edward seemed surprised. "You think that he had moral reservations about them being together?"

Sophie laughed aloud at that. "Oh, really, Edward! I'd very much doubt that he cares about that side of things. He seems to be a practical man, for Heaven's sake! I think that he was…I don't know…jealous, I suppose. They're right next door to him and those walls aren't ten feet thick."

Edward raised an eyebrow at this thought. "Jealous of what, then? Their being together?"

"Not that. I think he's sad that Horatio has found someone and will now most likely never really need his father again. It's almost as though it closes a door that Jacob hoped Horatio would still, perhaps, be willing to go through."

"I hadn't thought of it like that." He stood up, gathering some more dispatches that had arrived that morning and needed his attention. " Have you managed to learn what the problem was this morning with the lovebirds? I don't think they said three words all during breakfast."

"Mavis told me that Horatio had the most frightful nightmare. I gather it woke her and then they were talking for quite a long time afterwards. I suspect that they were simply tired."

"A nightmare? That doesn't sound like him."

Sophie made a sympatric face. "My mother used to say that a dream tells you more about yourself than you might like to hear. Perhaps Horatio should listen to himself."

"Edward nodded in agreement. "How is Mavis taking all of this? Is she all right?"

"Mavis is over the moon. She knows that tomorrow she'll marry the young man she's been in love with since she was a child and that he loves her in return. She told me this morning that she wants to become pregnant before he leaves."

"Well, there's no guarantee for that. They've only been…well…for a week or so."

"Aren't you the one who said that once is all that it takes in theory? You know that she wants this."

"You'd mentioned that. I can hardly see how she's going to avoid it at the rate they're going."

"No wonder poor Jacob couldn't sleep." They both began laughing.

"Sophie! You quite shock me."

Mavis was in Horatio's room looking over some of his clothing with an eye to preparing his sea chest when Jacob walked in. She turned, startled.

"Forgive me, my dear. I didn't mean to frighten you. I was merely wishing to thank you for your lovely note the other day. I was touched that you would extend me such a kindness."

She smiled, slightly embarrassed by his gratitude.

"I know that there is some unpleasantness between you and Horatio, but I do hope that we will be friends. I would like that very much."

"As would I." He stood for a moment, as awkward as his son could be in an unfamiliar situation. "I'm so very glad that he has found you, my dear. You both seem to be well suited to one another. I've not seen him so happy in many years. " He paused as he considered his next phrase. "I know that my son has no warm feelings towards me, but I hope, with all my heart, that the time will come when that changes. Though he would scoff, I do love him deeply."

"Actually, I think that he would believe you, I just don't know that…" She faltered.

"That he would care? No, I fear that you are right about that."

"Doctor Hornblower, Horatio is such a good and gentle man, I know that he will come about in his stance towards you. It will take some time, but I believe that he also wants this, though he won't yet admit this."

He smiled at her indulgently, as an older man to a child who thinks that wishing can make something so. "Well, perhaps, my dear."

Horatio had just about finished with his errands, having picked up the ring and a new shirt, when he heard the familiar voice. "Horatio?"

Turning he saw Lieutenant Bracegirdle approaching him from a neighboring shop.

The two men came together with a slap on the younger man's shoulders. "I thought that was you, lad. Holding up till tomorrow, are you?"

Smiling, "Yes, fine. Just finishing up some last minute things."

"And getting away from the center of the storm, perhaps?"

They laughed as Joss suggested, "So, have you had your luncheon yet? What? Up to your old tricks again, are you…it's well past four bells in the midday watch. Well then, come along. I'm not sure, but I think that my main task as your supporter is to see that you stay out of the line of fire the day before…and get enough to eat so that you'll have the strength to do your duty on the morrow."

They headed into a nearby pub known for it's good and inexpensive fare. Finding an empty table they gave their orders for beef stew and tankards of ale.

As they waited for their food Horatio turned to the older man. "I would truly like to thank you for standing with me at such sort notice. It's good of you to do so, Joss."

"I'm honored that you would think of me. I take it that Archie is not available?"

Horatio looked embarrassed. "Well, I think that he went up to London to see his family and…"

"And the wedding is short notice and he won't be back in time? No need to feel strange about it, lad. I know that you two are close friends. I'm sorry for you that he won't be there next to you…he'll be sorry, too, when he hears about what he's missing."

The plates of stew arrived with slices of bread and their ale.

"Your young lady is charming, Horatio. You're a lucky man to have her. And I'm sure that the Commodore is happy with the match as well."

Horatio looked up sharply, judging the intent of the remark. It seemed harmless. "Sir Edward and Lady Sophie have been quite good to me over the years. And Mavis has been like a sister to me since she was a child."

Joss burst out laughing. "I certainly hope that you've changed your perceptions of the lass or tomorrow night will be an awkward affair!"

Turning as red as he ever had, the young man tried to extradite himself from the hole he'd put himself in. Just as he was about to speak another voice cut in between the two friends.

"Ah. Mr. Hornblower and, I believe Mr. Bracegriddle. I glanced through the window as I passed by and received the pleasant surprise of seeing the both of you sitting here."

Both Lieutenants' stood for the superior rank.

"This is Lieutenant Bracegirdle, sir."

"Bracegirdle, yes, of course. Please do forgive me, sir."

Joss nodded at Captain Sawyer who had by now seated himself at their table. "Well, sit back down. You're not going eat your dinner standing are you? No, no, I haven't time to join you for a meal, thank you all the same, gentlemen."

"Might you at least join us in a tankard, Captain?"

"You're more than kind, Mr. Brace-girdle, but I fear that I must be away. I merely wanted to add good wishes to Mr. Hornblower here on his auspicious alliance with the good Commodore. And his lovely daughter, of course. I look forward to the celebration tomorrow, gentlemen. I trust that I'll see you both there."

"Yes, sir, you will."

"Good. Very good. Well, I'm sure that you both have much to do with time growing so short. Again, my heartiest congratulations, Lieutenant. I'll take my leave now, if you don't mind. Until tomorrow."

After Sawyer had walked away, Joss turned back to Horatio. "That was odd, didn't you think?"

"Not particularly for him, no."

Refraining from saying anything else, Bracey simply looked at Horatio in alarm.

"Yes, darling. That gown is simply perfect and fits as though made for you. You must have it. I insist."

Sophie and Mavis were up in the master bedroom with the dressmaker trying on some garments she had brought over to look at.

"But, Mama, it's so expensive. Papa will be furious when he sees the cost of this on top of the reception and the party just two weeks ago and the new draperies and all."

"Sweeting, this will be your wedding dress, so it should be something absolutely perfect and special and wonderful. You will wear it again for dances and dinners for quite a while."

"It is beautiful…"

"And you'll want to enchant Horatio tomorrow evening, won't you?"

Mavis smiled with a glow as though she were lit from within.

"Well, then. It's settled. Mrs. Whiting, we'll take this gown and that lovely sapphire night dress and wrapper, also."

"Mama, no!"

"Hush, darling, it's my present to you. It's almost Navy blue, isn't it? I'm sure that Horatio will like the color, don't you think? Look at this lace around the neck and down the front. It looks like whitecaps on waves, doesn't it? And the pattern in the silk…just like wind rippling over the water." She turned to the woman standing just off to the side. "Mrs. Whiting, just leave these things here and have the bill sent to us. You were so thoughtful to bring these over to us to save us the time today. You're always so kind, I can't thank you enough."

"Oh, Mrs. Pellew, it's my pleasure, you know that. Miss Pellew here will be the prettiest bride in Portsmouth, I'll stake my life on it. You just be sure to be good to your young man now, and you'll both be just fine."

"Thank you, Mrs. Whiting, I know that we'll be terribly happy. He's so marvelous."

The dressmaker smiled as she made her exit…young and in love. Was there anything better?

Mavis threw her arms around Sophie, hugging her tightly. "Thank you, Mama. He is brilliant, isn't he? And you and Papa love him, too. That makes it even more perfect."

"Yes, he's quite an exceptional young man."

Mavis was as happy as Sophie had ever seen her. She looked shyly at her mother.

"I think that I'm going to have a baby. I'm sure of it."

Not really surprised, Sophie said, "But darling, it's too soon to know. You'll have to wait at least a month or two to be sure."

Mavis nodded. "But I'm sure. I can just tell. I can feel it. I knew the minute that it happened. We had…well, you know…before, but it was different that time. I just knew."

Sophie did, indeed know what she meant. She had felt the same way when she had conceived Mavis.

"Have you told Horatio?"

"No. He's asked me to promise to let him know as soon as I'm sure. I wanted to be really positive before I told him. I don't want him disappointed in case I'm wrong."

"That sounds prudent, dearest."

Mavis threw her arms around Sophie once more, dancing her about the room. "But I am sure, Mama, I am."

7/12/02

Family Chapter Nine

As Horatio walked back to the Pellew house he began to think, to reflect on the last couple of weeks and where the next year or two might find him. He had been obsessed with these thoughts for months, but since he had asked for Mavis' hand they seemed to consume him.

He was astonished that he was to be married the next evening. He loved Mavis. He knew that he did. He had loved her for years and the knowledge that his love for her had grown and matured was a source of wonder and joy to him. That she loved him in return filled him with awe.

This was good, what they were doing and what they were about to do. He felt it in every part of himself. There was a quiet certainty about the rightness of it all.

He thought about it and felt content.

And if she were pregnant, what then? He searched his own feelings and realized that beyond the fear for her safety, he was happy about the possibility. He'd never really thought about having children, about being a father, but he now realized that he wished for it with all his heart.

And, he admitted to himself, were he to not return (Oh, say it, he told himself…if you're killed either by the enemy or by that lunatic Sawyer…if you're dead…), then Mavis would have some part of him still. He would give her that, if he could. There was precious little else that he could leave her with.

He would be a father. God! A father.

Pray that he would make more of a success of it than the man who had sired him.

As he walked along he began to dwell on that thought. Would he be a better father than Jacob had been to him? Could he be? He would be away most of the time, at sea. Whether he was absent through his own choice or not was immaterial. The fact was that he would be away, seeing his child, his children only now and then, just occasionally. Probably barely recognizing them, nor would they know him.

Was that really any different than the way he'd been raised?

Yes, damnit, it was. He would want to be with his children. The Doctor had him sent away.

But Jacob had arranged for him to come home for holidays and breaks. He was the one who had refused to enter the coach.

He was the one who had refused to come home.

But Jacob was the one who sent him away.

He was approaching the house. Pausing briefly, he made a decision. Preston opened the door for him, taking his hat and cloak. Thanking the man, he asked if he would happen to know where Doctor Hornblower was at the moment. Why, yes. He's in the conservatory writing a letter.

Thanking the butler, Horatio strode into the glass room. Looking up as Horatio approached, Jacob had a look of apprehension on his face, wondering what was to come.

"Father, could we speak for a few minutes?"

He set his paper and quill down on the small table beside him. "Yes, of course. Please sit with me."

Taking the chair next to his father and turning it to face the older man, Horatio started talking in a low voice, calmly.

"I regret that we are strangers, father. I don't know if it would be possible, but I would like to attempt to reconcile."

Jacob couldn't have been more surprised if Horatio had announced that he had decided to move to the New World and join an Indian Tribe.

His son continued. "I know that our problems seem insurmountable. I think, perhaps, that I've been the main obstacle to our rapprochement, but I would like to make an attempt. That is, if you are in agreement and are also willing."

Jacob stared at Horatio, unable to think how to respond. Finally he found his tongue. "Yes, yes, of course…why on earth have you changed you mind? Just this morning you were implacable in your refusal to even consider the possibility."

"I know that. I realized some things while I was returning from town." He looked out the windows toward Renown in the harbor. "Tomorrow Mavis and I will be married and you must be aware that she may well be with child…. I would like to…" He trailed off.

"You would like to what, Horatio?"

Turning back to his father, "I would like to know what you thought when you sent me away. I can't imagine doing that to my child. I would hear what you think about fatherhood and what was in your mind when you sent me away. I would like to know how you finally came to accept Mother's death and when you decided that you could face me again."

Jacob shook his head. He had been expecting that at some point Horatio would ask him these questions. "I don't know that I have ever come to accept her death. I still…I still reach my hand over to the other side of the bed in the morning when I wake and find myself surprised to find it empty. I'll read a passage in a book and wish that she were there to hear it. I wish that she could see what you've grown to become. She loved you so."

"Do you still blame her death on me?" His voice was quiet.

"I did, for quite a long time. I know now that she would likely have become ill whether she'd nursed you or not. I don't know that anyone could have saved her. I wish to God that she had lived, but I think that it was out of my hands."

Jacob took a sip from the glass of port that was on the table. "I sent you away because I was so deeply drowning in my own grief that I feared that I would do you harm. I feared for your safety. Finally when I could control the darkest of my demons, I wanted you home with me. You are so very like your mother." He paused, taking another sip. "But by then you would have none of me.

Horatio sighed and looked away again. His eyes falling again on Renown.

"Sir Edward thinks that you will go far. He told me that he expects you to have your own ship soon, within a year or two at the most."

"I know."

"He also fears that this next voyage will come to a bad end."

Horatio said nothing, his eyes still on the ship.

"Are you marrying the girl just to make an honest woman of her should you be killed?"

His son looked over at him at this last. "I suppose that's part of it, but I do love Mavis."

Another pause. "The Pellew's are decent people. I'm glad that you've become close to them."

"They've been my family for the last few years. I'm more than grateful to them."

Jacob knew the veiled insult was for his benefit. Horatio had no family of his own, so had found himself a new one. He chose not to rise to what could have been bait. "They are fond of you. Sir Edward obviously takes you for a son."

"Yes." Seemingly at a loss as to where to next go with the conversation, Horatio stood. "Forgive me, but I know that Mavis will want to speak with me about tomorrow. We could talk more later, if you would like."

"I would like that, yes." Nodding, the younger man left the room.

Walking into the room he now shared with Mavis, Horatio found her sitting at her writing desk, bent over a letter. Hearing him enter she turned to smile at him. "You're back."

Crossing to her, he knelt at her side, his arms going about her, his face nestled on her shoulder, his mouth on her neck and throat. "I do love you so."

Her arms around him also, she kissed the parts of his face that she could reach. "And I you." They kissed, deeply and repeatedly. He stopped before they ended up in bed again. He needed to tell her something.

"I spoke to my father just now." She shook her head as though to ask him how and why such a thing could happen.

"When I was walking home this afternoon, I began thinking how I would feel if I were him…if I had a child from whom I was estranged." He ran his finger down from her breastbone to her belly. Even now their child might be growing there. "I don't know if I could bear that."

His arms tightened about her again. "I know that it will be difficult. We are strangers to one another, but I'll try."

"That's all I ask, Sweeting. Thank you."

He looked at her as a smile broke out on his face. A real smile, one full of joy. "Tomorrow you will be my wife."

Her arms around him still, she said, "I am your wife. Tomorrow we'll be married."

Their kissing continued as they moved over to the bed.

Sir Edward walked into the conservatory a few minutes after he had seen Horatio leave the room to go upstairs. He found Jacob still sitting in the large chair, looking thoughtfully down at the ships below. He spoke without removing his eyes from the ship.

"Just how much danger is Horatio going into on this next voyage?"

"The assignment is of no more or less danger than many others."

The doctor looked over at him "That's not what I asked. Will he be killed?"

Edward sat heavily beside the older man. "I don't know. Perhaps."

"He was in here a few minutes ago, wanting to talk with me. He seems to be putting his house in order. I think he expects to die."

The Captain hesitated, not sure of how much to say. "There is a –situation on Renown which could become a problem. I hope that it will not, but the possibility exists. If what could happen does in fact come to pass—yes there could be serious trouble for the men aboard her."

"I see. He seemed like he was trying to say goodbye."

"I hope to God that he's wrong, sir."

"Yes, so do I."

After that, neither man knew what to say.

Sophie found the two men still in the conservatory an hour or so later. Not talking, they were both lost in thought.

"Edward, is something wrong?"

Looking up at her as she stood next to him he took her hand. "No, my dear. We were just talking about Horatio's next voyage and his likely career path in the Navy."

Seeing the look on the faces of both men she added, "You mean if he has a career after he's finished on Renown."

Edward gave her a look known to stop one of His Majesty's officer's at twenty feet. She returned it.

"Forgive me Jacob, but as you two seem to speaking about the reality of the situation, we may as well drop the pretenses. We all know that this marriage is happening now because Horatio might not return and Mavis may well be pregnant."

"Sophie—please."

"Well, we've been dancing around those simple facts for days now. We may as well have it out in the open."

"Forgive me, Lady Sophie. Are you suggesting that they wouldn't marry if not for the circumstances?"

Sophie spoke quietly. "I think that an all likelihood the two of them would have married if both King George and King Neptune stood in their way. I don't think, though, that it would have happened for several more years."

"I see. Then I was not mistaken in thinking that this was happening in some haste."

Edward and Sophie exchanged a look. "No, Jacob. Less than two weeks ago I told Mavis that I wouldn't allow her to marry until she was at least eighteen."

The doctor gave a slight smile. "Evidently you reconsidered."

"After it became obvious that to try to block them would have been pointless."

Jacob addressed the next comment to Edward. "Is that about the same time you consented to their sharing a room under your roof?"

"I, and Sophie, accepted that they would ultimately do as they wished. Horatio is an adult and Mavis is strong willed. There seemed no reason to pretend otherwise. Were we to forbid them, I would think that Horatio would honor that, but they could simply have gone elsewhere. I saw no point in hypocrisy."

"Any circumstances aside—are you happy with the marriage? As we are being honest, have you any reservations?"

"Oh, Jacob—" Sophie crossed over to him, taking his hand in both of hers, "I could wish for no better match for my daughter than your son. He's a lovely young man. He's kind and intelligent and loves Mavis deeply, as she loves him. They will have a good life together."

He was barely able to whisper the next. "But what if he's killed?"

"Then I will be here to help Mavis. She's a strong girl. She'll survive."

"I would very much like to get to know Mavis better. She will be Horatio's wife and if …"He stopped. "If something were to happen, then I would like to still have…I would like to be close to the child, if there is one. If you have no objections."

Sophie answered, his hands still in hers. "Jacob, of course. I know Mavis wants that"

He nodded and smiled his thanks. Attempting to brighten a bit he asked, "Are all of the preparations ready for tomorrow? I've never seen such calm the day before an event such as this…you must be performing a miracle, Lady Sophie."

Edward joined in the effort at lightening the atmosphere. "Sophie works wonders with this sort of thing, Jacob. You're in for a treat tomorrow. I understand that the kitchen has been working for days now and the flowers will be arriving in the morning. She's even convinced your son to purchase a new shirt for the occasion."

"Then she deserves the knighthood, sir…His mother and I could never manage to have him care about such things."

"Mavis is only sorry that she didn't have time to make him one herself. And she has a new gown to wear tomorrow, so they'll both be looking their best."

Edward pulled his best 'dressing down a new Midshipman' face. "She had a new gown two weeks ago for the Admiral's party…do you mean to tell me that she has another new gown on top of the expense of this entire wedding? Have you any idea what all this is going to cost me, madam? I am a working man, a mere career Naval Officer. I'll have you understand and my purse is not the size of the King's, much as you would seem to believe that…"

She leaned over to his chair where he was working himself up to a small rant. Kissing his forehead she calmly informed him, "Oh, Edward, really. You'll just have to go capture some more French ships."

James Sawyer was sitting in the great cabin of Renown. Like all British Navy ship's Captains, he was required to sleep aboard his vessel whenever it was in port. He also, by force of common sense, slept aboard her when they were at sea. The ship was, in all sense of the word, his home. Oh, certainly he had a wife and she had given him children. He would even admit being rather fond of the dear girl, if anyone had cared to ask.

No one did, of course. He was the Captain and, as such, maintained a professional distance from his officers. They were worthless, less than worthless. Standing about, spending all their time worried about their precious careers and their mentions in dispatches. Afraid to soil their delicate hands or tear their lovely uniforms.

The other officers he viewed with the distain they deserved. Most of them were hardly competent and the few who did know the bow from the stern couldn't be trusted as far as they could swim.

Buckland he knew to be a weakling and a fool. He was easily cowed. Roberts was becoming too independent for his own good. He had been transferred off just three weeks ago. Kennedy was still unformed and so was no real threat on his own, but that Hornblower lad was the one who bore watching.

Too sharp by half, that one. And ambitious, too. He had Kennedy in his pocket, that much was obvious, and the men seemed to follow the boy.

Yes, he would be watching that one. An ambitious young officer who had the loyalty of his men could turn at the least prevarication. He wouldn't allow himself to be caught napping. Hornblower may have his men, but he had his own. He'd not be surprised by that whelp.

And now he was actually marrying Pellew's daughter. Well, he was nothing if not clever. He would find every path greased for him from now on, to be sure.

It was so damned unfair! He'd had to earn every promotion ever to come his way, every honor had cost blood and this pup would just stroll in where he had no right to be. There was nothing that would stop his advance, it wasn't possible. Well, short of the boy committing murder or some such and the odds of that were slim.

Well, there was nothing for it. He'd have to show up at the Commodore's home tomorrow night, smile and best wishes in place along with his dress uniform.

Sounds over his head pulled his attention back to Renown and the men aboard her.

The ratings…ah, the ratings. They were the true heart of a ship. They were they ones who got their hands dirt and made her sail, they were the ones who climbed and strained and pulled until the ship became a great bird flying along.

Hearing other voices his mind jumped back to the officers. Worthless, useless, the lot of them. Hornblower the worst of all, because he was the threat, where he led, the others would follow.

Of course, they'd be a long way from England.

That evening, knowing that the servants would have a very long day tomorrow, the family and the Hornblower's agreed that an early dinner out would be the best idea.

As the family and their guests were gathering in the study to go, Jacob saw Horatio and Mavis coming down the stairs together. They were holding hands and laughing quietly at whatever they were talking about. As they neared the bottom, Mavis stopped. Horatio, on the step below her turned to look at her, asking if she had forgotten something. As he faced her, she placed her free hand about his neck, pulling him close. Standing in the step above him, their heights became equal. Their arms encircled each other as they stood there for long minutes until Jacob finally removed himself to the dining room.

They entered several minutes later, smiling, their hands still clasped.

7/15/02

Family

Chapter Ten

It was after midnight and Horatio and Mavis weren't sleeping.

The dinner earlier that evening had gone well. The Pellew's and the two Hornblower's had gone to dine at Sir Edward's favorite club. The roast pheasant was seasoned to perfection and the conversation had flowed easily for the first time since the Doctor had arrived for the wedding. He and Horatio had apparently come to some sort of understanding and, although they weren't about to stroll arm in arm, they were beginning to enjoy each other's company.

There had been several toasts to the young couple's happiness and the proprietor had even been moved to send them a bottle of his best wine as a wedding present.

Returning to the house, both Sir Edward and Lady Sophie had asked Mavis and both Hornblower men into the study for a late glass. After they were all assembled the elder Pellew's announced the wedding gift they had decided upon for the young couple. They were to be made a present of a parcel of land which lay just a short mile from the Pellew's own home. Although it was currently undeveloped, they were told to think on what they would like there, as a house would be built to their specifications.

Horatio, overwhelmed, protested that it was too much and would they, please, reconsider? Mavis added that she knew the lot was one her parents had planned to build their own new home on and, really, they couldn't possibly accept such generosity.

"You can and you will, darling. The more I though about it, the more I realized that I simply don't want to leave this old place." Lady Sophie was unbending, Edward firm beside her. "Absolutely. We can't have the two of you sleeping in some gutter, you know."

Bowing to the inevitable, hugs, kisses and handshakes were exchanged all around.

So, Horatio and Mavis weren't sleeping.

"You realize that this will likely be my last chance to have my way with a young and innocent maiden—I'd not likely pass this up. After this it's an old married woman or nothing"

"And this will be my last opportunity with dashing and unattached Naval Officer under my parents roof. And them just down the hall…" She moved her hands up and down the planes of his chest, moving against him and quickly bringing him to a state of readiness

"Miss, please, you threaten my virtue."

"And you, sir have taken mine."

He looked at her closely, suddenly worried that there might be true in her joking. "Have I Mavis? Have I truly taken that from you?

Mavis suddenly became serious. "You've taken nothing I didn't give to you with all my heart. This time tomorrow, we'll really be married. You'll be my husband." She looked at him almost with wonder. "I've thought about this for so long, since I was a child, but I never really understood what it truly meant. You and I will become our own family. We will…"

"We will what, love?"

"We will be two halves of a whole."

Horatio looked at her thoughtfully. "Yes, I suppose that in a way we will." He gave her a small smile, kissed her gently and long and rolled atop her. "The sum is greater than the parts. Two halves of a whole. Yes."

Two miles away James Sawyer was also awake.

Damn Hornblower.

He'd been to the club for a simple dinner away from the ship with George Hastings, an old shipmate in port for a fortnight. A simple meal out with a friend, was that too much to hope for? It had been a pleasant time until he'd looked up to see that small party of people being seated in the far room. The Pellew's and Hornblower along with some man who could only have been the Lieutenant's father.

Even here he was being followed. Oh, certainly they would have called him mad if he had come right out and told them to leave him alone. They were pretending to tend to their own business, pretending to ignore him, pretending that they hadn't even seen him. Oh, yes, to another it might have looked like a family celebration, but he knew what it really was.

The lying fools.

He knew what they were doing. They were watching him. Hornblower and Pellew, both of them, the entire evening. Never took their eyes off of him. He saw them. And then later in the evening when Pellew had passed by on his way to the necessary...pretending that it was just a casual coincidence that brought them both there at the same time. A friendly nod and he kept walking

As if the Commodore hadn't spent the entire night with his eyes riveted to his table. As they were leaving he'd even had the temerity to politely inquire "So, we'll see you tomorrow evening, won't we, James?" There had been nothing for it but to smile and reply how he looked forward to it.

Then he had heard them all laughing. He knew that they were laughing at him. They had been doing it all evening.

Bastards.

God, he hated them all.

Edward and Sophie weren't sleeping anymore than the younger couple down the hall.

"This evening went well, don't you think, dearest? Horatio and Jacob seem to have made some headway."

"Can you imagine if they hadn't? I fear that we'd have been dodging the cutlery all evening."

"Oh, stop. They were both in fine form…the children seemed pleased with the house, didn't you think?"

"They'd be bloody fools not to be pleased with that kind of offer, for the love of God. No one ever made a gift like that to me in all my years. I fear that I'll have to capture the entire French fleet to pay for the blasted thing."

"I've no doubt you'll make short work of it, dearest."

"I thought that the idea was for Mavis to live here, especially if she's expecting. You two could keep each other company while Horatio and I are at sea."

"Of course we will. She'll stay here while the house is being designed and built and the interior is finished. That will take at least a year, if not more. By then the baby will be born and she'll have her own home. Every woman wants that when she marries, Edward. And Horatio won't want to live under our roof when he's home. Not if he has a wife and a child."

Edward had listened silently. "Sophie, if he doesn't…I mean if something should happen to him. I think that Mavis should be here with you."

She turned to look at him in the semi-darkness. "Yes. I know. If need be, the other house can be sold."

In the small guest room Jacob was lying awake, attempting, and failing, to read his beloved Robert Herrick.

The sounds carried through the walls from the next room over. The room where Horatio and Mavis were, all too obviously, making love.

At first he had heard the soft murmurings of quiet conversation, but now they had ceased talking.

He wasn't a prude and he didn't care that they were sharing a room before they were actually married. It was just that it made sleep so damned difficult with those sounds coming through the walls all night long.

No wonder Horatio had those circles under his eyes. Heaven only knew when the lad got any rest. It was probably a damned good thing that he was leaving in a few days. He'd probably need his sleep by then. Jacob knew that he certainly would.

Turning the page, he attempted to concentrate on another poem.

The next morning the house was in a state of controlled chaos. The kitchen had been declared off limits to any but those with business there, the conservatory was being banked with more flowers and candles by the score, the pianoforte was home to a musician who was turning the thing while the dining room was being prepared for the food which was being prepared in the kitchen. Upstairs, the lady's maid was pressing the gowns for later and the valet was looking over the men's clothing.

If Edward or Sophie had ever doubted that Preston was every bit as in command as the Commodore was on the Quarterdeck of a ship, all doubt was abandoned then and there. He ran their homes and the varied servants with efficiency and aplomb. Gratefully, Sophie allowed him to have at it, permitting her to think about Mavis and her own need to ready herself for the evening.

She allowed the rest of the family, including the Doctor to sleep in to past ten. It was unheard of, but they would all need their reserves later.

She arranged for all of them to be served a simple breakfast in their rooms so that they wouldn't be underfoot of the help. She had the requests made for baths all around after luncheon was finished. She saw to it that the wedding bouquet included Mavis' favorite golden roses along with the white ones and the sprigs of myrtle. She did all that she could to be sure the evening went as the young people hoped it would.

A little after eleven she heard the door to Mavis' room open and close and the sound of footsteps going down the stairs. Walking down the hall, she lightly knocked at the green door, pushing it open at the soft "Come in."

She found her daughter sitting at her vanity brushing her hair, wearing a simple day dress.

"Sweeting, are you excited?"

"I think that I'm just very happy, Mama"

"Horatio is a wonderful young man, dearest, you couldn't have found a better one."

Mavis laughed out loud. "I know! He's just so, so…" She laughed again with pure delight.

Sophie laughed with her. "And where is Lieutenant Wonderful off to?"

"He said that he needed some air. He's more nervous than he'll admit, so I suspect that he's hoping to walk it off somewhat. I think that his father went with him, if I heard him correctly."

"It's good to see those two are starting to talk with one another."

Mavis nodded as Sophie took the hairbrush, as was her mother's habit. "What did you say to him?"

"Whatever makes you think that I had anything to do with it?"

"Of course you did, Mama. Well, it doesn't matter what you said, whatever it was seems to have worked."

There were several minutes of quiet as they were both enmeshed in their own thoughts. Finally Mavis broke the silence.

Shyly she looked at her mother standing behind her, reflected in the vanity mirror. "I'm late, Mama."

Lost in herself, Sophie didn't really respond. "Late, dearest? The ceremony isn't for hours yet."

"No, Mama. I'm late. My monthly should have started three days ago."

Hesitating, not wanting to appear overly excited, Sophie responded with a calm statement of fact. "Darling, that could be just the excitement of the last couple of weeks. You know that can cause things to be…off."

"It never has before. You know you always said that you could set the clock by how regular I am. I'm late. I've never been late before." Turning face to face, she threw her arms about her mother. "Oh, Mama! I'm pregnant; I just know that I am! I felt it the second that it happened. I was sure."

"Sweeting, it's too soon to know…"

"Mama, I am! I'm sure. This is the best wedding present that I could give to Horatio. He'll be so happy!"

"Yes, Sweeting, He'll be thrilled, but I think that you should wait until you're absolutely positive to tell him. You wouldn't want him to be disappointed, now. Would you?"

"No, of course not, but if I wait until we're certain, then his ship will be God knows where and he won't learn for months and months. That doesn't seem fair."

"Darling, please. I know, why don't you ask Dr, Hornblower? He's said to be quite a good physician, perhaps he'll have a way of telling early."

Disappointment clear on her face, she agreed that, perhaps, that might be the prudent course of action.

Horatio and Jacob walked along the streets of Portsmouth. The day was a clear and sunny one and they were in no hurry to be anywhere just yet. They had ambled along for several hours, stopping for refreshments at a tavern. Horatio surprised himself to realize that he was, in fact, rather enjoying his father's company. God, how many years had it been since that had happened?

"Father, I truly am glad that we've made a start with each other. I fear that if we had not, it would have become one of the regrets of my life."

"And of mine."

"I've often wondered, why did you never remarry, Father? Surely you might have found someone who would have made you happy. If you don't mind my asking."

"No, no, I don't mind at all. Yes, I suppose I might have. I nearly did, you know. I almost married Rose when you were about eleven. I thought that you would benefit from having a mother and that you might then be willing to come home."

"Rose, your housekeeper? So, why didn't you? I might have returned then, feeling as I did at the time."

"She wouldn't have me. She said that she had no need of a husband. I couldn't think of anyone else whom I might have been able to abide. I stopped looking after that."

Horatio was about to respond when a passerby grabbed his arm. Startled, he turned, ready to defend himself and instead found himself engulfed in a bear hug. "What on earth were you thinking? You know that you couldn't go through this without me!"

"Archie! My God…I thought that you were still in London…what are you doing here…when did you get back?" They broke the embrace, their hands still on each other's arms.

"The Commodore had a message sent with the daily dispatches to the Admiralty…special delivery care of my father in the House of Lords to be sure it got the attention it deserved, no less! I was ordered back here to do my duty or face the consequences. So here I am…ready to serve as you see fit, Sir." He saluted sharply, the professional effect being somewhat diluted by his grin and civilian clothing.

"God, I'm glad you're here."

"Wild horses couldn't have kept me away after I heard… Bit sudden, isn't this?"

"You don't know the half of it."

A discrete cough turned them to the third man standing with them.

"Forgive me, Father. May I present Lieutenant Archie Kennedy, fourth Lieutenant of Renown and my friend. Archie, my father, Doctor Jacob Hornblower."

They shook hands, tactfully sizing each other up. Archie had often wondered about Horatio's family, which he never spoke of and Jacob was equally curious about his son's friends. Thank God that Horatio has some friends, was all he could think at the moment.

"It's an honor to meet you, sir." "The honor is mine. Perhaps we might stop for a tankard of ale so that we can get acquainted, Mr. Kennedy?"

"Why, yes, I'd enjoy that. Horatio? Shall we go over to the Lion?"

The ringing of local church bells brought Horatio back to business at hand. "Damn, what time is it? Lady Sophie will have our heads if we're not back in time to get ready. It's three already. We're in for it if she sees us."

"Would you rather that I join you later or should I come now?"

"Oh, God, now. We'll be able to talk a bit and you can calm my nerves."

"Fine, but I have to stop in there," He indicated one of the better inns across the street which they happened to be passing. "I'll need my dress kit for tonight. I'll just be a minute." He slipped across the way, leaving the Hornblower's on the street.

"He's a good friend, Horatio?"

"We're brothers." Jacob had no reply for that answer. Whatever he had been expecting, that wasn't it, not from his reserved, solitary son. Not knowing what to say, he remained silent.

As Archie rejoined them, they started back to the house.

The rest of the afternoon, as far as the main events participants were concerned, was taken up with bathing and dressing.

Lady Sophie and Preston made a final sweep of the house, checking the arrangements. The candles and flowers met her approval, the pianoforte was tuned to perfection, and the food smelled tempting. Extra servants had been hired to take cloaks and hats and to serve food and drink. They were ready and well trained.

By half past six, everything was set.

She went upstairs to the guestroom Horatio had originally occupied, now pressed into use as a dressing room for him and Lieutenant Kennedy. Approaching the open bedroom door she listened from the hallway for a moment.

"Archie, help me with this damned thing. It won't knot correctly."

"Well if you'll stand still, I'll have it in a minute. God, if you could face the Don's and Frogs and fire ships, you should be able to handle this, one would think…Horatio, stop fidgeting or I'll not be able to do this."

"She's not too young, is she, Archie? You don't think that she's too young for me?"

"I think that you have found the woman you'll spend our life with. You're not having any real doubts, are you?"

"No, noit's just that she's only sixteen and I'm…we're…leaving in a couple of days…and…"

"And she obviously has been in love with you since she was a child, just as you are equally fond of her."

"Yes, but..."

"Her father is a serving line officer. She knows what that means. She will be fine." Archie started laughing. "Lord, Horatio, in all the years that I've known you, I've never seen you in this kind of a state."

"Bugger off, Archie." Sophie heard the laughter again.

"Horatio, she will be fine and so will you. You love each other and you'll be happy together. Now, deep breathes and off you go."

A silence, then, "Archie?"

"Umm?"

"Thank you for doing this, for coming back from London early for me."

No laughter this time. "Of course. Brothers, remember?"

Sophie walked away without disturbing them. She crossed over to Mavis' room. Knocking softly, she entered.

Mavis was standing in the middle of the room, the maid putting the finishing touches on her gown and the fresh flowers which were twisted and pinned into the soft rolls and curls of hair

"Mama, is it all right?"

"Dearest, you look perfect. You are the most beautiful bride that any of them will have ever seen." She crossed the floor to where the young woman stood, embracing her carefully so as to not disturb her careful preparations. Kissing her cheek, she softly said, "You've never looked lovelier than you do at this moment and I've never seen you happier."

"Oh, Mama, I'm so happy." She said it so calmly and with such assurance that it almost broke Sophie's heart. Would that it could ever be so. "Is Horatio ready? I thought that I heard talking over there."

"Yes, just about. I've got to make sure that your father is all set. You know he won't wear his star and ribbon unless I badger him, and I think that he should tonight." With another kiss to her daughter's cheek, she was out the door.

When she entered the master bedroom she saw Edward looking at a sketch of Mavis that had been done years before back on Gibraltar. She couldn't have been more than twelve in the picture.

He turned when he heard her behind him. "God, it seems like it's only been ten minutes since I would carry her to bed after she'd fallen asleep on the couch."

Putting her arms about his waist she quietly answered, "Now Horatio will do that."

"Yes, he will. Our guests will be arriving. We should go downstairs."

They turned to leave the room. "Did I tell you that you look lovely, my dear?"

She smiled at him as they walked out.

7/20/02

Family

Chapter Eleven

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this evening to join this man and this woman…"

The minister spoke the familiar words to Mavis and Horatio as they stood with their assembled friends and family in the conservatory.

The walls were banked with flowers and dozens of candles; the room was filled with the people who had come to share in the wedding.

Archie stood on Horatio's right shoulder, looking proud enough for it to be his own wedding.

"Do you, Horatio, take this woman…"?

Looking at the crush of people, Horatio saw the Pellew's standing together, holding hands. He saw his father a bit apart, but appearing happy for them both. There were the men of his division, with as much right to be there as any Admiral or Captainperhaps more. They were cleaned and shaved and looking as though their own favorite brother was being married to their favorite girl. And in a way they were.

There was Captain Sawyer next to Clive. Clive seemed slightly drunk, as usual and Sawyer appeared to be wary, as though he was on his guard for some reason.

"…for my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold…"

As Mavis had walked through the makeshift aisle toward him a few minutes ago, he had thought that he had never seen a more beautiful woman. He saw the look on her face, realizing that as far as she was concerned, they were alone in the crowded room. Her attention was wholly on him; her smile was directed at him alone.

"…with this ring, I thee wed…"

He was as happy as he had ever been in his life. He knew this and marveled at the realization. All his life he had felt apart, alone. Tonight he felt, for perhaps the first time, as though he belonged. He knew, with a rock solid certainty, that what they were doing was right.

"…and thereto I plight thee my troth…"

He smiled down at her, her hand held gently but firmly in his own.

"…man and wife

The silence of the room was broken by the applause started by the division men. After a somewhat shocked moment of silence, the rest of the guests followed and the applause and cheers were loud and sustained.

Turning to face their friends, the newlyweds both started laughing at the reaction. Immediately, they were engulfed by the throng of well-wishers, much like at the Admiral's party two weeks before when their betrothal was announced, but multiplied at least tenfold.

God, the evening was going by so fast, it was a blur to Horatio. There was too much happening, too many people to take it all in.

Sophie's thoughts went back about an hour to the beginning of the evening.

She had walked downstairs to be met by a crush of first arrivals. There was Admiral Cornwallis and his wife, there was Mr. Bracegirdle—Edward was so fond of the dear man and it was so sweet of him to step aside when he learned that Archie had arrived.

Ah, just coming in the door were some of Horatio's division. They really were a rough looking bunch, but he had sworn that they would be on their best behavior and they certainly seemed to have cleaned themselves up for the occasion. Here came some of the officer's from Renown. Oh, dear, she really didn't know them too well. Was that the ship's doctor? That man over there with the bad wig? Well, Edward would likely know.

Ah, good. The maids and Preston were taking the coats and cloaks and hats as quickly as they were removed. And here came another servant with glasses of wine for the new arrivals. Things were under control.

Looking into the conservatory, she saw the minister in his robes chatting with the Port Admiral. Good, he was ready.

Moving smoothly through the crowd, she greeted people at every turn. Edward was just a few paces behind her, but his own friends taking his hand and offering their congratulations quickly sidetracked him.

Now, where had Jacob gotten himself to? Quickly, she ran up the stairs with the steps of a much younger woman. Coming to the open doorway of Horatio's room, she paused out of sight, hearing voices inside.

Jacob was there, asking if he might have a word with his son, Archie tactfully said he had to ask Lady Sophie something and walked out, stopping next to her. Moving slightly, she saw the Hornblower's reflection in the hall mirror.

"Son, I know that you've got to go downstairs, but I just wanted to say—well, I hope that you'll be happy. That's all."

Horatio looked at his father standing just two feet away from him, saw the earnestness on his face and heard the plea in his voice. Taking a step forward he put his arms lightly around the old man and softly said, "Thank you, Father. And I want you to know that I'm glad that you're here."

Pulling away he saw the Doctor's lips quivering and his eyes welling up. "Thank God."

Embarrassed, Horatio stepped back. "I'm expected downstairs." He escaped out of the room. Jacob managed a smile as he left.

Now, immediately after the ceremony, with the well-wishers surrounding the young people, Sophie saw Horatio slowly make his way over to where the three parents were standing. His arm was around Mavis' waist as he guided her through the crowd. Without a word, he grasped Edward's hand, smiling as broadly as it was possible for him to do then leaned over to kiss Sophie's cheek as Mavis hugged her Stepfather. Turning slightly, Horatio faced his own father. Gently he put his hand to the old man's neck in a gesture somewhere between a stroke and a caress. Jacob's own hand came up to touch that of his son's, the old eyes damp. Unable to speak, he simply nodded.

The well wishers caught up with them all by now and the young officers who were more Horatio's contemporaries and Mavis' girlfriends swept them around for more hugs and backslaps and ribald comments about the evening's final conclusion.

The musicians were starting up now, the pianoforte and the fiddle player in good form and some of the couples were dancing while others moved to the dining room where food had been arranged. Others headed over to the bar and there were those who simply searched out a quiet corner.

Horatio and Mavis started to circulate to greet those guests whom they hadn't yet managed to speak with.

They found the division men still where they had hugged the walls in the conservatory, huddled in a group.

Briefly leaving Horatio, Mavis went up to them. "I'm so glad that you all decided to come this evening. Horatio said that he thought you would, but I was worried that you'd not want to be surrounded by all these stuffy old officers my father insisted we must have." She gave Styles and Matthews kisses on their cheeks. "I know that you'll look after him for me." Then she brightened. "You know, you don't have to stay in here. There's plenty of food in the dining room. Why don't you get plates and bring them back here?"

Matthews gave her his sweet smile. "You've nothing to worry about now, Miss. We'll see that nothing happens to that lad. We'll make sure that he comes back to you safe and sound. You mark my words on that."

Her eyes dampened slightly. "Thank you. I know that you'll bring him home to me." She hugged the little man and then Styles, smiled at the others and seeing Horatio approaching from the friends he's managed to disengage himself from changed the subject. "You men enjoy yourselves now! Don't let all that lace intimidate you for a minute!" They laughed…little chance of that. They knew their places, but they were glad to see this for themselves. Hornblower was their favorite and they'd known Miss Mavis…Mrs. Hornblower now… since she was a little girl. And seeing Pellew's home! Well, he was certainly in the chinks.

"Thank you for coming tonight, men. I'm glad that you're here."

"That's all right, sir. It's good to see you so happy, if you don't mind my saying so."

Horatio smiled, took Mavis by the waist aging and wandered over to other guests.

As they made their way about the various rooms and spoke with the different guests, neither one noticed that Captain Sawyer watched their progress. H e smiled whenever anyone came up to him, he ate the food and drank the wine, he raised his glass for the toasts and he engaged in pleasant conversation. But what he was really doing was watching Hornblower.

So young, rising so fast, aligned with the top officers in the fleet and now married to a Commodore's daughter.

God, he hated the bastard.

Finally, about eleven, the guests were leaving, the servants had begun the cleanup and the newlyweds had been duly toasted and feted by their friends. Mavis had made her excuses and had gone upstairs after saying her goodbyes and her thanks.

Horatio found Archie chatting with a young lady who he knew to be one of Mavis' friends.

"Archie, thank you for today. I really am glad that you're here. It wouldn't have been right without you standing by me."

Looking at him contentedly, Archie simply answered "Of course… Horatio, haven't you still a duty to perform?"

Blushing his usual deep red, Horatio managed a shocked, "Archie, really!" With any other comment drowned out by the Lieutenant's and the young lady's laughter, Horatio made his escape upstairs.

Mavis had gone up about twenty minutes before. The maid helped her out of the new gown Mama had insisted on for the ceremony and had then assisted her into the new dark blue silk nightgown and matching wrap that had been an addional wedding present from her mother. It was beautiful, trimmed with lashings of creamy lace, full sleeves billowing and a lovely train.

Strange, she thought as the maid left her alone. She knew that Horatio would be with her shortly and although they had been sharing a bed for several weeks now, she was nervous and excited.

It was different, somehow. It was—real now. Before they had just been lovers, now they were a married couple. In an inexplicable way she felt different. Just last night she had been a girl with her beau now, somehow, she felt as though she was a woman waiting for her husband to join her. It wasn't the same. It was better.

She crossed over to the vanity, sitting and looking at her reflection. Her hair was down and she thought that she looked too young for him. Where was he? She was suddenly overwhelmed by the thought that he wouldn't come to her, that he'd stay downstairs with his friends or her parents.

The door opened and closed. Her eyes fixed on the small mirror, she didn't move as she saw him approach her.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, leaning down to kiss her bared neck, his hands sliding down on the silk to cover and gently knead her breasts. She leaned back into him, one hand coming up to hold his face on her, the other covering one of his hands, holding it to her more tightly. She felt his tongue and his teeth caressing her neck, felt him move the fabric away from her shoulder and felt his hands move down lower to stroke her belly, encircling her from behind.

Taking one of her hands in his, he straightened, pulling her to her feet and against him, his arms going around her again. She could taste the wine he'd drunk that evening along with his own taste. She briefly wondered if he was at all drunk, but discounted the possibility. Horatio never got drunk.

He hadn't said a word since he'd entered the room.

He relaxed his grip on her enough so that he could untie the sash of her wrap. She slid her hands up to remove his coat, but he caught them and shook his head. Not yet.

He moved his own hands inside the blue silk, pushing it off her shoulders to pool at their feet, his hands moved on her with more purpose and more firmness. Next he began on the small buttons holding the gown itself together. There were too many and they were too small for his patience to endure. Taking the rich fabric in his hands he tore the front open, laughing silently as the garment fell away. She was naked before him, he was fully dressed

His hands roamed over her, her shoulders, her back, her breasts, legs, stomach. She kept her hands on his, directing where she wanted them to go next, holding them in one place longer than another, harder here, slower there. He let her move his hands as she pleased. Finally, he captured her hands in his own, placing them at the buttons holding the flap of his trousers closed.

She understood, or thought that she did. Opening his lower garments, both his outer and under garments, his member was freed. He allowed her hand to rub the length of the shaft, up to the rounded head and back to where it joined to the rest of him. She stroked him with increasing pressure and his own hand started to rub lower on her own body. Finally she felt his fingers begin to part her lower lips and he was inside of her as she held onto his organ, without something—even this, to hold onto, she would have fallen. She began to writhe as he stroked her inner walls, her center, still saying nothing. She began to quietly whimper, needing the rest of him inside of her, needing to lie down, needing some relief from the stimulation.

As he withdrew his fingers, she made a sound of exasperation, but he merely moved both of his hands around to her bottom and lifted her up so that her feet were both off the floor and her legs went around his waist. Feeling his penis pressing between her legs, he carried her to the edge of the bed, sitting with his feet in the floor, her atop his lap.

He raised her up then lowered her so that she was impaled on the full length of him. She almost cried out as she felt him fill her, her own weight forcing him all the way in.

She looked at his face, close to hers. His eyes were hooded, but he looked back at her with a smile of satisfaction on his lips. His hands on her bottom to steady her, he began to raise and lower his hips, thrusting in and out of her with each movement. His mouth found hers and his tongue thrust against hers with the same rhythm, she moved with him, her arms around his shoulders. He roughness of his coat rubbed against her breasts, adding new feelings and he felt her begin to tense with her first climax. Her muscles stroked him from end to tip and it was all he could do to control himself from coming with her then. He managed to hold off, continuing to thrust and rock inside of her until he felt her convulse against him again, her muscles gripping him tightly in waves. Finally, unable to prevent it, he allowed himself the release that his body demanded. Wave after wave of his seed was pumped into her, filling her, flooding her with his warmth. His mouth muffled in hers, she felt more than heard his groan as he came more strongly that he ever had with her before.

Finally, together they collapsed onto the bed, Horatio pulling her with him as he fell straight back, both of them panting and still locked together.

His hands gently stroked up her back, coming to rest on either side of her face. He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her eyes and her mouth, both of still trying to catch their breath, a light sheen of perspiration on his face.

They continued to embrace, resting for a few minutes, still saying nothing. She felt him slip out of her, felt the loss.

Finally Mavis pushed herself up, taking his hand.

"Now."

She pulled him to his feet. He swayed slightly as he stood. Placing her hands on his chest, she pushed his coat away from his shoulders, catching it as it fell; she tossed it onto the vanity stool. Next, his cravat was undone, followed by his waistcoat and shirt. As the white linen was pulled over his head she leaned in to kiss his nipples, just at the right height for her mouth to easily reach. He sighed as he felt the slight suction and put his arms around her for support.

She laughed quietly. "Fair's fair." He kicked off his shoes and she pushed his lower garments down until he could step out of them. He was starting to rise again as they returned to the bed. Reclining, she reached down and removed his stockings. They were almost even. She finally reached behind his head to untie the velvet ribbon that held his queue. His dark hair fanned on the pillow as she lay full upon him.

She rubbed against him, chest-to-chest, belly-to-belly. His arms around her, she took the initiative, kissing him deeply, her tongue exploring his mouth. She began to slide down to length of his body, kissing, licking him as she traveled downwards. She paused at his breasts, suckling until she could hear the gasps and sharply indrawn breath. Her hands stroked over his chest, his ribs and his shoulders.

She continued down to his stomach, his belly, his navel, her lips drawing designs that only she understood. He began writhing under her attentions, her body sliding, causing a friction against his hard shaft. His hands kneaded her hair and her head as she made love to him. No woman had ever done this for him before, he was entranced, overwhelmed by what was happening.

Finally she arrived at his member, taking it in her hands, stroking and caressing it, playing with the length of it, with the thick curls around it and with the sack beneath.

His voice was barely a whisper. "You don't have to do this." She glanced up to find his eyes, mere slits, looking down at her. "I want to." His eyes closed and his head fell back on the pillow, his mouth slightly open, his breath coming in gasps.

She let her mouth close over the tip. Using just her lips, she moved the foreskin back and forth, up and down, swirling with her tongue, gently sucking the end of him. His hands clenched convulsively in the bedding, his hips began to move of their own accord. She began to suck harder, taking in as much as she could without gagging. His movements became more pronounced, more forceful, finally he managed to pant out her name.

"Mavis, please…now… I must…"

He tried to pull her up to him, she wouldn't be moved. Squeezing his hands, she indicated that he was to finish just as he was.

Inexperienced, she wasn't prepared for him when he came. She tried to swallow what she could, but she looked up sheepishly at him, wiping his mouth, gagging slightly.

His breath ragged, his eyes on her, he stroked her cheek as he whispered "…Sweeting…"

Using just the tips of his fingers, he pulled her up to lie with him face to face. She thought, as she settled beside him, she had never seen him as at peace as he was at this moment.

His arms around her, her head nestled on his shoulder, holding her close, he stroked her arm where he could reach.

When he had come back to himself, when he could again speak, he asked, "How did you know to do that? Where did you ever learn…?"

She glanced at him then lowered her eyes; even with the poor light of only two candles he could see her blush. "Mary told me. Mother's maid. This afternoon when she was helping me dress she told me that her husband liked…that."

He laughed quietly. "Yes, I would think that he does." He gently picked up her left hand. Looking at the wide gold band he had placed there just a few hours ago, he brought it up to his face, kissing the ring and her hand. "Have you looked at the inscription inside?"

"No, I've not had it off since you put it there. What does it say?"

"Take it off and read it…. I'll put it back on you." Bringing a candle close so that she could see, she peered at the inside of her ring. There, engraved were the words "I will love you forever. H."

Her eyes welled up as she looked at him. "Will you? Do you swear it?"

Placing the ring back on her hand he kissed her, saying. "Yes, I promise that I will, and I swore it this evening before you and our parents and friends. I do swear it."

"And I swear it to you, just as I did tonight. I will love you forever, Horatio. I will."

7/21/02

Family

Chapter Twelve

Downstairs, the Pellew's and Jacob were in the conservatory, amid the party rubble. They had pulled three chairs together and were sharing the last bottle of champagne.

"It went well, I thought, Sophie. You made a splendid job of it all, my dear."

She smiled at him, tired but happy. "Yes, I thought that it was what they had hoped for. Mavis certainly seemed happy. And Horatio—I've never seen him smile that much in one evening. They are lovely together."

"They're upstairs now, are they?"

Sophie gave him a look telling him exactly what she thought of his asking a foolish question.

Jacob spoke up. "I was speaking with some of his men. His division? Is that what they're called? I was pleased to hear them speak well of him. I'd never thought of the fact that he truly does command men. Silly of me, I know."

"He's had the same division since the first day he came aboard the Indy almost seven years ago. They were the roughest bunch on the ship and he had them turned around within just a few weeks. They'd credit him with walking on water if you asked them."

"Edward, forgive my asking, but in truth…how good is he? Between us and these walls."

The commodore paused a minute as he sipped his drink. "He's the best officer I've ever seen, and I include myself in that. He has more intelligence, more native ability and creativity that any three men together. And more importantly, he has an unparalleled ability to effortlessly command loyalty. In all candor, his future is unlimited. As I've told him myself, there will come a time when he will surpass me. I've no doubt of that."

Jacob stared at the other man. "Surely you exaggerate. He's bright, of course, but…."

"I tell you the truth as plainly as I know how to, sir."

Horatio's father seemed somewhat stunned by at he had just heard. "Does he have any idea?"

"No, I don't think that he does. He's also one of the most modest men I've met. He quite amazes me."

"Jacob, Horatio is an extraordinary young man, Edward and I have often remarked on him. And you must know that we truly couldn't be more pleased about this marriage."

"You've been so kind to him, Lady Sophie, both of you have. I'm grateful to you for that."

Sophie raised her glass. "To the happy couple."

The men seconded her toast. His eyes fixed out the windows to where Renown lay at anchor below, Edward added another. "To a safe voyage."

Upstairs Horatio and Mavis were embracing, lying together, catching their breath; they were, for the moment, sated. It wouldn't last.

"The ceremony was perfect, wasn't it? All those flowers smelled so wonderful and the men all looked so handsome in their dress uniforms. You looked so beautiful that I almost cried when I saw you waiting for me."

Horatio was laughing quietly. "I've never been referred to as beautiful before."

She rolled on top of him. "You are, you know. Very." She kissed him. His hands stroked her back, from her shoulders down to her backside.. His arms held her to him.

He stayed her for a moment. "You know, I used to think of you as my little sister."

She kissed him again and asked, "Do you still?"

Rolling them both over so that he now lay full upon her, "I've revised my opinion in the last few weeks." He lay still for a minute, languidly kissing her, feeling her beneath him.

They had all night.

His hands bracketed her face; his kisses became feather soft until only the tips of their tongues barely touched, caressing each other.

Slowly, slowly he increased the pressure, the urgency of his movements. Her arms, her hands held him to her with more force.

She started making sounds, small moans and gasps which were swallowed by his mouth and matched by quiet cries of his own.

She felt him ride the waves that had been growing, felt him shudder in her arms, felt his body tense and strain.

They lay together, neither one of them wanting to move from the other, still tightly embracing. Their breath, again, came in gasps. God, she loved the feeling of his weight on her. His solid body, his heat and his clean smell, it was how she knew that he was really hers, that he was really here and that he wouldn't ever leave…Oh, God. He would leave. He had to. In just two days he's sail. Oh, God. He'd leave.

She felt, as much as she heard, Horatio whisper in her ear, heard the smile in his voice. "Le petit mort"

She began to cry, silently. Tears trailed from the corners of her eyes down into her hair. Le petit mort. Death. He had brought it up, tonight. He had brought up death as they made love.

He couldn't die. He couldn't. She'd die if he did.

No, she wouldn't, she corrected herself. She would want to die if he did, but she wouldn't. She would raise their child. She had to, she would have no choice. But he wouldn't die. He had promised that he'd come back. Matthews had promised that he'd see Horatio safely home. Papa would be close to keep watch. He couldn't die.

Oh, God, he might be killed.

He touched her face, felt the wet.

"Mavis—love, what is it? Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?"

She knew his concern; she couldn't let him know her fears. "Everything is perfect. Tonight was everything I wanted." She kissed him. "You're everything I want."

Not convinced, he asked again. "Please tell me."

She shook her head, kissing him again. "I just love you so. I love you so very much." She would never let him know how she feared for him. She wouldn't have him carry that with him. Ever.

He gently moved to her side, holding his arms about her. Curled into him, her head on his shoulder, her arm across his chest, they finally slept.

Horatio was late coming down after a leisurely breakfast with Mavis in bed

As he walked down the stairs to the main front entranceway he saw that his father's bag was packed and waiting by the door. Hearing voices coming from the study, he entered to find the elder Pellew's just bidding Jacob a safe journey.

"Horatio, good. I was hoping that you'd make an appearance before the carriage would have to go."

"Must you leave already, Ftaher?"

"Yes, you know that I do. You know that I have patients waiting as always.

Horatio seemed awkward, unsure of what to say or how to express himself. He finally managed a stiff, "I'm pleased that you came for this. It was good to see you again."

"I'm glad, too. Will I see my new daughter in law before I leave?"

"She's just finishing dressing. Fatherwould you consider writing to her? I fear that she'll be ..miss me and perhaps you could, somehow…"

"I would like that very much if she'll allow it…ah, here she is." Mavis had entered the room, coming to Horatio's side, his arm going around her waist. "You look as lovely today as you did last night, my dear.

"Jacob, I fear that if you're to arrive home before dark, you must be away."

"Yes, you're right. I can't thank you enough for your kindnesses. I am in your debt, all of you."

He was in the hallway now, Preston handing him into his greatcoat. Mavis moved to him, hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I'll write you, we'll tell each other everything we can."

"Yes my dear, we shall write. Horatio, I would very much like to write to you, if you'll allow it."

"I would be pleased if you would, and I'll answer." With final embraces to Mavis and Sophie, a handshake to Edward Jacob stepped to the walk.

"Father…" Horatio caught his arm and pulled him into a warm hug. "I'm glad that you were here. Thank you."

His throat tight, Doctor Hornblower nodded and was handed up to the carriage. A moment later the horses were away.

The next two days were going quickly. Every hour, every minute was another one less that they would have together.

Horatio and Mavis spent the time together, of course Their friends and the older Pellew's seemed to understand, giving them the privacy thay needed.

Lady Sophie quietly and efficiently made sure that his clothing was cleaned and mended, that his sea chest contained paper and ink and enough quills to last him. She saw that he was provisioned with coffee and jam and the other small luxuries that made life at sea more bearable. As she packed his sea chest for him, allowing him that much more time with his new wife, she slipped the old drawing of Mavis inside. Done in Gibraltar when she was a child, it was how she looked when they had first met. He would like to have that, she knew.

While Sophie was busy with that end of things, Edward was engaged with other aspects of the imminent voyage for Renown. He had found out her assignment, knew her likely route, when she could be expected to make port in the Indies, and the most likely harbor. He learned that she would have a new second Lieutenant, that he was known as a solid but unremarkable man of good reputation.

Edward also found that there was a common belief among the more senior officers that James Sawyer would benefit from retirement. This was not spoken aloud, of course, that would hardly be the thing to do. It was an awkward situation, really. When one of the Admirals had suggested it—in a round about way, of course, well. One would have thought that he had suggested that Sawyer might wish to cut off his own ear for the reaction he'd gotten.

When the man returned from the Indies they would have a new Captain for Renown all picked out and Sawyer could be safely retired to whatever the name of his estate was. And if there were any problems on this assignment? Oh, come now! Ships ran into trouble all the time. They could handle it. It's not like he had a green crew under him or God's sake! They would be fine, the lot of them.

Leaving the Port Admiral's office, Sir Edward was, once again, greeted by the very man he had come to find out about.

"Commodore Pellew, what a pleasant surprise to see you here again. I've been meaning to write your lovely wife a note of thanks for including me in the wedding the other evening. How fortunate for you to have both a beautiful wife and an equally stunning daughter. She quite made me speechless when she appeared."

"Good of you to say, James. Glad that you could make it on Friday. You're off tomorrow, aren't you?"

"Yes, that's right, with the land breeze at dawn. I trust that your new son in law will be there when he's expected? I wouldn't want the joys of being a newlywed to delay him."

"I'm confident that he'll report as ordered. I've always found him to be reliable that way."

"Umm, yes, of course. He's a bright fellow, isn't he?"

"Intelligent? Yes, of course, quite."

"Have you found him to be—ambitious, Sir Edward?"

Surprised by the tactlessness of the question, Pellew could only stare for a moment. "Ambitious? I suppose, but only in that he would naturally wish to advance."

"And if there were no natural advancement? What would he do then do you think? You know how these bright young officers can be if they feel that they're being held back. Make his own advancement, perhaps?"

"Captain Sawyer. Are you suggesting that the Lieutenant has married my daughter, merely to advance his career?"

"Suggesting such a thing of him? Of course not, sir. I was just wondering how you feel he might react to an particular situation."

Refusing to allow Sawyer to see that he had managed to shake him, Edward responded with a curt, "If you'll forgive me, I must be about my business. I wish you good voyage, sir."

As Sir Edward walked away to his carriage, he was unaware that Sawyer's eyes followed him until he was out of sight.

That night Mavis and Horatio both forced themselves to eat a light dinner. Though they attempted to keep up a steady stream of talk with Edward and Sophie, the older couple said nothing when they were excused before desert to retire. A few minutes later Preston and the footman could be heard carrying Horatio's sea chest down to the foyer, ready for the morning.

Seeing it sitting by the door, Sophie turned to Edward and with the only real bitterness he had ever heard from her, said, "God, I can't bear the sight of those things packed and ready to go. I hate it, I absolutely hate it."

He put his arms around her, attempting to offer her comfort but she would have none of it. "No, don't try to appease me. You've no idea what it's like. You go off to your ship, off to adventure and to save the Empire. I—we—sit here, waiting for letters and the occasional package. Pouring over newspapers and the Naval Chronicle for any word, and waiting. Just waiting for months or years, not knowing if you'll walk in the door today or next week or never."

He spoke quietly, calmly. "Sophie—you knew that I was a serving officer when we married, as Mavis knew the same about Horatio. You both understand what it means."

Equally quietly, she answered him. "Yes, we both know. We both know that there's a fifty percent chance that you won't return."

"Do you wish me to resign?"

"Of course not."

"Well then?"

"I hate the look of those things in the hall." She turned and went into the conservatory, sitting in one of the big chairs. Edward joined her, taking her hand, sitting in the other chair. Together, in the dark, they sat watching the harbor below, each wrapped in their own thoughts.

Horatio knew that Mavis was determined not to cry. He hoped that he'd be able to accomplish the same.

God, he didn't want to leave her.

Coming upstairs, alone in the room they had shared for the last two weeks, they had slowly undressed one another. They lit no candles. The only light was from the small fire and the moonlight through the windows.

Each caressing the other's body as the garments were removed. Waistcoat, shirt, bodice, skirt, chemise, trousers, undergarments, all were removed and carefully put aside. Hairpins and ribbons followed. Mavis' earbobs were carefully taken from pierced flesh. The only thing that remained was her wedding ring. That would stay.

Words seemed superfluous, each knowing what the other was feeling, the loneliness and the sadness.

When they were both naked, Horatio picked her up in his arms, as one would carry a small child who had fallen asleep up to bed. He laid her gently on the feather mattress. Looking at her, studying and memorizing her body, the look on her face, her hair fanned on the pillow. He sat next to where she lay on her back looking up at him, his hands stroking over every inch of her as though his fingers could remember what she felt like.

Her eyes were watching his face, seeing the intensity of what he was doing, on how he wanted her to feel pleasure from what he was doing to her. She refused to close her eyes, determined to watch him as he watched her.

Her head moved in the smallest of nods. She would, for him. Closing her eyes, she could concentrate on the feelings he was bringing her. His hands moving over her, she could feel his confidence, his strength.

She could feel her heart pounding, feel and hear his gasping for breath, feel the sweat on his back as she moved her hands over his muscles. Finallly, inevitably, she felt him start to tense his body in the final moments of the act, her own body responding and joining him in the most forceful climax she'd yet felt. could hear his strangled gasps and an almost agonized groan.

Finished, exhausted by what they had just shared, he collapsed on her, a dead weight. His breathing ragged, his skin slick with sweat, his heart pounding so hard that she could feel it through her own chest. His mouth was still kissing her neck where he could reach her with out having to move any other part of him. Thye were still joined, he was still inside of her. Every minute or two one of them would move a muscle or two a fraction, setting off a new wave of sensation to their still overly sensitized bodies.

Their only conversation was one of gasps and sighs and moans.

Finally, after neither one of tehm knew how long, Horatio opened his eyes to look over at her, sharing a pillow. His hand slowly moved up to caress her cheek, to move a lock of hair from where it had fallen across her eyes. She met his look. They moved enough so that their lips could meet gently, tenderly.

Finally, with infinite sadness he managed to tell her, barely a whisper. "I love you—so much."

Her eyes welled up. "And I you."

"I will come back. I promise that I will."

She attempted a small smile. "I know. And I will wait for you."

Neither of them slept for what little was left of the night for them. There was no point in even trying.

At three thirty the next morning Preston came up carrying a pitcher of hot water and a candle. Letting himself into the room, he placed the water on the stand and lit several more candles. Horatio and Mavis had been expecting him for a while and were ready for him. Horatio was dressed in most of his uniform, Mavis in the navy blue silk wrapper. He withdrew as quietly as he arrived.

Mavis sat on the edge of the bed, watching Horatio wash, shave and put the finishing touches on his dressing.

Ready, he slipped his coat over his shoulders, buttoning the front across his chest.

He kissed her cheek as she put her arms around him. He folded his arms around her.

"I wish that you'd let me come down to the dock to see you off."

"It's raining and cold. I'd rather remember you here, warm in our room, not shivering and wet on the quay."

"I'll write you everyday. I'll send you some more shirts, yours are in tatters."

He smiled. "Yes, thank you. I'll write you, every chance I can." He heard the sharp inhale of breath as she tried not to give in to tears. Her arms tightened.

"I promise that I'll come back. We will be together soon. I swear it. I love you."

They heard sounds in the hallway, knew that it were likely the elder Pellews up to bid him goodbye. They could hear the carriage being brought around to the front. Standing together, neither one wanted to be the one to break off contact.

Finally, knowing that it was past time, Horatio pulled away. "Mavis, we sail at dawn. I must go." He leaned down for a last, long kiss, straightened and left the room.

7/25/02

Family

Chapter Thirteen

Letters

My Dearest Wife, 23March 1801

What joy I take in writing those simple words!

Renown is just now clearing the point at Land's End as I pen this to you. We are leaving home behind and I am leaving you.

Saying farewell to you this morning was as difficult as anything I've ever done. It was all I could do not to jump from the carriage to embrace you again. Had I gone back in I would have wanted to love you once more, and I knew that couldn't be.

I still find that I am unable to comprehend my great good fortune in you, Sweeting. That you are my wife, that we are truly wed, is such amazement to me. I find thinking you might actually want me above any others is astounding.

Know that I love you with all that is in me and that I will return to you as soon as is possible. I fear that I don't know when that might be, but I have hopes that our current assignment—which Captain Sawyer disclosed to us this morning after we left port—should not take as long as others might. I pray God that I will see you again within a year.

That sounds so long, I know, but the time will pass for us both.

Be well, write to me often. I do love you so.

With great affection,

Dear Doctor Hornblower, 15 April, 1801

I wish to tell you once more how so very delighted I was when you came to our wedding. Seeing the look on Horatio's face as he and you spoke together is something that I will hold in my heart forever. I wish I had the words to tell you what a joy that was to me, to see him so very happy.

I also wish to tell you that I am now sure that you will become a grandfather before the end of the year. I know that it is too soon to say such a thing in prudence…especially to a Doctor!… but I know it to be true. I was sure the moment that it happened and the past weeks have confirmed my beliefs with what I am told are the usual symptoms.

I'm sorry that both Horatio and Papa are unaware of my news as they are both at sea. Papa left just a week after Horatio and the mail packets take a while to catch up with the ships.

I believe that the baby will arrive sometime around the end of the year and I hasten to assure you that I am in fine health and quite spoiled by Mama and everyone here.

Please write to me. Tell me of any news that you might have of Horatio or of any news of his old home that I might pass to him for his amusement.

In all warmest regards,

Mavis Hornblower

My Dear Sophie, 27 May 1801

Tonnant is making good speed, enjoys good weather and fair winds. My officers, lead by Joss Bracegirdle, as always, seem to be a likely group.2 I've had no problems with any of them so far. I've hosted several dinners with them and fear that I will be hard pressed to scare up a decent game of whist this voyage. I find I long for the days on the Indy when Horatio and Joss, along with one of the brighter Mid's could always be counted on for a spirited and challenging hand.

The crew seems to be a reasonable mix and I foresee no situation that we will not be able to handle, pray God.

There has been no news of Renown that has reached me as of this writing. I must trust that they are well.

My Darling, these last two months have caused me to reflect on how lonely my life would now be had you not happened into it when you did. That you brought Mavis with you is a joy that I dwell on more and more.

I beg you to keep yourself well for my return. Do what you can—as I know that you are—to ease her mind. Mavis is such a dear girl. To know that she likely suffers in his absence grieves me more than I can say.

Tell me all your news, my Sweeting. I miss you as I always do.

In all affection,

Ned

Dearest Father, 7 June, 1801

Renown enjoys good weather after a rough spell in the Atlantic while were enroute to our current destination. She remains a sturdy vessel and the men who sail her are, for the most part, an experienced lot, if not always an easy one.

Having Archie beside me goes far to lighten the atmosphere as the voyage sails on through the weeks and months.

The new Lieutenant, a Mr. Bush, seems to be a decent sort, but I find that he seems to prefer his own company at present. Mr. Buckland remains as he has always been.

The Captain has long enjoyed his reputation as a firm leader and he has not disappointed us in that regard. Discipline is one of the things on which he prides himself, and rightly so.

I'm glad that I've been able to retain my old division, they are such good and decent men that they are an honor to serve with.

Father, I must thank you once again for making the effort to join Mavis and me at our wedding. To see you and to begin to break down the walls that we had both erected was a great joy to me. It is my hope that we might continue our rapprochement when I next set foot in England. I have so missed having a family in any real sense of the word, and do rejoice that we have made a beginning with each other. I pray that it will continue.

I would also hope that you are in contact with Mavis, now your daughter-in-law. She is now part of your family, as we have become part of hers.

Your affectionate son,

Horatio

My Dearest Mavis, 4 July 1801

Today is my birthday and Archie has given me the shirt you asked him to hold until this day. It fits me perfectly and I am astounded that you had the time to make the entire thing whilst I was in Portsmouth in March—it was a busy three weeks, as you will recall!

I thank you from the bottom of my heart and not just for the garment. I thank you, my Sweeting for your wanting me. I thank you for your strength in our separation and I thank you for the world of love that you have opened me up to.

There is not a night that goes by without my dreaming of you. There isn't a single time I've lain on my narrow cot and not wished with all my heart that I were in our bed, our bodies entwined as they were all too briefly. I long to hold you, slowly remove your clothing ad make love to you over and over as we did during those magical three weeks of my leave.

I fear that as of this writing, the mail packets have yet to find us. I wonder if we are to become parents. I know that if it is to be, you will have the strength to see yourself through the coming time. I thank God that you are with your mother and not completely alone during this difficult time for us both.

Don't stop writing. I know that you are. I will receive them eventually, and long to read your words to me.

I love you, I miss you.

Dearest, 25 August 1801

It would seem that we are to become grandparents, my love. I have waited all this time to tell you so as to be sure that all is well.

I must tell you that Mavis has been the perfect picture of health since the beginning and thrives in both the knowledge that she carries Horatio's child (whom she is convinced is a son, I might add) and that she holds his love.

It is a joy to behold, my darling and I only wish that you could be here to share in it with us both.

I would expect that you would have an announcement to make about the time of the New Year.

The house is continuing apace and I would hope that it would be ready for it's occupants within eight months or so. I have been up to my chin in samples of paint and fabric that your daughter insists on dithering over endlessly. She fears that whatever she decides on will not be pleasing to Horatio and I tell her that he will admire whatever she chooses.

Was I really this bad with our own redecorating, my dear?

I must confess to some concern that we have yet to hear from the dear boy since he left that morning in March for Renown.

I have made inquiries at the Port Admiral's and have been assured that there is no ill news of his ship. I trust that they are well, but out of each of the dispatch vessels.

You will keep your eyes set for him, will you not?

A Commodore commands so much better response than a mere Commodore's wife.

You are not to have a single care about us, my dearest. We are well and fine and miss you terribly.

With all my love,

Granny Pellew

My Darling, 20 September 1801

I fear that were you to walk in the door today you would be amazed in the change in your poor wife. I am as big as a house and your son kicks his poor Mama day and night! I must go about the house in one of Papa's old shirts, as there is nothing that I own which will comfortably go about the vastness of my middle section.

Mrs. Whiting was here just this morning and is making me dresses that will resemble nothing so much as tents to cover my nakedness. I never thought it possible to not wish you here, but could you see me, you would run straight away in the other direction.

And mama says that the baby grows the most in the last few months. I shall be as big as Renown before this is over!

Oh, Horatio, I tease you, my dearest.

I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is our love. I see the look on your face as you put your ring on my finger, I see you peaceful in sleep and I see you when we made love and then I am happy again.

I miss you so desperately. I long to feel your arms about me. I long to kiss you and to wake with you curled around me, as you would do, keeping me warm and safe.

I wander down to the conservatory to sit in our chair and wish that I could see Renown sailing back into the harbor to drop her anchor. She will, I know, and you will be on her and then you will walk in the front door and I will throw my arms about your neck and squeeze you until you beg me to stop.

Our little house is being built to the plans we spoke of. It will not be such a large home, but we will be able to add rooms should they become necessary. I hope that you will be pleased with the final results when you come home. I'm afraid that I'm driving Mama quite mad with my constant stream of questions about decorating and such things which she tried so hard to teach me and for which I have no talent.

Are you well, my dear one? I have been unable to ferret out where in the world Renown has been sent. I know not if you are in the Med or the Indies. You could be in China or India. Be safe my dearest. You are my everything.

You must write me and tell me what names you would like our little one to be christened with. I am confident that we shall have a son, but everyone says that we must choose names for either sex, as babies are often contrary.

But ours will be as perfect as his dear father. I've no doubt.

You are not to worry about me, Sweeting. I am well and taken care of as though I were made of glass.

I love you so.

Mavis

Dear Sir Edward, 31 October, 1801

As you are likely aware, Renown currently sails the same waters as Tonnant. I have some hope that we might have a chance to see one another, but there is, of course, no guarantee of that.

I must needs write this in confidence, Sir. I pray that you employ the discretion for which you are justly famous with its contents.

I greatly fear that we are on a course with disaster.

The crew is close to mutiny, the officers are made redundant and our Captain becomes more erratic by the day.

Although we are running dangerously low of supplies (both our foodstuffs and

our medicines are almost depleted), we are refused permission to put into Kingston or Bridgetown or any other port where we might remedy the situation.

It is my belief that the Captain fears desertion, should we put ashore.

The crew and, indeed the officers, are subjected to arbitrary discipline of the most brutal sort. There is neither rhyme nor reason to the standards to which we are held.

I am much concerned that a situation such as befell Bounty will be our fate. Should this happen, I cannot say what the final consequences might be.

W are ordered to contain and disarm a fort in Samana Bay, as you are likely aware. This may prove close to impossible with the present circumstances that exist onboard.

Sir Edward, you know that I am no coward, but I beg that you do what you can to remedy this situation before disaster overtakes us all.

In respect, I remain your obedient servant,

Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower

Dear Jacob, November 29, 1801

I greatly hope that you will do us the great honor of agreeing to spend your Christmas holiday with Mavis and me down here in Portsmouth.

We are three people without our loved ones this year and it would cheer us immeasurably to have you to share the season.

I know you will want to know that Mavis is doing well. She misses Horatio, of course, but she writes him almost daily and is as happy as a bride and soon to be mother should be.

We haven't heard from Renown in quite a while. There were some posts as she was enroute several months ago, but nothing recently.

Edward, who sails the same waters, whatever they may be, says that he keeps as close a watch as he can on how they are progressing and hasn't told me of any problems.

If you have heard anything more recent than that, Mavis will want every detail, I assure you!

I will send the carriage to you on December 22, if that meets with your approval. Weather permitting, naturally.

Do please say that you'll come. We want to see you so very much.

Warmest regards,

Sophie

My Dearest Darling, 26 December 1801

We are the parents of a son! Born yesterday, he is my Christmas present from you and to you.

I am so proud and so happy that I can barely put pen to paper.

Yesterday at breakfast, I felt somewhat poorly and your father—who is spending the holidays with us, thank God! —asked me several questions about my condition and how the previous night and early morning had passed.

My answers confirmed what I suspected, that the baby was coming. I will not bore you with the details of the confinement. It was long, but no more so than many first time deliveries. Mama was there the entire time and your father could not have been more wonderful. He is so knowledgeable about what was happening and was so calm that I never felt even a moment of fear.

He knew exactly what to do and what to say to give me confidence. He is so like you in so many ways, my love.

I have named him Edward Horatio. I hope that you don't mind. I was afraid that having two 'Horatio's' about the house would get confusing and Papa will be so pleased. The next will be your choice as to what to christen the child. I promise you that, my darling.

But our son…he is so wonderful! He looks like you, dearest. He has your magnificent eyes and dark hair. It's too soon to know about his nose or his chin, but he is wonderful and healthy and strong, just like his father. Jacob says that he's the image of you when you were born and that he'll likely have your height, too.

Oh, Horatio. I am so happy. I didn't think that I would ever love another as I do you, but this tiny creature has captured my heart as surely as has his father.

Hurry home to us, my dearest. We are waiting for you.

I love you so very much,

Mavis

Dear Sophie, 23 January, 1802

I write these events to you so that you can tell Mavis as you see fit.

I have just this day finished a task I hope I will never have the misfortune of repeating.

I presided over the Court Martial of the officers of Renown for Mutiny and possible murder. Horatio sat before me, along with that ships' first officer, while I and two other line officers decided their fate.

If found guilty I would have had no choice but to order their execution. I enclose the local newspaper which tells the barebones of the story, but the truth is, as always, more terrible.

I was forced to sit the trial, as I was the only other senior enough officer. Had I not, they would have had to wait until someone appropriate turned upthe wait might have been months and that would not be allowed.

As it is known that Horatio is not only a favorite of mine, but also now a member of our family I was forced to swear that I could be impartial and I so endeavored, but Oh Sophie! How could I have ordered him killed had the events demanded? I would sooner hang myself.

Dear God, how would I ever have looked Mavis in the face again?

It didn't come to pass, but the resolution was almost as terrible.

James Sawyer was insane, as we suspected. The testimony from that trial was enough to turn your stomach. He tortured his crew beyond reason, both the officers and the ratings. There were desertions and beatings and murder and all because this one man was stretched beyond his powers of enduring. I feel for the wretch, but I thank the Lord that he's dead.

I regret to tell you that Horatio's friend, Lieutenant Kennedy has died of wounds received at the hands of Spanish prisoners during an escape attempt on Renown. He lived long enough to take the blame for Sawyer's death, allowing me to free the others. If I ever doubted what Horatio saw in that young man, I no longer do. I only regret that I didn't see what he was made of before this.

The first Lieutenant is ruined by this. He performed poorly and his weakness allowed much of what went wrong to happen. Kennedy is dead and disgraced, Bush, the second Lieutenant was severely wounded but appears to be recovering.

Horatio is unhurt, physically, but he will carry these scars as long as he lives.

He has been given a small ship, a sloop of war and the rank of Commander. I pray God that he can put this debacle behind him.

My God, how could this have gone so wrong? A ship in total disarray, men dead, careers and reputations in ruins, the survivors barely left standing.

Horatio sails for Portsmouth within the fortnight. Treat him gently.

Your Edward

7/27/02

Family

Chapter Fourteen

Exhausted after the day with Neddy, Mavis was in a dead sleep when she began to dream that Horatio, her sweet Horatio, was making love to her. She smiled to herself as his hands gently moved her nightgown up to her waist. His fingers traveled up her ribs to rest on her breasts, caressing and kneading the swollen glands, still large with nursing.

Pressing into the phantom hands, she curled into the warmth that she had missed for almost a year. Not a night had gone by that she hadn't repeated this same dream, hadn't woken in a state of both physical and emotional longing.

The dream went on, his lips now on hers, his tongue gently stroking over her lips and parting them to gain the entrance she willingly gave. She dreamt that he was pressing her onto her back, his favorite way to take her. Her thighs opened as she imagined the wonderful hardness pressing against her, the warmth of his body radiating to her as he lay atop, carefully entering her. His weight was pushing her down into the mattress.

The dream was so real that she though that she could smell the salt of the sea, taste the harbor and rum in his mouth. Her arms came up to embrace his back and shoulders as she anticipated the thrusting rhythm beginning, ready to move with him.

Suddenly she came up through the fog to realize that this time it was no dream. The body on hers was real and solid and warm and moving inside of her. Her eyes opened and she whispered an astonished "Horatio…?"

"Yes", was whispered next to her. His mouth filled hers again and he began pushing into her harder, forcing her to move with him as he rode her body. He was pressing harder, faster. There was urgency to his movements that she didn't remember.

Still trying to understand that this was no dream, she held him, raised her legs to surround him, pulling him deeper inside with each thrust. He was straining now, needing to come, to get rid of the pressure that had built to an unendurable level for him, but not allowing himself the release.

He pounded into her, again and again. Over and over, harder and harder. Looking at his face, she had never seen him like this, could hardly believe that it was he. His eyes closed, his expression one of blank detachment. It was as though he was moving automatically, mindlessly, thrusting endlessly, as though he neither knew nor cared whom he was with. As if he didn't know that it was his Mavis who he was slamming against again and again. Merely the receptacle for his anger and frustration and fear, she could have been anyone or no one.

It continued on and on for too long. Her legs beginning to quiver, his organ starting to make her sore and nearing the end of her endurance, Mavis finally touched his shoulder, "…Horatio"

He glanced down at her, his eyes taking a moment to focus on her. He seemed almost startled to find her there, staring down at her uncomprehending for a few seconds.

Realizing what she was asking of him he regained his concentration and finished in a very few more strokes, gasping his climax and collapsing on her, drenched in sweat and gasping for breath.

She lay beneath him, feeling the trembling in his body slowly lessen, felt the sweat start to dry on his back. He didn't move, didn't speak.

Confused by the stranger her husband seemed to have become, she stroked his shoulder, whispering his name once more.

"… Horatio?…Sweeting…?…are you all right?" There was no response. "Horatio?"

With no warning he breathed in a great shuddering gasp, grasping her tightly in his arms and was sobbing against her, holding her, clenching her to him.

Frightened by what was happening she continued to hold him, running her hands gently over his back, trying to sooth him as she did the baby when he wouldn't be comforted and she didn't know what was wrong. She felt the agony pouring from him, knew that he needed his release just as he had needed the physical relief a few minutes ago. God, what was wrong? What had happened to him?

Finally, after she didn't know how long, the painful gasping sobs diminished and he merely lay in her arms. Turning over onto his back, bringing her with him, his arms about her, he began to speak. His voice was so low that she had to strain to catch all of his words. His voice was emotionless, dead sounding. It was awful to hear.

"Archie is dead. Shot by the Spanish prisoners when they tried to take the ship. The bullet was meant for me. Bush told me that. I guess he thought that I knew, but I didn't until he said so. Sawyer is dead, too. Archie confessed to the murder. He didn't do it. He just did it to save my worthless neck. Buckland is ruined. About forty of the crew deserted in the Indies and were murdered. We found their bodies but didn't have time to bury them. I saw the crabs starting on them.

"Your father presided over the Court Martial. For mutiny. I hoped that he wouldn't be the one to have to order my execution. I don't know if he could have done that—no I guess that he'd do what he had to.

"I felt so sorry for him having to be there.

"He's in an unmarked grave outside of Kingston. Archie. It took him a week to die. I couldn't even see him. We were kept in different cells. It was only after the trial was over, when he only had an hour to live that I was really able to speak with him."

Unheeded tears ran down his cheeks. Unaware, they were ignored until Mavis wiped them away. He didn't notice.

"I brought a prize home. That's why I'm here in Portsmouth. Retribution. She's a sloop of war. We got in two days ago." Mavis looked at him—why hadn't he sent word sooner?

"I had to sign the ship in and I—forgive me, Mavis. I simply couldn't bear to speak with anyone just then.

"I've lost my promotion. I was made a Commander, but it's not been approved as the war is over. The ship was paid off yesterday. I'm sorry." He stopped speaking then, out of words.

"I'm not." Her voice was as quiet as his had been. "For almost a year I've spent everyday worrying about you, writing you letters I didn't know that you'd receive. For a year I've not been able to hold you or touch you. I'm glad that your ship is paid off. I'm glad that peace is declared."

He looked at her, then put his head down and closed his eyes. She didn't understand.

"I've been walking since about two this afternoon. That's when I finished with the Port Admiral. I got here a while ago, let myself in the kitchen. I sat in the conservatory, looking at the harbor."

He was starting to frighten her, she didn't know him now. She touched his cheek, attempting to reach him. "We have a son. Did you know?"

"Yes, I got that letter. I was so worried about you being all right. You are, aren't you?"

She smiled at him, nodding. Turning, she rose and left the bed. Pulling her nightdress down, she walked barefoot across the hall to the room that had been outfitted as the nursery.

Returning a minute later she told him to sit up. Pushing himself up to lean his back against the pillows lining the headboard, she placed the small bundle in his arms.

"This is Neddy. Well, Edward Horatio to be correct."

The full moon outside gave enough light. Horatio stared at the sleeping infant in wonder. He traced the outline of the round cheeks with the tip of one finger, his other hand cradling the baby as he grasped one finger with his entire hand.

"He's so strong." There was a small smile on his face, finally.

"Yes. He's perfect."

Taking one hand, he looked at her sitting next to him, touched her hair. His other hand still protecting the baby, he murmured, "I do love you, Mavis. You know that, don't you?" She nodded.

There was a light tap on the door. As it opened, Sophie walked in, intent on Mavis. "I heard voices—Is the baby ill?"

"Mama, Horatio is home."

Seeing him in the darkened room, she breathed, "Thank God."

Sitting in bed, his nakedness covered, barely, by the sheet and the night, with his son on his lap, Horatio kissed Sophie's offered cheek.

"We were worried about you. I know that's the one thing that we're never supposed to tell you, but that's the truth."

"I'm home and I'm fine. Better than fine now." He looked down at the sleeping child in his lap.

"And you're exhausted, too. Sleep now, both of you." She started to lift the baby away.

"Could he stay? Please?"

Seeing the look on his face, she relented. "I'll get his basket, he can stay on the floor here next to you."

The baby asleep in his carrying basket, Horatio smiled his thanks as she closed the door behind her.

They settled down, the babe next to them, Mavis on her back, Horatio on his side

Facing her. He rested one hand on her hip. He turned his head to look at the sleeping baby. "God. He's amazing."

"He is. I think it every day."

He leaned over to kiss her. "I'm sorry. About before."

"It's all right. I understand."

Tears welled up again in him. Nodding his thanks, he quieted himself to sleep, Neddy safely beside them. She curled into his shoulder, his arm around her.

"I was so afraid when you went to sea with Sawyer. I was afraid that you wouldn't come back."

"I'm all right, love. I'm fine. And I'm home for a while."

"I love you, Horatio."

"I know that you do. Sleep now."

She could feel the tension in his muscles, in the way his arm held her, the sound of his voice. He wasn't all right, and she knew it.

The next morning Horatio was still deeply asleep when Mavis took Neddy down with her for breakfast. He had lost more weight in the last year and the dark smudges around his eyes frightened her. It was worse than she had ever suspected.

Sitting at the table with Sophie she quietly voiced her concerns. "He was telling me about some of what happened, Mama. It sounded so awful. Did you know that poor Archie was killed? He was shot and he lingered for over a week before he succumbed. Horatio sat with him as he died. And Captain Sawyer was killed, too, possibly murdered. Then he said something about a Court Martial and that Papa was the main judge. How could something like this have happened?"

"Mavis, your father wrote me about all this a month or so ago. Wait here, I'll show you." She returned with a thick letter that she handed over. "You need to know about this so that you can help him, darling."

After reading Edward's recounting of the events in the Indies regarding Renown and her crew, Mavis was unsure of what to do. The enormity of what had happened overwhelmed her. The deaths, the trial, Horatio's guilt over his Archie's confession and subsequent death and the gain and loss of his ship were almost beyond her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I decided to wait until he was home, or we at least had some idea when he might arrive. I saw no point in your fretting before there was anything that you could have done to help."

"You should have told me."

"Perhaps, but concern yourself now with how you can help him. Anger at me won't accomplish anything."

Mavis was silent for several minutes, thinking while she picked at her food. "He's not himself. He's like a different man. Last night he was a stranger."

"After what he's been through, you can't be surprised. He'll need time and your understanding. You must help him, darling. He needs you now."

"I know that, what I don't know is what to do…Mama, did anything like this ever happen with Papa?"

"Yes, once. When he came home after Horatio and the Spanish captured his crew. He blamed himself. He said that those good men had been lost through his carelessness, that he's had to write the letters to their families. He would have written to Jacob now that I think of it. He just kept repeating what a waste of good men it had all been."

"What did you do?"

"There wasn't all that much I could do, really, other than listen to him and let him know that I loved him. He had to come to terms with it, to accept that in fact it wasn't his fault and that men lost in war are tragic, of course, but part of the price that's paid. Finally he was more himself, but he felt it keenly.

"Let Horatio lead you. Listen to what he has to say and pay attention. Let him play with Neddy, that will help him see life again instead of death. And dearestunderstand that there will likely be times when he'll need to be on his own."

Mavis was looking at her plate. "What if he doesn't return to the man he was before he left?"

Sophie paused as she chose her words. "He probably won't be ever be quite the same, darling. After what he's endured over the past year and more, I don't see how anyone could be. You must decide if who he is now is a man you still love."

"You're not suggesting that I leave him, are you?"

"No, I'm not. That would be the wrong thing for you and he both. I think that if he lost you on top of everything else, he might not be able to recover. Let him move at his own pace. He needs sleep and food and to be loved."

"Perhaps we could go to Kent, stay with Jacob. It's quiet there. Jacob was telling me about it one of his letters, and he's dying to see Neddy."

"Perhaps, but let Horatio decided when he's ready. Remember, they're still repairing their breech." Mavis nodded in agreement. This would take time.

He slept well past one in the afternoon. Preston had accepted delivery of his sea chest and Mavis had gone through it to see what could be salvaged and what would need to be replaced. Most of his clothing was in tatters. Things that had been old when he had left were beyond repair and the new things were about at the end of their use. Taking a set of civilian clothing from where they had been stored for him, she entered their bedroom to find him awake but still in bed, now sitting up and looking out the windows. He turned his head when he saw her.

"Good morning. I seem to have overslept."

"It's good afternoon and it doesn't matter."

There was a silence. "I've brought you clean clothes."

"Thank youMavis, I'm truly sorry about last night. I don't know what I was…."

She crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. Her hand gently covering his. "It's of no matter. You're home and you're well and you'll be here for some time. You can rest and become yourself again." He looked at her sharply at that remark. "And you can get to know your son. He's really quite marvelous."

"I've not heard a word from him this morning, where is he?"

"Nanny has him out to the park. I didn't want you to be disturbed. They should be back soon." He nodded, turning his face back out to the window.

"Dearest, you told me some of what happened. Would you tell me more?"

"What would you like to know?"

"What happened to Sawyer?"

"He was killed by the Spanish prisoners when they were trying to take over Renown. He was shot along with one of the Mid's. That's when Archie was shot, also, and the second lieutenant, Bush, was wounded."

"Papa said that he had to preside over a trial."

"Yes."

She was quiet for a minute as she tried to think what next to say. "After you're dressed, would you like to walk with me? We could take Neddy out again. It's a beautiful day."

"Yes, all right."

"I'll have some hot water brought up and have some food ready for you downstairs."

"Thank you." He turned away. She rose, feeling awkward, and was leaving when she heard his voice. "Mavis."

"Yes." She turned.

"Please." He lifted his hand to her, beckoning her to him. Bridging the few feet between them, she slid across the bed, embracing him, pressing close to him. His arms encircled her, pulling her to him. His hands stroked over her, his mouth was in her hair next to her ear. "Thank God that you're here. I missed you so desperately. The entire time we were in the Indies I thought of you. Through Sawyer's insanity, the beatings and the bad food and the heat. Through the Spanish and the storms and the fighting and the deaths and the trial, yours was the face that I clung to. When Archie died, all I wanted was to tell you, to hold you and have your arms about me. I needed you so desperately and I was so afraid that you were in danger with the baby. I had the most awful nightmares where I relived my mother's death, except it was you instead of her."

She was stroking his face now as he spoke, letting him again talk out what he had been through.

"I couldn't bear to lose you."

"Nor I you."

"How long will you be home, dearest?"

"A while, I've been reduced back to Lieutenant and am without a position unless I can find something."

"Papa will be home soon. He'll now more of what's happening with the Admiralty."

"Mavis, I won't trade on his connections, you know how I feel about…"

"Yes, I know. That's not what I said. He'll simply know what is happening with the fleet. He'll do nothing that you don't agree to, you know that."

"I won't have him pass me along. I'll do this on my own, Mavis. You know that."

"Yes, I do, and you will."

"I'll get dressed now. Would you have that water sent up?"

Nodding, she went over to the door. "I love you, Horatio."

The days passed uneventfully and slowly. The days were fine.

The nights were bad. He had nightmares at first. Horrible dreams where he would thrash and cry out and finally, if Mavis were lucky, wake to be comforted. If she were not that fortunate, he would sleep on, lost in his own world of death and pain, unreachable. He would wake in the morning tired and grim and closed to her for the rest of the day, snapping at her should she think to intrude on his silences. He would sit for hours, staring down at the harbor. The day that Renown dropped anchor was among the worst since he had returned home. He barely said a single word all day, finally going out for a walk that lasted more than seven hours. Frantic when he came home well after midnight, Mavis received no answers to her questions, only a polite request that she leave him in peace.

Finally, painfully, slowly, over the weeks and then months, Horatio started to return to the man he had been, seemingly beginning to come to grips with what had happened. The bad dreams became less and less frequent, though they didn't entirely disappear. He began to smile more easily and took delight in Neddy, holding him for hours, studying him, and making him laugh.

Mavis let him set the pace of his days. He would rise to breakfast with the two women, then retire back upstairs where he would give the baby his bath. Thought they had a housefull of servants and a Nanny for that purpose, he preferred to do the simple task himself with only Mavis as his occasional helper.

Soaping the small body, carefully holding the child, rinsing the soap away and then drying and dressing the small body seemed to relax him more than almost anything else. One day, while bringing him a clean towel, Mavis heard his voice as he spoke to the infant.

"So, you see, that's why you reef a sail in a high wind. The safety of the ship and the men are the prime issue at all times, Neddy. A good captain never forgets that the men under his command are in his care and not just there to do his bidding. It's a fine line to walk, young man." She waited a few moments before entering the room.

He hadn't spoken about the last voyage since the first few days of his return. When questioned, he would politely decline to answer or change the subject. Neither Sophie nor Mavis pushed him on this.

Finally, during the second month of his return, Mavis suggested that they might travel to Kent to let him see how Neddy had grown. Somewhat taken aback, Horatio had asked if perhaps Jacob might make the trip to Portsmouth instead, saving them the trouble of the journey with an infant.

"Well, yes, we could ask him here and I know that Mama would love to see him again, but I've never seen where you grew up. And I know that he wants to show off his grandson to his friends."

"Perhaps. But I prefer that Neddy not have to endure that trip. He's so small, Mavis."

"He's not small, he's quite robust for a six month old and he's in perfect health."

"I thought that Sir Edward was expected home shortly. I'm sure that he's eager to see the baby. It would be thoughtless to not wait for him, dearest."

Knowing that Horatio would come up with endless excuses, she let the idea drop for the present, sending Jacob a letter of invitation for the next week.

Later that night as they prepared to retire Horatio asked her if she was annoyed at him for not wanting to travel to the village.

"No, I realize that the journey would be complicated by the baby. It's fine, Jacob will likely come here, and you're right about Papa coming home soon."

"But you're disappointed?"

"I'd like to see where you grew up, that's all."

"And you will, when the time is right. I promise."

She climbed in beside him, taking his hand. He turned on his side, head in hand, his other still in hers resting on her stomach. "Are you still worried about me? I am fine, you know. Being here with you and Neddy has acted as a tonic."

"No, I know that you're strong. It was awful, but you'll put it behind you." He raised her hand to his lips, nodding. Kissing her fingers, he slipped one into his mouth, gently sucking on it.

He moved his hand now to her breasts, caressing one as he watched her face, her eyes also locked on him. Smiling slightly, he increased the pressure, massaging in a circular movement. His movements were slow, languorous, erotic. Dipping his head, he locked his lips over her nipple, mouthing her through the silk fabric, leaving a wet mark. Smiling at her still, he moved them both so that he could pull the nightdress over her head. His own nightshirt joined hers on the floor.

Naked, he moved over her, kissing her deeply, his tongue probing her mouth, her tongue gliding over his own. They moved as serpents, sliding, gliding, wrapping about each other.

Finally, he moved down to her chin, her jaw. He continued down to her throat, her shoulders to her chest.

Knowing what he wanted to do, she whispered, "No, please."

"I want to. Let me."

"Please…."

He continued despite her plea, his mouth fastening onto her breast where Neddy had been just an hour before. Gently, firmly, he suckled her, drinking, swallowing. Her hand moved o his head, caressing, urging him to continue. "What do I taste like?"

He moved up to her, kissing her, transferring some of the milk to her mouth. "Rich, sweet. Wonderful"

When he had emptied one side of her, he lifted his face enough to see her expression. Looking satisfied, he moved to the other side. Feasting on her milk, he turned the nurturing she gave to their son into a sensual delight for them both.

She heard herself moan as he drained her. He finished his meal and moved over her, his hand now slipping down between then, sliding over her slick lower lips. "You liked that, didn't you? You're so wet—does that happen with Neddy, too? Should I be jealous that he can do this all day?"

"No, it's not quite the same with him." She smiled as she searched for the words. "With him it's giving, with you it's give and take."

"Well, take this, my dear." He pushed the entire length of himself inside of her, causing her to gasp at the feeling, the filling. They fell into the familiar rhythm, the give and the take, the back and forth, the push and the pull. He grasped her harder, his movements becoming more demanding, hers matching his in force and desire.

Releasing himself into her, he felt her own orgasm move through her as he was just finished. Lying heavily upon her, a sheen of sweat on his face and back, he kissed her forehead and then her mouth.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't here for you with Neddy. I thought about you with a big belly and wanted to put my hands on you and feel him kicking. I had dreams about that when we were away. I'm sorry that you had to do that without me."

"I missed you desperately, but I had Mama and then your father was here to help when Neddy came. He was wonderful with me. I kept thinking that you would have been like that if you'd been able to be here—kind and gentle and patient."

"I was so frightened for you. I was so afraid that there would be problems and that you would be—that everything wouldn't be alright."

She kissed him so that he'd know she had been fine. He settled back down with his head on her chest.

"I'm sorry, Mavis. We shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't have done this tonight. It would be too hard on you to have another child so soon."

She leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "It will be alright. I love you and I can never deny you anything. You know that."

"Yes, I know. That's why I shouldn't have done this tonight."

He kissed the hollow between her breasts, carefully moved to her side, and cradled her against him spoon fashion.

"I'm fine. You worry too much, love."

She heard his quiet laugh. "You're not the first person to tell me that. Good night, Sweeting."

Three days later Horatio was sitting in the favorite chair in the conservatory when he heard a commotion coming from the front of the house. Thinking that something might be wrong, he hurried to the foyer.

Embracing Lady Sophie stood Sir Edward, resplendid in Commodore's full uniform, minus only the hat and cloak.

Mavis was coming down the stairs at the sounds. Carrying Neddy who she handed over to Preston, the happiness on her face matched that of Sophie's. "Papa! Finally!" Pellew was transferred from one embrace to another, equally heartfelt. Turning he saw Horatio standing slightly apart, allowing the inner family their reunion.

Gently putting Mavis aside, he held out his hand to the younger man. Wordlessly, they clasped hands, searching each other's faces. "Are you all right, Horatio?"

"Yes, sir. I am."

Nodding, "Good."

A moment of silence them Sophie broke the quiet with, "Well! This uniform needs a good brushing and you must be famished."

"First I believe that I would like to meet my namesake, if that might be arranged, madam."

Taking the baby from Preston, Horatio passed him to Sir Edward.

"Well, you are a fine fellow, aren't you?" Neddy regarded him steadily, curiously, his small fingers reaching up to Edward's face and grasping his nose. Neddy's eyes were what everyone noticed first. He had his father's eyes—large, dark, serious and looking uncompromisingly out at the world. "There's no doubting who your father is, now is there, Ned?"

Without warning the child burst out with a gurgle of laughter as though the very idea was the silliest thing that he'd ever heard. His hand slapping against Edward's face, his grandfather joined in the joke.

"Well, this one makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it then?" Keeping hold of the baby, Edward allowed himself to be moved into the conservatory where he sat himself down in preparation for the ritual series of questions that he knew from experience he would be expected to answer from both his wife and daughter.

After assuring themselves that he was, indeed, just fine and that the voyage had gone well—other than the awful business in the Indies—the women allowed the two men to have the conversation that Edward was obviously anxious for. Taking Neddy with her, Sophie kissed Edward gently on the forehead. "I'm glad that you're back, dearest." "As am I." Their shared smile was warm. "I'll leave you two alone then."

Sipping their brandies, the Commodore was the first to speak.

"I've heard that war is likely with France soon. Have you been keeping up with current events?" To the point, as always.

"Yes, so far as I've been able. I thought so, too from the reports. I've heard rumors that the military will be recalling halfpay officers shortly."

Edward nodded. "Will you go? You'll receive that promotion confirmation, you know. You'll likely be given a ship."

"I thought as much. Yes, of course I'll go." He hesitated. "Sir Edward, you've been so solicitous of me and my career, but I must ask—forgive me—but I really must ask that you do nothing to facilitate in anyway a position for me with the Admiralty. I really must insist on this."

Looking over at him, he agreed. "Yes, if that's what you wish, I'll not lift a finger."

"Thank you, sir."

Another pause while they watched the ships below in the harbor. "That was a nasty business with Renown, Horatio. You were lucky to come out of it as you did. Guilty or innocent, you could easily have been hung for your part in that."

Horatio looked into his glass, as though studying the contents. "If it had come to it, would you have ordered my execution?"

"I honestly don't know. If I have thought you guilty, I think so, but I knew that you were innocent and that you saved the ship and most of the men aboard her. After I knew that, I only had to find a way to allow you to be freed."

"I was guilty, you know. Technically. We did discuss how to remove Sawyer from command. If Archie hadn't confessed, if he hadn't taken the blame from the rest of us, the outcome would have been different."

Seeing that the young man was wanting more than was in his words, Pellew answered the unasked question. "Sometimes you have to weigh the reality of the situation against the regulations. Guilty of discussing mutiny or not, the fact was that Sawyer was mad and you were in an impossible position with him in command. For the good of the ship and the men in her, he had to be removed. You did what you had to do. As did Kennedy."

"Yes, I know that…thank you for allowing him to be buried at sea. He would have appreciated that. I know that I did, and the men."

"I owed him that much."

"I wrote his family, but never heard back. I fear that their minds are made up as far as he was concerned."

The companionable silence returned for a few minutes. "Everything all right with you and Mavis?"

"Yes, it's good between us. It was difficult when I first returned, but now it's fine. Neddy is wonderful. I had no idea that a baby was so much fun." Horatio was openly smiling, the love for his son obvious. They could hear the baby crying in another room.

"I wouldn't know, actually. When I married Sophie, Mavis was twelve and ready to fall in love with you."

"Yes, so it seems. It took me a bit longer, but I got there."

"Yes, and not a minute too soon." Mavis walked around the corner to where they were sitting. "Your son was crying for you, here you are." Placing the crying infant in his lap, she pulled a hassock over, sitting down in front of the men. Neddy had quieted almost immediately and was happily pressing against Horatio's chest, grabbing his fingers.

"Mama says that she's had a bath prepared for you and you're to go up and let her have those clothes that you're wearing as she thinks that they'll likely need attention."

Knowing the futility of even attempting to argue, he rose, nodded and left to face his wife.

Later that night, bathed, fed and relaxed in bed, Sophie's voice sounded in the darkened room.

"Do you think that you could have ordered his execution if it had come down to it?"

"No."

She turned over to face him, sliding over so that she could kiss him. "I knew that. I just wanted to hear you say it." Her hands were on his chest, moving in the small circles over his breasts that she knew he liked. Sitting up, she reached and pulled her nightdress over her head, dropping it onto the floor. In the half-light of the moonglow she saw the anticipatory smile raise the corners of his mouth. Mirroring his expression, she reached down to pull his nightshirt up, laughing lightly to find that he had already done so.

She lay full upon him, kissing his mouth, her hands caressing his shoulders, her hips undulating against his own. His tongue carefully moved down her chin to her throat where he began suckling the soft skin there. Her hips still moving, she finally moved slightly away from him, her legs straddling him.

She raised herself up, almost sitting, sliding up and down, back and forth against his erection. Her fluids slicked the way as she moved with more and more intent. He grasped her around the waist, intent on ending the teasing, wanting to be inside of her. Laughing, shaking her head, she eluded him, rubbing herself against the head of his penis without letting him enter her, forcing him to pleasure her while he waited, drawing out the inevitable ending.

Rubbing harder, faster, wishing the obvious result, she came quietly atop him. He felt her tense, felt her clench her hands in his. When she collapsed on him, he put his arms around her, flipping her onto her back. She was almost boneless as he entered her. With his first thrust she began coming again.

"I take it that you missed me, madam?"

Unable to answer, she just smiled as she felt the spasms begin again as he moved in and out of her. It had been too many months without her and he had no choice but to come quickly, with her, simultaneously.

Lying together, he embraced her tenderly. Kissing softly, exchanging small endearments.

"I do love you, Sophie.

"And I you, dearest. It's so very good to have you home."

Through the wall they could hear the bed protesting in the next room. In the late night silence they could near the cries and moans coming from the younger couple. It continued for quite a while. Quite a long while, in fact. Finally they heard what could only have been the conclusion from both Mavis and Horatio.

"They do that every night, do they?"

"Well, yes, so far they have, I believe.

"Good God. How on earth do you sleep?"

"I've learned to turn a deaf ear, Edward."

"Good God."

They spoke quietly together of the last voyage, of the trial. Edward asked questions about the baby and how Mavis had fared without Horatio to help her. Sophie answered him calmly, occasionally reaching to kiss his hand or shoulder or cheek.

Finally, "Good Night, Dearest." "Sleep well, Sweeting."

The bed on the other side of the wall began its protest again. Laughing, they attempted to sleep.

Another fortnight passed with Sir Edward regaining his landlegs after the troubles of the last voyage.

He spent the time in quiet pursuits, reading, letter writing, eating well and talking with his family. He took great pleasure in Neddy, transforming himself overnight into a doting Grandfather. Lady Sophie had silently backed out of the room the day she came upon him on his belly on the study carpet, dangling his gold watch and jangling fobs for the baby's amusement, leaving the two at them to their game.

A week after that, war was declared with the new French Government. There had been rumblings for weeks, of course, but they all knew that this would mean the recall of all officers to active service. They were at dinner when the dispatches arrived for each of the men.

After a quick first reading Horatio announced to the table that his promotion to Commander was now approved and he had been assigned to command Sloop of War, Hotspur.

"When Horatio?" Mavis' question was asked softly.

"We sail in ten days." She nodded, accepting.

Sophie looked down the table to Edward. "Well?"

"I'm to have the eastern Med fleet. I leave for Gibraltar as soon as is feasible. I'll meet my ship there. It looks like I'm to have Tonnant as flagship."

"Congratulations, sir. I'm attached to your fleet, it appears."

"Yes. I hope you don't mind that I requested you. I need someone there I can count on for some work that we'll have to do. Perhaps you'd be so kind as to provide me with transportation to my ship."

"Of course."

"Ten days isn't much time to prepare a vessel. You'll be busy. Have you anyone in mind as a first?"

"Bush, if he's available. The Admiralty will know where to contact him."

"I hope that you don't mind, but I though that you'd say that. I've already made inquiries. He's on his way here from his family home."

Horatio looked at him for a second. "Thank you."

"…We are pressed for time, Horatio. I thought it best and I was under orders not to discuss the mobilization."

"Of course, sir."

"As one of the first ships to ready, you should have no problems getting a decent crew, so that should be of help.'

"Yes, I'll see what I can do about securing any of my old division who might still be about."

And so the discussion about the fitting out went on, the men retiring to the study to discuss the mission the Commodore had selected for Hotspur. Horatio would leave early for the dock in the morning and the next week and a half would be taken up with the needed prep work.

Much later Horatio went upstairs in search of his wife. He found her leaning her arms on the edge of Neddy's cradle. Evidently she had been there for sometime.

Silently approaching her, he put his arms around her waist from behind. Leaning back she rested her head on his shoulder, her hands on his at her waist.

"I'll be fine. You're not to worry about me."

"I know that you'll be all right and you know that I'll worry. Just like Mama and Papa."

He kissed her neck.

"We still haven't had a chance to move into out own home. It's almost finished, I wanted to surprise you with it."

"You will, when I come back."

He felt her head nod.

"Do you think that you're pregnant this time?"

"I don't know, maybe. With Neddy I knew the …time that it happened. This time I'm just not sure."

"Stay with your mother while I'm gone. I don't like to think of you alone."

"You're alone."

"That's different, and I'm surrounded by men. I'll be fine, love. Truly I will." She turned to face him. Nuzzling her throat he added, "I'd rather be surrounded by you, Sweeting."

"Yes." Taking his hand, they crossed the hall, knowing that Nanny would tend to the baby if need be.

The time went quickly. The night before Hotspur was to leave there was a small gathering at the Pellew home. Officer's from both Hotspur and a few from Tonnant were there as well as some of the men whose time had not yet come to leave or who were posted to shore stations.

Mavis and Sophie, acting as hostesses, stayed in the background. They knew that this was a situation where the men were together to discuss the business of a new war. Though Edward and Horatio would ask them their opinions in private, here they knew their place.

Finally, the evening over, the guests gone to their homes or billets or ships, the family retired for what would be a short night for them all.

The sea chests had, once again, been packed and taken aboard, there was nothing left to do other than wait to board in a few hours.

Horatio and Mavis were lying naked half sitting up against the pillows along the headboard. Partly covered by the sheet, she was curled into his shoulder, feeling him, his skin, and his warmth, breathing in his smell.

They only had a short time left.

"I'll write you, you know that. And I'll send you pictures of Neddy. I'll tell you all about him."

"He'll forget me. He's too young, he'll not remember."

"He will, I'll be sure of it. I'll read him all your letters and I'll tell him about every mention in the Chronicle. He'll know you."

"This trip isn't like the last, you know that. There'll be no Sawyer and I've my own ship this time. I'll be fine."

She slid her leg up across his, coming to rest against his genitals, caressing him with her knee.

"Mama says that when you're married to a sailor, every time they come home, it's like a honeymoon."

"Then we've something to look forward to." He kissed her, deeply. Their tongues glided over each other.

He asked her, "Mavis?"

"Of course."

Gently, slowly, he rolled her over onto her back. Already hard she opened her legs to grant him access.

She relished the feel of him on her, his weight pressing her into the mattress, his warmth covering her so that even on a cold night she would be warm when they made love. She felt him enter her, pressing inside; filling the space that was only his.

She listened to his breathing, starting to come faster, could feel him moving against and on top of her. His movements became more urgent, as his need became more demanding. She felt his muscles beginning to strain, moving her hands in a glide up and then down his back. Grabbing his backside, she pulled him further inside of her, wanting to give him all of her. Her legs came up, locking around his waist as he rode her.

His breath was on her ear, in her hair. Too soon and without warning she felt the shudder begin which signaled his finish. His body tensed in spasms, his groan was muffled against her neck.

He collapsed on her, his breath coming in gasps, his skin slick with sweat.

She was the only one to know him like this. She was the only one to see his face, feel his body, know the sounds he made and the movements he liked best. She was the woman who could touch him and hold him, to be able to stroke any part of him and be welcomed in doing so.

His mouth nuzzling her neck, probably leaving a mark, he was the only one allowed such a liberty.

He turned back from the open front door to kiss her once more. Embracing, she felt the heavy uniform through her thin nightdress and wrap. The brass buttons pressing into her.

After a moment, she let him go.

The End.

8/4/02

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