A/N: Possible Season 4 Finale spoilers? Rumblings I've seen on Tumblr, so proceed at your own risk. Just my imaginings of how that scenario might play out with Bellamy and Clarke. Just a small one-shot. Please review!
The ship would never make it back to Earth without the appropriate entry codes, ALLIE's drones would make sure of that. The ship would never make it back if somebody didn't stay behind. The realization dawned on them all at the same time. Harper gasped. Jasper chuckled lowly, "Well, of course."
Clarke turned to Raven immediately, "Is there a way to do it remotely?"
Raven shook her head gravely. "If there is I'll figure it out."
The next hour moved by slowly. Clarke paced the hallway outside the containment room. Bellamy leaned against the wall, his eyes on the floor.
"Clarke," he said softly, "She'll figure something out. It's Raven."
Clarke stopped pacing and looked up at him, "And if she doesn't, Bellamy? What then?"
His brows furrowed together, as if he couldn't believe there was a problem Raven couldn't solve. "She'll figure it out. She will." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the wall next to him. "Stop pacing. You're giving me a headache." Clarke sighed heavily and folded her arms across her chest.
"How are you so calm about this? After everything we've been through?"
Bellamy stared straight ahead, "If it comes down to it Clarke, I'm prepared to stay behind." He said it simply, matter-of-factly, like the decision had been made.
Clarke couldn't look at him, and after a long moment said, "You don't deserve that, Bellamy," she whispered, "You don't deserve to be left behind."
"Don't I? After everything I've done..." he trailed off.
Clarke's mind pulled her back to the moment she walked away, to the moment she left them all...left Bellamy.
What we did, Clarke. You don't have to do this alone.
"What we did, Bellamy. Neither of us is innocent," she paused, her eyes still forward, "You have to be on that ship." Bellamy finally turned to her, his eyes locked onto hers, "Why?" His tone demanded an answer she wasn't prepared to give. Her eyes tried to look away, confused at what she should say next. A heartbeat later Raven opened the door. The moment between them was broken and they both looked anxiously to Raven.
"I've tried everything I could think of," she began, running a hand through her hair, "It can't be done." She stood up straight and crossed her arms, "Someone has to be left behind." Bellamy nodded and made to move towards the room where the others were waiting.
"Wait!" Clarke grabbed his arm, a sense of desperation lodged in her throat, "We-we should draw straws."
Raven snorted, "What?"
"Clarke," Bellamy sighed, "Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm not. We're done deciding who lives and dies. For once, we'll let fate decide. Anyone who is willing can participate."
"And if it's just me that volunteers?" Bellamy raised his eyebrows at her.
"You won't be by yourself." Clarke meet his eyes, daring him to protest. A long moment passed between them, each trying to get the other to back down.
Raven spoke up first, "I say we do it. Fate's toyed with us enough. Let's give it one last cosmic victory." Clarke smirked at Bellamy as Raven began to walk back to the group. As she turned to walk away, Bellamy grabbed her elbow, "What are you trying to do Clarke?"
What was she trying to do? Bellamy looked into her eyes, his expression still asking her, "Why?" There was a tension there, a fear settling in the pit of Clarke's stomach. Maybe...just maybe fate would give her a chance to find out what it all meant. "It's the right thing to do, Bellamy."
About twenty minutes later Kane, Jaha, Monty, Murphy, Miller, Harper, Jasper, Clarke, and Bellamy all stood in a circle. Abby and Raven had wanted to join them, but Clarke had insisted that they needed to ensure that one doctor and engineer remained on board the ship. Abby finished cutting and measuring the sticks they would use. She pressed them into Clarke's hand, and then leaned in to cup Clarke's cheek. "How can I bear to say goodbye to you again?" Her eyes welled with tears.
Clarke closed her eyes briefly and leaned into her mother's touch, "We don't know that yet, Mom." Abby sniffled and nodded her head, pulling away from Clarke.
Clarke's hands were clammy as she rejoined the circle and stood in front of Kane first. He drew quickly. The others followed suit until it was just her and Bellamy left. Standing in front of him, he didn't even look down at the two remaining sticks in her hands. After he selected his she stood next to him and faced the others.
"Okay," she said, "Let's see." In silence, everyone opened up their hands. She looked to Bellamy's first and her heart leapt: his stick stretched across the length of his palm. Good, she thought. She began to look at the rest of the group.
Long, long, long, long, long, long, long...her forehead wrinkled in confusion, where was the shortest stick?
Her concentration broke as she heard a loud cry escape from her mother. Clarke found her mother's face strewn with tears and it was then that she glanced down into her own hand. The stick barely covered her index finger.
Fate, it seemed, had decided.
"Oh," she breathed out. She wanted to fall over, but she couldn't, not here. She cleared her throat, her eyes on the floor, "Okay." She tried to sound confident. She tried to sound fine. The group looked at her sadly, a mixture of relief and sorrow. She still couldn't bring herself to look over at Bellamy, so instead she just walked out of the room. Almost immediately, he went after her.
Abby moved to follow her daughter too, but Kane's hand slowed her, "Let him," he cautioned.
Clarke sat in front of the computer that in five years' time she would use to guide the ship back down to Earth. She heard the door open and the heavy footsteps of Bellamy behind her. A few minutes passed before he knelt down beside her. It wasn't until he took her hand that she could bring herself to face him.
"Please," she said, "Please don't make this harder than it has to be." A tear spilled over her cheek and she brushed it away quickly. "The ship will be prepped to leave in one hour."
Bellamy struggled to find the right thing to say. Finally, he repeated her words back to her, "You have to be on that ship, Clarke."
And now it was her turn to ask him, to find out if that same tension was in his heart, "Why?"
His face moved, wrinkles forming around his mouth, his eyes glassy. "Let me-"
"No," Clarke said over him, "That's not how-"
"-stay with you."
"What?"
"You heard me. let me stay with you. You don't have to do this alone," he cleared his voice, and then more quietly, "You don't have to be alone."
For a soaring moment Clarke allowed herself to imagine what those five years could look like, of being together...of being the only two people in the whole world. The corners of her mouth twitched up. But then that moment ended, and the truth that that could never happen hit her hard.
"You know we can't do that."
A low sound came from the back of Bellamy's throat and he stood up, walking away from her, "Then let me take your place. I'll take your place, Clarke."
Clarke shook her head. Fate had decided. And for once, she was going to heed its desires.
"I'm sorry," she rose from the chair and crossed the room to him. His arms were crossed against his chest. His face softened at her words.
"I won't let you," she said. He moved his arms to his side and turned away from her, running his sleeve over his cheek.
"You'll come back," she said, clinging to that truth. His eyes found hers instantly again, "I'll come back," he repeated, his voice strong and sure.
The prospect of not seeing him spurred Clarke forward into his arms. His hands wound around her waist and he hugged her back tightly.
"You'll come back," she said again, willing fate to make them true. He nodded into her hair, "I'll come back to you." He pulled her in closer and turned to kiss her on the cheek. This time though, it was him that was leaving. The irony was not lost on her and she swallowed tears back.
Forty five minutes later, Clarke had suffered through saying goodbye to everyone, her mother included. Raven ensured her that once they'd cleared the atmosphere, she'd figure out how to contact Clarke and set up communication between them. They were all loaded into the ship. Everyone except Bellamy, of course. He had feigned needing to check Clarke's ammo supply one last time.
He finally made his way up to her, unsure of what to do. Clarke smiled slowly and pulled a weathered book from behind her back. She held it out to him, "I found it in Becca's bedroom," she tilted her head, "My bedroom," she realized.
Bellamy glanced down at the book, The Odyssey. He smiled.
"It's about Odysseus's journey back home," Clarke told him factually.
"I know what it's about," he said. He closed his eyes and then stepped forward as he opened them, taking her hand. He looked unsure for a second before the resolve came back into his eyes. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. Clarke sighed into him. It lasted a second, maybe less, and he had pulled away.
"I'll come back to you," his words ghosted over her lips. And then, the ship door was closing and he was gone.