Some things can't be ignored.
What if Grissom had been watching Sara more closer then he let on… for over seven years and he had seen something that should have proven that they were never meant to be together.
I want to be selfish… for nearly two years I have been, never admitting to the truth that had been gathered over the past seven years.
I pushed her far away from me, knowing that no matter what I did she always came back to me. But I knew deep down in my heart that she only did this because she was running from him, I could never be that blind not to see how they acted always denying what I saw.
I got selfish two years ago when it happened… when Nick was nearly lost to us all and I saw the hurt in her eyes as she watched him for days afterwards.
I couldn't stand to think that she would stop our game because she might wake up, so I moved and I tampered with the evidence and gave her hope that she could move on.
Two years of a secret relationship and I breathed easy as kept him at arms length, but it didn't matter my eyes always watched for the unknown actions the looks the touches. No matter what she did she couldn't rid herself of the feelings she had for him and I selfishly took away the only thing that was keeping her denying herself… I took away the chase we had.
"Why now" her voice broke through my thoughts causing me to look into her deep and soulful brown eyes, despite the fact that she was smart she was oblivious to feelings especially her own.
"Sara" "I just need to know what I've done… is it because of what happened" Sara questioned as her eyes flicker away and I sigh. The guilt had settled deep within me weeks ago… my selfish actions had nearly cost Sara her life and yet I still clung to our not so secret relationship. But he woke up to the fact that he nearly lost her and he was willing to be just as selfish as I was.
"Sara, it has nothing to with what happened… but it has everything to do with what I've seen, we can't do this anymore because… because we both know that you don't love me" I tell her with a pained tone, she shakes her head glaring at me with determination. Her determined nature rearing it's head, I fell in love with this more then anything but the truth was she was losing this as she pushed him away.
"Gil I don't understand" "I'm a CSI Sara and for seven years I've been collecting the evidence about you… weighting the pros and cons, don't hate me for that but the truth is after seven years I've seen that it's not me you love" I tell her as her eyes gloss for a moment before she snaps her eyes away.
She can't hide from the truth anymore… and neither can I.
"It started with the touching… little things that made you think it was all friendship but I could see" I tell her as her head sinks lower.
"Hey Sidle" Nick calls as he chases her down the corridor… I watch from my hidden spot engrossed in my case. But I look up when he finally catches her, I was so eager to discover how my team were working together after a month. Things hadn't started off easy and I feared that Nick and Sara wouldn't make it as it was Nick's best friend who Sara investigated.
"Hey cowboy" Sara said that with such ease and a smirk as the pair stood together, smiling I was relieved that the pair had overcome their differences and even had the beginnings of a friendship.
"I got the results from Greg… he was a little disappointed that you didn't come by" Nick declared as Sara rolled her eyes then smirked and nudged his shoulder "maybe I should just inform little sanders that I have eyes for only one guy round here" Sara was being playful but it still irked something deep with in me.
Nick chuckled and moved an inch closer to her "really and who that might be… just looking out for Greggo" Nick declared as Sara smirked then winked "didn't you know that girls always like the cowboy" Sara retorted before walking down the corridor while Nick laughed and followed her.
I was strolling past the locker room, it had been a rough night… Nick was still dealing with his near miss.
Soft voices caused me to slow my pace and peered through the gap in the door to see Nick hunched over the bench. My heart twisted for him, he was so young and innocent that it wasn't fair what life was throwing at him.
I would have stepped in to offer some comforting words but a shadow moved and soon someone was sitting before him.
"Nicky" Sara's voice seemed so small, so innocent as her hand reached up and brushed no existence hair from his forehead. Things had changed so much within my team that I was surprise that they were so at ease with each other. And at least I was right when I knew I saw the beginnings of a friendship between Nick and Sara.
"Sara I can't talk about it" Nick told her not moving away from her, her hand moved to his back where it rested lightly.
"I don't care if you want to or not Nick… I just wanted you to know that I'm still here" Sara offered as Nick lifted his head and studied her before he buried his head against her shoulder. I was sure Sara would offer him an awkward hug in return but I was shocked and little jealous at how easy it looked when she wrapped Nick in a tight and protective hug.
I couldn't stand it, assuring myself that it was to give them privacy but something gnawed at my stomach.
The Christmas songs played loudly over my head as I made my way through the labs. Christmas was always a way for everyone at the LVPD to unwind and cherish the moments untouched by death and darkness.
Catherine and Warrick were mocking poor Greg who had dressed as a rather bright present, even Ecklie was loosing up.
I spotted them on the couch in the break room, Sara was leaning into Nick while she giggled. Her hand clutching at his arm while he shook his head.
"Sara come on it wasn't that funny" Nick mutter as Sara shook her head giving him that mega watt grin before he nudged her arm.
"Ok fine" she mumbled before she gathered up the present she had stashed by her feet, resting it on her bare knees tearing the sides of the paper as careful as she could.
After a few roll of his eyes Sara giggled and ripped the remaining paper from the package frowning at the brown box now sitting on her lap.
"Nicky" "Just open it sunshine" I wasn't sure when they had nicknamed each other but the ease they spoke to each other didn't seem to rest easy with me.
Sara pried the lid from the box and a smile spread across her face, turning she threw her arms around his neck enticing a chuckle from Nick.
I look away for a moment when my view of the pair was blocked when I looked back Nick was helping to straighten the cowboy hat on her head while the pair laughed.
"every cowboy needs a cowgirl" Nick offered as Sara swatted his arm then lent into him not minding how close they were sitting.
I would have never guessed I would never see that hat again… no one would apart from him.
I make my way past the break room, it had been weeks since Sara had the run that had changed her life. I told her it was just calls for help but she always made sure that her inventions were always open.
Looking up I see the dim light of the room to see them sitting there.
Knees barely touching heads held close together whispers lost to one another.
"Sar… this has to stop" he warns her and Sara simply nods her hands clasped before her "Nicky it's not that easy" Sara tells him before Nick sighs and grabs her joined hands.
"Sara it is… when you ask for help" Nick told her calmly as I wonder why it wasn't me who should be sitting there. I did of course offer her comforting words, I was the first and she had cried to me but now… I can see it wasn't just the comforting words but the fact that he meant them and I could only guess she knew that.
"I forgot how to say those words Nick… a long time ago" she offers and the gnawing feeling in my stomach grows. She had asked for help before she had asked me… or had she, the truth lingering in her tone made me think that maybe she just pretended to make sure I wouldn't push… I wouldn't interact because I couldn't always do that.
"Sara… maybe… from now on you don't have to ask me to help… just expect it" Nick promises her and I walk away. So what if he was friend, what if he could support her I loved her and she loved me, he never had that and he never will.
I made my self believe that for a time.
I only pretend to care now… the months had passed since I left her and broke my heart but the truth was out.
The touches and the looks remained between them but I was the only who knew what they truly meant. Nick would look at me from time to time… sometimes it would be for permission sometimes it would be to show how foolish I had been to let her go. But the looks that hurt the most was the happy ones… he wasn't really looking at me, he wasn't looking at anyone really just her and he was being selfish… he was being happy.
And I can't care anymore… I was always selfish and I still am because Nick and Sara are just following the obvious evidence to prove they are more then friends.
Some things just can't be ignored.
The End
I really don't know what inspired this… wait I do… Grissom is a CSI and if he saw the flirting banter, the looks and the touches between Sara and Nick over the years wouldn't he see what many of the Snickers fans see.