A/N: I typically don't like to have notes at the beginning of the story, but I felt like it was really necessary this time. The Shepard in this story identifies as asexual and she has some unique boundaries with Liara when it comes to sexy time that will be discussed and expanded upon over the course of this fic. Also, Liara (and all the other asari) have a different sort of anatomy than is usually portrayed in the fandom.
Dust Off Your Highest Hopes
Chapter One
The electric blue glow of multiple terminal screens provided the only available light in the large room, except in a distant corner where an equally blue sphere floated in silence. No sound other than regular breathing and the drum of gloved fingers on holographic keys broke the dark silence. The blue light eliminated a blue face, serious in the wake of the content reflected out of the screens. Months of work, months of careful searching and cataloguing had led to the twelve dossiers in front of her. Twelve people that would soon be converging on her location. They were all that was left.
Her family.
Behind Liara, Glyph powered on and announced the time. Liara sighed and ran one hand over her face tiredly. She hadn't had more than three hours of sleep the night before, too wound up to get proper rest, and not wanting to bother Shepard she had slipped off to her "lair" to continue working on her little side project.
She'd gotten very little real work done, though she had been pleased to hear from one of her deep cover operatives on Omega. Instead she had spiraled into what Shepard called "brooding" though Liara didn't understand why, she didn't plan on laying eggs any time soon.
Liara could admit, at least to herself, that she was nervous about the night ahead of her. She had never done well with other people; she was just too shy to make a good first impression. She was good enough at acting like she knew what she was doing, but it felt…wrong, the thought of having to act, to perform, for her family. And so, she didn't plan to, she was going to be herself entirely and that was more than a little frightening.
Aethyta knew her, and she knew that Aethyta even loved her though the demonstration was often a little odd. It wasn't often that an asari's father just gave her a group of mercenaries to do her bidding, after all. Still, though she knew logically that Aethyta wouldn't stop loving her just because of anything that would happen that night, she still wanted the rest of her family to at least like her, even if it was just a little bit. She didn't know if she would be able to bare the upset or the humiliation if it turned out otherwise.
Shaking away the gloomy thoughts, Liara stood from her desk and firmly turned her back on the information on the screens. She had done all she could to prepare, all that was left now was to wait.
Besides, she reminded herself, I will have Shepard with me.
"Standard procedure for all non-emergency correspondence, Glyph. Send anything else to my omni-tool."
"Yes, Dr. T'Soni. Would you like me to wake Commander Shepard as well?"
"No thank you. I will take care of that myself."
"Of course, Dr. T'Soni."
Liara took one more bracing breath and firmly walked away from her feeds.
The halls and rooms of the T'Soni Estate in Armali were silent and lit only by the natural sunlight that streamed through the many open windows. The sprawling manner home was one of seven that lined the western cost of Armali, the land extending all the way down to the sea. It had belonged to the T'Soni family for thirteen generations, their number slowly dwindling down to one.
During the Reaper invasion of Thessia four of the seven old family homes had been completely leveled, the other three had been left mostly standing. It had only taken a year to have the house completely rebuilt and remodeled after the war had ended, and Liara had jumped at the chance to upgrade as much of the estate as possible.
When Liara was a child there was never silence in the large home. Because of her mother's position in the government, there had always been bodyguards, acolytes, and other politicians filling the rooms and hallways. Liara had been kept from many of the busier areas by her own guards, and had been required to "entertain" other children in her playroom many a time. She had hated the noise and the bustle. So many strangers taking up her mother's time.
Now that there was silence she found she almost missed the constant presence of people. It was a stark reminder of how much things could change in a very short time.
After her mother's passing, Liara had closed the estate and released all the servants except for the head grounds keeper. With no one living there it was a waste to keep them around. And now, with just Shepard and herself in the house, there was still no need to keep a full staff.
In total they only used five of the rooms in the whole estate, and the basement, where she continued her work as the Shadow Broker, was on the exact opposite side of the property from the rooms she shared with Shepard.
Liara first stopped by Shepard's office, but she wasn't all that surprised to see her bondmate wasn't there.
It had been five years since the end of the war, three since she and Shepard had been privately joined as bondmates, and only two since Shepard had officially (temporarily) retired from the Alliance and taken leave from the Spectres. Without a true job to occupy her time, Shepard would occasionally go visit the commando training grounds, and she was still called upon with some frequency to dedicate a new monument, or speak at a graduation, or give an interview of some sort. She had just returned two days ago from a visit to Earth that Liara hadn't been able to join her on, to speak to the three new N7s that had graduated. The time difference between Earth and Thessia had taken a lot out of her.
Liara next stepped into the bedroom silently, hovering in the doorway for a moment to check that Shepard was actually still in bed. When she saw that Shepard's messy hair was visible in the pile of white sheets and blankets, she approached.
"Shepard?"
Shepard was sprawled out on her belly, sheets and the fluffy comforter tangled around her limbs. She had her face pressed into her pillow and Liara's pillow trapped against her side like she'd been cuddling it. Her brow wrinkled and Liara knew that she was in the hazy place between awake and asleep.
"Shepard?" she cooed again.
"Hmm?"
"May I kiss you goodbye?" Deciding to leave Shepard to her sleep just a little longer, she could do the shopping on her own. She started to reach out to run her fingers over Shepard's cheek but stopped herself in time, not wanting to startle Shepard while she wasn't fully awake. It could sometimes take years for an asari to really, truly, learn something, possibly due to their long lifespans. It took constant reinforcement to change some behaviors. Liara's natural inclination was to touch Shepard in order to wake her, but after being struck several times doing just that, she had finally learned not to. Liara wasn't the only one to be hurt either, though the wounds it caused Shepard weren't visible.
"Mmmhmm," Shepard murmured, tucking her face into the pillow away from the gentle morning light that was streaming in through the half-open blinds.
Liara couldn't stop the tender smile that tugged at her lips. It wasn't often that the great and powerful Captain Shepard could be called cute, but a barely awake Shepard was just that. Liara bent and carefully ghosted her lips over Shepard's forehead and then the still accessible part of her cheek.
Shepard whined as the contact woke her up more and Liara's smile grew. "Mmm, whereyagoin?"
"Try saying that in Galactic this time, love."
Shepard's brow wrinkled as she tried to stay asleep. "Mmmnmm."
Liara breathed a laugh. "I am just going to the store. We are out of several things we will need for tonight."
Shepard hummed her understanding. "Get me candy."
Now that Shepard was awake enough to know that Liara was there, she didn't feel hesitant to touch her. She ran her fingers through the tangled mass of Shepard's hair, gently tugging a few snarls free. "I will. Peanut butter cups."
"Yes," Shepard hissed happily, curling further into her pillow.
Laying one last gentle kiss above Shepard's eyebrow, Liara whispered her goodbye. "I will be back soon, Love."
When Liara returned the house was still and silent and she knew that Shepard had fallen right back to sleep after she left, otherwise she would be in the main living area where the largest vid screen was. She left her shoes in the entryway and padded barefoot into the kitchen with the groceries. The first thing she did was hide Shepard's candy at the back of the highest cupboard she could reach, which actually involved the use of her biotics. Shepard would eat the whole bag of candy in less than an hour if Liara didn't hide it from her. Once the candy was safely hidden she finished putting away the rest of the groceries and then went in search of Shepard.
When Shepard was on active duty, laying about until noon would have not only been impossible, it would have been out of character. But since Shepard had semi-retired it was not unusual for her to sleep her day away if permitted. She claimed that she was "catching up" and Liara mostly left her to it, since she was attached to her data feeds most of the day anyway. She didn't begrudge Shepard her rest. She had done plenty to earn it.
Still, they were expecting guests in less than six hours, and Liara was not going to prepare everything herself. That would be an actual disaster, as Liara was not a very good cook. She could usually handle one dish at a time easily, if she had clear instructions, but any more than that and she was a lost cause. Growing up with chefs paid to cook every meal and then going right off to college where cheap, unhealthy, easy to prepare food was the norm, Liara hadn't really had much of a drive to learn to cook well on her own. Shepard, though, could simultaneously prepare seven different things and have them all come out at exactly the same time, perfectly seasoned and ready for the table. Liara honestly wouldn't be surprised if Shepard could also fight off a wave of husks at the same time.
She sighed at the sight she found in their room. Shepard had barely even moved; she had just rolled onto her back, one arm still around Liara's pillow. She didn't see how Shepard could sleep with the light shining right over her face. "Shepard, it's past midday. You really need to get up." When she received no response, she approached the side of the bed. "Shepard, I'm serious."
Liara squeaked in surprise when Shepard's hand closed around her wrist and tugged her firmly onto the bed. Her knees hit the mattress with a bounce and she managed to catch herself with her free hand before she landed on Shepard. She was pulled down further until she was resting along Shepard's body and looking down into her bondmate's amused eyes.
"Hi," Shepard said with a cheeky grin.
"Hi."
"Where's my candy?" Shepard asked even as she kissed Liara's cheek and then her jaw. Her fingers started to creep toward Liara's belly teasingly.
Liara giggled at the ticklish feeling and happily leaned into Shepard's affection. "In the kitchen, where you will need to be if you want it."
Shepard hummed against her throat and Liara gasped and jerked against the strong arms holding her in place. "Later."
"You are very demonstrative today," Liara commented. She found herself holding on to Shepard's arms as her neck was assaulted with gentle wet kisses. With all the attention to her neck, Liara assumed that Shepard was purposefully attempting to arouse her. Mission accomplished.
"I was a little busy before you came back."
Liara's brain froze momentarily as she processed what Shepard meant. She was suddenly feeling much warmer and her skin felt overly sensitive, especially behind her neck. "Were you using your fingers or a toy?" She felt Shepard's lips curl up into a smile.
"Toy."
"Vibrator?"
"Mmmhmm."
Liara's mouth went dry and she swallowed harshly. She could picture the way Shepard looked with a toy working between her legs, head thrown back, breasts thrust out with her nipples making tight little points at their peaks. She'd seen it before, heard the almost silent whimper Shepard would release when she finally came. "Did you come?"
This time Shepard's teeth joined in her grin. Liara jumped at the bite and whimpered when the sting didn't fade quickly. She didn't really understand why Shepard bit, she had researched and found out that it was fairly common for humans to do in sexual situations, but she had come to enjoy it over time. "Twice."
"Oh fuck." She knew Shepard masturbated fairly frequently, but it was rarely something she talked about.
Shepard chuckled as she pushed Liara up and off of her. Liara whined at the loss of contact and tried to return to her position but Shepard held her off with one hand. "I want on top."
No longer upset, Liara allowed herself to be maneuvered onto her back with a smirk. "And just what are you planning to do on top of me?"
"Well," Shepard leaned down on her forearms and tossed her hair over one shoulder, "I was going to ask you to meld with me, but you seem pretty eager to know about how I got off earlier. Would you like to watch me do it again?"
Liara's heart clenched almost painfully in anticipation. The sheets and pillow felt rough against the sensitized skin of her neck folds. "Yes." She wouldn't miss an offer like that for anything. The Reapers could come back and take all of Thessia and she wouldn't care.
"Yes?"
"Yes, please."
Shepard sat up astride Liara's thighs and then lifted up so that all of her weight was on her own legs. The only point of contact was the outside of Liara's thighs to the inside of Shepard's knees. Liara reached out to grip Shepard's hips automatically, but even as she made contact she knew Shepard would reprimand her.
"Hands," she said teasingly. Liara lifted them back off again, biting her lip against whining. "Since I'm going to be touching myself, you could always do the same, you know," Shepard suggested.
Liara lifted one hand to the side of her neck, almost self-consciously. Her fingers bushed the side of her first fold and she shivered in delight.
Shepard slid her hand down into her boxers with a sly wink, and then she closed both eyes and got to work. She wasn't a fan of teasing; Liara had learned that through observation and through actual conversation.
"I don't really see the point in teasing myself. That's one thing that's really nice about not letting other people touch me. I can set my own pace, and that pace is usually hard and fast."
Liara knew better than to touch her now. Just like she knew better than to speak. She was only allowed to watch, and even that privilege had taken her a long time to earn. She continued to stroke her folds, but only to tease herself. Unlike Shepard, she could see the upside to prolonging the torturous wait until her climax.
With every jerk of Shepard's hips Liara became more entranced. The way Shepard's mouth hung open just a bit, just enough that she could hear the rough exhales every time she hit an especially sensitive place, made Liara ache with want and a love so deep that it sometimes scared her.
Shepard was mostly silent as she pleasured herself, only making the smallest of groans or whimpers. Her body language spoke more about how she was feeling. Liara could see the motion of her hand through her boxers, could see her speed up or slow down the strokes to her clit, could see her slip back further until her fingers were pushing in and out of her tight entrance. Liara had to bite her lip to keep from moaning at every change. She didn't even realize that she was touching her neck folds more forcefully, slipping her fingers into the empty spaces to reach more sensitive nerves, until Shepard suddenly froze, her hips jerking forward and the skin of her neck and face flushing as she came.
Liara watched in breathless wonder until Shepard's eyes finally opened, hooded and dark.
"Shepard," she panted, fully writhing now and very aware of how needy she sounded, "Please…I need the meld." Liara was aching to reach out for Shepard's mind. She felt like her skin was stretched just a little too tight over her forehead and the top of her scalp. It was the best sort feeling, a headache that felt good.
"Do it," Shepard conceded even as her fingers joined Liara's in stroking in the spaces between her folds.
The physical contact allowed Liara to start the meld. She was so aroused that she didn't bother to ease into it slowly, having teased herself to the edge too well.
Their nervous systems clashed so powerfully that Liara actually screamed out loud from the pleasure. What felt like every muscle in her body contracted and she curled in on herself only to bow out again, trapped in a limited range of motion because of Shepard's weight on top of her. Her nerves were dancing with ecstasy, she felt like she might actually fly out of her skin. The best part, though, was the knowledge that Shepard was feeling something very similar.
Asari could not experience a physical orgasm the way humans and other sexual species could. Their bodies were not built to reach completion that way. They could certainly feel physical pleasure. The touch of a lover could bring comfort and joy and affection, but it couldn't bring pleasure strong enough to cause a climax. Only a meld could truly bring an asari to completion, a mental orgasm. Liara knew that a meld caused a physical climax in Shepard, making that her fourth in less than two hours, but it was also causing a cascade of sensations that Shepard wouldn't be able to fully process, purely because she was human.
The feeling of a mating meld was nearly impossible to form into words. It was an idea, a series of bright flashing lights, feelings that came upon them so violently that they could only ride them out, they couldn't be categorized in any way more concrete than mind numbingly wonderful. It lasted for hours, days, decades, millennia and milliseconds, nanoseconds, a moment too small to comprehend with their delicate mortal brains. There were no thoughts, only feelings.
All Liara really could say for certain was that one minute she was wracked with pleasure and the next it had gentled enough for her to realize that her throat was sore from screaming and Shepard was dead weight on top of her.
Because she was young, and relatively inexperienced, Liara had to take hormone blockers to keep herself from accidently making a baby every time she started a mating meld. One side effect of the birth control was that she had very little control over how long the meld remained a mating meld. She had heard stories, many of them from Aethyta, of matriarchs that could hold a deep mating meld for hours at a time (she tried very hard to pretend that Aethyta hadn't been talking about Benezia in some of those stories). Liara wouldn't have had the stamina or skill required to perform that sort of meld even if she hadn't been on the hormone blockers.
Instead of cutting out right away however, the meld was still active, though it was no longer an attempt at mating. It had changed to a gentle, peaceful blank place where only emotion and brief impressions of thoughts and ideas existed. Her head no longer felt heavy and full, but instead she was floating serenely in the silence. She could feel through the meld Shepard as awake but that she was too weak to move. It suited Liara just fine, she enjoyed the feeling of her bondmate on top of her. The meld came to a gentle end as her mind slowly withdrew from Shepard's and they once again settled into be two individuals instead of one whole.
Shepard hummed after a few minutes of silence, and lifted her head off of Liara's shoulder. "That was intense. You were really ready for it, huh?"
Liara ran her hands up and down Shepard's back, hesitating to slip under the baggy N7 shirt she was wearing. She teased her fingers along the edge, and feeling no protest, slid under to touch soft, warm skin. "It has been awhile," she conceded. "But if you think an amazing meld is going to get you out of helping me cook, you have another thing coming."
"Damn," Shepard mocked. "You foiled my plans." She grinned smugly. "But now we're both all sexed up, we probably need to shower before we handle food."
"Sneak."
Shepard snickered and rolled off of her. "I call first dibs."
Liara rolled her eyes and called after her, "There are at least twelve showers in this house."
Shepard just stuck her tongue out childishly and stepped into the bathroom, locking the sliding door behind her.
A/N: Please give me your thoughts, questions, and concerns. I'd really like to hear some feedback on this.
Also, a big thanks to both DoomKitteh and Rae D. Magdon for their help in getting this thing rolling.
IMPORTANT: The Shepard in this fic is custom, however I am fully prepared to never describe her physical appearance in detail or use her name if you would all prefer. I would like to be able to, but if will ruin your enjoyment of the fic, then I won't. Please drop a note and tell me what you'd like to see.
Thanks for reading!