Luxord stumbled home, his mind stark and barren, an utter blank slate. He stumbled, somehow, into his bedroom and fell onto his mattress, closing his eyes. What had that doctor said again?

We're sorry. We did everything we could.

Oh yeah, that's it. How could they be sorry? He guessed it happened every day; the grief of a person like him must be part of the job territory. An opportunity cost.

"You don't believe them?"

Luxord opened his eyes, peering across the room at Xaldin, standing against the doorframe casually.

"Go away," he said, letting his head drop back to the bed. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Why not?" Xaldin asked, more curious than offended, coming to sit next to Luxord at a safe distance.

"Because you're not here," Luxord said, his eyes closed. "They did what they could, but you're not here."

"You don't think they did everything they could," Xaldin said, his tone matter-of-fact. It snapped something in Luxord.

"No, no I don't!" Luxord yelled, standing up from the bed suddenly to stare Xaldin down. "It's their job to save lives! They said they did what they could, but if they really had, you would still be here!"

"…sorry," Xaldin said, his eyes neutral.

"Don't apologize," Luxord spat. "You don't get to apologize. Dead people… they don't get to fucking apologize! It's their fault and you can't be sorry for that!"

"I'm sorry, Luxord," Xaldin said again. Luxord exhaled sharply, throwing his arms down as if to force out the words, but all that came was air. "I didn't mean to."

"Didn't mean to what?" Luxord snapped again. "Leave me? All by myself? Well you did. It doesn't matter whether you meant to or not, cause the deed has been done. I'm all-fucking-alone."

"I'm here now, aren't I?" Xaldin shrugged.

"No, you're not! I'm going fucking crazy or something, because you died! And the dead don't talk!"

Xaldin nodded contemplatively, standing up from the bed. "Okay," he said, walking to the door and opening it. "I'll leave then I guess."

Luxord stood by as Xaldin slipped out the door and began to shut it behind him, feeling something in him twist and tug painfully in two different directions. "Wait, Xaldin, wait—!"

"Mmmm… Lux?"

Luxord's eyes searched the dark for any signs of recognition, but all he could see was black, as if his eyes were still closed.

"What is it?" Xaldin rumbled from beside him, his voice scratchy and half-asleep.

"Nothing… nothing," Luxord chanted, clinging to the sensations of Xaldin's leg brushing against his, of their breath mingling.

Xaldin didn't need to be prompted—he waited for Luxord to roll over silently, and he wrapped his arm around the top of he blond's head, holding him there gently. He didn't need to know what woke Luxord up yelling at night to be able to bring him back.

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Loosely based off of this week's episode of Grey's Anatomy. I'm not a fan of the show as a whole, but the characters are extremely strong.

Hope you enjoyed, lovelies! Let me know what you think!

momo

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