Wanna See Some Pictures?
Summary: All Severus Snape wants to do is to achieve his well-earned rest in the afterlife. Too bad a guy called Maes Hughes shows up and asks him if he'd like to see some pictures of his friends and family. Doesn't seem like any harm, right? Two-shot.
All Severus Snape wanted to do was to achieve his well-earned rest in the afterlife.
Well, yes, he had been bitten by the Dark Lord's snake, and yes, he had looked at Potter's eyes, just before he had died and left the Wizarding world, reminding himself once again of his childhood crush, Lily Evans.
Yes... maybe that was what he wanted to do first. Look for Lily, make sure to avoid James Potter (that arrogant toerag, as Lily had once called him), and hopefully, none of the other wizards that had perished in the Battle of Hogwarts as members of the Order, or on Potter's side. That would make for some terrible communication, hopefully.
He looked around. The afterlife was like a city in the sky, was crowded with people. So. Many. People. He had managed to avoid Sirius Black (thank goodness), but it wasn't just people in cloaks and robes and Wizarding attire - there were people with bows and arrows, strange helmets and tunics, even people who looked like modern Muggles! It didn't annoy Snape much, though. He moved on, looking around. Then he saw a figure in blue Muggle army clothing. Maybe he's a guard of the afterlife, Snape thought.
But as he moved closer, he reached out for his wand (did his wand even freaking work in the afterlife?) for this man looked and resembled a lot like James Potter. But as Snape saw his face, it wasn't him. The army man's glasses were rectangular, not round like Potter's, and his hair was spiky. And since when did James Potter have a short, scruffy beard?
"Hey!" the man exclaimed. "What ya gonna do, say some silly word and some light comes out?"
Snape lowered his wand a little. Muggles... they don't know that it could happen. But Snape, unlike the other Death Eaters would, felt no need or desire to push this Muggle away with magic - Cruciatus, perhaps, an incantation of 'Sectumsempra' for a little fun, borrowed from Snape himself. He always felt a little pity for Muggles - in the absence of other wizards - so he stowed his wand away.
"You seem like you knew me. In fact, you didn't right?" laughed the man.
Snape shook his head. "Yes, I'm sorry, I'm going to leave now."
But as he turned...
"Whoa, slow down there! We just met each other! Let's be friends! I'm Maes Hughes, good to meet you!" The man held out his hand.
Snape didn't want to shake the man's hand, or talk to him, or be his friend, really, but out of politeness, said quietly, "Severus Snape," and took his hand for shaking.
But as soon as their hands clasped for shaking, the man Hughes shook it as fast as hell. It was so freaking fast, Snape's arm wasn't nothing but a blob of black and skin.
When they broke apart, Snape couldn't feel his hand anymore.
"All right," Snape said. "I'll be going now."
He turned to leave once again, then:
"Hey!" came Hughes' voice. "We just met! We just became friends! I always do this with friends, to commemorate our friendship! Look-y here!" Hughes reached into the pocket of his army coat.
Snape said, "Oh, no, thanks-"
"No, I insist! Man, oh, man, you're gonna love this..."
At this rate, we'll be having a friendship dance soon, Snape thought. I could've been reunited with Lily now, from Merlin's sake!
"And... here! Ta-da! Look!" Hughes got out a pile of something that looked a lot like photos. "So... wanna see some pictures?"
Snape mentally face-palmed in his head. But... it was just one or two pictures, what could go wrong?