-No flames, only review and NICELY give constructive criticism.

-thanks.

-L. Apricot

The Patakis Part One

The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. Let the record show that Helga G. Pataki being of sound mind to the ample breast size and the occasional corny knock knock joke, I couldn't care less what anyone thought of me. Although I did when I was a kid in grade school and because I'm being judged by a jury of my peers, I will attempt to insert `like' and `totally' into my life as much as possible. So here it goes... I confess I'm, in no small part, to blame for the vociferous gossip, but - for anyone hoping that the sizzling details of my sordid past will provide you with a reason to lock the door and make love to a dollop of your sister's moisturizing lotion - you'll be gravely disappointed.
Look, I just need to set the record straight and what better way to do that, than to write about it? Let's begin by saying that there are two sides to every is my side, the right one.

Now I have done a lot of things in my day. And one of them is lie. And boy did I lie… A lot.

And it wasn't your occasional, "Oh I forgot to set my alarm." Oh no, I did way worse than that.

(Beat Starts) - Joan Jett - Bad Reputation

My family is not the best, I have an alcoholic mom, a blowhard dad and a perfect sister. And that's not the worst problem.

I am absolutely the only one with a brain… therefore, the only one in the family that doesn't belong. The black sheep. I am sure that many of you thought that I am some punk rock chick that loves to go to mosh pits and get high. But to be honest…. I am what they call a loser.

I know, I know… I used to be relatively well known as the bully of ps.118 but I am no longer in grade school. I am in high school.

Helga groaned loudly as the wail of her alarm clock pounded in her ears. Being below 30, she stuck her hand out and pounded loudly against her table, searching for her clock only to end up pushing the clock down and dropping it to the ground. She shot up and grabbed the plug and pulled it out, and growled internally, "Way to start the morning helga." Helga then shoved her hand under her pillow and pulled out her cellphone.

Ever since Helga pushed her dad to make a investment in this company called B-Mobile. He made more than 3 million dollars in the 4th week. Yes he is under someone and he gave up his entire beeper business. But, they're rich… filthy rich.

Helga grabbed her black jeans and pink tank over her long sleeve and truckers hat and slipped on her combat boots and tossed her backpack on her shoulder. "What the hell in store today.." And with that she slammed the door behind her.

Phoebe was waiting outside with her camry, dressed with a smile and her preppy look, ready to become a secretary. "How did you sleep Helga?"

"Just fine Phoebe, I love waking up and have to waste 8 hours of my life learning about something simple for an entire week that was easy enough to be shown in a single day." She held her hands by her cheek and smiled a fake smile and giggled sarcastically.

Phoebe rolled her eyes and smiled, "No need to be hostile helga, I got you a coffee and croissant." Helga grabbed the coffee and smiled, "Oh, how I love you my darling friend." Helga playfully pushed Phoebe's arm, "Alright, time for the second week of high school."

Driving into the parking area, Phoebe found parking quickly and Helga got out of the car and sighed, the typical teenage high school.

Crossing the street to get into the school, blaring rock music was pounding out of a old jeep window. Helga walked by all the different groups of kids and she sees cheerleaders jumping around, and guys standing around drooling over those little perfect princesses. And curly, the freak sitting behind a post taking pictures of the cheer squad and their captain, Miss. Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. Helga started jogging up the steps and turned back to see her best friend meeting up with her football hunk, Gerald Johansen… man, she looked so happy. Helga sighed and looked down and started to head towards the door and slammed into the chest of a blonde boy… Helga growled and got her bag and turned around and retorted, "Why don't you look where you're going you stup-id…" Helga stopped and looked at the boy with blonde cowlick strands of hair and sighed, "f-football head…. What a pleasant surprise." Arnold got up and fixed his shirt and smiled, "Hey Helga, Sorry I wasn't looking." Helga grabbed his hand and smirked, "Why, too busy gawking over other girls again, Arnoldo? Or you tired of walking right too." Helga stomped past him before he could say anything back and sighed and turned and walked away.

Helga slammed into the end of the hallway and cornered herself and caught her head with her hand and breathed out hysterically. "Oh GOD!"

I thought Arnold wasn't going to come to high school…. He told everyone he was going to go to San Lorenzo with his parents for the next couple of years and he was gone all summer but now… NOW here he is?! Helga faced the wall and grunted and punched the wall and sighed, "He just… he just wanted us to stop talking because Lila finally wanted to be with him, or maybe he just wanted to be with someone else." Helga mumbled. Helga slid down and the bell rang, "Stupid football head…"'

Okay this is a short first chapter to test the waters. If you like it leave a review, I will start working on the first chapter today and see if i want to post it soon. Thanks for reading.

-L. Apricot.