A/N: This is basically just me channeling a lot of personal work related frustrations into a galaxy far, far away in attempts to make myself feel a little better about a bunch of crap going on irl. And yes, the title is a lyric from Blink-182's "All the Small Things".
Leia was not one to easily crack under pressure. If that was the case, she would died, politically and literally, a long time ago. She had served on the Senate, survived a war and destroyed an empire, yet the stress of putting all the pieces back together after their victory somehow was more overwhelming than any opponent or enemy she faced before.
It had been weeks of bickering. Everyone in the New Republic seemed to have an opinion of how the galaxy should be pieced back together, yet one cohesive plan had yet to be settled on. Each morning Leia walked into her office, she felt as though she was preparing for battle once again. A barrage of messages, meetings and holocalls replaced blaster bolts, her weapon now endless cups of caf and a strong will to see things through to the end, no matter how much it took from her personally.
She had held her chin up, wading through the turbulent waters of being in the business of politics. She knew how to play the game, to ignore the pettiness and childish behaviors that could be displayed by others in meetings. Keeping to herself, she continued to fight and hold fast in what she believed they had fought so hard to achieve and what would ultimately be best for the galaxy in the future as a whole.
Holding oneself together with such decorum was draining and after so long of dealing with it all, she was exhausted. Enough was enough and she felt as though she had been stretched too thin. She wanted to scream, to cry, to just be human rather than the put together princess everyone expected her to be.
Palming the door to the apartment she shared with Han, she ungracefully kicked off her nerf leather flats and dropped her work bag onto the floor next to her discarded shoes. Making her way down the hallway, she immediately turned into the kitchen. Opening the conservator door, she reached for a dark amber bottle of Corellian ale. Not even bothering to rummage through the drawers for a bottle opener, she used a trick she had learned from Han on their way to Bespin. Resting the lip of the bottle against the edge of the counter, she gave it a firm smack with the palm of her hand, popping the cap off with a thunk.
Taking a long drink, the cold liquid rushed down her throat as she rested back against the counter.
Han had heard Leia come home, setting aside the star chart he had been mapping in his office to get up and find her in the kitchen. It was unlike her to head straight for a drink, usually taking the time to place her belongings in their rightful places and changing out her work clothes only to then maybe have a glass of wine with dinner later to relax.
"Tough day?" he asked, leaning back against the counter opposite her as she took another very long, unprincess-like, swig of ale.
Leia nodded and let out a small laugh. "You have no idea".
Han pointed at the bottle in her hand. "Lemme grab one of those and we can talk about it".
Leia settled onto the couch, pulling her feet up onto the cushions before resting herself against Han's side. His arm draped over the back of the sofa, his bare feet propped up onto the low table in front of him.
"What's goin' on?" Han asked.
Leia couldn't stop herself once she started. She felt as though she was almost rambling, one thought running into the next as she continued on about her frustrations, only pausing to steal a quick sips of her ale between sentences. Han nodded at times, mostly to questions that were purely rhetorical, just to assure her that he was still here for her, still listening and that her words were not falling on deaf or bored ears. He allowed her speak without interjecting, letting her air all of her grievances.
Leia became animated as she finished, sitting up as she threw her hands up at her sides. "And then Grottil decided to go around speaking to everyone else about the issue rather than coming to me directly! It's like I'm trying to rebuild the galaxy with a bunch of teenagers rather than a rational group of adults".
Letting out an exasperated sigh, Leia finished what liquid was left in her bottle of ale. "I don't know what to do anymore".
"You want me to go warm up the Falcon and we get outta here? No dealin' with all that rebuilding a government bullshit out on the outer rim".
"I think I like that idea" Leia said, cracking a weak smile. She still felt exhausted by it all, but there was a calming relief to just pour out all of her frustrations with no judgement to any of her words.
"I'm just kiddin'" Han said in all seriousness. Sure, he joked about it, mostly to try to get Leia to feel a little better at times when she seemed overwhelmed with things.
"Sometimes I think about that. If we just…" Leia paused for a moment, her finger picking at the corner of the label on the bottle resting against her knee. "If we just went to some planet where even if we were recognized, people wouldn't care who we were". A look of sadness crossed her face as she continued on. "All the times I've heard someone mutter well that's just the princess who decided to be a smuggler's whore instead behind my back. What if I was just that? Why am I working with these people to better the galaxy if that is all they think of me?"
Han sat in silence. He had heard all the names Leia had been called over the years. There had been so many he had lost count, each one silently infuriating him more because he'd been the only one who heard her sobs from the tears she shed while hidden away on the Falcon because of them. A smuggler's whore was hardly an original one, and sadly, there were far worse uttered by others before. Shifting his weight against the cushions, his arm moved from the back of the couch to around Leia, pulling her closer to him.
"The galaxy needs you, sweetheart. Givin' up ain't really your style".
"I know" Leia replied, rolling the bit of paper that had loosened from the bottle between her fingers as she relaxed back into Han's embrace. "It's just so frustrating sometimes to always have this weight on me"
Han placed a light kiss onto her braided hair pinned on top of her head. It was a silent gesture of reassurance. That no matter what, he'd always be there for her, on good days and on bad ones. She was the strongest person he'd ever met, despite everything she had been through in her life.
"You're doin' exactly what needs to be done" Han reminded her. "Kriff everyone else".