Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Or Tekkon Kinkreet.
Author's Note: The outside characters presented here are taken from the movie and manga, Tekkon Kinkreet. The concept of the Neko Group, Kuro and Shiro, is owed to that really great film. Except there, they are boys. And they don't have tattoos. And they're not shinobi.
Fangirls For Naruto
Females.
From what Naruto could remember, Sasuke never had trouble with them, never really paying attention even when they were all over him. Even Jiraiya, who shamelessly chased after them and generally made a fool of himself peeking into women's bath houses did not seem to worry about them too much. But as for Naruto…
Sakura was always more apt to punch him, Hinata always seemed to faint around him, and now this…
He backed up against the tree as the woman came towards him, stalking him across the clearing. The quiet hiss of kunais being drawn told him that the two teams on this mission did not like the look of this, as well. The woman had two long swords on her back and as she took of her mask, the expression on her face could only be politely described as…hostile.
Kuro. Naruto breathed out, a little relieved. But only a little. Kuro's dark eyes, solely trained on him, were fierce and not much comfort. Nevertheless, he calls out. "It's all right. She's an old friend from my travels with Ero-Sannin. She won't harm me…" and the sentence trails off into a sort of question because even as Kuro is unstrapping her weapons, the sound of the swords and the kunai belt plunking to the ground sounds dangerous. Worse, dropping her armguards revealed the eye-watering tattoos that snaked around her arms. They looked more dangerous than all her weapons put together.
Kiba sniffs the air. "There's two more coming."
But Kuro pays no attention to the rest on the clearing, from Kakashi with his narrowed eyes, to Sakura with her hands fisted. "Idiot," Kuro bites out. "Idiot. Idiot. Idiot." If at all possible, her every word becomes harder as she comes up to Naruto, and the rest are slowly, unconsciously readying themselves for a fight.
Which was why all of them, including Naruto, was caught unprepared for what happened next.
Kuro roughly grabbed the front of Naruto's cloak and pulled him forward to kiss him full on the mouth.
Hinata's gasp was the only sound that rose out of the clearing.
A pretty girl-child with tattoos of her own comes crashing through the undergrowth. "Kuro-chaaaan! Don't!"
And everyone starts moving as the woman named Kuro and the Naruto start to glow, with the tattoos on Kuro's arms becoming even more eye-watering, seemingly moving in a sinuous fashion.
"Wait!" A humongous black cat lands on the clearing. "She's not harming him." And seeing the woman named Kuro kissing Naruto, the cat starts to swear.
The dogs that Kakashi has called out and Akamaru have started to growl deep in their throats, but the talking cat takes no notice of them, watching Kuro stand on the tips of her toes to deepen the kiss and fist her hands at Naruto's hair. The tattoos on her arms crazily move from her arms and fingertips to Naruto's skin.
The tension starts to ease up as the glowing finishes and Naruto stands, apparently unharmed, but looking stunned. Kuro steps back, pushing back black hair that caps her head, short as a boy's, eyes still unfriendly; she swiftly turns around. Naruto lifts up his hands where the tattoos are still crazily moving across, disappearing deep into his sleeves, into his arms.
"Idiot." Kuro says again. She starts picking up her arm guards and her weapons. "Going after your equally stupid friend with the Akatsuki on your back! IDIOT."
"And you've just matched his idiocy by transferring a good amount of your chakra to him," the cat says acidly. Kakashi and Yamato look at each other at the cat's words and Sakura nods as if confirming something. The only one who looks least surprised is Shino, and even covered as he was, he still generated an uneasy stance.
Naruto looks at his hand, still unbelieving. "Why--?" And he stops as tears fall at Kuro's feet. The clearing becomes still as Kuro puts on her mask. A shinobi never shows her tears.
The girl-child shakes her head. "Naruto-niichan is being an idiot. It's because she lov---"
"Shut up, Shiro!" Kuro says roughly.
Shiro, the girl-child, makes a face at Kuro, but the tattooed woman ignores her, "If you become severely wounded while bringing back Sasuke Uchiha," Kuro says to Naruto, her back still turned to him, "the tattoos will activate and save you. It will also partially stop the red chakra from leaking. But only partially. So don't be stupid!"
"This will not be condoned in our village, Kuro-san," the cat warns.
"Oh, shut up, Cat," Shiro says. She takes out a kunai, "Naruto-niichan saved Kuro before from the dark when I was gone. It's only right as rain that we protect him. After all, Naruto-niichan is going to change the world." and she slashes her palm, then squeezes it out to let the blood fall to the ground. "Neko Shiro, Neko Kuro give our word that we will protect Uzumaki Naruto from the shadow and the dark. We will let no blade fall upon him, and no flame burn him. We shall be his shield and his guard. So that he will live to become Hokage. This, we hold, under the sun and before these people." And the pretty girl-child grins as she skips to Naruto and offers the bloodied hand to Naruto, "You have to press it to your forehead, nii-chan," she supplies.
Naruto moves slowly, as if underwater, and did as Shiro said. Once he was done, he was knocked down by Shiro giving a sound kiss of her own. Another glow starts and envelopes them.
The cat only groans. And the entire audience slips further into incredulity.
"Oi, Shino, how old do you think that kid is?" Kiba whispers loudly. Kakashi gives him a disapproving glance.
Once the glow has subsided, Naruto has cat-like figures settled into his palms.
Shiro stands and cheerily tells a groggy Naruto, "If you ever need us, you can release those seals and it will summon Kuro-chan and I to your side."
"Why?" Naruto manages.
Shiro cocks her head to the side, "You have to live, nii-chan, else how can Kuro and I fight over you. I'm thirteen now. I have to wait to get to marry you. In the meantime, I'm not about to let Kuro-chan trap you in the bath house now that you're all grown up…"
Kuro hisses, as the cat rolls his eyes. Shiro, devil girl-child that she's revealed herself to be, only laughs delightedly. "Wait for us in Konoha!"
There is complete silence as the three disappear back into the foliage of the tall trees surrounding the clearing. It is the silence of minds trying to process an event that has the aura of unreality about it, like a dream taking place while they are all awake.
"I knew it!" Sakura mutters finally, "Naruto's going to be just like Jiraiya-sama."
End