Embers fade as the Moon Rises
(Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me, sadly. Neither does any of its characters, very sadly. They belong to the Disney Corporation and Square Enix jointly, as they should be because it was these wonderful peoples who gave us the Kingdom Hearts game series. Please visit Disney Land!
This is the third segment of my Axel-based fanfictions and the second continuation from my piece 'Hurt' (please check out 'Hurt' and 'When Darkness Falls on Light' in my profile 'Lycan-Song' if you haven't already, thankies!).
Whereas 'Hurt' was an Akuroku piece, it was always planned that the remaining two would be Saixel (not as in a yaoi pairing, but one of lost friendship). Please review as this will help me write more and maybe encourage others to view this piece. Much appreciated, and please enjoy!)
Depending on the time of day, the direction you were looking and from where, the rough brick walls and smooth pillars of the clock tower in Twilight Town took on a different grace with each new angle. At midday, the tower sounded out its gift in twelve loud chimes, adding the final strain to the melody of the bustling town below. On a thunderous evening, the tower turned dim, a tall spire occasionally thrown into light by the crack of thunder. At night, the tower was a black silhouette, its sides lit at intervals with golden stars sweeping up its frame to a crown of brilliance, gentle light resonating from behind windows beneath a pale ocean moon.
There were many ways to see the tower. It was the town's most distinguishing feature and their most treasured pride. Only from one angle could this tower not be described as beautiful, this angle could only be viewed by someone falling from its peak. Currently, Axel was looking at the tower from this angle.
The member of Organisation XIII had spent so long of his existence as a Nobody in darkness. He hadn't overly cared about this, he hadn't been able to. He had lived in darkness, but had dreamed memories of light. He had been caught in an unchanging state of loss, torturous mind lamenting what the broken heart couldn't feel. Roxas had been the first light to pass through the nothingness. Axel had loved Roxas, he had loved his light. Now as he descended further from the shattered balcony he had been thrown from, he thought of the boy, his only love, his greatest light.
His world had experienced Roxas, and it held onto the memory tighter than any it had before, vowing that his would never be added to the multitude of lost memories stolen by the darkness to enter the Void as forgotten.
Now, Axel was caught in the darkness between two cruel lights, neither of them were like his Roxas, neither gave Axel warmth, neither gave him hope or comfort. The light below was the collection of the town's many lights, a multicoloured spectrum of neon, streetlights and house lamps. The light above was worse than the crushing of Axel's bones the other would soon cause. It was the glow of moonlight reflecting off the tips of Lunatic, the six foot claymore belonging to Xemnas' lapdog and Axel's former friend, Saix.
Axel had shattered Saix's illusion, the thing the other Nobody had been clinging to all this time. Now Saix had gone out of the Number VII's own control, Axel had pushed him over the edge into furious madness and was no longer prepared to protect Axel, but rather prepared to destroy him.
It was a humourless irony that Axel should now prefer the darkness, the lights around him holding only his destruction, but that's the way it had always been and always would be. The nature of light was that it was fire, it blinded and it burned. Darkness didn't hurt, its coldness made you numb and it was quiet, peaceful and still. This was how humanity knew love was light. Love could hurt, and it was easy to be blinded by it, but like all other lights, it was the only way to see the glories of the world that would otherwise be hidden beneath a dim veil. Nothing could be seen or appreciated in the dark, life was not darkness. Life and light brought warmth, they brought feeling, they brought a beating heart. Roxas had allowed Axel to see a different world, a better one, the one the darkness had taken from Axel and hidden.
At the moment, the peace of night held sway in VIII's mind, and Axel almost felt glad that it was all about to end. It would end where it had begun; in the darkness. How fitting.
The world was spinning in slow motion as Axel dropped further, his mind soothed Axel's frayed and tatted soul as his brain raced, desperate to find some way to survive. Roxas was gone, his heart wasn't back, but he would still die happy with the illusion Roxas had given him as a parting gift.
Axel smiled.
Roxas.
Somewhere out there he was alive. Somewhere in the worlds, his light still shone as he looked for who he was. Soon he would stop existing, so why should Axel continue alone? He had refused to make Roxas end his existence in a way he hadn't chosen; he had refused to carry out the Organisation's order to kill him. He had told Saix that.
Saix.
Why had Saix been the one who had been sent to Axel? It was fully in the bluenette's power to send anyone to check if the Organisation's assassin had accepted the mission to bring retribution on the betrayer. Why had Saix come himself? It hadn't been to talk; Saix hadn't been planning to tell Axel his plan. That revelation had just happened. Also, with Kingdom Hearts becoming increasingly close to reaching completion and with the threat of the KeyBearer drawing closer, the castle had been placed on high alert, especially after Marluxia's failed takeover attempt, and Saix had been spending almost all his time at Xemnas' side, personally protecting him as well as himself from the advancing threats.
Why had Saix come himself? This question repeated itself over and over across the racings of Axel's brain. It was known that when an Organisation member failed to complete a mission or refused to carry one out, it was Saix's job to deal out the punishment for refusal and, if need be, complete the mission himself... Saix would carry out Axel's mission, he would kill Roxas. And that single thought sent such a shattering fear into Axel's illusion that Axel's chakrams were brought from the ether just in time to clang against the metallic spikes of Lunatic.
Axel wasn't going to let Saix kill Roxas, Roxas would end his existence as he wanted to, and nothing would be forced on him on the tip of a claymore. Axel wouldn't allow it; he'd stop Saix or at least slow him down so Roxas could reach the KeyBearer in time.
Axel's body was swung back with the impact of the weapons, revolving in midair so Saix fell below him. But if the blue-haired one had been surprised it didn't show and in seconds he was facing Axel once more, teeth still bared as he loosened his grip on his claymore to give a greater range as he swung towards his former friend again. A dark portal opened below them at Axel's whim and they fell through, weapons still vibrating and issuing clangs as they broke together into the darkness before appearing again into a courtyard of Agraba, fighting viciously, crashing through stalls and stacked jars, Axel fighting to save the one he loved, Saix fighting to rip apart the one who had taken all he had been worked for and thrown it away.
Axel ducked as Lunatic swung low over his head, but the dodge wasn't enough to save him as, before he even had time to raise his chakrams again, Saix's foot made sharp contact with the left side of his face, the Lunar Diviner having kicked out as he spun with the swing. Axel was quickly sent to the ground, collapsing onto his side. He had just recovered his senses in time to roll away when Lunatic came crashing down into the earth where he had been just a second before. Summoning his chakrams to himself again with two bursts of flame, Axel brought them up as Saix lunged and rolled through the air, bringing the claymore down once more heavily to break apart Axel's shield so he was thrown back onto the ground again.
He wouldn't win like this, but he was even now still loathe to use his power over fire against the person who used to be Isa. It's not that he cared about Saix; it was just because he still looked at him and saw his weird friend who had once joked about dying his hair purple.
Saix's foot dug into Axel's side, winding him as Lunatic was brought down again. This time the Flurry of Dancing Flames couldn't roll away fast enough and his existence was only spared because Lunatic's blades passed mercifully into the ground at each side of his throat, digging deep into the earth.
This wasn't working, doing nothing bar blocking Saix's attacks would get him killed, retreat was called for. He had to make Saix chase him; it was the only way he could buy Roxas the time the boy would need to find his missing half, if Saix began hunting now, he would catch Roxas and crush him without hesitation or error. Opening another portal below him, Axel sunk into the darkness, but Saix's hand followed him, the grip tightening around Axel's neck so it could drag him back into the sun of Agraba.
Saix held Axel up before him, face still tightly contorted in rage as the fingers constricted further, cutting off Axel's air supply completely.
Screw not fighting back, Axel thought as the drive for survival and the desire to protect his former charge took over. He kicked out with all his strength, the tip of his boot digging into Saix's stomach and the Number VII crumbled, grip temporarily loosening, just enough for Axel to hit out again and punch him in the face. But Saix was not one to stay down for long, he had taken part in too many fights for weakness and he punched back himself, straight into Axel's stomach, then kneed him in the face as he was forced over, twisting him around and choking him in a death grip.
And so the next stage of this bitter fight ensued as the two former friends grappled with each other. As they progressed, it looked increasingly bleak for Axel. This combat style was Saix's element; this was how he had won the battles and missions to prove himself worthy of rising up the ranks of the Organisation and gained the fear needed to keep himself there. He was relentless; Axel knew this and knew why this was. Saix was the only one in the Organisation who didn't have power over something. He couldn't control lightning or space or wind or fire at his whim, without this he was exposed and weak so he had trained himself unceasingly and had thrown himself into fights so he could become the most powerful warrior, able to wield Lunatic in such a way that he could not only defend himself against the others, but could control them, and through them, their power.
Saix grabbed Axel by an arm and a leg and sent him spinning sideways through the air to crash heavily against one of Agraba's stone walls. It hurt the redhead badly, but it also put enough space between the two to give Axel the chance to summon his chakrams once more and send them flying at Saix so they spun like dual saws against the blade of a quickly re-summoned Lunatic, much like they had once gyrated against the stem of Graceful Dahlia. Axel used the borrowed time this gave him to create another portal and this time he was able to make it fully through, chakrams spinning back to his hands as Saix leapt forward with a yell of rage after him.
And so the battle continued, neither combatant willing to show their growing fatigue, but their strikes each slowed subtly as the violence continued. They fought across the mountain sides of Imperial China, they faced each other in the depths of Atlantis, and they tore through Never Land and Tortuga alike, bringing their struggle for vengeance and love to a dozen different worlds until at last they fell as two individual stars in the skies above Destiny Islands. As the stars fell they curved in the night sky, bending inwards towards one another. At last they collided to form a single falling white ball, within which light the two continued to fight unceasingly, twisting and spinning in open air amidst the blinding light until at last the light was extinguished as the pair fell beneath the waves of the sea.
Here they could at last rest, no longer in the light but back into the darkness where they belonged. Axel imagined his heart beat slowing after it had been thundering during the fight. As the ocean currents beat around him, prodding him back and forth and slowly rotating him, he opened his eyes and looked through the waters, seeing Saix nearby, hanging ghostly in the depths, his hair moving independently around him in the gloom below the waves.
Suddenly, Saix gagged and began flailing. Stolen memories resurfaced in Axel's mind as he remembered Isa had been afraid of water- he'd never learnt to swim. Saix was sinking further as he grabbed around him, finding no support as he tried to grip the water, eyes closed tight as a stream of large bubbles left his mouth. He was looking for Axel, he was looking for his friend to save him, but Axel was floating up and away from him on a different current.
This was Axel's chance to end Saix, to end the sick mockery of Isa. Amidst the darkness, the darkest thoughts of Axel's mind held sway as he watched Saix fall further down into the deep. Axel kicked upwards and away, fighting against the drag on his cloak as he struggled towards the surface.
His head broke the surface, red hair clinging flat and wet to his head, the cold night air brushing against his face and leaving its chill reminder as he swept the hair away from it, gulping in big breaths of air as he did so. Here under the light of the moon, the darkest thoughts were dispelled. Roxas' heart in his chest was swept with guilt and revulsion; it was bringing out the best in Axel. The Flurry shook his head; he would not regret his decision, because his decision would be right. Sucking in a lungful of air, Axel dived under the crests again. Opening his eyes to the stinging salt, he had just enough time to register what he was seeing until Saix rushed past him in a frenzied typhoon of bubbles. He could swim.
And so they each made their way to the shore and, despite the fact Saix had had a head start, it was Axel who reached the sands first, dragging himself out of the shallows, breathing heavily, his waterlogged cloak feeling like lead. Saix was in a worse shape, coughing and spitting out water behind him, choking and collapsing, but always getting back onto his hands and knees as he shakily followed. The swim had exhausted him, it had exhausted them both, but Saix particularly. The Superiors lieutenant could swim now, but he wasn't good at it.
"We don't have hearts, but at times like this it's a shame we still have lungs isn't it?" Axel commented, giving a short gurgling laugh before Saix grabbed his leg and dragged him back towards him. Forcing Axel under him, he began to choke him, but despite all past pretences to the contrary, there were limits to Saix's energy. The Diviner was exhausted from the swim, far more than Axel and so he was able to be outmatched, being flipped away and held down, effectively powerless despite his struggles against the hands which held his wrists down.
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Saix was yelling, desperately fighting with all his remaining strength against Axel's hold, but his efforts were fruitless. Despite this, Axel had to wait seven or eight minutes before Saix finally gave up and collapsed back onto the moist sand, breath ragged, but calmed, lying static even as Axel let go of his wrists and rocked back onto his knees.
"You okay?" Axel asked after a while. Saix didn't answer; he remained exactly as he was, silent with the only think moving being his chest in which his breaths were slowing and his eyes which were infrequently blinking. His head was looking off to the left, the left side of his face against the sand, his cloak and hair slowly drying out.
"You know how to swim," Axel commented for lack of anything better to say.
"You really haven't been my friend for a while, have you?" Saix replied.
Axel groaned and lay down on the sand beside him, putting his hands over his face and then resting his fists on his forehead as he exhaled loudly.
"I'm sorry."
"Of course you're not, Axel."
There was silence again as Axel's illusion gave him a sense of loss he hadn't been expecting. So he would never be Lea again. Why did he regret that? Why did that thought make him sad?
"I drew pictures of you, Isa. All we have is memories. I wrote about you because I didn't want to forget you."
Saix stayed silent. Perhaps calling him "Isa" had been too much, then again perhaps he had just run out of things to say since Axel had ruined his aspiration of returning both their hearts.
"What are you going to do now, Saix?"
"I'm going to do what you won't. I am going to eliminate the traitor."
"If I beg you not to, will you still do it?"
Saix breathed out loudly as if he was trying to expel a bad thought.
"I'm not going to help you anymore, Axel. Now I fight only for the Superior."
He got to his feet, his cloak making a squelching sound as he stood.
"Whatever you do now, you're on your own, I will not be making any effort to stop you suffering the consequences of your actions. I'm going to get my heart back, Axel, even if you don't. I want it; I want to be Someone again, I want to feel things."
He turned away.
"We haven't been friends. I doubt if Axel and Saix ever were. I was fooling myself. You may have said goodbye to me ages ago, Axel, but I never said goodbye to you. Until now. Goodbye Axel. Part of me hopes you will find fulfilment with the heart you found for yourself, part of me regrets you needed it at all, I'm sorry I couldn't get you your real one back in time. I'm sorry I let you down."
And with that Saix walked away into a dark corridor, leaving Axel alone in the dark once more to stare after him, many hours left ahead before the sun would rise on him again, before a sunrise would again light the distant horizon.
But there in the dark he made his decision. Saix would be too late by now, Axel had won, he had succeeded. Roxas was gone and there was no way Saix could catch him in time. But neither could Axel. Saix's time had run out with Axel's, he had sacrificed any chance he had of seeing Roxas one last time so Roxas could find his own fulfilment.
Now there was nothing left but for Axel to find Sora, he would do anything necessary and everything he could think of to find the KeyBearer. As long as there was a glimmer of Roxas left in Sora, he would defend that glimmer at all costs. He would protect it from Saix and the Organisation, he would not let it die with Sora. He would rather give up his own existence than let that light fade form the world.
Axel rose to his feet and, with one last look back at where Saix had disappeared, he said something he never had before.
"Goodbye Saix. Goodbye Isa."