With the warm May weather had arrived, and there was no more cold or snow
from winter and the late spring had been very bleak. But now, with the sun
brightly shining, watching Quidditch games was more bearable than in the
cold winter.
Pansy sat in the crowd, feeling the warmth of the sun on her face as she shielded her eyes from the brightness of the sun, trying to follow the fast commotion of the game. Potter had spotted the snitch first, but Draco was giving him a run for his money now trying to catch it. Slytherin versus Gryffindor always brought the largest crowds to the Quidditch games, every house in the school knowing they were the largest rivals. Pansy's eyes darted back and forth between the two seekers as they dove after and chased. Pansy bit her lip then let out a defeated sigh as Potter swooped and got the snitch.
The Gryffindor fans started whooping and cheering as Potter gave a victory lap of the pitch holding the shiny snitch in his hand. The Slytherin stands let out a groan, as their team was beat once again by the Gyffindors.
Pansy retreated from the stands, down towards the corridors to the common room. Even if they lost, the Slytherin team always had a get together after every match, either to drown their sorrows in butterbeer or to drink to success. Hoping Draco wouldn't be to let down, she stuck her hands in the pockets of her robes and walked a little quicker hoping to beat the large group of rowdy defeated Slytherin's back to the common room, hoping to get to talk to Draco alone.
She entered the port hole swiftly, seeing the entire team dropping their gear and brooms around the common room, swearing and cursing about the Gryffindor team and their loss. She scanned the crowd for Draco, and saw him clomping up the steps towards the boys dorms.
She stopped walking for a minute and paused looking at the team, giving a reassuring smile "Don't worry guys, next time we'll get them for sure. You all played really well, the score was tied the hole game till Potter caught the lousy snitch. I've never seen us so close to winning. Just have a good time tonight and try to forgot about that game..."
A wave shrugs and sighs went through the team as they picked up their gear they had been tossing off, and headed towards the storage armoires to put it away. She dashed up the steps, to the boys dorm, having been there many times, Draco and her on and off had a relationship throughout the year now, and until recently everything had been going great. Lately they had been bickering, mostly Draco's fault, he might be great in bed, but he still was a arrogant jerk at times, and didn't seem to show any remorse that they would be apart for most of the summer. She had brought it up casually the other day, hoping to see how serious he was about their relationship, but he just shrugged it off saying they'd make it two months easily.
She wouldn't make it throughout the summer easily without him. She spent everyday with him, living in the same quarters, sleeping with him, helping him and letting him copy homework, eating meals by his side.. She was more serious about him, than he was her. She felt it from the start but had always brushed it aside and just enjoyed being with him.
She loved everything about him, his smirk, his attitude, his hair, his body, his voice, the feeling of his breath on her neck, the way he ran his fingers through her hair, the feeling of his nails scratching violently down her back when things got angsty in bed, the sound of his breath as she laid in his four-poster next to him after a night of passion. She smiled to think of it as she approached his door, knocking gently with her knuckles, then grasping the doorknob, opening the door a crack.
"Draco?"
He turned, at the sound of her voice, half dressed, in clean pants, not wearing a shirt, his eyes blazing in fury "What!?" he spat out angrily.
Closing the door behind her she stepped closer to him "I was just coming to talk...its just a game you know" her voice trailing off.
He looked at her spitefully. "A game"?? Of course, everything is a fucking game. And its weather you win or lose that fucking counts. I nearly had the god damned snitch dammit" he said angrily, slamming open his drawer pulling out a clean shirt.
She hated when he raised his voice at her like that. "You were really close. You all played really well, it was intense for the last few minutes" she said, her voice calm, trying to sooth him.
He shook his head "I should have fucking had it, every fucking time Potter beats me to it. Fuck, for merlin's sake just once I'd like to beat him before I graduate and catch that fucking snitch before him." He pulled the clean shirt over his head and sat on the bed.
Walking over, Pansy tried to smile, and he glared up at her, "You have no clue what its like to fucking let the whole god damn team down because of Potter every fucking time we play them. You can smile all the fuck you want it won't change anything."
Blinking a few times she stared down hard at him. "You don't have to be so cruel to me you know, its not like I caught the snitch or anything."
He shook his head, rolling his eyes, and finished buttoning up his shirt. She stepped towards the bed, to test where she stood, and he didn't look up. "Draco, really, let's just go have a good time with the team. I think they are all going to be feeling a little rough in the morning, drinking away tonight." She sat down on the bed beside him touching his arm.
He looked over at her, his eyes still blazing. "Yes." Reaching to his bedside table her opened the drawer and pulled out a beautiful flask with Malfoy family crest engraved on the front of it. He opened the cap, and took a generous swig of the strong liquor inside. "That's better than nothing I assume." He looked at her handing her the flask.
She tipped it back to her mouth, letting the alcohol flow down her throat, burning the entire way down. She coughed and he smirked. "Easy there, we all know you don't hold your liquor well"
She smiled and blinked a couple times, the alcohol burning her nose and eyes from the inside. She squeezed his hand but he didn't respond back as he usually did. "Draco?" she asked timidly.
"What" he asked, moving his hand out of hers and standing up.
She swallowed hard. "Why are you so angry, right now, with me, I didn't do anything."
He looked down at her, and shook his head, his eyes narrowed at her. "I'm not angry with you. I am just fucking pissed off about the game, stop asking so many god damned questions."
Her eyes widened in surprise as he said this too her. Sure he could be cruel, but not like this. Something was getting to him, and she had a feeling she knew what.
"You know, you should just forget what I said about summer vacation the other day. It might be harder for me than you but it'll be ok." she said softly.
"I already forgot." he said coldly. "I am not giving it any more thought than it deserves."
She stared at him is dismay. "What?"
"Its been fun Parkinson, but what are we doing. This relationship isn't going anywhere but between the sheets" he said smirking up at her.
"What, she stammered how can you say that?" The first time in her life the smirk on his face making her feel sick to her stomach.
"Easily" he said walking towards the door. "Don't get bent out of shape, I am just saying its not like we have something serious going on between us that you should be getting all in a panic over. Two months is nothing. We're not married or anything." He laughed cruelly. "Although im sure in your head you like to pretend we are."
"I thought you were pissed about the game, I didn't realize I don't fucking mean anything to you. I didn't know that all along I had you feeling so trapped Draco" she said backing towards the door.
"Well the way you parade around behind me, like a puppy, its getting a little tiresome" he spat out, looking out the window towards the pitch. "And I am fucking pissed about the game, don't think you occupy my entire mind Parkinson, I am more pissed about the game than anything." making his point clear that the prospect of losing a match was worse than losing her
She choked down a sob "You are a poor fucking loser Draco. I can't believe you can say any of that about me..."
"You'd better believe it. Because I just did. Now excuse me, did you not just say we should go get trashed with the team?"
He made his way to the door and held it for her, motioning grandly to the door way as if he were being a gentleman
"You fucking asshole!!!!!" she shrieked and stormed out, down the steps and towards her room.
He shook his head, not knowing what had come over him. The pressure from the game just made him blow up. Losing the game upset him more then the thought of losing her for a moment but thinking about it now, he wasn't to sure. He took another swig from the flask.. He had let the team down, his father would be disgraced to. He opened the flask again before tucking it into his pocket, taking a large swig.
"Yes" he thought, " the common room party would bring my spirits up after this mess."
He took out the flask again, downing two more large swigs and closed his bedroom door. Walking down the steps he lifted the flask to his mouth swallowing nearly all that remained inside.
The team looked up, the common room now full and a remorseful party underway. All the Slytherin girls were perched around the team players offering their condolences to the team. The crowd smelled of butterbeer and alcohol and Draco looked down at them all from the steps.
The teams keeper, called out. "Draco, we were close, but next time -hic- we'll get them"
Draco smirked at the keeper, who was obviously already into large amounts of butterbeer. "You're fucking right we will" he replied and the crowd let out a angsty cheer, as shouts of "down with Potter" and "Gryffindors are a bunch of bitches on brooms" rang out.
Draco walked over to a couch sitting beside the half Irish girl Blaise. He knew her well from class, but since he had been with Pansy, he didn't see much of her these days. Blaise smiled up at him. "Where's Pansy today?" She asked coyly. "Not up for a party?"
He looked at Blaise, "I don't know where the fuck she went." as his eyes scanned the room, feeling rather lightheaded already.
"Lovers quarrels?" Blaise asked, while noticeably batting her eyelashes at him.
"Lovers break up.." he said sighing. Feeling a twinge of guilt as he said it. He had been harsh. Tilting his head back swallowing down the rest of the contents in his flask, hiccuping slightly. "I let her off her leash. I don't need a puppy dog following me around anymore." But it felt wrong to say, after all him and Pansy had been through together. "She wasn't really a puppy" he thought to himself, "she just cared about me. She's not so bad to be around." He was already regretting how harsh he had been.
Blaise's voice broke his thoughts up. "That's really a shame." Blaise said, shifting her body closer to Draco on the couch, leaning on him slightly so he had no choice but to move his arm to the back of the couch so it was draped around her. He turned to Blaise his mind starting the feel a little hazy from the hard liquor, paying attention to her as she spoke...
*****.....Meanwhile....****
Pansy sat at her desk, her head in her hands thinking to herself how stupid and blind she had been to think he loved her ever and cared about her all along.
She wiped tears off her face, looking into her mirror. "Maybe he didn't mean it." she thought. "Maybe, if we talk, we can work this out, when he's calmed down from the game. Yes that's it, he's outraged from the game, he said so himself."
She tucked her hair behind her ears, standing up from her desk
She walked towards the door or her dorm, in no way prepared for what she was about to see.
She walked slowly down the steps gathering herself, thinking of what to say to Draco. Firstly she'd obviously apologize for calling him an asshole, it was just a misunderstanding she told herself.
She stepped onto the landing overlooking the common room.
Some people looked up, waved and called out to her. But her attention was drawn to the couch in the far corner of the room. To the silver haired boy sitting on the couch with her classmate. Their lips touching gently in an embrace. Her eyes darted from Draco's arm around Blaise to the way Blaise was pressing herself against him, she didn't take them time to see the empty flask on the table in front of Draco. All she saw was the kiss. Her mouth hanging open.
Draco felt suddenly uneasy looking up, his vision a little blurred, "Blaise, get off me." he said moving away from her, unstably, his head feeling dizzy. He looked up to the far end of the room and his vision cleared. Pansy was staring down at him, her eyes swollen and red from crying, which was obvious even from this end of the room in his drunken state. Her mouth open in surprise and pain.
What shocked him most was it hurt him to see her like that. He blinked hard gathering his balance, and attempting to stand up, and called out to her. At the very sound of his voice, a sob escaped Pansy's throat and she turned on her heels up the stairs back to her dorm, slamming and locking the door behind her.
She fell onto her bed, burying her face in the pillow, her body shaking with sobs. He didn't care. She was wrong. "It wasn't a misunderstanding. He was the cruel bastard everyone said he was." She felt dirty, and used and sick from what she had seen. "Blaise? That's what he'd rather be with?" Her sobs grew louder, her shoulders shaking in fury and in pain.
Meanwhile, Draco pushed a very drunken Blaise away from him as she tried to pull him by the arm back down to her. He stumbled around the chairs and past the fire place, chasing Pansy the direction she ran up the stairs. He paused leaning on the railing to catch his breath and regain his balance . He looked to Pansy's door. He could hear her sobs from here.
He tapped the door. "Pansy... Pansy...?"
He waited, he heard nothing inside the room except the haunting sound of her chilling sobs through the door.
"What a fucking mess..."
He leaned against her door knocking. She heard him inside, but ignored it. She didn't have enough strength to get up to the door, she was crying so hard, her breathes were struggled and quick. She took every bit of strength and hurled a book from her bedside infuriated at the door.
He heard the book hit the door with a clunk, and banged louder. "Open the door Pansy, I didn't mean it. Anything I said Anything I did, I was so fucking stupid, Pansy.. Please.." He banged a little harder.
"I don't want to hear it." she managed to call out. She body shaking with sobs, from the depths of her heart.
The sound of defeat, grief, anguish and sadness in her voice, ripped his heart. He slowly lowered to the floor, his back leaning against the door, his head swimming in dizziness and thought. He leaned his head on his knees thinking to himself. "What the fuck have I done.."
Pansy sat in the crowd, feeling the warmth of the sun on her face as she shielded her eyes from the brightness of the sun, trying to follow the fast commotion of the game. Potter had spotted the snitch first, but Draco was giving him a run for his money now trying to catch it. Slytherin versus Gryffindor always brought the largest crowds to the Quidditch games, every house in the school knowing they were the largest rivals. Pansy's eyes darted back and forth between the two seekers as they dove after and chased. Pansy bit her lip then let out a defeated sigh as Potter swooped and got the snitch.
The Gryffindor fans started whooping and cheering as Potter gave a victory lap of the pitch holding the shiny snitch in his hand. The Slytherin stands let out a groan, as their team was beat once again by the Gyffindors.
Pansy retreated from the stands, down towards the corridors to the common room. Even if they lost, the Slytherin team always had a get together after every match, either to drown their sorrows in butterbeer or to drink to success. Hoping Draco wouldn't be to let down, she stuck her hands in the pockets of her robes and walked a little quicker hoping to beat the large group of rowdy defeated Slytherin's back to the common room, hoping to get to talk to Draco alone.
She entered the port hole swiftly, seeing the entire team dropping their gear and brooms around the common room, swearing and cursing about the Gryffindor team and their loss. She scanned the crowd for Draco, and saw him clomping up the steps towards the boys dorms.
She stopped walking for a minute and paused looking at the team, giving a reassuring smile "Don't worry guys, next time we'll get them for sure. You all played really well, the score was tied the hole game till Potter caught the lousy snitch. I've never seen us so close to winning. Just have a good time tonight and try to forgot about that game..."
A wave shrugs and sighs went through the team as they picked up their gear they had been tossing off, and headed towards the storage armoires to put it away. She dashed up the steps, to the boys dorm, having been there many times, Draco and her on and off had a relationship throughout the year now, and until recently everything had been going great. Lately they had been bickering, mostly Draco's fault, he might be great in bed, but he still was a arrogant jerk at times, and didn't seem to show any remorse that they would be apart for most of the summer. She had brought it up casually the other day, hoping to see how serious he was about their relationship, but he just shrugged it off saying they'd make it two months easily.
She wouldn't make it throughout the summer easily without him. She spent everyday with him, living in the same quarters, sleeping with him, helping him and letting him copy homework, eating meals by his side.. She was more serious about him, than he was her. She felt it from the start but had always brushed it aside and just enjoyed being with him.
She loved everything about him, his smirk, his attitude, his hair, his body, his voice, the feeling of his breath on her neck, the way he ran his fingers through her hair, the feeling of his nails scratching violently down her back when things got angsty in bed, the sound of his breath as she laid in his four-poster next to him after a night of passion. She smiled to think of it as she approached his door, knocking gently with her knuckles, then grasping the doorknob, opening the door a crack.
"Draco?"
He turned, at the sound of her voice, half dressed, in clean pants, not wearing a shirt, his eyes blazing in fury "What!?" he spat out angrily.
Closing the door behind her she stepped closer to him "I was just coming to talk...its just a game you know" her voice trailing off.
He looked at her spitefully. "A game"?? Of course, everything is a fucking game. And its weather you win or lose that fucking counts. I nearly had the god damned snitch dammit" he said angrily, slamming open his drawer pulling out a clean shirt.
She hated when he raised his voice at her like that. "You were really close. You all played really well, it was intense for the last few minutes" she said, her voice calm, trying to sooth him.
He shook his head "I should have fucking had it, every fucking time Potter beats me to it. Fuck, for merlin's sake just once I'd like to beat him before I graduate and catch that fucking snitch before him." He pulled the clean shirt over his head and sat on the bed.
Walking over, Pansy tried to smile, and he glared up at her, "You have no clue what its like to fucking let the whole god damn team down because of Potter every fucking time we play them. You can smile all the fuck you want it won't change anything."
Blinking a few times she stared down hard at him. "You don't have to be so cruel to me you know, its not like I caught the snitch or anything."
He shook his head, rolling his eyes, and finished buttoning up his shirt. She stepped towards the bed, to test where she stood, and he didn't look up. "Draco, really, let's just go have a good time with the team. I think they are all going to be feeling a little rough in the morning, drinking away tonight." She sat down on the bed beside him touching his arm.
He looked over at her, his eyes still blazing. "Yes." Reaching to his bedside table her opened the drawer and pulled out a beautiful flask with Malfoy family crest engraved on the front of it. He opened the cap, and took a generous swig of the strong liquor inside. "That's better than nothing I assume." He looked at her handing her the flask.
She tipped it back to her mouth, letting the alcohol flow down her throat, burning the entire way down. She coughed and he smirked. "Easy there, we all know you don't hold your liquor well"
She smiled and blinked a couple times, the alcohol burning her nose and eyes from the inside. She squeezed his hand but he didn't respond back as he usually did. "Draco?" she asked timidly.
"What" he asked, moving his hand out of hers and standing up.
She swallowed hard. "Why are you so angry, right now, with me, I didn't do anything."
He looked down at her, and shook his head, his eyes narrowed at her. "I'm not angry with you. I am just fucking pissed off about the game, stop asking so many god damned questions."
Her eyes widened in surprise as he said this too her. Sure he could be cruel, but not like this. Something was getting to him, and she had a feeling she knew what.
"You know, you should just forget what I said about summer vacation the other day. It might be harder for me than you but it'll be ok." she said softly.
"I already forgot." he said coldly. "I am not giving it any more thought than it deserves."
She stared at him is dismay. "What?"
"Its been fun Parkinson, but what are we doing. This relationship isn't going anywhere but between the sheets" he said smirking up at her.
"What, she stammered how can you say that?" The first time in her life the smirk on his face making her feel sick to her stomach.
"Easily" he said walking towards the door. "Don't get bent out of shape, I am just saying its not like we have something serious going on between us that you should be getting all in a panic over. Two months is nothing. We're not married or anything." He laughed cruelly. "Although im sure in your head you like to pretend we are."
"I thought you were pissed about the game, I didn't realize I don't fucking mean anything to you. I didn't know that all along I had you feeling so trapped Draco" she said backing towards the door.
"Well the way you parade around behind me, like a puppy, its getting a little tiresome" he spat out, looking out the window towards the pitch. "And I am fucking pissed about the game, don't think you occupy my entire mind Parkinson, I am more pissed about the game than anything." making his point clear that the prospect of losing a match was worse than losing her
She choked down a sob "You are a poor fucking loser Draco. I can't believe you can say any of that about me..."
"You'd better believe it. Because I just did. Now excuse me, did you not just say we should go get trashed with the team?"
He made his way to the door and held it for her, motioning grandly to the door way as if he were being a gentleman
"You fucking asshole!!!!!" she shrieked and stormed out, down the steps and towards her room.
He shook his head, not knowing what had come over him. The pressure from the game just made him blow up. Losing the game upset him more then the thought of losing her for a moment but thinking about it now, he wasn't to sure. He took another swig from the flask.. He had let the team down, his father would be disgraced to. He opened the flask again before tucking it into his pocket, taking a large swig.
"Yes" he thought, " the common room party would bring my spirits up after this mess."
He took out the flask again, downing two more large swigs and closed his bedroom door. Walking down the steps he lifted the flask to his mouth swallowing nearly all that remained inside.
The team looked up, the common room now full and a remorseful party underway. All the Slytherin girls were perched around the team players offering their condolences to the team. The crowd smelled of butterbeer and alcohol and Draco looked down at them all from the steps.
The teams keeper, called out. "Draco, we were close, but next time -hic- we'll get them"
Draco smirked at the keeper, who was obviously already into large amounts of butterbeer. "You're fucking right we will" he replied and the crowd let out a angsty cheer, as shouts of "down with Potter" and "Gryffindors are a bunch of bitches on brooms" rang out.
Draco walked over to a couch sitting beside the half Irish girl Blaise. He knew her well from class, but since he had been with Pansy, he didn't see much of her these days. Blaise smiled up at him. "Where's Pansy today?" She asked coyly. "Not up for a party?"
He looked at Blaise, "I don't know where the fuck she went." as his eyes scanned the room, feeling rather lightheaded already.
"Lovers quarrels?" Blaise asked, while noticeably batting her eyelashes at him.
"Lovers break up.." he said sighing. Feeling a twinge of guilt as he said it. He had been harsh. Tilting his head back swallowing down the rest of the contents in his flask, hiccuping slightly. "I let her off her leash. I don't need a puppy dog following me around anymore." But it felt wrong to say, after all him and Pansy had been through together. "She wasn't really a puppy" he thought to himself, "she just cared about me. She's not so bad to be around." He was already regretting how harsh he had been.
Blaise's voice broke his thoughts up. "That's really a shame." Blaise said, shifting her body closer to Draco on the couch, leaning on him slightly so he had no choice but to move his arm to the back of the couch so it was draped around her. He turned to Blaise his mind starting the feel a little hazy from the hard liquor, paying attention to her as she spoke...
*****.....Meanwhile....****
Pansy sat at her desk, her head in her hands thinking to herself how stupid and blind she had been to think he loved her ever and cared about her all along.
She wiped tears off her face, looking into her mirror. "Maybe he didn't mean it." she thought. "Maybe, if we talk, we can work this out, when he's calmed down from the game. Yes that's it, he's outraged from the game, he said so himself."
She tucked her hair behind her ears, standing up from her desk
She walked towards the door or her dorm, in no way prepared for what she was about to see.
She walked slowly down the steps gathering herself, thinking of what to say to Draco. Firstly she'd obviously apologize for calling him an asshole, it was just a misunderstanding she told herself.
She stepped onto the landing overlooking the common room.
Some people looked up, waved and called out to her. But her attention was drawn to the couch in the far corner of the room. To the silver haired boy sitting on the couch with her classmate. Their lips touching gently in an embrace. Her eyes darted from Draco's arm around Blaise to the way Blaise was pressing herself against him, she didn't take them time to see the empty flask on the table in front of Draco. All she saw was the kiss. Her mouth hanging open.
Draco felt suddenly uneasy looking up, his vision a little blurred, "Blaise, get off me." he said moving away from her, unstably, his head feeling dizzy. He looked up to the far end of the room and his vision cleared. Pansy was staring down at him, her eyes swollen and red from crying, which was obvious even from this end of the room in his drunken state. Her mouth open in surprise and pain.
What shocked him most was it hurt him to see her like that. He blinked hard gathering his balance, and attempting to stand up, and called out to her. At the very sound of his voice, a sob escaped Pansy's throat and she turned on her heels up the stairs back to her dorm, slamming and locking the door behind her.
She fell onto her bed, burying her face in the pillow, her body shaking with sobs. He didn't care. She was wrong. "It wasn't a misunderstanding. He was the cruel bastard everyone said he was." She felt dirty, and used and sick from what she had seen. "Blaise? That's what he'd rather be with?" Her sobs grew louder, her shoulders shaking in fury and in pain.
Meanwhile, Draco pushed a very drunken Blaise away from him as she tried to pull him by the arm back down to her. He stumbled around the chairs and past the fire place, chasing Pansy the direction she ran up the stairs. He paused leaning on the railing to catch his breath and regain his balance . He looked to Pansy's door. He could hear her sobs from here.
He tapped the door. "Pansy... Pansy...?"
He waited, he heard nothing inside the room except the haunting sound of her chilling sobs through the door.
"What a fucking mess..."
He leaned against her door knocking. She heard him inside, but ignored it. She didn't have enough strength to get up to the door, she was crying so hard, her breathes were struggled and quick. She took every bit of strength and hurled a book from her bedside infuriated at the door.
He heard the book hit the door with a clunk, and banged louder. "Open the door Pansy, I didn't mean it. Anything I said Anything I did, I was so fucking stupid, Pansy.. Please.." He banged a little harder.
"I don't want to hear it." she managed to call out. She body shaking with sobs, from the depths of her heart.
The sound of defeat, grief, anguish and sadness in her voice, ripped his heart. He slowly lowered to the floor, his back leaning against the door, his head swimming in dizziness and thought. He leaned his head on his knees thinking to himself. "What the fuck have I done.."