A/N: It's a nice day outside – perfect for writing James/Lily fluff. Tehe.
Disclaimer: i own nothing. but don't we all wish we could have our own james potter?
"How many times do I have to tell you before you believe me?" James asked, sitting down next to Lily as he spoke.
"Pardon?" Lily glanced up from the book she was reading.
"How many times?" James repeated.
Lily sighed and stood up, "As usual Potter, you're making no sense at all. Now you have no other random questions for me …" she turned and started walking toward the lake.
"Wait!" James called, chasing after her and catching her arm, "I mean, how many times do I have to tell you I love you before you'll believe me?"
Lily stood rooted to the spot. This was the last thing she had expected. James Potter had been professing his love to her daily for years– generally in very loud and annoying ways. It had never really occurred to her to ask herself whether or not she believed him, but now that she thought about it, she didn't. Not really anyway. His gestures were so ridiculous that it seemed like he did it more for himself than to prove how he felt about her.
"I don't know," she replied, "probably when you stop feeling the need to announce it to the world."
"Why would I not want to do that? I mean …" James looked slightly scared as Lily shot him a "what-the-hell-kind-of-idiot-doesn't-understand-what-I-mean" look. He cleared his throat, "I mean," he tried again, "Why does it matter if I say it in public or in private?"
Lily gave an exasperated sigh, "Well it's obvious I'm not going to get rid of you until I explain this." She sat herself down on an old log at the edge of the water, and James followed suit.
"See Potter, I don't believe you because it seems more like you're announcing that you love me because you want attention – because it amuses people. I mean think about it. You've written it in the sky of the Great Hall, you've shouted it across rooms at me, you've marked it in pimples on the face of a first year Slytherin (at the mention of this incident a small smirk came to James' face) and you sliced it into the carpet of our common room. It's all public, it's all attention grabbing, it's – "
"But I want people to know Lily," James interjected, "I want them to know how amazing I think you are."
Shaking her head, Lily gave him a sad, almost pitying look, "What's the use in proving it to all them if you still haven't proven it to me? Everything you've done, all those times you've asked me out, it always feels like you're putting on a show. You want people to watch. I don't see the sincerity James."
And with that, she walked away, leaving James wondering how he could've thought for so long that the wrong thing to do was the right one.
--
"So I think I should try something new with Lily." James announced as he and his friends got ready for bed that evening.
"What's left?" Sirius asked with a small laugh.
"Shut up Padfoot. She told me today that the reason she doesn't believe I love her is because I'm never sincere."
"Well you're not," Remus replied, stepping into the conversation.
James glared at him. "I resent that."
"Well look at it from her point of view," Remus began, "You only ask her out and tell her how you feel in front of throngs of people. It's like a game and she's the prize. I don't know any girls who would want that."
"Psh, I do," Sirius said under his breath.
Remus turned to look at him with a roll of his eyes, "Of course you do Padfoot. For you and the girls you date it is a game. It's different with James and Lily," he added, giving James a nod.
"Yeah," James said, "Yeah I guess it is. I dunno, what am I supposed to do then?"
"You could try just telling her," Peter said, peaking out from behind his bed curtains, "No games or jokes or public places."
"Wormtail, that's the worst idea I ever heard," Sirius said, "Don't listen Prongsie, she'll die of boredom before you can get the words out."
"Or," Remus said, "she'll appreciate the fact that you listened to her, and that you want to tell her you love her just for the sake of telling her and her alone."
James was silent for a moment, "Yeah," he said, "I think I'm gonna go with Moony and Wormtail on this one."
Sirius shrugged, "Suit yourself mate, I'm going to bed."
"Me too."
"Yeah."
James shook his head, "Not me," he replied, getting up and changing back into his clothes.
"Oy, where're you off to?" Sirius asked as James opened the door.
"I'm going to see if Lily is down in the common room."
--
Lily sat on the window seat, staring blankly into the star-studded sky. Her conversation with James that afternoon had left her thinking. They'd been far more civil to each other this year (despite the fact that James' attempts to win her over had continued on as usual), and he seemed … different. A little more mature.
Maybe, she thought to herself, but only a little bit. Not enough for it to really matter. He still insists on absolutely ridiculous ways of telling me how he feels.
At least he tells you, argued another voice that Lily was trying to shut out, He's publicly rejected by you everyday, but he keeps at it. Why?
Because he wants to win.
Because he cares.
I'm nothing but a prize to him.
He's in love with you.
"Shut up," Lily muttered under her breath, aware of how crazy she must seem, "I don't need this right now."
"Oh," said a surprised voice, "Okay, um … I'll just go back upstairs then."
With a small jump, Lily turned to see James Potter coming down from the boys dormitory.
"No," she said quickly, "Not you …"
"Is there someone else here?" James asked, looking around.
"No," Lily said, feeling more stupid by the minute, "I was just, er …"
"Talking to yourself?" James came to the foot of the stairs and crossed over to the windowseat, "I do that sometimes too."
Lily gave him a small smile and found herself scooting over, "You can sit down if you want."
James' eyes widened slightly at the invitation, but he accepted happily.
"About earlier," Lily began awkwardly, "I think maybe I was a little hard on you. I mean just because you only tell me how you feel in public, doesn't mean it isn't true." She took a deep breath, "I don't give you enough credit sometimes."
"No," James replied, "I get what you were saying. And you don't have any reason to believe me Lily," he looked down, picking at a loose thread on the cushion before meeting her eyes again. "I haven't given you any reason. I've been treating you like all the other girls I've gone out with. I assumed that something big and public and loud would be the way to get you to believe me, but it's just the opposite," he ran a nervous hand through his air, "I really am thick sometimes aren't I?"
Lily found herself smiling slightly, "Its okay. Just … maybe tone it down a little yeah? I'd appreciate it."
James nodded, "Anything you say."
Lily felt strange. Were they actually having a good conversation? Was James actually listening to her?
He started to leave, but Lily stood up and lightly grabbed his wrist. "James," she said, not even sure what the next words out of her mouth would be.
He turned back to face her, and for a moment their eyes met. Emerald green on hazel. Lily never noticed there were flecks of gold in James' eyes. She had never noticed the way he looked at her – but surely he had looked at her this way a thousand times. Like she was the most brilliant, beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Like he adored her. Like he loved her.
"Yeah?" James asked quietly.
Lily moved a few inches closer and found herself resting her forehead against his, a warmth spreading through that she'd never allowed herself to feel before.
"I believe you," she whispered.
A million dollar smile spread across James' face. "Finally," he said with a shake of his head, "Y'know I thought you would never get the hint."
Lily laughed, "Yeah," she said, "Well, sometimes I'm a little thick."
And with those words, their lips met.
A/N: reviews are a magical thing : - )