Ruth's Realization
Nothing is mine, all belongs to Kudos. Total lack of fluff, so if fluff is what you want, read elsewhere…
Ruth realizes she must save Harry from himself. She must kill the love he feels for her, and she knows the only route to that self-destruction is for her to find someone else to share her life with. She looks over the grid. Tariq's too young. Dimitri, is too much like George in appearance. Alec, with all his problems, is the right age, good looking enough, and has managed to control his drinking and sarcasm for several weeks. She knows it is the only answer to avoid another Albany and save Harry from himself.
It's Tuesday. She looks over at Alec and smiles, he reciprocates, but with greater meaning. She's flirting, he's insinuating there may be more behind the smile. "Alec, care for a drink after work?"
Unfortunately, she makes the mistake of asking right as Harry walks by. "Alec has an overnight surveillance assignment.
"Since when" asks Alec?
"Since Ruth asked you out for a drink." Alec takes it as a warning that Harry is still marking his territory, despite Ruth clearly wanting to drive him away.
"Ruth, will you step into my office a moment." It was a request by Harry, and Ruth isn't sure it is a personal or professional matter.
"Of course," is her only reply.
Once they are alone in the office, Harry makes it clear by moving very close to her and closing the door that this is going to be a personal conversation. "Why are you fighting me? Why do you insist on asking someone like Alec out? You know how I feel."
"Harry, we cannot risk another Albany."
"Ruth, it all works out in the end. I'll leave MI5 if you like, and you continue on. There will always be a weakness in the chain if there is love."
"Harry, we have left it as something never said."
"…Yes," but Harry stops her. "I'm saying it now. I love you Ruth. You can do as you please, but it won't stop my love for you. As much as I love my children, I never loved their mother with the depth I feel for you. So I will leave. Then it is your choice to see me or others."
"Harry, I don't want you to leave."
"I see no other options. I can't work with you and watch you destroy what I know can be wonderful. If you are intent on staying and want to see others, then I cannot stop you. Know that I love you and leave you with a heart full of love. Today is my last day." Harry's statement shocks Ruth. She expects anger, not resignation.
With that statement, he pulls her in for a kiss, she responds. Then he pushes her away and walks out. Ruth knows she has lost her only chance for lasting love. A deeper love than she felt for George. More love than she felt in her younger days. Harry is gone. There will be no one else.
So lost is her chance for love for she did not realize it would be her last chance. As she places her hand where her lips are still feeling the touch of his, she doesn't cry but she knows her life will never be the same. She's made this decision, and he is honoring it. Still, she hopes she will see him every day, but he has taken that from her too. Their lives separate. He retires. She lives on as an analyst with her cats. Neither ever fine true happiness. She buries herself in work and wine. He turns to gardening, and drinking more scotch than is healthy. Both die lonely empty lives. His children estranged and poor Scarlett had to be put down a year after he left service. Both die far too young from broken hearts. Truth is their lives were over the day they went their separate ways at Themes House.