Finding Faith in Love

After The Bone

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order CI

A/N: It ends sad even if it starts happy, it also can explains Carolyn's disappearence. For those who know me, this is my first so...

Carolyn looked at the clock, Mike was due to meet her at forty-five minutes before. Getting up she nodded to the owner, he knew Carolyn's family. Walking down the street to a local bar, she walked in. Mike wasn't there, the bartender called her over.

"Hey Al, seen my partner?"

"Left after a rum coke, knowing him, I put little in. He said he was going back to the station. Trust me Barek, he's beat up. Two women tried to pick him up."

"What he say to 'em?"

"Said he'd sleep with his captain before them, red heads too and beautiful. Also said brunettes with caring eyes were his type." Carolyn smiled. "You I guess?"

"Yeah, I stood him up earlier last night. He gave me this on my birthday," She pulled her medal out of her shirt, "haven't took it off since. He's protective of me, take a bullet and let it kill him before letting me get hurt."

"It's your turn to be protective, get him home and make sure he's okay before he kills himself."

"Is he drunk?"

"Hardly, I put only one eighth of what a rum coke holds." She nodded and hit Al's arm.

"Thanks, oh, did he pay his tab yet?"

"No, it's at thirty twenty-two. Gonna pay it for him?"

"Yeah, might as well, before he runs it up more." She pulled out her credit card and handed it to him. "Thanks for not letting him get drunk." As she signed the recipt. "Oh say you just cleaned it, I didn't pay."

"Got it, get him home Barek."

She left and went to the station, it wasn't but a few blocks away. Finding Mike alone in the Major Case office, she sat on his desk edge.

"Hey, didn't meet me for dinner. I talked to Al, he said you came back here."

"Needed to continue this." She took the files and threw them on her desk. "What is with you Barek."

"You haven't had sleep in days Mike, I'm taking you home. Handcuffs or free is your choice."

"Don't threaten me Barek." He got up and started to go for the files.

"Mike, I'm taking you home and I'll knock you out or handcuff you. I'm making a promise, now leave it alone."

"No I'm not." She took his arm and pulled him back, "He added little rum, you're not intoxicated, you're tired and drawing to the crazy line. I'm trying to keep you from there."

"Stop it Barek." He turned to her and she looked at him. Taking his hand, she pulled her medal out and placed it in his hand.

"I haven't taken it off unless to bathe, I care Mike. I say daily prayers for you. I ask God for forgiveness of any sins you commit. Mike I'm being all I can be but you have to meet me half way. Read the back, what did you engrave, read it to me."

Looking down Mike ran a finger over the engraving, "Partners are friends, companions and loyal to each other. Helping the other when in need, I'll always be here for you Caro. Carolyn M, Barek, NYPD 6141 Major Case."

"That's it, loyal to each other. You're here to help me and I'm here to help you finally. Work with me here Mike. Please." Placing a hand on his cheek, "I don't want a good cop turned bad, it can happen when you dwell on a case too long."

She leaned into his chest and placed a hand over his as he held her medal "I'm sorry Caro." Wrapping an arm around her, Mike laid his chin on her head.

"Let's take you home, come on." She started to stand and let her hand slip as his pulled from her medal. She pulled his coat off the rack and handed it to him, slipping her arm around his, they left.

Mike's Apartment

Carolyn turned on the lights and let him in, "I'll be staying on the couch, to make sure you sleep."

"You don't have to..."

"Mike, I care. Brunettes with caring eyes we're your words. Go to bed, I'll check on you later and if I feel you ar..." She was slienced by his kiss, Carolyn pulled back after a minute for air. "Mike..."

She kissed him again and Mike slipped her coat off.

The Next Morning

Mike woke to his alarm clock, he opened his eyes to see Carolyn turning over as she slept. It was funny how she could kick a suspect to their knees but she was so resistant to an alarm clock. He reached over and turned it off.

"Thank you." He turned to find her stretching, her medal was tight on her neck, it was making a mark. Reaching over, he pulled it down gently. "Morning." She looked at him with a smile and big brown eyes.

"Morning, how did you sleep?"

"Like a baby, you?"

"Good to finally sleep, Caro w..." She reached over and placed a finger to his lips, shaking her head no.

"Shh, no regrets, that makes it worse."

"No, I want to make this right, dinner at the cafe, no missing it." He took her hand and she smiled, kissing her, Mike laid back.

It was Saturday and they had the day to themselves, mostly. He placed a hand on her cheek, rubbing it with the back of his hand.

Later, A Month

Walking in Central Park, they talked about what their future partners would be like. A shot rang out and Mike turned but felt Carolyn's hand move away. He turned back around to see it in slow motion. Carolyn slowly fell to the ground and rolled over. Mike bent down to see blood filling her cream shirt.

"Mike?" Her voice weak, she placed a hand on her medal and torn the chain, handing it out to him. "You're a good man, a good heart and I've always believed in you and I love you."

Her eyes closed and the medal fell from her grip as her hand slowly fell to the ground. Mike caught the medal and found it bloody. He leaned over Carolyn and gathered her into his arms, by then someone had called the police and sirens could be heard. Mike rocked her slowly in his arms.

"I love you too Baby, God I love you." Kissing her head, he looked down to see her. "Father in heaven, hollowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the kingdom and the power and glory forvever. Amen."

He let the EMTs do their work, but pronounced her minutes later. After it was over, questioning and police reports. Mike went to a church, he went to the front and got down on his knees, he kept asking one question, "Why?"

A priest came over and knelt beside him, "Son, what troubles you?"

"I'm a cop, I've shot people, seen dead bodies and watched people die but I just watched the woman I loved die in my arms. With all her faith in the world, in God. I wanted to know why she has to die."

"The Lord called her home, it was her time." Mike's tears weren't helpping. "Did her last words do anything for you?"

"She said she always believed in me."

"I think that was a message, what did you say?"

"I said a prayer, why I have no idea."

Two Years Later

Mike walked over to a grave and smiled.

Carolyn Mary Barek

November 6, 1973 - May 13, 2006

Loving Partner, Daughter and Mother

Mareka Barek-Logan

2006

A month pregnant with their daughter, Mike gave her a name and of course she was buried with her mother. Laying two roses down, Mike smiled, pressing a kiss to the stone with his hand.

"I talked to your parents last week, your sister-in-law gave birth to a little girl, her name is Elizabeth Carolyn Barek, after her aunt. She's huge, I remembered what you said about cases and it can lead to places. Well I finished and finally knew I would drive myself to insanity so I gave up. I'll be late to Mass if I stay to long. I love you both. I'll be back next week."

Carolyn gave Mike his faith and also the understanding that someone believed in and loved him. At his death eight years later in the line of duty, with the premission of her parents, Mike was buried beside her. By accounts, his last words were two names and two words.

"Caro and Mareka, I'm coming!"