Disclaimer: Merlin is the property of the BBC, whom I credit with being the biggest creative genius' since the Divine Creator. I am just borrowing the characters, and (unforetunately) I will be giving them back.

Summary: "I was willing to give my life for you, that kind of love doesn't just disappear." A slashy version of Arthur and Merlin's conversation in the dungeons and the execution from my story 'Of Honour and Magic'.

A/N: It was never my plan to write this, and I am surprised that I did. When I first wrote Of Honour and Magic, I was anything but a slash fan. Now, nearly a year later, I have been converted. So, this was created. My first ever attempt at slash. It was spawned from the line in the summary, and I was going to just write a little piece where Arthur finds out about Merlin and feels betrayed, before I realised 'Hey, haven't I done that already?' I rewrote the scene in the dungeons to incorporate that line, wanted to continue it to the execution and this is what you get.

You don't need to have read Of Honour and Magic for this to make sense (although, as the author, I am suggesting that you should *shameless advertising*). All you need to know is that Arthur found about about Merlin's magic in front of the whole court of Camelot when Merlin saved him and Uther from rouge sorcerers posing as traders. Merlin as imprisoned in the dungeon, and Arthur refused to see him until the morning of his execution.

Enjoy!

The dungeons were cold and damp, the straw that littered the floor was rotted through, the walls were caked in dirt and the bars on the doors and windows that closed off the rest of the world threw harsh shadows across the cell. The striking contrast between the places of light and the places of darkness caused a fresh wave of misery to wash over the sole occupant of the pitiful prison.

Merlin lay in a single beam of light, curled in on himself. His knees were pressed into his chest, his arms curled up to cradle his head and his face was stained with hours upon hours of tears. He had broken down sometime after midnight, when the day of his execution had arrived. He had waited, for two days, and yet the man he wait for hadn't come.

The sounds of life still drifted into the cell, leaving Merlin in even more pain as he was taunted by what he had lost. He had lost the right to walk amongst the buildings of the city, the right to trade at the markets, the right to gossip with the serving girls and joke with the stable hands. He had lost the right to part of a normal life, even if he had never had it to start with.

More than that, Merlin had lost the right live. More than that, he had lost the will to live.

It hurt him, to know that those people had once been him, him and Arthur. They had been as close as any two people could be, and now it was gone. To have something that was that important just ripped out from under him, ripped away in a cruel, heartbreaking way, had shattered Merlin, more than he could have predicted. Watching as Arthur stood there as he was dragged to the dungeons. Waiting for him to come, to save him. Realising that, despite everything, he wasn't coming. It was clear that there was nothing between the two of them any more.

And Merlin refused to live without Arthur. If it took the stake to make it hurt less, then the stake it would be.

As if his thoughts had called him there, Arthur's beautiful, deep voice drifted down the corridor from the guards station. Merlin's heart gave an involuntary leap, and hope rushed up inside him (He's left it late, it will be a close call getting out of here before they notice and try to stop us).

The guards were hesitant to let Arthur in, (Just knock them out, it will be easier to get out that way), but Arthur clearly managed to convince them, as moments later they were letting him into the cell. Merlin still faced away from the door (Can't let them see me smile, can't let them know that he's here for me). Arthur remained just inside the doorway as they closed the doors again, and he dismissed them. Merlin stretched out an rolled over to face the Prince.

His smile died on his face as he took in the sight before him.

(No)

Arthur's eyes, once so full of love, were burning with hatred, so much so that Merlin couldn't look into them without physically feeling sick. His eyes trailed all over Arthur's body, soaking up the sight of him.

To the casual observer, he looked no different to normal. But Merlin was no casual observer. He could see the slight crumple in the Prince's robes, the small patch of messy hair on his head and the angry look in his blazing eyes. It was strange to see him like this, and Merlin pondered if it was entirely his fault. Arthur was a caring man, it was wrong to see him so filled with rage.

Arthur said nothing, and it was all that Merlin could do to keep from crying again. He wanted so badly to fold himself into Arthur's arms, to rest his head on the Prince's shoulder and to hear that everything would be okay. But he couldn't, he couldn't go near Arthur, because Arthur hated him. Merlin stood, shakily, trying not to look as broken as he felt.

(I had you fooled, didn't I, Merlin? Well, come on, don't just stand there, we have to go. What? Did you really think I would leave you here, let you be killed?)

"A-Arthur..." Merlin began, hoarsely, his throat dry from the lack of water he'd received. "I'm so, so sorry..."

"Your apologises won't save your life, sorcerer!" Arthur spat at him, and Merlin flinched.

"Please, Arthur, I'm sorry," Merlin coughed, his throat burning with thirst he hadn't felt until then. "I never wanted to hurt you, please!"

Arthur chuckled darkly, then reached into his coat, pulling out a water skin. He threw it to Merlin, who caught it, and drank the water in it in desperate gulps. Arthur silently watched him.

"Thank you," Merlin whispered. Arthur snorted condescendingly.

"It wouldn't do for a sorcerer to die alone in a cell. They deserve the worst fate there is." He snarled at the weary boy. Merlin said nothing, just slid slowly back to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest once more and wrapping his arms around them.

"You look pitiful, Merlin." Arthur stated with a faint hint of concern and pity. Merlin remained silent. "Do you have nothing to say, sorcerer?"

"I have many things to say," Merlin began, his voice still nothing more than a whisper, "But I have no wish to speak if no one will listen."

"I'm listening." Arthur replied and a brief smile flashed on Merlin's face.

(I'm listening, Merlin. I'm listening, I believe you. I'll get you out of here)

So Merlin spoke, his voice barely there. He told Arthur the story of a warlock. He told Arthur everything that had ever happened to the warlock, from his birth to the day he learnt his destiny and beyond. He told Arthur all the secrets the warlock had kept all his life, all the thoughts and hopes he had once had. He told Arthur all there was to know. When he reached the ending, he paused.

"The king and the prince were attacked by to evil sorcerers, the complete opposite of the warlock. He was forced to reveal his secret to not only the prince, but the king and the entire court as well. He was immediately sentenced to death. The Prince didn't save him. And that is where his story ends."

The cell was silent. Arthur had turned away as Merlin finished his story, and Merlin had no more words to say, no more strength to say them.

(I understand, Merlin. Come with me, I'll save you)

"Tell me," Arthur began after several minutes' silence. "What did the sorcerer think of the prince? Did he think him a fool? A coward? A traitor, a liar? Did this 'warlock' think the prince untrustworthy?"

"No!" Merlin found his voice again. "Never. He wanted nothing more than to trust the prince unconditionally."

"So why didn't he?" Arthur asked angrily.

"Because I've kept the secret all my life and... I couldn't risk it." Merlin whispered, dropping all pretence that they were talking about someone else. "I couldn't risk losing you, Arthur, not given what we had, I just couldn't. I love you, Arthur, I do. I was never lying all those times I told you."

"Yes you were!" Arthur yelled. "From the very day I met you, that was a lie! I don't care why you did it, you shouldn't have! But you did. You kept this from me, something this important. How can I believe you when you say you love me?"

"Because I do, I swear it," Merlin breathed.

"No, you don't. You never did," Arthur responded. "I told you everything, Merlin. Every hope, every dream. Every single thing I felt. You knew, you knew years ago, every secret I have ever had. That, that, is love. Openness. Honesty. Had you truly loved me, you wouldn't have betrayed me like this."

A tear slipped from Merlin's eye without his notice, as any hope he had left was washed away. One thing that Arthur could never stand for was betrayal. Merlin had once sworn never to betray his Prince.

"I was willing to give my life for you, that kind of love doesn't just disappear!"

"Then maybe that's not the love I wanted."

Arthur ran a hand through his hair in frustration. The sounds in the courtyard grew louder, more cheerful, as if the world was taunting them for being unhappy. 'Here is life' it seemed to say. 'Here is what you are missing. Are you not sad? Don't you wish your life were this easy? Oh well, you can't have it.' Truthfully, Arthur wished for nothing more than to turn time backwards to a week ago and stop this all from happening. He wished that he didn't feel so conflicted, wished he could just vanish from Camelot, taking Merlin with him, and living a happy life with the man he loved. He knew he couldn't.

Without another word, Arthur turned and walked out of the cell.

(No! Please, Arthur!)

He turned to close the doors, and met Merlin's eyes. Desperately, the imprisoned man hurtled to his feet and grabbed the bars, reaching between them to Arthur, begging him not to leave. Arthur grabbed his hand, and linked their fingers together.

"You have saved me using your magic, Merlin, and the kingdom is thankful for that. Because of your magic you are going to be executed, and the kingdom is sorry for that. But if you cannot use your magic to save yourself, then I am sorry for that." Arthur said sadly, admitting his true feelings before the warlock for the last time. Almost painfully, he rest his forehead against the bars of the cell, opposite where Merlin rest his, and brought their intwined fingered to his chin. A single tear fell from his eye, and Arthur dropped a gentle kiss onto Merlin's hand before letting it go and fleeing from the dungeons.

Merlin was silent as he listened to Arthur's footsteps fading. He felt numb, but his mind was spinning with ideas. A single tear fell from his eye.

At midday, the people of Camelot were summoned to the courtyard outside the main castle, in order to witness the execution. Arthur slowly made his way down from his chambers, standing beside his father on a pedestal directly in front of the stake which Merlin was to be tied to. Joining him on the platform were Morgana and Gwen; as the king's ward and her maid they were expected to stand in place of honour. Gaius also stood with them, for many reasons. The first, and most official was that the man was the court's physician; it was his job to be sure of no complications in the execution. The less official reason was that the boy being killed was as close the old man as a son, and as family, he needed a last chance to be close to Merlin.

A tired and defeated Merlin was brought out of the dungeons and into the sun light for the last time in his life. His short time in the dungeons had not treated him well. His skin was pale and deep shadows surrounded his sunken eyes. The malnourishment had served to thin the boy's already thin body, giving his face a gaunt and empty look. He looked emptier than Arthur had ever seen him, (Oh, Merlin, Merlin) and it almost broke his heart to watch.

But the warlock's eyes still blazed with life, their piercing blue cutting clearly through the grim appearance of his body to show that he had not, and would not, give up. A bright spark of defiance was as clear as ever; despite his body being limp and weary, Merlin refused to be dragged to his death. Instead, he walked, allowing the guards holding him to act as supports for his worn out frame, and Arthur was proud. (Never let them see you down)

As Merlin was lifted onto a small stand halfway up the wooden stake, his hands being roughly tied behind his back and around the pole, Merlin did not allow his eyes to stray from those of the king, who watched the preparation with an air of smugness, as if to say; let anyone try to bring magic into my kingdom, they will only suffer.

Wood was brought from piles around the town and stacked haphazardly underneath the small square Merlin stood on. Smaller twigs and grasses were strewn into the gaps of the planks, and packed in well enough to ensure a quickly burning fire. Once all the preparations were made, the executioner read from a scrap of paper the crimes which Merlin was accused of. High treason, attempted murder, witchcraft, and numerous other charges thrown in to offer no avoidance of the sentence.

"Uther, please, this is nonsense!" Morgana whispered as the charges were read. The king ignored her statement, serving only to increase her panic. Desperate, she turned to Arthur, pleadingly. "Arthur, he is your friend, more than your friend, stop this madness."

For a moment Arthur was taken aback at Morgana knowing how close he had become to his manservant, but he didn't deny it. Instead he turned to her, looked her directly in the eyes, (I wish I could, save him, save him) and then turned away.

"Do you have any last words, sorcerer?" Uther called down to Merlin, having not heard the conversation between his son and ward. "This is your last chance to speak them."

"I will not try to prove my innocence, for I am not innocent of these crimes," Merlin began, his voice hoarse, but filled with wisdom beyond his years. His time in the damp cells of Camelot had broadened his mind to the trials that the world would offer him as he advanced as a wizard. "I have used sorcery, I have killed and I have lied to the crown of Camelot. Yet my name will live on, long after my execution today, well after the walls of Camelot have crumbled to the ground. I will outlive Uther Pendragon, my name still whispered on the wind for generations to come!"

(I will whisper it for you, I promise)

Uther seemed enraged by such comments, and signalled for the wood below the warlock to be lit. The actions of his followers were stopped when Merlin continued.

"I will be remembered, because though I am guilty of using magic, my crimes were committed in honour; to save Camelot and its rulers."

(You always saved me)

Morgana sent one final teary look towards Arthur, before Merlin finished speaking, his own eyes focus on the small group of his friends and family. His voice was just above a whisper.

"Gaius, Morgana, Gwen- my dearest friends, and family. You will not mourn my death for long." He turned to Arthur.

"Arthur, you stubborn, arrogant, supercillious prat!" Arthur choked on a half laugh that sounded more like a sob. (Only you, only ever you) Merlin's eyes were filling with tears. "It's been good, yeah? I mean, you've never been particularly great, and one day soon your going to need to learn to carry your own gear. But it was fun, even mucking out the stables. And I'll admit, now that it won't hurt, I do cheat on my chores - your rooms pretty much clean themselves.

(I knew it, I knew it. No, please, go)

I don't regret any of it, you hear me? None of it," And Arthur knew he was talking about them. "How can I? It's been the best part of my life, and I'm happy to do what you want until the day I die. Even after, if you want."

Merlin's eyes flashed gold, and the wood gathered on piles below him lit up with fire, blazing up around him. His still golden eyes met with Arthurs, tears spilling out of them, flowing over his cheekbones. He smiled softly at his prince and the flames burst higher, covering him from sight.

"No!" Arthur cried, unable to contain his distress. He had wanted Merlin to save himself, not kill himself. "No, please. Merlin!"

(No, come back, I'm sorry)

A/N: Yeah, so like I said, I just wanted to rewrite this. Review?