Title: Clowns To The Left Of Me, Jokers To The Right .

Author: Josephine

Email: lovellama@aol.com

Code: T/S, R

Genre: Humor

Summary: Trip really sees Hoshi for the first time.

Notes: Thanks to the 'Trip Hammered' site for the run down on Trip's

misadventures.

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So I'm sitting here at 'The New Amsterdam' (an amusing coincidence of words, an Amsterdam on this world is a small bunny like animal with sharp pointy teeth. Don't ask, trust me), drinking a Flaming Wookie (I have no idea what a Wookie is though), waiting for Trip and Malcolm to show up. It's 2015 hours, and they're late. Of course. I hate to speak poorly about my own sex, but those two are as bad as we can be. They spent all of dinner debating on what to wear.

Malcolm, bless his 'restrained' English heart, had decided on black leather pants and an electric blue shirt. Polyester, I don't doubt. Trip was leaning toward his white suit and a red T-shirt. I tried to be diplomatic and steer him toward jeans, or something with a collar, but it was like talking to a brick wall. That man is so dense some times.

2030. They better get here soon; I've had to politely say not interested to three guys and one girl already. Well, two guys and one girl. The other guy I had to get medieval on. Tellarites. They're going to be trouble.

Oh. My. God. Trip and Malcolm appear in the door, looking around the room, staring at the beautiful women. It seems that I did get through to Trip, but as usual the message went awry. The shirt now has a collar, but it's a god awful Hawaiian print under the white suit. I spin in my seat hoping (praying) they won't see me. Two seconds later I hear them come toward me, voices low. Why would they whisper?

"Trip, are you sure it's a good idea to stay with Hoshi? I don't think we're going to be able to pick up any women if we're in her company."

"Don't worry about it, Mal. We treat Hoshi like a kid sister. Hangin' with her lets the other women realize they can trust us 'cause Hoshi trusts us. Innocent by association. We'll get rid of her once we hook up with some choice babes."

I nearly choke on my Wookie. Those bastards! Kid sister, huh? Does your kid sister look like this?

Ok. Wet lips, hair off face, shoulders back, chest out, little more cleavage, skirt up .

"Hey Hosh." Trip comes up on my left.

"Hi Trip." I turn slowly, half ignoring him, and give a bewitching smile at the wall over his shoulder. After counting to three I finally look at him and Malcolm. Trip blinks a few times and Malcolm can't get his eyes above my chest. I bite back a smirk.

"Uh, sorry we're late ." Blink, blink.

"Are you? That's ok." I smile at a guy I had regretfully decided not to encourage since I was meeting up with Trip and Malcolm. But now . He smiles back and comes over.

"Been here long?" That little frown that creases Trip's forehead is so cute.

I shrug one shoulder. "I don't think so." My my. The cute guy comes up behind Trip. He's a head taller and very . tight. My smile grows.

"I'm Caldor. May I get you another drink?" A baritone! A delightful shiver runs through me. Trip's frown deepens.

"She's got one."

"It's warm. I'd love another." Caldor signals to the bartender, and settles in close on my right with an intimate smile.

Trip gapes like a fish then turns toward Malcolm, who is talking to a statuesque redhead. Hmm. Crop her hair and point her ears and she'd look very much like T'Pol. Interesting . Trip strikes up a conversation with a black haired flamenco dancer, all the while obviously keeping an eye and ear on Caldor and me. Of course, I'm doing the same to him, just not as noticeably.

I have to laugh as he tries to impress the dancer. "I go over t' near all the ships we meet up with, helpin' 'em out with their engines. I had t' rebuild one near from scratch!"

"Was that the ship you got pregnant on?" All heads turn to look at me.

"Pregnant?" The dancer hides a giggle behind her hand.

"That was not m' fault." Trip's glare turns into something else as I wrap my lips around my straw and take a pull of my Wookie. Slowly I swallow, letting it slide down my throat. I innocently look back at him.

"Stuck his hands in a some pebbles and got knocked up." Malcolm grins and nudges Trip in the ribs.

"Huh?" Coming back with a start, Trip sheepishly looks at the dancer. "Well, and how was I t' know?"

"So what did you do?" That breathless voice of hers is beginning to annoy me.

"We returned the baby t' her mother."

"That must have been hard." Cue the hand on arm . yep, there it is.

"Yeah, it was." I stare as he gives her a wry grin. "I mean, I know I couldn't have kept her, but she was still part of me ." A sick

feeling grows in my stomach as Trip and the dancer share an understanding smile. Why didn't I ever realize how much it must have hurt him to give the baby up? I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"We've encountered quite a few interesting species. There were the Andorrians; we met up with them twice. They took you hostage both times, didn't they?"

Trip gives me a glare before deflecting the dancer's concern with a quip. A deep voice whispers in my ear.

"You're being hard on the man, yes?"

I gasp, startled; turning my head I see Caldor millimeters away. "I don't know what you mean."

He looks at me a moment. "You smile at me, accept my drink, yet concern yourself with this Engineer, trying to make him look foolish in front of K'lantie. I think you like this Trip more than you want to admit."

"You know her?" I look over at the dancer as Malcolm and Trip tell of their exploits with the Andorrians, the good and the bad. K'lantie and the redhead laugh delightedly. I turn away.

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm sorry to have misled you, I ."

"Don't worry about it, meshuna. I understand. Would you like some help getting him back?"

"He was never mine to begin with."

"I saw the way he looked at you when I came over. It won't hurt to try, sena?" He laughs suddenly, a deep, rich sound like I said the funniest thing he ever heard. I smile at the infectious sound.

"You are most delightful, tela." Out of the corner of my eye I see Trip turn toward us, a frown on his face as Caldor places his hand on my knee. My breath catches at the look in Caldor's eyes, and by his clenched fist I know Trip sees it too.

Caldor looks over at Trip. "Hoshi was just telling me of the time you saved the ship." I was? A slight squeeze on my knee prompts me to play along. I smile encouragingly at Trip.

"Well, you could say I did when we were invaded this one time. These big- eared aliens knocked out the crew an' were stripping the Enterprise, goin' t' sell the women on the slave market." K'lantie squeals in fright. Good grief. I frown as Trip smiles protectively at her. "But I took care of 'em."

Malcolm laughed again. "That's when you and the Captain got into a bidding war over how much Hoshi was worth."

"What happened?" Caldor leans into me, his arm stretches out across my back. I rest against it, getting another glare from Trip.

"These aliens were greedy, so I told 'em I'd give them some gold if they'd leave Hoshi alone. The Cap'n and I 'argued' about how much she was worth."

"But for what reason would you have wanted the aliens to leave Hoshi alone?"

"I told them she was my wife."

"Wife?" The dancer looks adorably confused. She's got that wide-eyed wonder thing down.

Trip chuckles, looking over at me. "Yeah . wife ." His voice trails off as he stares at me, that cute frown appearing on his face again. But this time it's more puzzled than mad.

I hold my breath as my entire world comes down to the dawning realization in his eyes. Vaguely I register Caldor pulling K'lantie away, but I'm too wrapped up in hope of what Trip will do next to care.

Slowly he takes a step closer, raising his hand as if to touch my cheek. I see the desperate longing on my face reflected in his.

"Hosh?"

Let's just say we lived happily ever after and leave it at that.