this is posted on many of the ff sites for many authors it is entertaining to read, but was probably old email humor from before facebook this is my adaptation, on the second half, if can craft better please do so common sense needs more recovery material, lol
[what has gone before]
.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He was outlived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
RIP: We shall remember (supplied by Patriot-112)
[new material]
new announcement
COMMON SENSE was revived when his cousin came to town and found the family buried in ice (red tape).
Finding the obituary in the newspaper, (insert above obit here) he went looking for the family.
Having the skill to cut through the problems bogging down the trapped family, he quickly rescued and revived his cousin and family.
Mr. Survival of the Fittist is a ex-military, no-nonsense NRA member.
Using the knowledge of 'he has rights also', he asks for payment up front, denies service to unreasonable customers, shoots burglars dead on camera, sues morons.
He was in town to check on his relatives at the request of his mom, Mother Nature.
The Common Sense family is now being assisted in seculsion away from the 3 stepbrothers (now being kicked out of the family by the head of the family).
When the common sense family is healthy they may be visited again by friends.
[may others carry this humor forward.]