Summary: Clary Fray and her two-year-old daughter have been living as Sebastian Morgenstern's prisoners for almost three years. Back in New York, a clueless Jace Herondale—along with the clave—have been searching high and low for the redheaded Shadowhunter. When her captor and his followers are all brought to justice and Clary is tracked down, she and her daughter have to forget about their imprisonment and learn how to live again. Jace also has some learning to do though, because he is now aware of his daughter's existence and must make up for the three years of her life Jace missed out on...it won't be easy.

Set after: City Of Lost Souls...I think...most probably.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN The Mortal Instruments series, it belongs to the amazingly talented (goddess) Cassandra Clare whom I love so much for creating this other world I can bury my crappy grades and extreme social anxiety in! :D

Trivia (fun fact) : I first read The Mortal Instruments in 2009 (when I was nine) and became hooked and slightly traumatised :D

Enjoy!

-DeevieKuo (Amy)

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IF YOU FIND ME

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Chapter One: Once You Have Hope.

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Although his mouth was covered with a cloth stained with his blood, Jace could see Sebastian Morgenstern smirking at him. The white-blond boy's eyes crinkled in a way that expressed nothing but happiness. This was the bastard who brutally murdered his little brother, Max. This was the evil waste of skin who kidnapped his girlfriend almost three-years-ago and sent him torturous visions of her suffering to the point where he avoided sleeping at all costs. Now, the clave had finally caught him and brought him to justice, the penalty for his list of unimaginable crimes was execution.

But the bastard was still breathing, Jace couldn't stand it.

With a livid growl, Jace tuned out of the conversation between Alec, Isabelle, Magnus, and Robert to speed toward the smirking scum who sat in an iron chair, covered from head to toe in heavy chains. Jace swung his arm back and let his fist meet Sebastian's face, causing his head to snap back abruptly. He'd make the disgusting excuse of air pay for everything he'd done to Clary, everything. Clenching his jaw, Jace's arm swung back once again and—

Robert lunged before he could hit him a second time, yanking Jace away from the still-grinning Sebastian. He managed to spit in his face before Robert pulled him out of the way, yelling for him to calm down as Jace shouted strings of expletives at the top of his lungs.

"I hate you! I'll kill you for touching her, I will make sure you're in agony for every second you've been keeping Clary away from her family—"

"Jace stop!" Alec ordered, as he watched his dad wrestle his raging parabatai. "That won't help us find Clary, will it?"

Jace froze, and he couldn't stop the sobs wracking his chest as he all lost control over his legs and fell to his knees, he'd told himself and the others before he accompanied them to the bone city that he would control himself, but he just thought of the sickening events Sebastian showed to him through his dreams Clary's excruciating screams that scared him out of his unconsciousness. He couldn't not give Clary's captor a piece of his mind after everything he'd put his girlfriend through.

Jace felt a hand land on his shoulder, he turned his head to see Isabelle. "I'm sorry, but you should've seen what he did to her. It's not something I can just forget about."

"We know, and we don't expect you to. Do you want to get some air? You don't need to stay in here you know." Isabelle said softly, fighting back her own tears.

Jace looked up hesitantly, Sebastian was now chuckling despite the purpling bruise forming on the side of his jaw. The anger he felt caused his stomach to lurch and he took Izzy up on her offer as he climbed to his feet again, rushed up to the light and entered the marble cemetery to let his dinner fly. Isabelle rubbed his back as he heaved and retched into the grass, his disturbance clearly evident as he gasped for air.

"Do you feel all right?" Isabelle asked, looking down at her brother with concern.

"No." He said, straightening and turning away from the vomit to overlook the headstones illuminated by moonlight. "Not until she's found."

"Mama, wate up."

The little voice pulled Clary out of her slumber and her vision adjusted to see the upset toddler kneeling beside her on the straw covered floor. Hope Jocelyn Herondale was her name, and although there wasn't any official birth certificate for proof, it was the name Clary gave to the baby girl she'd birthed in this very cell almost three years ago.

"I 'fraid." Hope whispered, her green eyes glossy with tears.

Clary's heart contracted and she sat herself upright before pulling her daughter into her lap and resting her chin lovingly on the crown of her small head. "You're afraid? Why are you afraid?" Clary asked softly, her voice drowsy with sleep.

"Basti." Hope wavered.

At that, a single tear escaped the young mom's eye and landed in the toddler's fair hair, Clary bit her lip until she tasted copper. "Sebastian won't hurt you again, all right? Not while mommy's here to protect you."

"Basti made ouchie."

With a breath of preparation, Clary took Hope's little hand and rolled up the sleeve of her stained nightgown. Like always since the night her little girl was harmed, she couldn't stop the tears from coming as she stared down at the healing gash on the two-year-old's little arm.

It happened two weeks ago:

Hope had been asked to leave the room so Sebastian could deliver Clary's punishment for stealing a loaf of bread a day prior. But the little girl just clung to Clary even tighter when she saw the leather whip in Sebastian's hand and stayed frozen to the spot, burying her face in the crook of her mom's neck. Sebastian was growing increasingly impatient as Clary tried to pry her off and shove her toward the door in a desperate attempt to keep her safe, but it only resulted in Hope bursting into tears and throwing a tantrum.

A sickening crack soon echoed through the room and he'd done it, he'd harmed Hope.

The toddler was too shocked to make a noise as she dashed out of the room in a panic, holding her wounded arm. Clary's heart was beating out of her chest as she leaned forward on her hands and knees to let her stomach contents hit the straw before gaining control of her breathing and launching a string of expletives toward her captor.

"Mama?"

Clary left her reverie to realise that she was still peppering kisses against her daughter's healing skin, she longed for her stele to make the ugly gash on Hope's arm go away, and to get rid of the constant sting of her own wounds too. Unfortunately, she hadn't seen her stele since the day she was snatched off the streets of New York and locked up in this small and dark cell, pregnant and terrified.

"Yeah baby?" She answered, rolling her sleeve back down before pulling her back to lie with her on the straw. Hope yawned and snuggled close to Clary, wrapping her little arms around her neck and burying her face in her chest.

"Sing."

Clary obliged and the quiet hum of her voice filled the room, Hope kept her eyes on Clary's as they began to droop, green upon green until they finally fluttered closed. Clary remembered when Hope had first opened her eyes, the feeling she got when she first saw those eyes were unlike any other, it completely made up for the excruciating four day labor she'd been forced to go through.

...

"Please…somebody help me…anybody."

She was freezing, shaking, trembling. Her breathing labored, pain searing through her bulging abdomen, bloody water still pooling under the skirt of one of the many sleazy outfits Sebastian made her wear.

The pains bloomed every few minutes, making her gasp and writhe against the floor. She moved to her knees and began to drag herself toward the cell door which she hit until her knuckles bled. As she slammed her fists against the wood a sharp, intense pain shot through her midsection and she screamed, breathing unevenly and pleading the angel to make it stop.

Her heart jumped when she heard heavy footsteps against creaky floorboards. Looking up, she found staring at the pale face of her brother, staring down at her from the small barred window at the top of the door with his fathomless black eyes.

His unexpected smirk sent a shiver down her aching spine. "A little uncomfortable there, little sister?…"

"I need a doctor Sebastian, we both knew this day would come and you promised me a safe birth—" Clary gasped as another wave of pain overwhelmed her. "I-I can't have a baby in this hell-hole!"

"Maybe you should've thought about that before you got frisky with angel boy..." Sebastian had entered the cell by then and was kneeling before Clary, a hand under her chin as he pondered something.

Clary bit her lip in a desperate attempt to not look vulnerable in his presence, something she'd been doing since the nine month long period of her time here. The pain finally subsided and she let her muscles relax. "If I knew I was going to be kidnapped by my insane brother I would've made sure no child of mine would have the misfortune of laying eyes on you! I hate—"

"Ah ah ah." Sebastian chuckled. "I'd be careful what you say to the man keeping you and your…thing alive. If it weren't for its potential then I would be sure to snap its neck the second you squeezed it out. But taking into consideration the possibility of its power in the future, wow...I can just see it now, little Sebastian Mogenstern the second, bearing double the amount of angel blood as he follows in genius uncle Sebastian's footsteps...And if it's a girl, well…" he moved closer to her sweat covered face. "You won't be the only female bringing in the bucks, you could even catch some breaks."

Clary felt her blood turn to ice. "You evil fucking—"

"Yeah whatever, i've heard it all before." Sebastian groaned. "Not long to go now, is there?" He straightened, gesturing to her contracting stomach. "Give me a shout when you decide to ask politely and I might just send someone in to help you deliver that baby. Until then, cheerio."

He smirked evil, and blew out the single torch burning on the wall, plunging the cell into darkness. "Maybe i'll tell Jace about his imminent new arrival after all, I just love watching him squirm when I let him know all the ways in which you belong to me." He said, from outside the cell. "I wonder what his reaction will be if I tell him about this? Anyway, I must dash. Goodnight, dear sister."

Another wave of pain shot through her and she let out a shriek, an expression of both agony and fury. She had no idea he was in touch with Jace, she wondered what he was telling him. She hoped he was coping, she hoped everyone was coping without her.

The next day, Sebastian drew a mysterious rune on her abdomen, the only thing that was familiar to her was the fact that it was obviously demonic. She begged for him to stop, fearing for her baby's life as the stele burned the foreign pattern on her skin.

The labor pains didn't stop, but unbeknown to Clary the labor itself did. All she could do was hope, hope that Sebastian would tell her what he did to the baby, what the hell did that demonic rune do? Would she end up giving birth to a monster like her mother did?

Another day passed, two. The rune had faded, and the pains increased. Clary felt the baby's head quickly beginning to emerge and with an excruciated scream, she spread her legs. The stone wall of the cell felt somewhat soothing as she began to push with all the energy she could scrape up.

She thought of everything that was good in the world as her baby started to arrive. It was the least she could do if that rune really had done something demonic to her baby. As a tear slipped down her face, the image of she and Simon playing together at Luke's farm flashed behind her eyelids, she thought of Izzy ushering everyone around a table of awful food, a crusted spatula sitting in her hand and a wide smile on her face. Then she thought of Alec and Magnus, fast asleep on the couch with the chairman sandwiched between them.

Lastly, she saw Jace. His hearty laughter filling her senses, the sun glistening an outline on his hair, giving him the illusion of having a halo as he moved his hand through her coppery curls.

The shrill cry echoing through the cellar yanked Clary from her visions, and with trembling breaths she brought the small body from up between her legs, onto her chest.

She'd done it, she'd finally given birth to a teeny tiny baby girl.

The agony she'd gone through just seconds ago was long forgotten about as she stared down at the screaming baby cradled in her arms. And, for the first time since her kidnapping, Clary was smiling.

The baby hushed her cries at the rhythm of Clary's gentle rocking and after a moment, her eyes fluttered open to stare up at Clary, quizzically.

To Clary's utter relief, the baby's eyes were green, the same piercing green color of a fairchild and not the heinous black orbs of the experiment Valentine had conducted. Her baby wasn't corrupted, she was healthy. And what filled her with delight the most was that the little girl had golden blonde locks, just like Jace.

The newborn's hand went up and Clary took ahold of it, finding it so unbelievable that a human could have fingers so tiny and fragile. Then those little fingers latched onto her pinky, encasing it in the most heartwarming way. Clary was falling for this little girl faster than a whippet chasing a rabbit, she felt a love so strong and pure course through her very being. This child was so small, so innocent of the world that had given her the awful luck of being born in the confinements of the bloodstained stone walls. A while ago, Clary had given up all hope of ever escaping the hands of her brother but simply looking at the little baby she and Jace made together filled her with determination to get back to her family, back to her mom and Luke, her friends and Jace. She felt a responsibility to fight for this little baby, she wanted her to spend as little time as possible in this place, wherever it was.

"We'll get out of here, and that's a promise." she whispered. "It may be impossible to escape from here ourselves but I know that your daddy will be doing everything to come get us, he's Jace Herondale the unstoppable and I know he'll find us one day."

Clary stroked the baby's velvet soft cheek as her little eyes took in the new surroudings. Clary's face hardened, and she thought of something her mom once told her. "Once you have hope, anything is possible." She recited.

The baby's little mouth turned up in what Clary swore was a smile, and it quickly had her doing the same.

"You like that don't you? Do you like Hope?" She asked, rhetorically. "All right then, it's settled. Welcome to the world, Hope." she said and pressed a kiss to her head.

...

Clary watched the torchlight cast shadows upon her sleeping daughter's face as she raked her hand through Hope's oily blonde curls. She was listening out for Sebastian and his followers, resisting sleep. She knew it was unlikely for her brother to miraculously show up, he'd been gone for days now. After almost three years, the opportunity to make an escape was presenting itself. The only downside was that Clary had no recollection of being brought to this cell, she had no idea where she was or where Sebastian was, it was too dangerous and now that she had a toddler to think about she didn't want to risk it, she knew what her brother and his men were capable of.

Maybe the clave had finally tracked him down? No. that was impossible, Sebastian was smarter than every single being on this earth, he made no mistake.

With a sigh, she buried her face in Hope's hair and let the rhythm of her daughter's light snoring lull her into a deep sleep.

So what do you think? Make sure to leave me a review letting me know your thoughts (I don't bite) unless you diss Clace, Malec, or Sizzy, or turn me into a vampire if you do don't expect me to not bite.

I'll get chapter two up when those delicious reviews start coming ;)

Thanks for reading.

Peace, Hugs, Clace.

-Deevie-Kuo