Define irony.

It is neither a lie, a joke, a coincidence, merely anything unexpected or something Alanis Morissette understands. It can overlap with those (Except, maybe the last one) but they aren't ironic by themselves. There are seven types of irony. Socratic, verbal, dramatic, tragic, situational, cosmic and historic.

An example of situational irony. The former president of Mothers against drunk driving was arrested and charged with a DUI. Another case. I was hit on the head by a piece of brick, which caused me to go comatose for a week, as I was walking out the door of the hospital, after getting the all clear after a head injury. Only one type of irony, but it is ironic. Of course, I have just woke up from the injury, in a dark hospital room. Head bandaged, I got up and walked around to see what was going on. Wow, hospitals are creepy in the dark.

I guess, since I'll be walking for a while, I should introduce myself. Names Ezio. Ezio Jacuzzi O'Malley (And if you snicker, I will kill you). I'm Irish-Italian, living in Northern Ireland, here in Belfast for a medical check (although you probably realise that), just out of High school, and was going to go into University this year. Well, since I was left in a coma in a hospital, and the only form of time I found said that I was comatose for 4 days, that means that something has happened. Seriously, has there ever been a movie that has a good thing happen in an abandoned hospital?

Well, here I am, all alone, or so I thought. All of a sudden, I hear an explosion. As I turn to face it, I see this guy running straight towards me. "Get down!" was the first thing he said to me. He was being chased by a flying hover ship being piloted by a goldfish… Oh, crap. The sea is invading. Or aliens. Whatever. It had guns, and we needed cover. We both got behind the reception desk as he shot off one of the ship's guns with an assault rifle.

"Can you explain what's going on here?" I asked. He was quite fat, but not obese. Compared to my mother, he was in top health. Was wearing sunglasses, a T-Shirt with a button shirt over it, jeans and boots. He had an injury to his left arm, which was bandaged, but not a severe injury. Waxed hair, beard, something tells me he's not Irish.

"Well, it's a long story." He began. Yep, American, southern states, I would say. Around Alabama, Texas, somewhere near there. "As you can tell, some Drophyd is shooting at us." Drophyd? "From the attire, you probably just woke up, so here's the basics. That is an alien, from god knows where, and from what we know, they do understand English, as well as their leader. We think that it's their first language, which opens up a whole few new questions." He took out a handgun and handed it to me. "You'll need this. Help me take out this asshole and I'll answer all your questions."

Taking the handgun, a sudden headache caught on. "Hey, you okay?" It was sore, but bearable.

"Was in for a head injury." I replied. As it suddenly got worse, I could tell that the Drophyd was getting close. I could also tell that I was glowing. As well as several small items around me. That were flying. "What the…?"

"Wait…" the American said. "This isn't normal for you, is it?" As I shot him a glare, he just chuckled. "Try focusing on one large object and see what you can do?" Large, object, large object… Gurney! Behind the flying fish tank of DEATH! (Sorry) I focused on it and managed to make it float. The headache was getting worse, but I had to wait until after to sort that out. As if by instinct, I made it fly straight at the ship, knocking it into a wall. The ship exploded, sending the glass ball that was the space ship straight to the ground, where it broke.

"Nice!" the guy helped me to my feet and we got out from behind the desk. "So, you're a Conduit. That's good."

"A what? Conduit? Seriously, what's going on?"

"Conduit. It means you have powers." He walked away from me and picked up a rucksack and put it on his back. "Name's Zeke, by the way. Zeke Dunbar."

"Okay, Zeke, name's Ezio." As I walked over to him, carrying my gun, and checking the bottom. "By the way, can you give me a clip? The gun? Is empty." I held up the gun to show him that the gun lacked a magazine.

"Oh, sorry about that." As Zeke threw me some ammo, 2 clips and a box of bullets, he sat down and took out a bottle of Pepsi. He offered me some, and god, was I thirsty. Being comatose for 4 days kinda makes you thirsty. "Well, first off, this whole mess started four days ago. Initially it started in China, where the invasion started. Next was Korea, and then the Middle East."

"They're idiots. They missed Tokyo by a few hundred miles." I joked.

"Yeah, but they attacked the countries with Nuclear weapons." He replied as he took the cola off of me. "God, from what I've found, they killed everyone in China with some weird weapon. It was luckily destroyed, but, well, Pandas are the dominant species there."

"You're kidding me."

"Wish I was. It killed humans, but other species gained intelligence." He wasn't lying. He had pictures of Pandas cooking, scavenging with heavy equipment and creating robots. It was so cute, but it made it worse.

"Hang on. What's a redneck doing in Ireland, anyway?"

"That's a good question." He took out a mobile, iPhone 4, and checked it. "The president of Afghanistan was here for peace talks as well as trade with Stormont. There was going to be a huge rally with several hate groups, the British Defence League, violent yobs who wanted a good fight, the BNP, Westboro Baptist Church."

"Were they killed?" As Zeke gave me a dirty look, I was taken back. "I don't condone it, but killing them would do the world a favour."

"Most survived when the Drophyds struck. The ones from Westboro didn't." Hell froze over. "I was there because of my job." Zeke then showed me a badge. Nexus, some UN organisation that worked with Interpol to investigate unusual crimes. It was recently founded 6 months ago. "I work for Nexus, a group who investigate crimes committed by Conduits. Me and my partner found out that a Conduit, known for hate crimes before he got his powers, was going to attend. Could turn anything into an explosive. We were close to arresting him, then the Drophyds came and killed the guy. The protestors got away as soon as possible, trampled civilians, me and Cole got as many to a safe place. They're over in the Odyssey Arena. We should head there too. Cole's a Conduit, by the way."

"Okay, so you don't have powers, huh? Guess that, kind of sucks when you work with people that do."

"Well, I've had my spine broken several times. But we have powerful healers." As he got up, we got ready to leave. First order of business, get some new clothes.

"By the way, how do you know what they're called? The Drophyds."

"Remember how I said that their leader spoke English? He directly referred to them as Drophyds. This small bug called Tachyon."

Once that and the clothes business was settled with, (Surprising how close we were to a store) we headed towards the Arena. I guess I should give a description, then. Shoulder length dark blonde hair, that I have in a ponytail with 2 lengths splitting out (Like that guy from Fullmetal Alchemist), a slight tan, green eyes, and a scar under my right ear (It was for an emergency procedure that I had to go through). In terms of clothing, I'm wearing a dark blue T-shirt, jeans, some sneakers and a hoodie. In terms of build, I'm fairly thin, and somewhere in the middle on height (5 foot, 8).

We got attacked along the way, but I got used to using telekinesis to fight. We managed to get to Victoria Square easily enough, but it was a mess. Taking a break as Zeke made a call, got to ask how he has signal, I don't. Of course, looking around for any Drophyds that would attack, then I discovered a second power. Dammit Cole, pick up. His mouth wasn't moving. Are you draining power somewhere or did you step in a puddle. That was his thought that I was hearing. "Sorry, my friend won't pick up. Might be doing something important." I was gob smacked that I could do that. "What? Can you hear thoughts too?"

Yes

"Holy crap!" He jumped about 3 feet at that moment.

"Wait, I can project as well?" I was scared that this was real. I could hear thoughts, now I could feel a person's presence, and that was when I got ready. "Zeke, someone's coming. I can feel a large group are on their way. We have to hide." There was a large group on the way. But it was too late to hide.

We were suddenly surrounded. Drophyds everywhere. We ran into a store, got ready to fight if we had to. Didn't expect to survive, but we have to. Just in case someone comes. Makes sure to stay behind cover Zeke thought. I gave a nod, but we didn't need to stay behind cover, we needed a miracle.

Hey, author here, residentidiot, res20stupid or O. Call me by my real name (if you know it) and I'll beat you to death. I want to say a few things about the fic.

First, it's a Massive Multiplayer Crossover. It will have references or plotlines from various works, and I'll let you guess what's next.

Second, I'll not go into physical descriptions to characters that are not OC, like Ezio.

Third, I'll make changes to pre-existing storylines if I think it will improve the current situation. For example, either inFamous 2 hasn't happened yet, and if it does, I'll kill the Beast quickly, but still leave a lasting effort for the heroes to handle.

Please rate and help me make this a great fic, I only have one editor (Call him... Well, Ezio has a Baccano! reference, so... Firo! Call him Firo.), and another could help soon. But for now, like the preferred translation title for 'Baccano!', this could turn into a 'Stupid Commotion' and not in a good way, if it goes tipsy.

By the way, should I incorperate a drinking game?

res20stupid