Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers
A/N: All right folks, this first chapter isn't at all involved in with the story. I just saw this on Family Guy and thought it would be a funny way to start off the story. And as for the entrances some of the rangers have, most of those were inspired by several WWE superstars(surprised?). Well enjoy!
The scene is at Graumen's Chinese Theather, where the entire media is outside. Cameras are flashing, reporters are interviewing people, and fans are eagering awaiting the arrival of the stars of this event. What is this event you ask? The premiere of some blockbuster movie? Nope. It's the World Premiere of the new story Missing: Part Deux! The screen goes to a booth positioned at the top of a tower next to red carpet. It is set up so that the people in the booth can look down on the carpet. Inside the booth are our hosts for this event, Goldar and Lothor. Both of them have on tuxdeos and Lothor is wearing a giant top hat. He is also downing a several glasses of Whisky.
"Welcome you worthless humans! I am Goldar and this my co-anchor Lothor!" Goldar says. Rather than greet the fans, Lothor simply raises his glass in the direction of the camera. "We're here tonight at the event of the day, the World Premiere of Missing: Part Deux! And it appears that some of the rangers have arrived!"
The screen then flips to the runway were the Mystic Force rangers have arrived. Nick, Xander, and Chip all haveon tuxedos while Udonna, Clare, Vida, and Madison all have on dresses. However, they all still have there wristbands, capes, vests, and boots from thier Mystic Uniforms on.
Next was Bridge, who was with walking with his date for the evening, Z. Or rather they were being pulled, as they sat on a chariot of toast that was being pulled by Jack and Omega. Apparently they lost some sort of bet.
The song "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred begins playing. Boom and Piggy appear from nowhere and roll a red carpet on top of the one already there. Phineas, Bulk, Skull, and Toby ( who, along with Piggy and Boom, will be known as the Nobodies) appear and start snapping pictures as Syd, Sky, and Conner come down the red carpet. Sky and Conner have on tight jeans, bow ties with no shirts, shades, and large fur coats. Both of them have blonde highlights in there hair and are unusually greesy. Syd is dressed, well, really skanky. Rather than walking, Conner and Sky are eroticlly dancing down the carpet as Syd rubs there abs until they enter the theater.The screen then flips back to Goldar and Lothor.
"Was that supposed to be sexy?" Lothor asked with a disgusted look on his face
Goldar respnded "I think so. But in any case, I have word that our next ranger is approaching. Cassidy?"
"Goldar, I've just recieved word that Bradley Brothers are appproaching the arena. In fact, here they come now!"
Blake and Hunter then tear down the runway on their motorcycles dressed in tuxedos with shades and red and blue headbands. Tori is sitting in a sidecar attached to Blake's cycle and is wearing a gown with a set of goggles on her head. They are speeding down the carpet not bothering to stop for anyone or anything in the way. Because of this, Devin and Cassidy are forced to jump out of the way. Just as Devin and Cassidy were about to regain there composure, Ethan comes down the carpet on one of the motorcycles from the movie Tron., leaving a trail of blue light.
"Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix begans playing as Dustin and Shane come down the carpet dressed in tuxs with red and yellow feahter boas, shades, and weightbelts with Hulkamania written on the back. Half way down the carpet they stop and play some air guitar before doing various Hulk Hogan like poses. Just like when there idol is performing, people used this time to go to the bathroom.
"Go Green Ranger" begins playing as a morphed Cam comes down the carpet, waving to the people and brandishing Tommy's Dragon Dagger. The screen then quickly flips to Goldar and Lothor.
"Wow, I didn't know Tommy could still use that morpher." Goldar said.
"That ain't Tommy. That's my ungrateful nephew, Cam." Lothor said betwenn sips. At hearing this, Goldar's eyes became the size of tires. The sound of a dragon screming was then heard in the distance.
"Run for cover!" Goldar yelled as eveyone except Cam quickly took his advice. Moments later, the Dragonzord appeared and unleashed a flurry of missles on the unsuspecting Cam. The music stops and Dragonzord uses its enourmus claws to pick up the dagger and stomped it's way back to its hiding stop. Hunter and Blake came back around on thier bikes and scooped him up on a stretcher and take him into the theater.
"Is it gone?" Lothor asked as he hid behind the desk.
"Yeah. It don't take to kindly to people touching that dagger. I remember the first time I was ordered to touch that damned thing."
Flashback: Angel Grove
Goldar is standing in front of the rangers holding the Dragon Dagger in his hand.
"What will you do now that I have your weapon, Green Ranger? Hahahahah!" he said
"Aw man! He has my dagger!" after Tommy said this, a dragon's roar was heard. Everyone looked confused until the Dragonzord appeared and stomped Goldar flat. Then the Zord peeled the squished Goldar off his foot and returned the dagger to Tommy.
"Thanks big guy!" Tommy said as he petted his zord. The zord began rolling on its back and kicking its leg as Tommy petted it.
End Flashback
"Yeah those were good times." Goldar said with a smile.
"Anyway, I think we got some more rangers coming. Marah, who's down there?" Lothor said slightly slurring a bit.
"Marah? Who the hell is that?" a confused Cassidy asked.
"I mean, ah, Cassidy. Yeah that's her name, Cassidy." Lothor said as he took yet another sip.
"Well I just heard that a few of the Wild Force rangers have arrived!" Cassidy said as Cole and Alyssa walked down the red carpet. Both of them have on matching red and white Vera Wang gowns.
The Super Mario Bros. theme starts playing as Merrick and Shayla walk down the carpet. Merrick is dressed in a grey version of Mario's suit. Shayla is wearing a pink dress like Peach. She is also carrying Max, who is dressed like a blue Toad. Merrick is also pulling Danny on a leash, because he dressed like a black Yoshi.
"Metalingus" by Alter Bridge begins playing. Eric comes down the carpet dressed in a pair red and black flame pants, a long black coat, a pair of shades, a blonde wig, a fake goatie, and a bowtie. He is with Taylor, who is dressed in a similar fashion to Syd. Halfway down the carpet, Eric and Taylor begin making out in the most disgusting way possible.
"Get a room!" Lothor yelled down to them
"Hey! Screw you buddy!" Eric said as he summoned his Quatnam Defender. He then randomly shot at the tower, hitting Goldar in the wing.
"Why you little...AH!" Goldar tryed to fly down and attack Eric, but due to the fact that his wing was injured, he simply fell to the ground. Eric and Taylor laughed at the griffin-man and entered the theater.
As the medics helped Goldar back to the tower and fixed his wing, two blue racecars zoomed down the runway. From them emerged TJ and Lucas, who were excorted by Cassie and Nadria. Both men were dressed in blue racer suits with matching helmets. Both have on blue jackets with "Blue Racers" written on them. TJ's is written in red, while Lucas's is in white They also have on scarfs that match the text on the jackets. TJ is also has on a pair of dark goggles, and a large red X across his chest. Apparently he's going for the whole Racer X look. Nadria and Cassie both have on pink versions of TJ and Lucas' outfits, only minus the helmets. Suddenly, Lucas's trunk pops open revealing Trip and Circuit. Both are wearing green and white versions of of the overall jumpsuits worn by Speed Racer's younger brother. The six of them then enter the theater.
Moments later a long red limo, with the word "Collins" emblazoned on the side, came down the carpet. The door opened and Wes and Jen emerged. Wes is clothed in a tux with an incongriously large red cowboy hat perched on his head; while Jen is wearing a pink gown. For some unexplained reason she has a large, disugsting, mole on her face. The mole in many ways is like a car wreck; a gruesome sight that you don't want to see, yet you can't look away from it.
The two giant ladder arms of the Lightspeed Megazord came down in the middle of the carpet. Chad, Dana, and Carter are all in the hands, while Joel is standing midway up ladder waving to the people. Kelsey then slides down the ladder on her rollerblades, effectively knocking down everyone in the process. After dusting themselves off, the Lightspeed rangers entered the theater.
All the lights dimmed as "Slow Chemical" by Finger Eleven plays. Ryan appears at the end of the carpet wearing a pair of black leather pants, a form fitting tanktop, a trenchcoat, and a large widebrim hat. All the black in his clothing makes him seem very pale. He doesn't walk, but seems to floats above the carpet down to the entrance of the theater.Just before he enters the theater, he removes his hat and rolls his eyes back in his head. His head is shaking so badly everyone is sure he was having a seizure of some sort. He then walked into theater.
Back at the announcers booth, Lothor is so drunk he can barely sit up straight and Goldar has his injured wing in a sling.
"So Goldar, you gonea tell mes and da peepel bout sum a yer adventurs win you waz workin fer dat Rita chick?" Lothor said in his druken in a drunken slurr.
"Um, what?" Goldar questioned.
"He asked if your going to tell them about some of your adventures while working for Rita." Sensei, who for some reason was still in hamster form, said. How he got there was a mystery to all.
"Ah! A talking hamster!" Goldar screamed. He swatted Sensei far into the distance with his sword. "Well since you asked, I'll tell you an interesting little tidbit that just came to mind."
"Wel out wit et den!" Lothor sputtered out.
Goldar stared blanky at Lothor "Anyway, did you know Tommy was never hired to be the green ranger?"
"Ya dunt saye." Lothor tossed his bottle of Jack Daniels into the crowd, injuring a small group of people . He then started on another bottle.
"Well, originally Rita wanted Tommy to be her quote "Boy-Toy" and Squatt was going to be the Green Ranger. But after me and Scorpina did some quick talking and convincing, she decided to give the power to Tommy. That boy-toy role was filled by Finster."
Lothor began vomitting wildly. It wasn't clear if his violent vomitting was caused by the fact that he was so drunk or the thought of Finster being Rita's "Boy-Toy". Perhaps it would be better to turn our attention to the sky where our next group of Rangers will be arriving.
The B.A.S.S. came souring threw the sky and crashed into the red carpet, completly destroying the three cars parked there.
"NO!" Lucas and TJ screamed in unison. "She was the only thing I'll ever love!" both said as they mourned the loss of there cars, much to the dismay of Cassie and Nadria.
From out of B.A.S.S. came Andross, Karone, Ashley, Zhane, and the lost Galasxy rangers, with the exception of Leo. They all start waving to the crowd and smiling.
"Hm, where's Leo?" TJ asked
"No idea. He said he wanted to come in with his 'new best friend'." Mike said. Just after he said this, Leo and Rocky start making there way down the runway. Both have on red warm up pants, no shirts, white bath robes, and red headbands with there names in white lettering. For some reason both of them have there hair colored blonde and are doing dances that they consider sexy, but to everyone else they just look stupid.
"Boom" by P.O.D. plays as a man wearing black and green leather pants and matching mask hopes from under the red carpet amisdt a flurry of sparks. Everyone assumes it is Rey Mysterio, but it is actually Carlos.
As soon as Carlos was in the theater, Justin swings down from a rope dressed like a pirate. He pulls out his sword and began swinging it at random people in the crowd before going inside.
Next was Zack, who entered wearing a black and purple military uniform. The Nobodies also have on the same outfit. They are all doing dances that haven't been popular since Zack's time as a ranger. Halfway down the carpet, they do a dance that can best be described as a mixture of the The Robotand Riverdance.
The sensible rangers (anyone who hasn't entered yet with the exception of Jason and Tommy) come down the carpet wearing tuxs and dresses of there color. They wave to the crowd and have on huge smiles. The screen then flips to the announcer's booth.
"Well, that was bland." Goldar said.
"Yooo cun saye dat agin." Lothor slurred.
Goldar looked at his co-anchor. "After this, you are going straight to AA. Wait a second, I have word that we have a zord approaching the theater."
Jason's Dragonzord comes to theater already in warrior form. It is carrying a huge TV screen. He placed it down and returned to wherever he came from. The theme from "2001, A Space Oddessey" begins playing and the TV begins showing Jason's many highlights as a Power Ranger. As this is going on, Michael Buffer walks in the middle of the carpet with a micraphone.
He began "Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you, the first and therefore best Red Ranger in history, Jason Lee Scott!"
A large amount of sparks go off as Jason makes his way down the carpet. He is wearing a red robe with golden trim that comes to the floor. It is so long that the Nobodies must carry the tail end. Some of the younger rangers were in awe, but most of the rangers that knew Jason were not. Just as Jason took the mic from Buffer, Tommy's Brachiozord appeared. It had a TV four times the size of the one used by Jason on it's back. It used it's head like a crane to drop the TV down on top of Jason's, easily crushing it.Then the Red Super Zeo Zord appeared carrying something that was much taller than the zord itself. Whatever it was was covered by a huge black sheet.
Jason tryed to speak into the mic, but to no avail. Apparently someone had his mic cut off. The large TV then began playing a movie that was being narrated by the guy who does the NFL Yearbooks. The video was off all the Power Rangers defeating there enemies in battle.
The narration began, "Since there beginning, the Power Rangers have been pillars of strentgh and power. There bravery and valor has been well documented throughout time. And though most rangers have very little in common, they all share one trait; all of them have been defeated in battle." the video then switched to the rangers getting defeated and losing battles. "All rangers have suffered this fate but one. And that one is King Tommy Oliver." Red Super Zeo then took the sheet off to reveal a giant statue of Tommy in his white ranger suit. Along with his statue were the statues of the Trini and Kim clutching Tommy's legs. There were also statues of Billy and Zack bowing down to Tommy's statue. And to top it off, Tommy's statue is standing on a statue of Jason's defeated body.
"Yes, King Oliver is by far the best ranger in the history of history. He's done things other rangers can only dream about doing. He killed a giant monster without a zord, something no other ranger has done .He killed a monster without morphing. He killed one thousand monsters at the same time in his Turbo days. He once defeated a megazord without a zord. And he also stood on his zord many times, as opposed to sitting inside like the other, less cool rangers." the video screen began showing footage of these deeds.
"Man, that is so made up." Jason said as he and the other rangers looked on.
"What makes you say that?" Cole asked.
"Well, TJ was the one that killed a thousand monsters, Eric destroyed a giant monster without a zord before Tommy did, he didn't defeat the Megazord, he didn't morph to kill the monster because it had a stroke before the battle could begin, and the reason he always standing on the zords is because he's afraid of cramped spaces." Jason said bitterly
The video then stopped. The red carpet got wider and from seemingly nowhere, a choir appeared. They began singing "Number One" by Nelly. Tommy's white tiger zord came walking down the carpet with a throne on top of it's head. Sitting in the throne was Tommy. He had on a tux, shades, and a long white fur coat. Every one of his fingers was decorated with a platnium ring and a platnium crown sat atop his head. He has a replica of the World Heavyweight Title with his name engraved on it around his waist. He is also carrying a jewel studded staff with him.
The zord stopped and Tommy hopped down from his throne. As soon as he was down, he threw his arms in the air as a large fireworks display goes off. The display is large enough to set a small country on fire. He then made his way toward the carpet, waving to his many fan-boys and groupies along the way. He finally enters the theater and the others follow suit.
"Well it looks like all of our rangers have made it inside. Guess that means our night is over." Goldar said.
"Eh Goldar, yus wana goo hit a coupla baaz?" Lothor asked.
"No way! Your drunk enough as it is, and if I'm not home in twenty minutes Scorpina is gonna make me sleep on the porch."
"Wow, she dunt even leet ya sleep on da cuch?"
"Naw, she says I always get my fur on it. But anyway, that's the end of our show folks! For Lothor, Devin, and Cassidy, I'm Goldar saying g'night everybody."
A/N: Well folks, that was the first chapter off this story. Just like I knew it would, it really got my creative juices flowing. So, the next chapter will be the first actuall chapter of this story.