He couldn't explain how he felt right now. It was like he was being burned alive, yet at the same time all the pain he felt was fading away. After all the suffering he had gone through, this should have been a relief. But it wasn't.
He still had so many things he wanted to do. He still wanted to protect others, he still wanted to make people smile, he wanted to make his ideals a reality… he wanted to be useful.
He had always been the youngest, and consequently the shortest, but he was still a captain. At times, he was respected, other times, teased. Either way it didn't matter to him. He cared for them all in the end. Wasn't that why he fought?
Then again, now it didn't matter much. He had given it all up to protect her, the girl only a couple years younger than himself. She had always seemed so innocent, so he naturally felt as if he should protect her. He felt a burning desire to fulfill her wish, all so that she would smile. Her smile was like the remaining ray of sunshine in the corrupt world they were living in. That's how everyone in the Shinsengumi felt.
That's how he got himself into the situation he was in now. Ignoring the pain he felt, he looked at the girl he had given up his life for. She was crying, shimmering tears slipping down her cheeks. He hated seeing it, but he couldn't blame her. She had already watched her father die, so seeing two more of her friends fading away in front of her would be more than enough to push her over the edge. Tonight, three of the people she was closest to would pass. And he was one of them.
He looked at her through his blurred vision: Chizuru. She was kneeling beside him, one of her hands placed on top of his. Her crying had stopped temporarily and in the end, he could tell she was trying to be strong. But despite her efforts, he could still see the despairing look in her eyes as she witnessed his suffering.
"Don't look at me like that," he muttered in a quiet voice. "Please smile, like always."
Her tears had come again and her soft sobbing filled the room. Regardless, after a moment, she did her best to smile back at him.
He couldn't help but chuckle at her actions. "That's the one. Stay just like that."
Keeping a grin on his face even though he could feel his life slipping away, he closed his eyes.
Realizing what was happening, the girl let out a desperate cry. "Heisuke!" she called out, but it was no good. A faint blue light surrounded his body as he let out his last breath and the girl watched helplessly as he faded away into almost nothing. Grey ashes fell from where his hand used to be.
In the end, he died protecting the friends he held closest to his heart. And he would never regret a single moment.