So the other day I was going through all of the documents that are saved on my computer, and there are quite a few stories that I started writing and never finished. Being as bored as I am, I have decided to go back and edit some of them to make them bearable enough to post. Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or the song "Dancing With Myself" and to tell you the truth, I don't really know who does (Billy Idol?). I do know, however, that Nouvelle Vague does a great job of covering it.
"WATCH OUT FOREHEAD!"
"Wah?"
SMACK!
My name is Sakura Haruno and I am a klutz. Stuff like this always happens to me; one minute I'm composed and floating around the place like a graceful goddess and the next I'm on the ground covered in shit. Luckily I'm not as bad as Naruto, my klutziness never shows in those tense important times (like that time when the baka farted in front of that beetle.)
But still being a klutz sucks, and it tends to lead to either very awkward or embarrassing moments.
Like right now.
"Sakura? You okay?
"No! I just ran into a fucking pole! My face hurts like hell!"
"Right, sorry. But you have to admit, it was pretty funny, I mean your face was just priceless! That stupid look on your face…"
"Ino! It's not funny! Stop laughing at me!"
See? Embarrassing. I really don't know why things like this always happen to me.
"AHAHAHA! Sorry, I can't help it! Your cheek is all red from where you hit it!"
"Do you think anyone saw? Anyone we know?"
"Um…"
"Smooth move Sakura; graceful as always."
"Shut the fuck up Kiba!" I scream at the retreating and shaking dog boy's back.
"Yeah that sucks, he's going to tell everyone about this."
"I'll never hear the end of this. UGH! Why me? What have I ever done to deserve this?"
"I think it's Kami's way of punishing you for having such a big forehead."
"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID PIG!"
I can't sing at all, but that doesn't mean I won't. I mean come on, how can I pass off an opportunity like this? I've got the whole flat to myself! Ino's not expected back until at least two in the morning; that is if she is able to stumble home at all. Most likely she'll just spend the night at Shikamaru's. Plus this is the perfect way to release my frustration this morning's festivities of running into a pole.
"On the floor of Tokyo
Or down in London Town to go, go
With the record selection
With the mirror reflection
I'm dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
And I'll be dancing with myself"
See? No flat mate and a painful memory to overcome. These two reasons are the perfect excuse to dance and sing around our kitchen in nothing but a cami and boy shorts all the while making delicious peanut brittle! Well, trying to make it anyways. Seriously, is it supposed to look so dark?
"If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself
So lets sink another drink
Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself"
"Am I interrupting?"
Damn, I knew I should have locked the door.
Slowly I lowered the wooden spoon I had been singing into and turned to face him.
'Stay calm Sakura,' inner Sakura tells me as I compose my face and steady my heartbeat.
"Hello, Sasuke. What brings you here?"
"Well, actually…"
"OI SASUKE!! SHE COMING OR NOT?"
"YES! It would be most enjoyable if the lovely cherry blossom of youth was present!"
Aww shit, the passionate idiots Naruto and Lee are here. This won't end well. Right at that moment Naruto and Lee burst through the door.
"SAKURA-CHAN YOU READ… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING! GAHHH!!!"
Uh oh, not good. Naruto at least has the decency to cover his eyes and turn around, but Lee, he has murder in his eyes.
"SASUKE SAN, HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TAINT SAKURA'S YOUTH? I SHALL NOT PERMITT YOU TO DEFLOWER THS YOUTHFUL VIRGIN, AND IF I FAIL I WILL GIVE UP MY DREAM AS A NINJA!"
After that unnecessary, not to mention embarrassing, declaration Lee dove across the counter at Sasuke with Naruto hot on his heels and ready to break up the oncoming brawl.
Well, while they're all fighting, I guess I should go change…
I've returned to my kitchen after two measly minutes to find a knocked-out Lee, an irritated Sasuke, a near-death-by-hunger Naruto and a sheet of what was a pathetic attempt to make peanut brittle.
Walking around to the other side of the kitchen counter to better face the boys, I decided that it would be best to figure why they're here to begin with.
"So, there a reason as to why you guys broke into my flat?"
"We were going to take you out to the karaoke bar with us! It's been I while since we last went…"
"Wait, Naruto aren't you banned from the karaoke bar since last time you broke all of the equipment when Neji was chasing after you?"
"Yeah so what? I was going to disguise myself by using my Sexy-no-jutsu!"
"Ugh Naruto!"
"Dobe."
"Ne ne, what is that Sakura?" Naruto asked while pointing to my brittle.
"It's peanut brittle."
"Is it edible?"
"Sasuke, don't be an ass."
"How do you eat it, it's so huge!"
"Well you got to break it up into pieces first by gently hitting the sheet onto the counter."
"Like this?" Naruto grabbed the sheet and quietly dropped it onto the counter. Nothing happened.
"Hmm, let me try it; I think it needs a bit more force behind it," I said as I grabbed the sheet from Naruto's hands.
And with the force that I had acquired from Tsunade, I raised the sheet above my head and slammed it down onto the counter. Not a smart move. Looks as though my flat has been over-runned by peanut brittle.
"Great idea Sakura."
"…Fuck off Uchiha."
"HAHAHAHAHA! Man, and you think I'm retarded! Datteb-"
It's great during times like these to remember the positive side of having this brute strength. I just hope his black eye lasts at least two weeks.