Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Final Fantasy XII. Or Christmas or Hanukkah or anything related to those two things. I don't own the Lost numbers either.
Summary: It's Christmas in Ivalice, and our favorite 'Seemingly Dead' Princess and company have forgotten, but luckily Larsa remembered and can help everyone with their Christmas spirit.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thief- wait no- I mean…. Little blonde boy who follows me around! Wait, no not that either." Balthier put his hand on his. Remembering the annoying boy's name was harder than he remembered. What was it? Hmmm…Larsa? No, that's that even shorter kid who randomly follows us and throws x-potions constantly. Hmmm…Darn, I'm too hot to have to think this hard. Oh wait I remember…
"Truck, get over here, Basch is on our side remember?"
"Oh yeah." Vaan or Truck wiped his finger under his nose. "I forgot about that."
"Ok," Basch began. "Now that you remember can you please, get the heck off of me?"
"Oh, sorry. I thought you we've still a traitor." Basch pushed him off the top of him. Vaan rolled off to the side. "I mean, you did kill my brother and everything."
"I told you," Basch picked himself off the ground and brushed himself off. "I wasn't myself that day. And anyway, that was Noah. Not me."
"Noah?" Vaan looked questioningly at Basch.
"Oh right, Gabranth. I forgot he doesn't use that name anymore." Basch kept brushing himself off.
"Ok, lovely guys….But could you two help instead of just standing there." Basch and Vaan both turned to see Balthier being attacked by a wolf.
They had returned to the Ester Sands to train, they were all really out of shape. Earlier they had to use two phoenix downs to revive Ashe after she had been knocked out by a cockatrice, when they first arrived.
Things really weren't going to well. It seemed after they defeat Bergan, they all just got fat and, in Balthier's case, some memory loss. All together they were a complete mess. It's hard to imagine they were able to accomplish anything back then.
"No…" Penelo fell to the ground in heap and disappeared.
Wow, Basch thought as he and Vaan ran over to the group. We suck. And why is it when we die we disappear? And if you happen to be leading the group at the time, we are then forced to elect a new leader? Hmmm…
"Basch? Are you going to do anything?" Vaan yelled.
Hmm…not the time. I'll ask Larsa later, he seems to know everything. And with that, Basch readied himself for battle.
They fought for the next two minutes, and pretty much everyone got their butts kicked, until… A flying x-potion fell from the sky and healed Fran, just as she was about to fall.
"What was that?" Fran looked from side to side all the while keeping one eye on the wolf that was still attacking them.
"Oh no…." Balthier turned in fear.
"Oh no, what?" Ashe asked.
"The kid is here."
"What kid?" Penelo asked.
Vaan screamed in fright. "Penelo has healed. Please tell me someone used their magic, because I know we'll all out of phoenix downs." Everyone shook his or her heads. "No, you're right, Balthier, he's here."
"Hi, guys!" Larsa yelled happily.
"Hi, Larsa." The group said in unison. Penelo waved happily.
"Thanks for the phoenix down, Larsa." She smiled and giggled.
"I thought you all needed my help. So, I came as soon as I could."
"Well, thank you." Ashe smiled slightly.
"Ok, then." Balthier turned. "Let's kick this pig."
"Woot!" Penelo smiled happily next to Larsa.
The rest of the battle went smoothly. Larsa and Ashe stood behind everyone and healed. Basch, Vaan and Balthier took the offence. While Fran hung back at a safe distance away and shot arrows, along with firing off some of her black magic to kill the beast. And soon, the wolf was dead.
"Oh my gosh, Larsa!" Vaan yelled. "What the heck happened to you?"
Larsa looked down over himself. "What?"
"Larsa, what are you wearing?" Ashe asked looking concerned.
"Oh, this." He pointed to his shirt. "This is my holiday elf costume."
"What?" Basch looked confused, very confused.
Everyone stared at Larsa. He was wearing a green hat with red trim and was pointed at the top. The hat caused his hair to hang over his over his face. In conjunction with the hat, the young Lord, wore a green tunic with a black belt around his waist and brown tights, that couldn't be seen from the ankle down under his pointy green shoes.
"Oh my gosh! I want one too!" Vaan jumped up and down excitedly.
"Down, boy." Balthier pushed Vaan down by the shoulder.
"Hey, I do have a extra." Larsa said. "It used to be Vayne's but this year he gets to Santa Clause."
"Wait, huh? Why are you two dressed up?" Penelo looked at him with question in her eyes.
"Because today is Christmas Eve, and it's a Solidor family tradition to perform the Christmas play." Larsa replied as if it was common knowledge. "And since, my father, and two older brothers are dead, Vayne gets to be Santa and I'm a elf, again."
"You sound pretty bummed. Why is that?" Penelo knelt down to be at his level.
"I really want to be Santa, but my dad said I can't be him until I'm old enough." Larsa's eyes were downcast. "One day, I'll be Santa." He smiled.
"Oh my goodness." Ashe put her hand to her mouth.
"What?" Vaan turned to her.
"We have been so caught in this journey, we almost forgot about Christmas."
"So, what do you want us to do?" Balthier raised an eyebrow at Ashe's comment.
"We need to celebrate. We can't just skip it, that wouldn't be right."
"I can help you guys!" Larsa offered.
"Yes." Ashe nodded. "We'll need a tree, decorations, presents, stockings…Oh goodness, there are so many things."
"Don't worry, Ashe, Rabanastre is right over there. We'll get everything there." Fran pointed into the distance towards Rabanastre.
"Ok, but what about the tree?" Ashe looked to the boys.
"Don't worry, we got that covered ladies." Balthier said smoothly. "Basch go get your crimson blade, we are going to cut ourselves a palm tree."
"A palm tree? Where are we going to find one of those?" Vaan asked.
"Umm…Vaan, we're in a desert, that's the only kind of tree that that's here." Balthier motioned to the group of palm tree surrounding them.
"I don't see any." Vaan looked at the sky.
"You know what, Ashe, you, Fran, Penelo, Larsa and Vaan go into town now and go shopping. And in about two hours come back and you all can finish decorating the tree, while Basch and I shop." Basch nodded in agreement.
"Ok, see you later boys." Penelo waved as the group walked off.
"Oh thank god, they're gone." Basch and Balthier did their secret handshake; it was so secret no one even knew they had a secret handshake.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The group made good time walking to the city. It was around mid-day by the time they got there, they didn't have much time to shop before going back to get the guys.
"Ok, let's split up." Ashe was taking charge over the group. Well, someone had to. "Fran, you find decorations. Larsa and Penelo, you two find stockings or something we can use as stockings. Ok?"
The two-some nodded in unison.
"Vaan, you and I will go find a-"
"A tree?" Vaan jump up and down excitedly.
"No, Basch and Balthier are getting the tree. You and I will-"
But before Ashe could finish Vaan cut in again. "But I had a perfect idea."
"Fine, what idea did you have Vaan?"
"I say we catch one of those cactus looking things in the desert and dress it up a tree."
"You mean one of those cactus looking monsters." Ashe said it slowly so he would understand her.
"Yeah, yeah!" He kept jumping, which was causing Ashe to get a little seasick by watching him.
"Fine, Vaan, go catch of those cactus looking things and dress it up, then meet up with all of us at our," She motioned to the rest of the group. "Tree in about four hours, ok?"
"Yup!" He began to run back out into the desert. "You won't be disappointed."
"Oh, I'm sure we will be." Ashe yelled in reply, but loud enough so he could hear her.
She turned back to the rest of the group. "Ok, as I was saying, I'll try to find things for the tree. And while you're shopping for decorations try to find gifts for everyone. Also we will meet back here in a hour and half, kay?"
They all nodded.
And with that everyone ran off his or her separate ways.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Go fish." Basch pick up a card from the pile and frowned. He agreed with Balthier that they should play one quick card game before getting the tree. And after about ten minutes of not agreeing on a game to play, they ended up with Go Fish.
"Do you have any sixes?" Balthier asked.
"No, go fish." Basch said emotionlessly.
"Darn." Balthier reached into the pile. "So, you think we should start looking for a tree, we only have one hour left."
"Fine, but I get to pick."
"As you wish." Balthier cleaned up the cards and the two went into the group of palm trees. "So, which one?"
"That one." He pointed to a pathetic looking tree in the far left corner of the field, it was short and hanging limp to the right side. The leaves had gone brown, and it looked like crap.
"Why that one?"
"Because it's easy to carry." Basch walked over and uprooted the plant with a heave. He flung the tree over his back, so he could carry it easier. "Shall we."
"Let's go."
The two walked back to the campsite.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oooo…" Penelo pointed. "That would make a nice stocking."
Larsa admired the sock she had pointed to. It was red with white strips and said 'daddy's little blitzer' on its cuff.
"That will make a good stocking. Just one question."
"Huh?"
"What's a 'blitzer'?"
"Who knows and who cares? Hey!" She pulled on his arm. "There are more socks over there."
The two picked out what they called, 'the perfect seven stockings', one for everyone.
Fran's was brown and had two puffballs around the top, which kind of looked like two ears. Balthier's was white with an embroidered airship on the cuff. For Vaan they decided to give him the blitzer sock. Basch's stocking was blood red with black spots. When Penelo saw she said, it reminded her of him. Ashe's was pink with a little princess crown on either side of the cuff. For herself, Penelo choose a stocking that was bright sunshine yellow and had one sparkly puffball on the back. And finally Larsa, who was still wearing his little green elf outfit, choose a white sock that simply said, 'Roy' on it.
"Larsa, why 'Roy'?" Penelo asked.
"Well, they didn't have the name 'Larsa' in stock so, I picked the next best thing." He shrugged.
"Oh ok."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"This is beautiful." Fran picked up a fern from the merchants table. "How much?"
"You, my dear, six gil."
"Ok." She handed him the gil and took the fern with her.
She walked the path through the marker slowly, trying to see if anything caught her eye, but nothing did until she saw a particular sign.
AIRSHIP FOR SALE
BEST OFFER
She gasped slightly and smiled. That's perfect for a leading man. She looked at the directions at the bottom and went to the address.
"Hello, I'm here for the ship." She called.
"Ahh…you've come to buy my ship." A short man came out. "Ain't she beautiful."
"Wonderful. It runs, right?"
"Yup, engine is as quiet as a baby."
"Ok, how much?"
"Hmmm…for a pretty lady like you." Fran almost glare, but stopped herself. She didn't want him to raise the price. "Hmmm…4,815,162,342 gil."
"Umm…your flyer said 'best offer', and my best offer is 125gil."
"Sure, that's the best offer all day."
She handed him the money and in return he handed her the keys. "I'll come back later to pick up. I bought it for a friend."
"Oh is that so. A boyfriend?"
"No, just a friend."
"Ok, then, see ya later. Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas…" She left without another word.
The rest of her time we spent finding presents for everyone else. A sword for Basch, a binkey for Larsa, a wide brimmed hat for Ashe and for Vaan and Penelo, she really didn't know what to get them, so, she settled on giving them each 55gil to do whatever with.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ashe walked down the street, through crowds of people as she tried to make her way to the black magic shop. She had previously bought a few knick-knacks for their makeshift tree. A old man's cane, a statue of a scary monkey playing the drums, a piece of the save crystal she had chipped off, just some random stuff that was lying around.
Walking into the store, she noticed the new Christmas decor going on. Holly leaves and pine filled the entire store. This place was really in the Christmas spirit.
"Umm…sir." Ashe asked the clerk. "May I buy some black magic?"
"What kind, sweetheart?" He asked in gruff tone.
"Hmmm…maybe….umm…Fira" Ashe finally said.
"Fira, eh?" The clerk turned. "Here you go." He handed her a small green ball. "Use it well."
"Thank you." She paid and walked.
From in the corner a man dressed in red and white stood watching her. He had hidden himself behind his newspaper and was pretending to read. "So, that's what Larsa is up to. He's helping them with their Christmas party. This must be stopped at once." His eyes followed Ashe out of the store.
"Getting really into the Christmas spirit, aren't you?" The man in red looked down to see a shorter plump man talking to him.
"You could say that. Where is the nearest poison shop?"
"Down the street. Why?"
The man in red pulled out his white beard along with his red hat and put them. He began making his way to the door. "It's time to give our Lady Ashe and friends a Merry Christmas." He whispered to himself as he left.
Ashe had almost everything she needed. The black magic for Fran, some ammo for Balthier, an axe for Basch, a nice shirt for Vaan, who seemed to be lacking one, and a baby book for Larsa, called 'Where did Puppy Go?'.
The only thing she needed now was a hi-potion for Penelo. She strolled into the items shop and paid the 100 gil for the hi-potion.
"Thanks." She crossed Penelo's name off of her list. "Now, to meet everyone." She began making her way back to the place they all had decided to meet earlier.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Larsa looked at the time. "Oh, Penelo, we only have a half an hour left."
"Oh dear, I still don't have anything for Vaan. And you don't have anything at all."
"No, I've got everything."
"Huh?"
"I'm giving everyone Christmas spirit."
"Oh…aww…Larsa." Penelo smiled.
"Well, what do you want to get Vaan?"
"Something nice. I've known him really long time." She put her hand under her chin and began to ponder.
"How about a dinner? Just the two of you." Larsa suggested.
"Yeah, that's perfect. We haven't done anything together in a long time. Yeah, let's do that."
"Here." Larsa pulled some paper and a pen from his pocket. "Well write up a coupon for it."
"There how's that?" He showed it to Penelo. It was written in perfect calligraphy and read:
TO: VANN
ONE DINNER
JUST YOU AND I
FROM: PENELO
"It's perfect. Thanks!" She smiled.
"Come on, Penelo, it's going to take us awhile to get back." Larsa grabbed her arm and pulled her through the crowd.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm going to get you!" Vaan yelled as he chased the cactus monster around the plains.
"I'm going to decorate you and make you all Christmassy. Just you wait." He had been running in circles for nearly an hour now.
"Stop running will ya!"
Some yelling he could tell was very close awaked Balthier. "Basch." He hit Basch to wake him up. "I think someone's either in trouble or Vaan and the others are back."
"Really?" Balthier nodded. "Crap." Basch picked himself up off the ground and brushed himself off.
"Well, let's get up for whatever it is."
"Right." Balthier brushed himself off. "Let's go."
The two headed off to find the noise. Only to find Vaan chasing a cactus.
"Oh my god. What the heck?" Basch started Balthier's and his conversation.
"You want to help or watch?"
"Watch." Basch and Balthier hid in the brush as they watched Vaan run around in circles.
"I'm glad we brought him and Penelo, they surely keep things exciting."
Basch grabbed Balthier's gun and loaded it. "Ummm…ok, Basch what are you doing?"
"Ok, you have one guess, I'm either going to shoot Vaan or the cactus."
They looked at each other and said. "Vaan."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Now, this will kill anyone with just a drop?"
"Yes. And may I ask why you are buying it?" The man behind the counter asked the man in red.
"To get rid of a few little sky rats. That's all." He held the bottle up into the light so he could see it better. The purple liquid glowed green in the light, it was almost beautiful to the man in red.
"Well, then. Have a Merry Christmas." The man behind the counter waved as man in red left.
"Yes, this is going to be a very Merry Christmas…" He said as he stood just outside the poison shop.
"Mommy, mommy! Look it's Santa!" A little boy yelled as he pulled on his mother's hand.
"Jeric, no Santa doesn't come until tonight." His mother began pulling him away.
"But mommy…" Jeric cried as he was pulled away.
"Yes, Santa doesn't come until tonight." The Santa looking man said.
"Look everyone Santa Clause!" The Santa man turned around just to be trampled by a huge group of small children.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Everyone's here." Ashe took a head count just incase. "Well, let's get back to the boys."
The group began their walk back. All in all, it was really peaceful and nice.
Until they reached camp that is.
Vaan was still chasing the cactus, Basch was chasing Vaan with Balthier's gun and Balthier was chasing Basch trying to get his gun back.
"We need to do something." Penelo ran after Balthier.
"Penelo." Larsa called her as he chased after her.
Fran and Ashe looked one another and shrugged. "Do you want to set this stuff up?" Ashe asked.
"Sure."
The two girls began to decorate the tree with the things they had all bought. After finishing the tree, which looked as horrible as it did before, Fran went to hang up the stockings on the rocks nearby.
Ashe pulled out the Dusk Shard. It glowed beautifully in the light of the setting sun. She smiled and placed it on the top of the tree, just as you would a star.
"It looks beautiful." Ashe heard Vaan say from behind her.
"Thanks." She looked down at his hands he held the cactus. "You caught it."
"No, Basch did." He motioned his head towards Basch. "Then Balthier caught him, Penelo caught me, and Larsa caught Penelo."
Ashe looked to the rest of the group, which sat around the fire and looked like they were telling a story. "Basch and Balthier never went shopping."
"They said they had everything already."
"Oh…"
"You want to go over."
"Sure." She nodded and smiled.
The two walked over to the group. They each in one the two gaps left in the circle for them.
"Ok, Larsa, now what do we do?" Ashe asked him.
He cleared his throat and spoke. "We have to tell a Christmas story before going to bed, so that our dreams will be filled with magically fairies, sugar plums and dancing bears."
"Oh ok. Who wants to start?" No one raised a hand.
"Larsa, why don't you start? You are the expert on this Christmas stuff."
"Mmmm…kay." He cleared his throat and began the story. "Once upon a beautiful Christmas… in the North Pole Santa was getting ready for Christmas with all of his elves. Everyone was happy, until the evil Mr. South Pole came to the North Pole."
Everyone gasped. Vaan seemed to holding his breath as Penelo held his hand. Everyone was on the edge of his or her seats wanting to know the rest of the story. Larsa could tell.
"He demanded Santa give up the North Pole, but he said, 'Nay'. Mr. South Pole was very insulted, so he called an all out war on the North Pole.
"This was especially a big damper on Santa because they day the war started was the same day his daughter, Ehsa, married the Easter Bunny's Son, Relsar. And to make matters worse after the word of the war reached Santa, the news of the Easter Bunny's death came as well.
"In grief, Relsar declared he must take a stand for his father. And so he left-"
"Wait a second, Larsa." Penelo cut in. "This sounds very familiar."
"Yeah, it does." Ashe said with a head cock.
"Ummm….that's because it's a classic Christmas story. Now, can I finish my part?"
Everyone nodded.
"Now, Relsar didn't go alone into war he took his loyal bodyguard Hcsab with him. They fought valiantly until the north tower of the toy factory fell. Hcsab told Relsar that they must retreat, but Relsar refused. He needed to take a stand for his father. But as he took the valiant stand, he was shot by a nerf gun to the neck; a fatal wound."
"Ok, seriously this sounds very familiar." Basch cut off Larsa from talking again.
"That's because it's a popular story, ok?" Larsa looked to Basch. "I think it's your time to take over."
"Sure." Basch readied himself for the next part of the story.
"So, Hcsab raced to Relsar and pulled him on his chocabo. He knew he was gone… " Basch paused as if remembering something.
"Basch?" He heard Ashe say.
"Huh?"
"Are you going to finish?"
"Umm…yes. Just thinking." Basch cleared his throat and began again. "So, then, Hcsab took Relsar to his comrades, as he then went to go check on the kin- I mean- Santa. Before he went there he check to find survivors he found some one named Xer. Him and Xer went to go see Santa together. He got to see his twin brother Noah - I mean- Haon- I mean- Gabranth- I mean- Htnarbag killed the kin… Santa and blames Hcsab. Htnarbag also killed Xer that's probably why his brother Naav is so messed up."
He turned to Vaan to see him trying to put his hand in the fire. Penelo was stopping him.
"So Hcsab got arrested by Enyav. Enyav really sucks. I hate that guy."
Larsa glares at him.
"What are you going to do Larsa throw X-potions at me?" Basch said glaring back.
"Anyway Hcsab is now arrested by Enyav who throws me- I mean -Hcsab into the Naughty Dungeon. Where you spend 3 years of his life until a bunny, named Narf, a pirate, named Reihtlab, and an annoying thing, called Naav, came to bust Hcsab out.
"Ok my turns over Ashe you take it from here." Basch said gesture to Ashe to start her part of the story.
"Ok well Umm… ok got it. Well the Princess Ehsa was so upset to hear her husband and father were both killed. The next day they had the funeral for Relsar. It was so sad Ehsa decided she would tell everyone she was died and she could start a new life. And that was exactly what she did.
"My part is over your turn Vaan. Penelo why don't you help Vaan." Ashe only said that because Vaan was now trying to put his whole head into the fire now.
"Ok" Penelo said smiling with joy because for once she felt important.
"Let me start!" Vaan shouted jumping up and down as his hair burned because it was on fire.
Lucky Fran casted water on Vaan head.
"Ok Ok Ok Yo. Well Naav was like chilln' with his homies in town. By the way Balthier taught me some new words. So like Naav was being like like like naughty and stuff and and and…" Vaan past out on the rock he was sitting on.
"Oh…." Basch looked sad.
"What Basch?" Fran asked.
"I wanted to shoot him…" Basch looked down at his feet.
"You still can." Fran said giving him the gun.
"No it only fun when he is awake so he can scream…"
"Can we PLEASE continue!" Larsa said not happy about the interruption during the story.
"I'll continue Larsa." Penelo took a breath and began. "So Naav was getting into trouble with the toy soldiers in town. He was stealing off them. Lucky his amazing friend Olenep was there to make everything good and happy."
"Yay!" Larsa threw his hands in the air with a cheer. "Finally everyone is happy again!"
"Yes, everyone was happy, that was until-"
"Until," Vaan who shot up off the rock and began to act out the rest of the story cut off Penelo. "Naav decided he was going to out smart the popo and break in palace, because the all them palace peeps always seemed to get all up in his grill."
"Yes, he's awake." Basch began to aim the gun.
"Basch, please, at least let him finish." Ashe pushed the barrel of the gun down. "Go on, Vaan."
"So, like, Naav got into the palace and he was all like 'yo, whatz goin' down skillet biskets?'. And everyone else was like 'yo foo you can't get all up in their grillz, they'll kill you foo.' Hey, Balthier how am I doing?"
"Excellent, Vaan keep going."
"Ok." He took a deep breath. "So, Naav was doing his thing and got into the treasure chamber, wherez he was all 'yo dis crazy you know'. And once he grabbed the Sunset Piece, he then noticed that there was this dude just chilln' there with this bunny chick. Hey, Balthier you want to take it from here?"
"Sure, so this really really hot guy, let's call him Reihtlab ran after Naav and told him that he had taken something of his."
"Yes, and Narf, his companion flanked the opposite side as to not let Naav get away." Fran added.
"Right, so, then the guards came to capture the three of them, and being the slick sexy handsome man Reihtlab was he smoothly grabbed Naav and threw him over the edge of the bridge the were standing on."
"Only to be caught by his lovely companion Narf, who was waiting below to catch them."
"But when Naav and Reihtlab fell, Naav had had slippery hands, because he put soap all over them, that almost caused Reihtlab to drop him on to –"
"Ehsa, who was confused below." Ashe chimed in.
"Right, right. So, then the group landed, and –"
"Then they were captured by the evil Enyav and his toy soldiers, even though Naav had promised he'd keep himself out of trouble." Penelo glared at Vaan, who was now bouncing up and down.
"Yes, and then the three were thrown into the Naughty dungeon, the same place as Hcsab." Balthier began once more.
"Where they busted Hcsab out." Basch said.
"And then, Reihtlab got all the hot women in the world. The end." Balthier leaned back.
"Wait, no that's not the ending. Where's all the drama, the love, the romance. Where's the Merry Christmas?" Larsa cried.
"Oh yeah," Balthier lean back up. "Merry Christmas."
"You know, I'm ready for bed." Penelo stood up from her spot. "Night guys. See you in the morning."
"Yeah, best be hitting the hay." Basch stood as well. "Don't want Santa to see you. Eh, Larsa?"
"Right. Early to bed, early to Santa." Larsa made his way over to his bed. As did everyone else. "Night everyone, Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas…"Everyone else replied in unison.
Just as everything quieted down and everyone was asleep in their magically dreamland, as Larsa had called it, the Santa looking man had snuck his way into their camp.
"Muhahaha- I mean- Umm…Ho Ho Ho! They're asleep." He surveyed the group as they laid in a scattered pattern on the ground.
He walked forward and accidentally kicked someone with his foot. Looking down he realized who it was. It was Larsa, still dressed in his elf costume.
"Santa…" Larsa grumbled through his waking grogginess.
"Yes, little boy. Now go back to sleep so I can leave all you good boys and girls toys."
Larsa shot up and stood. "You're not Santa!"
"Santa!" Vaan yelled and jumped up to his feet. Everyone else slowly awoke to the noise and began to get up to see what was happening.
"No, Vaan, that's not Santa. It's Vayne."
"No, that's defiantly Santa." Said Vaan as he examined Vayne/Santa.
"Come on, Vaan, you can't actually believe in Santa." Penelo spoke from behind him. "Remember when we were six and we caught Migelo eating Santa's cookies. You wouldn't speak to him for a week."
"No, no, the blonde boy is right. I'm Santa." Vayne tried to convince them.
"No, he lies, Vaan." Balthier yelled. "I'm Santa." Balthier whipped out a Santa hat and put it on. "See."
"Oh my gosh, why didn't you tell Balthier?" Vaan asked.
"Because Santa a sky pirate, preposterous. I hide my identity from the world."
"Wait, no, Balthier you can't lie that!" Fran shouted from behind. "I'm Santa!"
"Fran, but you're a bunny. And a girl."
"No, Vaan, I'm really Santa." Fran pulled a sac of toys out of thin air and smiled.
"No, Fran lies Vaan!" Ashe yelled and jumped in front of Fran. "I'm Santa."
"But Ashe you're the princess of Rabanastre, not Santa. I would know." Vaan pointed to himself.
"Yes, I am. You see Vayne knew this fact and tried to take it from me."
"Yes, and I succeed." Vayne said with a smirk.
"You know what everyone?" Penelo spoke suddenly. "You're all trying to steal my job. Vaan, " She turned to him. "I'm Santa." She then pulled a white beard out of her pocket and put it on.
"No!" The entire group jumped in fright as a new voice joined their Christmas stand off.
They turned to see Gabranth standing in the distance. As soon as everyone could see him he spun around, throwing his arms down and then up into the sky. All the while a white light engulfed him. His armor seemed to peeling off in strips and then was sent flying into the sky to disappear as soon as they reached a certain height. The group watched in amazement as Gabranth changed from a judge into a plump man in red.
Once the light died down the group watching from below could finally see what he had become. With his rosy red cheeks, plump belly, red coat and hat, and a jolly old smile, everyone new it was their favorite Christmas fellow, Santa.
"Oh my gosh you guys!" Vaan screamed. "It's really him. It's really Santa! Gabranth is Santa!"
Vayne snared and began to advance toward Gabranth.
"Don't worry guys," Larsa started. "I'm a real elf, I'll fix this." He turned to face Vayne's backside. "Use super amazing awesome deliciously groovy Larsa elf powers, now!"
An electric zap hit Vayne square in the back. He fell to the ground.
Once Vayne regained awareness, he stood and turned to see what had hit him. Larsa.
"Yeah, that's right big brother. Your little elf brother kick you bottom."
"Yeah, you just got pwned by Larsa." Vaan added. They high fived one another.
Vayne grinded his teeth together. "Don't worry." Vayne reached into his pocket and pulled out the bottle of purple poison. "Here catch." He threw it at the group.
"Are you being sarcastic or do you really want us to catch it?" Vaan asked.
"Super crazy special awesomely weird check if this is poison Larsa elf power, now!" Larsa yelled and used his power to check if it was a trap. "Yup it's poison. Don't touch it guys."
"Kay." Penelo said with a smile.
Gabranth cried out. "Oh no! Vayne is attacking Santa!" Penelo pointed to the two fighting.
"Not if I have anything to do with it." And with that Basch ran over and attacked Vayne from behind.
"Basch has got a good idea." Balthier followed Basch in suit, as did Fran and Ashe.
"Why don't we go help Vaan, Larsa?" Penelo smiled and grabbed their hands and pulled them behind the rest of the group.
Basch and Gabranth were holding off Vayne quite well on their own. Vayne was already faltering by the time Balthier, Fran and Ashe got there. The three just jumped right into the brawl with the other two. They needed to save Santa, they needed to save Christmas.
Vaan and Penelo ran over and began throwing whatever items they had. Luckily they had a lot to throw since they had a total of 99 knots of rust. And everyone knew, knot of rust equals awesome. And so they threw and threw.
Balthier, having finally gotten back his gun from Basch, pulled it out and fired it at Vayne, he fell at once. Fran took that as a cue to fire off some black magic, all the while Ashe kept using her white magic to heal and protect.
That's when it happened. The sky turned into a holy radiant light, everyone froze and watched. The light moved downward and finally touch ground in the distance. And then, they saw it. Larsa came down from the heavens and advanced towards Vayne, candy cane in hand, with a sharp point at the end.
"Super amazing crazy awesome sweet delicious candy cane Larsa elf powers activate, now!" And with that said, Larsa rammed the candy cane right through Vayne, and he fell to the ground in a puddle of melted lollypop blood.
As soon as the dust cleared and everyone could see what had happened, they noticed Larsa had fallen to his knees. He was breathing deeply, seemed to be trying to keep conciseness as he panted.
"Larsa!" Penelo yelled from across the battlefield.
"I'm fine, I just-" He was cutoff by his own body causing him to fall flat on his stomach on the ground.
"Larsa!" Penelo ran to him. She gingerly turned him over, so his face was facing hers.
"Penelo, I…"
"You've been a good elf." Gabranth/Santa said. "Loyal, kind, loving, everything a elf needs to be."
"Wait a sec." Vaan started shocked. "You're really an elf!"
"Yes, it's always been a family secret. I'm not even really a Solidor, my father told me he found me on his doorstep one Christmas Eve. And he said, I had no identification so he called me 'Larsa'."
"Oh, does 'Larsa' have a Christmas meaning?" Penelo asked
"No, he just decided to name that." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Santa. I shouldn't have stayed here."
"No, no you've done everything so well. I will miss you, Peanuts. I mean, Larsa." He smiled.
"Thanks, Gabran- I mean- Santa." Larsa/Peanuts smiled.
"Oh look." Ashe pointed. "The sun is coming up. It's Christmas morning."
"Before I leave, Penelo, remember my gift to all of you?"
"Yes, Christmas spirit. Why do you ask?"
"Well, did you all get your Christmas spirit?" The entire rest of the group nodded. "Then my work here is done." And without another word, Larsa/Peanuts closed his eyes. Peanuts was dead.
"Larsa-I mean- Peanuts…" Penelo wept openly over top of his dead body.
"No, do not weep for Peanuts served I and Christmas in general better than any elf before him. He would not want you to weep, but to rejoice for today is Christmas and we must celebrate!" Santa said. "But first let me change."
Santa spun around as before and his judge amour returned and once again he looked like Gabranth.
"Now, for Peanuts- I mean- Larsa, let's have a Christmas to remember!"
"Yay!" The rest of the group replied. Well, except for Basch who thought it was unmanly to say 'yay'.
The group picked up Larsa's body and moved it over by the Christmas palm tree. Then one by one they all began to distribute their presents to the rest of the group.
That was when Balthier and Basch revealed their presents; Basch gave everyone a coupon good for killing one monster. While Balthier gave Ashe an autographed picture of himself, Fran a carrot with a ring attached, Basch a gun, so he wouldn't have to steal his, Vaan he brought out rope to tie him up with, but failed to do so, and finally Penelo a gambit, one to attack Vaan only.
"Oh and I bought Larsa blocks, but seeing how…" Balthier's thoughts trailed off.
"Yeah, I bought him a baby book." Ashe spoke up after being really quiet for a long while.
"I bought him a binkey." Fran said.
"I got everyone a hug!" Vaan yelled. Just that comment made everyone wince.
"I had gotten Larsa a bib with a duck on it. He always liked ducks…"Penelo's voice was filled with sadness.
"I got him the same thing I got all of you." Basch said. "That's because I didn't really care."
"Hey, don't get all gloomily." Gabranth started. "It's Christmas!"
"I surprised you even know what Christmas is." Basch turned to Gabranth. "Ever since we were kids you always said you were Jewish. I always thought that's when we became so different."
"I only said that to keep the kids off of me and my secret."
"Oh."
Penelo couldn't focus anymore, she missed him so bad, and looking over at his body she almost wanted to cry. That's when she noticed his left ring finger; it was twitching ever so slightly.
"Guys!"
"Huh?" Everyone turned on cue.
"His finger is twitching." Penelo ran to him. "Larsa?"
"Hey, Penelo…"
"Larsa!" She screamed and hugged him tightly.
"Oh my goodness." Ashe moved her hand to her heart. "It's a-"
Gabranth cut her off. "It's a Christmas miracle."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Note: Wow, that was long. Hey, I hid the Lost numbers in this story, see if you can find them.
I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and thank Amy for the awesome interpretive reading of this story.
Merry Christmas :D