A/N: this story had been on my mind for a while; after I re-played BC1, I got an idea. To get the gist of what I was thinking, basically, I took my FFE mentalltity (word) and mixed that with the shit that we loved about BC1 (golf cart VS. tank….who will win?)(golf cart). Then mix my favorite writing topic of ponies with it, add a dose of favorite characters, and a possible resurrection of Flynn, and you have my new story:

Also, this takes place near the end of BC2.

Battlefield: bad company 3

Operation: equestria

By: Michael Blackburn

Plot: the time draws near as kirlenko prepares to fire the scalar weapon, and bring America to it's knees so Russia can invade….but the boys of bad company think otherwise.

How does this relate to ponies?

You will see soon enough.

Chapter 1: Airborne

"your too late…we are almost at zero point!" kirlenko growled

Retford walked up to the glass and said "I don't think so" he turned to hags and Marlowe then said "do it."

Kirlenko had a horrified look and said "what…what are you doing!" as haggard walked up to the window, and stuck 2 bricks of C-4 to it, then stepped back and said "it's showtime!"

Marlowe pulled his pistol out, and watched as the window exploded; sweetwater yelled "take the shot Marlowe!"

He aimed down his MP-443's sights and fired several shots into the heart of the monstrous machine causing it to explode with earth-shattering force.

A side of the plane got shredded off as the machine exploded; Marlowe couldn't hear what the other guys were saying as he yelled "where's kirlenko!"

Sweetwater shrugged as began to drag a parachute over to him; in the corner of marlowe's sight, he saw kirlenko lunge out and tackle sweets out the plane, trying to get the extra parachute out of his hands; Marlowe leaped out after them, ready to kill him.

It all went by in a flash to him, free-falling, firing his pistol, watching the villains limp body drift away, and him getting the parachute and drifting to the ground.

As he took his parachute off, haggard finished looking at a roadsign and exclaimed "WERE IN TEXAS! HOME SWEET HOME!"

Sarge smiled and answered a question sweets asked; he didn't hear the first half, but saw sarge point at him and say "…I don't know sweets, but you should ask Marlowe over there….thanks to him, I'm now retired!"

The guys smiled and laughed while haggard began talking about places they should go celebrate; just as they were about to head down the road, a U.S army humvee drove up, and retford barked "SQAUD: ATTENTION!"

As general Bradford finished telling the squad that the Russians were invading, haggard stepped forward and said "uh, sir? We just blew up that ultimate weapon of theirs…P.S, invasion canceled!"

The general gave them a grave look and said "they aren't invading here…..there coming in through Alaska!"

( 2 days later…..)

Sweetwater glared at haggard as they got off the humvee and said "oh….we just blew up there superweapon! Invasion canceled! BULLSHIT HAGGARD!" sarge was staring at the ground unhappily and said "I think the good lord is trying to tell me that I can never retire I my lifetime..Christ I hope someone kills me and my wife gives me my car back….hell, learning how to finally work PowerPoint would be nice too."

Marlowe was deeply depressed; time after time, the guys in bad company kept getting in to things they never wanted to do; first hags' invaded a neutral country single-handedly, then it was Sweetwater discovering a SAD agent…what next? Talking ponies?

He got out and stood at attention as general Bradford appeared and said "at easy gentlemen; as you may now notice, you are in Canada. We are setting up a FOB and preparing to attack the Russians with our delta teams…you guys will go in before the delta teams and clear the way for them. Dismissed gentlemen."

Sarge looked down and yelled "FUCK! Those shitbirds at high-com DID IT AGAIN!" haggard nodded and said "well…we went from suicide squad to soldiers and then back to suicide squad…what could possibly make this anymore nostalgic?"

General Bradford stopped walking, turned around and said "oh, and before I forget boys, someone said they wanted to join you on your attack, as your source of Intel as well as marksman ship. You may remember her; Captain Janet wooding….to you boys, mike-one-Juliet."

Sweets' dropped his M-60 and said, with a waver in his voice "miss jul-I mean, the radio person is here?"

The rest of the squad rolled their eyes and chuckled; haggard walked up to the general and said "what he means is the only girl who ever semi-willingly talked to him actually came to visit us?"

A familiar voice behind them said "yes boys….except, I am here to ORDER you."

As the general left, the squad turned around to see a blond in a ACU, with 2 silver bars on the collar; the squad perked, and Marlowe asked the question in everyone's mind "where have you been? And how was that gold you got?" she smiled and said "I bought plenty of things I can't mention because sweet's may pass out for reasons. Haggard chuckled and muttered a "69" joke as Sweetwater began to blush for looking so….sweetwaterish.

She continued and said "well, after I had my fun, I went back to work with the SAD units where I was trained to be a sniper with an M-95, as well as adviser who could get need-to-know Intel in the field. After I heard about your stopping of the scalar weapon over texas in a report, I had to join you boys in another mission that suited your talents."

Sarge began crying as he said "I just want to retire….please at least ignore me as I go AWOL…" haggard patted and said "there there sarge; at least we saw your home country Africa and fought the cowboy militia there." Sweetwater began yelling and said "IT WAS SOUTH AMERICA YOU DUMBASS! YOU KNOW, WHERE WE ARGUED ABOUT THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE PREDATOR!"

Haggs gave him a look, chuckled and said "Billy still was a bitch."

The captain looked at Marlowe and said "are they like this all the time?" he nodded and said "yeah…I don't notice much wrong with them though, maybe they made me crazy, captain" she looked at him and said "you guys just call me "July"…I hate having my squads call me by rank, and I remember sweets always called me "miss July".

Marlowe nodded and said "sure thing…July…well, since we're talking right now, what's this mission we have to be sent on that seems suicidal?" she waved him over to a tent with a battle map and said "about 20 miles into there rear flank is a site our spy planes have spotted; it looks like some weapon of a type we haven't seen. The reason I asked to have you boys get put in my control is because you have taken out a Russian superweapon, and that you boys get things done." She looked out the window, noting sarge cussing out haggard about "how he was so American, but haggard wouldn't know unless he slapped some apple pie in his hillbilly face"

She looked back at Marlowe and said "the only reason I still have faith in you is because you actually got the gold" he gave her a shocked look, but quickly changed it as she smiled and said "just kidding…I love you guys, despite everything else."

She stepped outside to break up the fight sarge started, and give them there orders she had just told him. Frankly, Marlowe had a feeling this mission, planned by a person he trusted (she had risked her job a while back to make sure he could save his squad) and being carried out, would be easy.

Then they could all go to Texas, where Sweetwater would keep hitting on July, haggard would get drunk, sarge would learn how to use a computer; and I would enjoy life.

He picked up an XM8 from the table next to him and stepped outside; it was time to get back to work.

A/N: yay! Mike-one-juliet is back! Her name, janet wooding, is a slight reformation of the name of the chick who voices her (Jennifer woodward). Also, this story is the expression of my hope of a BC3 that I hope will be as funny as BC1.

Review my brethren, and I hope you will continue reading.