Legal: I own nothing but the idea.

Welcome to my new story which is going to have a little of everything. In the coming weeks this story will have drama, angst, fluff, smut, suspense and humor. Just about everyone from Next Generation through current DeGrassi will make an appearance at some point and many of them are main characters.

Okay this is one of those where I mess with the families so please pay attention:

The Mason family consists of oldest brother Spinner, second oldest Drew and twins Adam and Clare.

The Fitzgerald family consists of Mama Fitzgerald, older brother Sean (Cameron on the show Fitzgerald in this story) and younger brother Mark "Fitz" Fitzgerald.

The Guthrie family consists of Lisa Guthrie (Mom), K.C. and his younger sister Maya (Matlin in the show and Guthrie in this story).

The Milligan family remains the same though.

The Torres parents, Helen, Randall and Darcy Edwards, Katie Matlin and Tracker Cameron don't exist in this reality.

Maya and Tristan are only a year behind Clare and Adam not two years and Zig is in the same grade as Clare and Adam.

FYI Biff Tannen is the bully from Back to the Future and Johnny Strabler is the main character in The Wild One.

That should do it the rest is told in the story so please read and enjoy!

Ch. 1 Disappear like Smoke into the Clouds

(CLARE)

I can't sleep.

The night is hot and the air conditioner is busted again. The very small breeze blowing into my fully open window isn't helping at all. Then again even if the night wasn't so hot and muggy I wouldn't be able to sleep. It's not really the weather it's the day and as it's after midnight it's today. The fact that I feel like I can't breathe has nothing to do with the weather. That my eyes are swollen with tears and my heart thumps slow and deep in my chest has nothing to do with the hot night air.

I decide to give up on sleeping, it's not going to happen and I don't want to lie in my bed looking at the ceiling any longer. I get up and throw on a pair of black shorts, a bra and a t-shirt with flats. If I try to go out the front Spin will wake up and my eldest brother will not let me out so late. He'll bring me to his room or the living room and tell me to talk but I don't want to talk. So I take the screen off my window and sneak out, replacing the screen so I don't come home to a room full of bugs. I walk down the street, half the street lights on our street are fading or out but I'm not scared this is my neighborhood. I wander the streets, past the school and The Dot and Little Miss Steaks. I'm not paying all that much attention to where I'm going I'm just looking at the stars and trying to think of anything but what day it is.

"Clare!" A voice snaps at me and I jump looking at the source.

Jay Hogart is giving me a harsh look that's angry, surprised and protective. Tall and lean with dark hair and darker eyes, a boyish yet rugged face and muscular build. He's dark with a bad temperament and constantly in trouble; he was expelled from DeGrassi after his thirteenth suspension. Part Biff Tannen and part Johnny Strabler he's the kind of boy father's would do anything to keep their daughters from and he's one of my closest friends.

"Hi," I reply.

Jay's not alone, he's with his best friend Sean, the two often get into trouble together. They both went to school with my oldest brother Spinner and the three grew up together. They remained close even after Spin and Sean graduated and like everyone else we grew up with are at our house a lot. Jay is 21 while Sean and Spinner are 20. Sean and Jay are similar in personality but entirely opposite in looks. Sean is shorter, even more muscular than Jay but with dark blonde to honey brown hair and blue eyes. His chiseled good looks betray his boyish face until he smiles and all his boyish charm breaks down his touch guy façade. Much like Jay he got into a lot of trouble too but he managed to not get expelled. Like my brothers Sean played a lot of sports which I think helped to keep him out of major trouble unlike Jay who played no sports, it did not however save Sean from getting the rep of a no good juvenile delinquent. Despite the reputation he carries Sean Fitzgerald is one of the sweetest guys I know, and I know a lot of guys.

"Hi? What the hell are you doing wandering around at night by yourself?" Jay demands.

"I couldn't sleep," I respond.

"Alright I'm taking you home," Jay says.

"No I'm not a child I can handle myself," I shoot back crossing my arms.

"And if Spin found out you were wandering by yourself he'd go nuts," Sean says. Jay doesn't even answer he just leans down and tosses me over his shoulder barbarian style.

"Jay put me down!" I demand hitting his back but it does no good. "Ughhh put me down," I shriek again but Jay ignores me.

He and Sean begin walking back toward my house; I hit his back for another minute but give up. We walk about a block before I hear another familiar voice approaching.

"Find some action boys?" Owen jokes.

Owen Milligan has dark hair and dark blue eyes and he's just half an inch shorter than Jay. Owen puts Michelangelo's David to shame; his sculpted body would make even the most chaste of women drool. A body he works hard on, weight training, playing football and hockey among other things, not that all that physical activity has managed to keep him out of trouble. He got into a lot of it, actually he still does. Owen is 16 and will be in eleventh grade this year with my second oldest brother Drew. Owen, in my opinion anyway, is the James Dean for the new millennium. Hard on the outside, a bit of a loner, so good looking he almost doesn't seem real, misunderstood and yet sensitive, protective and sweet if you know him and you're in his circle, which I am as he's one of Drew's best friends.

"Owen tell them to put me down," I complain.

"Clare?" Owen says surprised and Jay puts me down.

"I couldn't sleep I went for a walk and they insisted on taking me home. Tell them I can handle myself," I assert.

"I don't doubt that but you won't be able to get away if more than one person comes after you. Or one guy with a weapon, there are all kinds of creeps out there," Jay comments.

"I'll take her home," Owen offers.

"I don't need a baby sitter," I argue.

"Well you can't be randomly wandering alone at night it isn't safe. You know Spin would never allow it," Owen points out.

"We're taking you home if I have to pick up again and carry you the whole way," Jay tells me.

"What's going on?" Fitz asks walking over to us.

Mark Fitzgerald is Sean's younger brother and everyone is made to call him Fitz, even his mom. With chestnut brown hair and deep brown eyes, his innocently freckled and boyish face are deceptive. Their dad took off when Sean was five and Fitz was one and then their Mom began drinking and hasn't stopped. When she is conscious enough to speak or move she's usually abusive toward her sons despite the fact that they keep living with her to take care of her. Children's Aid has stepped in a few times, removing the boys or sending their mom to rehab but she always gets them to come back and support her. Sean works in the same garage as Jay but Fitz is in high school still, he'll be in grade eleven this year with my brother Drew.

Fitz has the public exterior of the intense loner, juvenile delinquent bully who is bad because he can be and will take anything not nailed down. At least that's most people's perceptions of him but it's not true. It is true that he steals a lot but it's usually things for his mom or things they need to get by he doesn't steal for fun. He takes after his older brother and the bully in him comes from a deep protective streak, taking care of the ones he cares about at the cost of the others sometimes. He would have been expelled or dropped out a long time ago but every time he gets arrested and sentenced to any time he's sent to Toronto Juvenile Correctional School, it's juvenile hall but it's also a high school so he can keep up with classes.

Fitz is actually probably one of the most complex people I know, a little like Jekyll and Hyde I suppose. If you know him then he's really a sweet, caring, protective boy with deceptive school boy charm and yet a dark handsomeness as if he stepped from the pages of a vampire romance novel. He does poorly in school, hates all his classes and if Sean didn't make him go I'm pretty sure he'd spend his days at the ravine or the garage where Jay and Sean work. Despite the fact that he barely passes all his classes he loves to read poetry and classic novels. His deep introspective thoughts, when he allows other people to hear them, are very intelligent and you wonder if there isn't a genius buried behind his chocolate brown eyes. He'd never hurt someone he cares about and in fact would give his life to save you.

"Take your girlfriend home will you," Sean teases.

"I'm not his girlfriend!"

"She's not my girlfriend."

Our mutual arguments overlap each other and I cross my arms. Fitz and I aren't dating, we've never even been on a single date together but he is part of our circle, gang I suppose you could call it, and therefore not terrified to come near me like the other boys. When we're out doing things together Fitz and I almost always end up sitting together or being together. I've known him forever; he was in kindergarten with my brother Drew and Sean was in class with Spinner. We're so comfortable together I think nothing of his arm being around my shoulders or sitting in his lap when there's nowhere to sit, but of course it's why most people assume we are a couple and we get teased about it by the others.

"Just get her home so she's not out wandering the streets alone in the dark. If Spin finds out he'll have our heads so get her home," Owen commands.

"I'll take care of her," Fitz replies putting his arm around my shoulders.

I keep my arms crossed, I hate getting treated like a child I'm nearly sixteen and they all treat me like I'm ten or something. I keep a miffed expression until we're down the street from Owen, Jay and Sean then I stop and turn to Fitz.

"I don't want to go home; I can't be there Fitz not tonight. I can't sleep and I don't want to be there, you can stay with me. Take me to the ravine, take me anywhere but I can't be home not tonight," I tell him in a resolute tone.

"Alright come on," he says and we walk back toward the school.

We do go to the ravine there's no kids here, unless there's some sleeping in the van but there are none that I see. Fitz stokes up the campfire and we sit in the backseat. It's the backseat from a car someone long ago ripped out to make seating at the ravine. I sit there gazing at the fire, watching it dance and crackle, glow red, yellow, orange and blue. I just sort of space out on the fire as my mind dances through a lifetime of memories and I start crying without even realizing it, tears running down my cheeks and dropping to my chest.

"It's getting near dawn I should get your home," Fitz comments and I notice the sky beginning to lighten. I stand wiping the tears from my face and we walk the couple of blocks back to my house, going around the side and taking the screen from my window to sneak in. "I'll be back in a couple of hours," Fitz tells me after helping me climb in.

"You might as well stay here if you'll be back in a couple hours anyway. Besides no one else is awake and I don't want to wake them yet. I don't want to wake them at all," I admit biting my lip and biting back the tears that are trying to come.

Fitz climbs through my window and hugs me tightly, "You don't have to wake them up and I'll stay with you."

We sit on my bed now, the tears flowing free and I can't stop them. Fitz puts his arm around me and rubs my back lightly as I sob. The hollowness of the day, the part that's missing, that's been missing for a year becomes overwhelming. When I hear a door open and movement in the rest of the house I wipe my tears and get up slowly. I leave my room with Fitz following me, we leave my room as Adam leaves his, he cocks an eyebrow at the fact that I leave my room at dawn with Fitz but he says nothing.

"We'll get through today together," Adam says hugging me tightly.

Adam and I are fraternal twins; he's six minutes and thirty three seconds older than I am. A fact he likes to remind me of any time we argue. I almost didn't make it into this world, our mom died giving birth to Adam and I had to be delivered by C-section. I don't know all the details because all father ever told us was that she died to bring us into the world.

Adam is my twin and we are as close as two people can be but I didn't start out as the only girl in this family. Adam started life as Gracie, he was born a girl but he never was a girl. My twin is transgender; he's always acted and dressed like a boy so when he told us six years ago that he was a boy and we should call him Adam no one was surprised. Aside from being a boy Adam and I are very much alike. We both love writing and reading, we like the same music, we both get straight A's and take advanced classes. Adam loves comics and playing music while I prefer dancing and don't really like comics. And like my other brothers Adam likes to play sports. We both have round faces with light brown hair and blue eyes although mine are lighter than his. If he's been out in the sun a lot he gets freckles on his nose and I just get tan, or burn. He's also more slender and taller than I am but I'm closer to Adam than anyone on this earth.

"Hey sis," Drew says coming over and hugging Adam and I tightly before looking at Fitz. "Morning Fitz you're here early," Drew comments.

"He was with me," I inform him.

"All night?"

"Most of it," Fitz replies.

"As long as you were in good hands," Drew replies.

Drew is thirteen months older than me and Adam, the only one in our family to get Mom's olive skin and dark hair but he does have blue eyes. Tall with a sturdy build and muscles shaped by years of playing quarterback on the football team and point guard on the basketball team, in looks he's practically flawless. Although he has the most boyish grin of anyone I've ever seen, when he grins he looks so much younger than his true age of nearly seventeen. When he's not smiling he has a sexy, swarthy gaze that make girls fall in love, but my brother is taken. He's been dating the same girl for three years and they are very much in love.

Drew struggles in his academic classes but he excels in other classes and anything physical. He's not book smart but he is smart in other ways, he's also one of the most caring and nurturing guys I know, deeply loyal, sweet and protective particularly of Adam and I, and of course his girlfriend Bianca.

"Anyone hungry? When did you get here Fitz?" Spinner asks coming into the hallway from the kitchen.

"He spent the night in Clare's room," Adam tells him as Drew releases us from the hug.

"Oh, anyone hungry?" Spinner repeats and we all shake our heads.

"Not today, I couldn't even sleep I was afraid…" my sentence trails off as it becomes choked by tears.

A year ago today at almost this exact time I awoke to a beautiful summer day. Like most days, when Spinner didn't have to open, I went in to wake our dad for work. He didn't stir when I opened the door, or when I shook him, when I pulled the blanket back he was cold. Our dad, the only parent we ever had, was dead in his bed. I screamed and collapsed on the floor in tears, Drew and Adam came running in and saw that he was dead. Drew called 911 while Adam called Spinner. Our older brother still lived here but he had a small apartment of his own at the time. We found out later that day that Dad had died of a brain aneurism, it was sudden and took him in his sleep, he didn't suffer but it gave us no comfort. Our world came crashing down that day, our mother died so long ago and we were all so young only Spinner had a few memories of her. Now our father was dead too, we weren't alone because we had all our friend but we felt very alone. Spinner was granted custody of us and he moved back in. His job as manager of The Dot did not support a family of four including three teenagers so Drew works part time at a cell phone kiosk in the mall. We do okay but it's been a year since we lost dad and the closer it got to the anniversary the harder it got for all of us. Spinner is a good brother, he works really hard to take care of us but he's not our dad and he has no idea how to raise three teenagers and especially not a girl. Not that dad had any idea how to raise a girl either.

My oldest brother, whose given name is actually Gavin, is stout and was chubby when he was younger but after years of soccer and football lost the weight and became lean and muscular, he's slightly shorter than Drew by half an inch. Spin has our mom's brown eyes but got his hair color from our dad. Like Drew Spin was never very good in school and he struggled but he did graduate. He's athletic, kind, generous, sweet, loyal and the hardest working person I know besides our father. While still a child himself he took on the enormous task of raising us and I will always admire him for that, even if he has no clue what he's doing.

While I can no longer speak because I'm crying too hard my brothers hug me tightly. When I hear the doorbell ring I swallow the rest of my tears and wipe my face. Fitz goes to answer the door while we stay in the hallway embracing for a moment.

"Calvary is here, come on you all need to get out," Bianca calls walking in followed by the rest of the gang. People we've grown up with and they've become like family. Bianca comes to Drew and kisses her boyfriend before hugging me.

Bianca is my closest girlfriend, tall and slight with dark raven curls and brown eyes, she has a sort of fae or sprite quality to her, like a nymph plucked from Greek mythology. She has a fiery personality and isn't afraid to be honest, something most people do not like but it's a quality I admire in her. She speaks her mind and has an inner strength that's kept her going even after everything she's been through.

Her unwed mother abandoned Bianca at her aunt's house when Bianca was only six; she hasn't seen her mother since. Bianca's aunt does little more than provide a roof over Bianca's head. Her aunt works at a bar and brings home a new guy virtually every night and unless Bianca is directly in her way her aunt ignores her all together. Not just that she leaves Bianca on her own she actually won't look at her, talk to her or acknowledge her in any way. So Bianca seeks attention elsewhere and she's gotten in a fair bit of trouble because of it.

When Bianca was twelve she was attacked by two guys intent on raping her, she screamed and fought and thankfully she was near the ravine. Fitz, Owen and Jay heard her screams and went running, they found her and fought the guys. Fitz spent the next six months at the correctional school for stabbing one of the guys. Bianca meanwhile spent the next few weeks at our place and she and Drew began dating. Then two years ago Bianca was raped by one of the men her aunt brought home. Her aunt was passed out drunk at the time and told the police Bianca was making it up. It didn't matter there was evidence from the rape kit the guy confessed and was sentenced to two years. Bianca was removed and put in a group home but after six months she placed back with her aunt who was considered fit again. In spite of it all Bianca nearly always has a chipper attitude and smile on her face, she's very smart and excels in school, she loves dancing and she stands up for her friends.

"I can't believe it's been a year already," K.C. comments walking in with Maya.

"Not at all," Maya shakes her head coming over and hugging Adam before giving him a soft kiss.

K.C. Guthrie is tall and lanky with honey brown hair and hazel green eyes. He's 15 like me and Adam, on the basketball team with Drew and his best friend. K.C. is very bright, likes to skateboard and was my first ever boyfriend, for about five minutes. He's a good guy and a good friend. Maya Guthrie is his younger sister, also tall and lanky she has blonde hair and blue eyes. Maya will be in grade nine this year but she's only nine months younger than Adam and I. Maya grew up with us, she's always shared a love of music with Adam and at the beginning of summer she and Adam began dating. K.C. and Maya's dad is doing ten years for making and distributing drugs. Their mom Lisa is very nice and a good mom but she works all the time just to support her kids, so she's almost never around and when she is she's very tired so they're pretty much left to take care of themselves day to day. K.C. works at Little Miss Steaks to help out but he only works part time as a dishwasher.

"Come on we're all going out you're not staying inside all day, let's go sit on the beach of something," Owen insists coming in with his younger brother Tris.

Tristan is Maya's best friend, he's got reddish brown hair when he's not dying it platinum blonde. The only characteristic Tris shares with Owen is their deep blue eyes. Tris is tall and lanky, he has a slight build and doesn't play sports, Tris prefers the theatre. Tristan has been openly gay since he first realized it, something we all accepted and supported but not everyone does. Tris is often picked on and has been teased and even beaten up before. Owen is fiercely protective of all his friends he is especially protective of Tristan and anyone that messes with Tristan has to face the wrath of Owen and the rest of us but particularly Owen.

"Let's go to the beach," Adam speaks for both of us because I can't seem to speak still.

"Paige is taking the day off I'll tell her to meet us at the beach," Spinner says. Paige is Spinner's longtime girlfriend; they've dated on and off since grade ten. They've been solid for the last couple of years, ever since Paige returned from Banting. She went there after graduating DeGrassi but after a panic attack she decided the stress was too much and came back. Paige has had her share of problems including being raped when she was fourteen. Voluptuous, with long honey blonde hair and green bedroom eyes she's quite striking. She's been the closest thing I had to a mother; she's very nice to us and really loves Spinner. I'm sure if he didn't have the three of us to take care of he'd have asked her to marry him by now.

We grab our stuff and pile into a couple of cars then head to the beach. We all take off our shoes and sit in the sand together watching the waves. Spinner and Adam sit on either side of me, Drew next to Adam and we're all remembering Dad in our own way. Everyone else is here for our support, to help us mourn and remember and keep us from breaking down. Paige joins us on the beach and we stay there for hours, occasionally one of us will share a story about Dad but aside from that we sit in silence. When other people start to get hungry we go to Swiss Chalet but my brother's and I don't eat. After Dad died I didn't eat for two weeks, I lost a bunch of weight but eventually I was forced to eat. I won't stop eating again but I don't feel like eating today. We stay together all day, everyone stays at our house very late but eventually most of them have to get home. By two in the morning the only people left at our house, who don't live here, are Bianca and Paige. Spinner and Paige go to bed first, then Drew and Bianca, now it's just me and Adam.

"I miss him Adam," I almost whisper as I lay my head on my twin's shoulder.

"I know I miss him too."

"I didn't sleep at all last night, I kept thinking that I'd wake up and find you dead, or Drew or Spinner dead in your bed like I found Dad."

"We're not going anywhere Clare," Adam assures me.

"That's exactly what Dad used to say."

(BIANCA)

The Saturday afternoon heat kept me from venturing out, especially since Drew was working tonight. So I was watching TV until my auntie came home sucking face with some guy. He doesn't say anything but I know by the look in his eye what he's thinking. He's thinking that as soon as he's done with her he's going to try me. That's only ever happened once and I'll kill someone if they ever try again. As soon as they're in Auntie's room I grab my purse and go down to my car, but it won't start I'll have to ask Jay and Sean to fix it again. So I walk to Drew's house, it's less than a block away anyway. He might be at work but I'm sure someone will be home, even if they aren't I know where the spare key is and they never mind when I'm at the house. I don't see any of the cars but I see lights on so I knock and Clare answers.

"Hey Bianca," she says with a sad smile. The anniversary of her father's death had her depressed, for good reason. She barely spoke and didn't eat on Thursday, the anniversary of her father's death. Yesterday she ate a little and spoke a little more but the normally sarcastic, witty and cheerful girl was sallow and sad. It tore my heart to see her this way, she is one of the best people I know and to see her so forlorn and lost was honestly quite depressing.

"Hey Doll how you feeling?" I question hugging her and stepping in.

"Better," she says although she doesn't particularly sound it.

"Is everyone gone?" I question.

"Drew and Spin are working and Adam's out with Maya," she tells me.

"Well let's go out and do something, a movie or Above the Dot," I suggest.

"How about a party, there must be one," Clare says perking up a little but she has slight tone in her voice I can't quite place.

"Okay a party," I nod since honestly I could use a party myself.

Clare is already dressed in a black denim skirt and red t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder and shows her black bra strap. Clare is quite short at five foot two but she has curves most girls would kill for, and her brothers wish she didn't have. On top of her generous chest attracting her a fair amount of attention in the last few years she's begun dressing to show her body. Not slutty by any means but complimentary to her curves and hinting at more, like her loose shirt that slips off her shoulder. The other thing that draws boys in like flies to an open sugar bowl is her ethereal blue eyes, they're so intensely luminous and sparkling it's if God took two shining gems and made them Clare's eyes.

The reason she's only ever had one real boyfriend, who she only dated for a month and is Drew's best friend, is because she's the baby in a family of three boys and she's the only girl. They're all quite protective of each other having lost their mother and now their father, but as she's the baby and the only girl her brothers are more protective of her. Because everyone we hang out with has grown up with Spinner and Drew, they've all just adopted that same protectiveness when it comes to her. After I was attacked near the ravine they became even more protective. Also Jay, Owen, Sean and the other boys went around threatening every guy at the school to never lay a hand on any of us girls. No one at DeGrassi really knew Maya yet so it didn't bother her, and I began dating Drew so it didn't bother me. It did bother Clare though, but as we're always hanging out in one group anyway it's not like many guys had the nerve to approach her anyway. And those that did usually presumed she's with Fitz because that's what it looks like if you don't know any better.

After walking a few blocks we find a party, we're still in Riverdale and I recognize some of the people here but I have no idea whose party this is. I text Drew telling him where we are since he'll be off in an hour or so and he can come join us as soon as he's off. Clare and I walk in with our arms linked and straight to the kitchen counter where all the liquor is set up. I make a rum in coke while Clare just takes a wine cooler. We sip our drinks and walk through the party a bit mingling a little and getting eyed by a lot of guys but most don't approach.

"I love this song let's dance," Clare exclaims downing the rest of her drink and I put mine down.

We dance to the song and then go stand near the back door since it's warm inside. Clare's leaning in the doorway and fanning herself while I'm watching a guy dance really horribly but thinks he's fantastic because he's drunk, and I don't notice Clare take the jell-o shot before I can stop her.

"Yumm those are awesome," Clare says until the alcohol hits her, "yech those are gross. Whoo and full of alcohol."

"That's the idea, what's your name?" Asks the guy who gave her the shot.

"Clare Mason," she responds.

"Mason like Drew Mason?" He questions.

"Yeah he's my boyfriend and her older brother," I inform him with a bit of a glare.

"I was on the football team with Drew when I was at DeGrassi last year," he comments.

"Really and what do you do now?" Clare asks wavering as she feels the effects of the vodka.

"I'll be going to York in a couple of weeks," he responds.

"Ooh a college boy huh?" Clare grins and I know that inflection in her voice. She's in a reckless mood and that's bad. It means she doesn't care much what happens to her at the moment but I do.

"Wanna dance?" The guy questions pulling her up before she can answer.

"Hey get b…" I start but I'm pulled by another guy, one who is quite drunk and laughing. I elbow him in the stomach and get away but now I've lost Clare. I start looking for her but she's nowhere to be seen, I do however see Drew coming in with Owen. "Hey B," Drew grins capturing my lips for a tender kiss, "where's my sister?"

"Well I sort of lost her."

Update next Saturday picking up from here, having some more summer fun and we'll also see Johnny, Lucas, Zig and Emma.