I should be getting ready for finals, but here's some Soriku- because I saw the 2.8 ending and I always have to make everything about Soriku and Riku suffering. I always feel so sad writing Soriku-because I know that they'll never have the balls to go through with it. You can argue that they will all just stay friends, or Sora and Kairi will end up together-but you have to be looking through your heteronormative glasses to not be able to see how in love Riku is with Sora. I'm pretty sure Sokai is endgame which is why I cry whenever I read or write Soriku. Anyway let me know in the comments if you like this fic, or your thoughts on Soriku or Sorkai becoming official by the end of the Xehenort Saga. Or the ot3 if that's your thing. Or if you want the game to just end as everyone being friends and no ship becomes explicitly canon.

What I would give to own Kingdom Hearts. *sighs*

For Riku, it had always been Sora. Sora who had been his first and best friend. Who it seemed had always been by his side as they went on so many adventures together, first pretend ones as children-then real ones as they grew up separately- until they were reunited. Riku knew he had made a lot of mistakes, but every decision he had made up until this moment in his life had been because of Sora. Which is why when Kairi had spoken, Riku didn't know how to feel.

"Who's this new Riku, and where's the old one?" Kairi had asked teasingly. "You're more like Sora"

It was almost frighting. The idea of being like the boy that had played such an enormous role in his life.

"Should I be flattered?" He replied trying not to show just how much his friend's observation had left him reeling. Yet feeling he somehow had to try and make some sense of it all out loud he continued.

"I tried too hard to be the role model. It's more fun to just listen to my heart. Which is Soraesque"

It felt accurate for Riku to say he felt like the role model. He was older, and Sora had tended to follow him around and try to outdo him in everything they did. Yet it was exhausting. No longer did he want to compete. Not simply because he felt he would never be able to surpass the bright light that Sora was, but because he now dreamed of standing by his side as equals.

All this was the reason for Riku's turmoil. To say he was acting like Sora- Soraesque was daunting. To be like the one who had influenced more than just almost every decision he had made in his life, but had impacted his very self as well was intense. Did this mean he was closer to being on par with Sora? He felt...unworthy. Since they were children, Sora had so easily made his way into his heart, into his soul and very essence and never left. Despite doing everything for Sora, he had caused so much damage. He questioned if he would ever be able to heal it all. Yet Riku was selfish, and he wanted so much to be Sora's equal. To take up as much space in Sora, as Sora did in him. Riku wanted to hold on tight to the part of Sora's heart that was his, and never let go.

When Mickey had mentioned his old friends; Aqua, Terra, and Ventus-old memories had resurfaced. He remembered meeting Terra, a tall strong man, who had asked him why he was interested in worlds beyond his own. And he had responded easily like any little boy would, that he wanted to be strong someday. He elaborated that he wanted that very strength in order to protect what mattered most to him. His friends. His best friend. His Sora.

Later, that goal had become corrupted. Partly by his own desperation, maybe even jealousy at how he felt he was on the verge of losing Sora. As the island was engulfed in darkness, he reached out to Sora who tried and failed to take his hand. He had landed alone in an unknown world. He enlisted the help of the witch to find Sora-then Kairi. Finally finding him, and then feeling exchanged was what ultimately set his downfall into motion. Deciding if Sora had replaced him, then he would swap Sora with Kairi. He'd find her first, and Sora would be left without either of them. He wanted Sora to be in pain. He wanted him to hurt, just as he was hurting at how it seemed Sora hadn't been as worried about finding him. Hadn't wanted to be together again and explore new worlds, like they had planned to.

However in the end, he had been able to get back to himself-only to find it was too late to help Sora. To later find him sleeping was a shock. Sure he had laughed it off as he always did, lazy Sora- here he was working his but off and Sora was taking a nap? But he was worried. He wanted to help Sora recover his memories, so he could come back.

Namine had explained the path to waking him up wouldn't be easy, but nothing ever was. No, he wouldn't lock away his memories of Ansem. He'd fight, fight to beat him, fight to get stronger. To help Sora. To wake him up. He had to wake up.

Then Riku finally came across Roxas. Roxas who was Sora, yet not. He felt bad, but he knew it had to be done. He had to defeat him or Sora would never wake up, and that was just not a viable option. So they fought, and Riku gave his all, but it wasn't enough. He had to do everything possible in order to get Sora back so he chose. Chose to embrace the darkness in his heart, becoming so dark he knew he was no longer recognizable, and might never be able to go back to how he was before. When Sora woke up, Riku knew he wouldn't be able to bear facing him, but it was alright. As long as Sora woke up everything would be okay.

Yet he could not make himself stay away as he had planned to. As always he was drawn to Sora. It helped that Sora was a bit clueless, so as always Riku helped him. He knew Sora was looking for him, but also that Kairi was important as well. So he helped her, as she was his friend too. He helped to bring them together and gave her a Keyblade so she could protect herself. He chose to leave, yet they didn't let him. Kairi then drew their hands together for Sora to see it was really him. And Sora felt him, his heart resonating with his own in recognition. Then Sora cried for him, and Riku knew he couldn't leave again.

They fought side by side like they had in the past, the entire group worked together until it was just the two of them. Then they were trapped alone in the realm of darkness, and Riku was okay. When he had been there before he had felt more afraid, but with Sora by his side he knew everything would be fine. They would be the darkness, and everyone else would be the light. So he asked Sora to take him near the water. While he couldn't confess to the emotions that had been growing, as he wasn't fully sure he understood, or even wanted to understand them, he tried to convey a bit of everything he was feeling as best as he could. That in reality he had always been jealous of Sora. He wanted to live like he did. In order to help Sora see just how much he meant to him, he stated how the best part of being himself, was being able to have Sora's friendship.

Of course it had proved to be somewhat unnecessary, as they had made their way back to the island. Things had been normal. Nothing really changed until they received the letter that called them back into action. The mark of mastery exam was about to take place. They had started it together, then had been separated due to outside influence, and Riku knew he had to get back to Sora. While it had been a struggle and a mess overall, Riku had learned a lot. Everyone he had met and everything he had done had taught him something. Not only about Xehenort as he made his way through the exam, but about himself and about Sora. From Beat, who understood the desire to protect the one thing that mattered, to Mickey who understood that him and Sora were connected, "Your hearts are always in tune" he had said.

Lastly, Riku found out that he had been inside Sora's dreams the entire time. That he had unknowingly gone in to protect Sora from his nightmares, as he had when they were children, made Riku feel a moment of happiness. Yet after rescuing him from the clutches of Xehenort, it was not enough. Sora was still asleep, and Riku feared that this time, Sora would never wake up. Luckily, Master Yen Sid had explained how he had the power to dive into Sora's very heart after having dived into his dreams. It was his duty to protect Sora, it had always been that way. Because Sora was his friend, who had never failed to stand by him. Because as he now knew years later, he loved Sora and would do anything for him. Sora had saved him time and time again, had saved his life and his soul. They shared an eternal bond of friendship and love. Sora's heart had called out to Riku, and he was ready to go through anything in order to bring him back.

So he went, not afraid for himself, but afraid of failing and Sora remaining asleep. Afraid that he would never see Sora laugh and smile again. Without Sora, Riku knew he himself could never smile. He had meant it when he said Sora was what made him smile, made it so easy to smile. Everything about Sora brought Riku immense joy and happiness. So yes, Riku was afraid, but he knew that his love would not fail to bring Sora back. Back to him, and back to all those they called friend.

Then Riku had fallen more in love with Sora. After answering questions on the beach, he had come across Ansem the wise, who shared knowledge of Sora with him. Riku knew better than anyone the capacity Sora's heart had to love, but to hear it in words was astounding. As Ansem spoke of how strong and beautiful Sora's heart was; its desire to love, heal, and protect all, Riku's own heart responded, having felt the power of Sora's exquisite heart for himself.

Then he was back, and Sora had jumped to embrace him daring to exclaim how he was safe, when all the worry had been on Sora's own safety. Being declared a Master was an honer, but all he had truly cared about was saving Sora, the exam having been essentially erased from his mind.

Now, Sora had left, and he had gone as well to bring back Kairi, who just minutes ago had commented on how he had changed. Looking back he knew he had, and it was all thanks to Sora. Maybe someday he'd thank Sora for all he had done. Of course his friend would just give him that silly grin of his, and Riku's love would grow even stronger. Riku knew he could not know when his love for Sora had gone beyond friendship, but he knew it had been inevitable since the moment they first met. Every decision he had made had been in some way in reaction to Sora, and they had all led him to falling more and more for his friend.

Riku did not know if he would ever let Sora know of his love, but he knew that having Sora as his friend could be enough.

I don't know if I'll write a follow up to this, maybe a Sora falling for Riku fic as I already wrote a confession one, even though that one and this one aren't really related ( i don't think?) . Anyway, let me know what you thought! 3