Please, don't talk to me about intelligence. Don't talk to me about anything logical because honestly, and I truly mean honestly, I have had enough!
I try to solve things rationally, but no, no one wants to hear what I have to say. No one wants to listen to the girly-looking prince. No one wants to hear the truth, the rational, long-lasting truth! Why? I just wanted to voice my opinion. I just wanted to convince him to do the right thing! But…he'd ignored me, and no one else wanted to help me. I had to do it; I just really, really had to…
It was during the afternoon. I sat in the living room, reading a book and drinking tea. Oh, how delicious that tea was! It made my whole body feel warm and nice.
However, I did not feel that way for long. My friend and fellow Smasher, Ike, had stepped in. He dragged his sword across the carpet, a smirk on his face. The very sound of the scraping and his suspicious expression annoyed me. Ike was always up to something, and usually I had to help him, Link, Ness, and Sonic get out of their mess. I always tell them to stop or not to do it, but they never listen.
"Ike," I said, putting down my book and tea. "What are you doing? Where are you going?"
Ike turned in my direction, his smirk going away. "Nothing, don't worry about."
Nothing? Oh, I knew at the moment that something bad was going to happen. I refused to let it happen. I stood up ever so gracefully and walked to him, demanding him to tell me his plans.
He rolled his eyes, another little pet peeve of mine. "If you must know, Link and I are going to pull a prank on Sonic." He tapped his foot, obviously impatient. The mercenary really knows how to act upon my nerves.
"What kind of prank?" I asked.
Ike looked around before leaning in closer. "Listen," he whispered. "It's just an age-old prank. You know that large hole in the backyard?"
I nodded. I remember Peach and I having to save Pikachu because he fell in. The hole is very deep and dark.
"Good. Now, Link is gonna put some leaves over the hole and stuff. Ya know, the way they do it in cartoons. When he falls in, we're gonna cover the hole in something to lock him in. No one will know he's there…well, except you. But you won't tell. It'll be so funny!"
I looked at him in horror. That wasn't funny at all; in matter of fact, it was extremely dangerous! Being the very intelligent and responsible person I am, I told Ike my view of the plan. I had explained to him to consequences of it. Instead of heeding my advice, he narrowed his eyes and told me to mind my own business.
"You are going to tell no one. Do you hear me? Absolutely no one. It's just a joke, nothing else. Besides, remember the prank Sonic pulled on us a week ago? The one that turned you and Link's hair pink and made me get stuck in the freezer room? Yeah, I know you remember that. This calls for revenge. Innocent, childish revenge. Stop thinking all smart and stuff and learn how to have fun. The prank's happening tonight, and we'll get him in the morning. No harm will be done."
"Ike, please, think about this rationa-"
He placed a hand over my mouth. "Screw rationality and the logical thinking crap. Prince Marth Lowell, you will not tell anyone, understand?"
I didn't want to argue; there would be no point, for Ike had already made up his mind. I nodded my understanding. He smiled, the smile showing a hint of sadistic pleasure. I shivered.
"That's a good prince. See you later, buddy!" He removed his hand from my mouth and patted my head like I was some dog. Ike then turned and walked away, continuing the drag his sword against the carpet. Each noise made me twitch. I returned to my seat and sat down slowly, placing my book on my lap. I grabbed my tea and drank three quick sips before gently placing the cup back on the small desk. My body felt warm again, but not nice. No, I didn't feel nice at all. I couldn't describe the feeling, but believe me when I say it was indeed far from nice.
I knew Ike's claim of "innocent and childish revenge" was a lie. He and Link were going to hurt Sonic. I personally had no reason to hurt the hedgehog. I thought the prank was funny, and that I looked dashing with pink hair. There was no need to act or think irrationally. He's not listening to me, and it is very unlikely that Link will listen to me.
I have to tell someone. Hopefully they will listen to me.
People consider me a wall of knowledge for the advice I give and the many, many books I read. I'm constantly compared to Patchouli Knowledge. However, I believe many people would acknowledge her than me, possibly due to her magical nature. No one ever seems to want to hear what I have to say; yet, I am considered a wall of knowledge. A very contradicting thought. It seems like no one wants to hear what I say, possibly because I am always right. Is that it? Please, someone answer me.
I had approached Master Hand in his study. He's seemed very busy, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind this interruption.
"Master Hand, may I talk with you for a second?"
The giant white glove ignored me. Being ignored is one of my pet peeves. It is very rude to do so.
"Master Hand, I am sorry to interr-"
"What is it, Marth?" He sounded very annoyed. I gulped before speaking.
"I have very important news relay to you. It's pertaining to Ike, Link, and to a lesser extent, Sonic."
"What. Is. It? I am very busy, Mr. Lowell, so I will need you to cut to the point."
"Oh, um, yes. You see, Ike and Link is going to trick-"
Master Hand interrupted me yet again. I never knew the hand was so rude. He must've not noticed my twitching. I have tendency to twitch when I am angered, annoyed, or worried.
"By trick, you mean pulling a prank? Like a practical joke?"
"Yes, you may put it in those terms, but this is not an ordinary-"
"Marth, you bother me to tell me three idiots are messing with each other. Do you not realize that is of the greatest unimportance?"
"Please Master Hand, if you listen for-"
"Go!" he roared. "I have important things to attend to." The hand returned to his work. I stared for awhile before taking my leave. How could he just dismiss me like that? He doesn't realize the true intentions Ike and Link have! I should've known going to Master Hand wouldn't work. He's not really reliable anyway. Perhaps a friend will listen, will understand.
I saw Peach listening to music in her room. It was the theme belonging to a character named Utsuho Reiuji called "Solar Sect of Mystic Wisdom~Nuclear Fusion." I like the theme, and I greatly wanted to sit with Peach and listen with her, but like Master Hand had stated, important things had to be attended to.
"Peach!" I called. "May I talk to you?"
Peach paused her music, seemingly annoyed. "What is it Marth?"
I decided to be quick and short with it. "You see, Ike and Link are planning to do something to Sonic, and I-"
"So?" she said. "Please don't mention any of their names to me. Earlier, they've once again destroyed my flower garden. I could care less about what those three do."
I shook my head. It is so tiring to be interrupted constantly. Can't people listen for just a second?
"Peach, please to listen to me," I pleaded. "This is something bad. I need your help."
"Anything with them is bad!" she snapped. "Marth, you are a very intelligent man, so you can obviously figure out that anything pertaining to them is not of my concern. I can care less about their plans, and if it involves you, then you have to solve in on your own. Do what you usually do and solve with common sense. Don't involve me."
Peach pressed the play button and turned the volume up. I could hear Ness yell to turn it down. I couldn't believe my own friend won't help me. Why, why, why? I am absolutely tired of being rejected! I stormed away, deciding I must prevent this horror from the source.
I will talk to Link, and luckily it did not take long to find him.
Walking around the Smash Mansion relaxed me a little. I walked up the stairs quickly, smiling when I saw the Hylian carry a large bag. My smiled quickly disappeared when I realized that bag contained the leaves for their horrid scheme. I called to him, starling him and causing him to drop the bag in the process.
"Damnit Marth, see what you've done!"
"That does not matter! I ask you, please don't carry out this plan! Sonic could become seriously hurt. It could backfire and have terrible consequences!"
"That's the whole point, Marth. We're gonna get that little blue prick."
"It was just an innocent little trick!"
"It was embarrassing!" Link bent down and scooped all of the dropped leaves in his arms. He then proceeded to place them in the bag before returning his attention towards me. His blue eyes stared me down.
"You were apart of it. He embarrassed you too. Why don't you join us?" The way he said word "us" made me shiver. It sounded so cold-blooded. He perhaps could drink some tea.
"I realized that the prank wasn't that serious! This calls for no harm!"
"Ours isn't that serious too, Marthy-Marth. To the eyes of others, it's only two fools exacting their supposedly needed vengeance. You're smart, Marth; you know that this calls for revenge, right? Listen well, Marth Lowell, and don't forget this. You are not stopping us. This needs to happen, and I refuse to listen to a person whose conscious thinks it's bad."
Link grabbed the bag and began to walk down the stairs. I began to twitch again, disgusting thoughts filling my head. As soon as Link went past me, I turned and stuck my leg out, causing him to fall. I watched as he fell violently down the stairs before reaching the bottom. I ran down and observed him.
The Hylian was bleeding, and his arm appeared to be twisted. I bent down and poked at him. Thankfully, he was unconscious. I looked at the bag. None of the leaves had fallen out. I quickly picked up the bag, ran upstairs, and hid it behind the curtain. Then, I walked back down and picked up Link. I never knew he was so heavy. This is what happens when you eat hamburgers nearly every day.
I struggled to carry him up the stairs, but I managed to get it done. I looked down the corridor and noticed his door was open. Smiling, I took the Hylian to his room and placed him on his bed. I probably could have done it a bit more gently, for when I put him down, I heard a little snap. Oh well.
I proceeded to his drawer and opened a secret compartment. I knew this is where he kept his weapons so kids like Ness and Lucas wouldn't find it. I grabbed what I needed: the rope. Smiling in ways that I now perceive as creepy and frightening, I cut the rope into large pieces and tied his hands and feet to the bed. I grabbed his sword and threw it the closet. I wasn't careful, and I believed I broke something valuable in there, but I could care less at that point.
I left his room to retrieve the bag. I then walked down to the very end of the corridor, for that was where my room was located. Slowly opening the door, I walked in and placed the bag near my desk. I couldn't believe what I have done, but if you think about it logically, then it was needed. I just had to stop Ike. My intelligence will come in handy here. I sat on my bed, grabbed a book called Perfect Memento in Strict Sense, and began to read while waiting for night to come.
This book is very enjoyable and informational.
Night looks very beautiful. I absolutely love it, but it is now not the time to reminisce on its beauty. Instead it is waiting time, a game I hate playing.
Before I left the mansion, I had made some tea. One cup was for Ike, while the other was for me. I had placed mine on my desk in my room. For Ike's, I placed a very special ingredient in the tea. I wondered about its flavors. Perhaps it will have a tangy flavor?
With Ike's tea in hand and the bag full of leaves in the other, I headed to the backyard. Once reaching there, I scolded myself for not wearing a jacket, for it was slightly cold. Thankfully, it wasn't too long before Ike appeared. He looked at me with a confused expression.
"Where's Link?" he asked.
"He wasn't able to make it."
Ike rolled his eyes. I began to twitch slightly. "Figures…I should've known he would chicken out. Did you tell anybody?"
I shook my head, smiling slightly. "No, I did not. In matter of fact, I have decided to join you."
Ike gave me the sadistic little smile he had given me earlier. "Good. I know you would stop thinking so reasonably. We don't need that here. Acting upon whims is how I'm thinking about it."
I nodded my head. "Agreed, friend."
Ike smiled again, then he eyed the tea I held. He asked me what it was for, and I told him that I made it just for him.
"Thanks Marth, I am a little thirsty." Ike took the tea and gulped it down. I guess it wasn't warm anymore, which was a shame, for a person should feel warm when facing their last moments.
I grinned when Ike dropped the cup, his eyes widening in horror. I held in my laughter when he began gasping for air, falling to the ground in the process.
"W-what…did y-y-you…do?" he asked. I didn't immediately respond; I was enjoying his face taking on an eggplant-color, though I hate eggplants.
"You see Ike, I have placed poison in your tea. Tell me, did it have a tangy flavor? Medicine Melancholy would be proud of me, if I do say so myself."
Ike didn't respond. He was too busy scratching the ground and foaming at the mouth. I believe the poison I'd given is too strong for the mercenary, and its side effects are very unusual. However, it is worth it.
Ike managed to stand up. I was very surprised. It was amazing he could do that, nonetheless speak.
"You...damn you…"
"You should have listened to me. Everyone should listen to me. I am indeed a very insightful person, Ike. You wouldn't think intelligently. You and Link's thoughts were not commonsensical."
"W-w-what did you d-do to L-Link…?"
I shook my head and waved my finger. "That is not of importance, Ike. What has happened has been done in a very rational manner. I think logically; others do not, and as a result, I was able to stop your little plan."
Ike grabbed his chest. "Shut up…I-I don't want t-t-to listen to you anymore…" His knees began to wobble, and I started twitching again. I've noticed it was more violent than usual. I grabbed Falchion out of its sheath.
"I know you don't want to listen, but you will now!" I walked towards him. It made me glad to see that he couldn't move anymore. I took my sword and slashed his chest, getting blood on my new blue clothes.
"No one wants to listen to me, to hear what I have to say!" I stabbed him again. His agony was palpable, but I didn't care. "No one wants to listen to a man whose views should be appreciated! Do you NOT realize my importance!? I am Prince Marth Lowell of Altea, a knowledgeable man of royalty that hates being ignored! If you do not want to listen to my reasonable thoughts, then I shall force you to!"
I don't know how many times I've stabbed and cut him, but I know there was blood everywhere. No screams however, though that would've been nice. The poison had made it impossible for Ike to open his mouth. Instead, here he was in front of me, looking like a managed, bloodied mess. I couldn't hold my laughter back then. I kicked him into the hole, grabbed the bag of leaves, and dumped all over his body. Maybe that'll mask the smell of a rotting human being. No one wants to smell a dead body. Trust me, it is not a pleasant smell.
I walked back into the mansion and headed to my room. I saw Peach while I was on my way. She looked at me in shock and asked why I was covered in blood. I didn't respond. I'll deal with her later.
I took a very nice shower and changed into my silky blue pajamas. I sat on my bed and grabbed a book. Taking a sip of my tea, I was slightly surprised and happy that it was still warm. Once again, I felt warm and nice. I reflected upon this day, and decided that both Patchouli Knowledge and Medicine Melancholy would be proud of my deeds.
I know tomorrow will be a very long day, but I am not worried. This is a lesson, a very rational lesson. I do know that I'll never do such a thing like this again. It was very tiring. So, please, don't talk to me about intelligence. Don't talk to me about anything logical because honestly, and I truly mean honestly, I have had enough!
Or, at least for now…
Well, this had taken forever to write. As a little note, the title is a reference to Touhou-related things. It's taken from a song called "Wall of Knowledge" by SOUNDHOLIC, and Medicine Melancholy's Theme, "Poison Body~Forsaken Doll." (I was constantly playing that theme while writing the poison part with Ike and Marth.) There are actually a lot of Touhou-related things in here, and sorry if you don't know what Touhou is or don't like it (you don't have to know what Touhou is in order to understand, of course). I just thought I'd mention that as a little fun fact. I hope you enjoyed!