Hello everyone! Enjoy the first chapter of my Berena fanfic that has been waiting to be published for a very long time now! I'll be grateful for any reviews, thankyou! :) xo
Eyes glittering, Bernie Wolfe grinned a creased smile at the brunette walking towards her.
"Hello Serena! How are you on this fine day?" Bernie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. They had both just finished the shift from hell in AAU and Keller respectively, with patient lists that went on for days and far too many agency nurses to count. On AAU Fletch and Raf were off ill with influenza - they'd both caught it from Fletch's daughter Evie. And on Keller (where Bernie had been working recently, in order to cover for the lack of doctors on shift), Dom was at home with the still-recovering Digby, therefore both women had been under excessive stress during their shifts and hadn't managed to catch a break, let alone see each other.
"Walk me to my car?" Serena asked, her tone hopeful.
"Of course. No offence Serena but you look like you could do with some sleep." Bernie remarked cheekily, as the pair began walking to the hospital entrance. Serena was in fact extremely tired; she'd just finished a double shift and, due to the seemingly endless mountains of paperwork sitting on her desk at home, she had hardly slept for the past four days. Dark circles under her eyes gave away her fatigue.
Suddenly, a glorious noise escaped Serena's mouth and filled the air. Her shoulders heaved as a laugh ran through her whole body - starting as a giggle, it soon developed into a full-out guffaw. Her eyes were crinkled with glee as she continued to laugh; trust Bernie to say what no-one else was willing to. The army medic always said what she thought, and Serena absolutely loved and treasured her honesty.
"Sorry for my sudden outburst, I don't know what came over me!" Serena exclaimed, having finally managed to stifle her outburst of giggling.
"No need to apologise. Hearing you laugh is an honour and rarity! It's one of the most...unique laughs I've ever heard!" Bernie replied, unable to keep a slightly bewildered smile off her face.
"Is that your way of saying it's terribly unpleasant?" Serena joked, an edge of mischief in her voice.
"Good grief Serena, not at all! Your laugh is very heart-warming and beautiful. In fact, it's almost as charming as it's owner." Bernie husked honestly, her hand grazing with Serena's as they walked. Bernie considered adding on that she thought Serena was just as beautiful as her laugh, but she decided to leave that for another day. After all, emotions can always wait to make themselves known.
"Charming as ever, Ms. Wolfe. You do know what to say to make a woman blush."
The brunette turned to face Bernie - unfortunately, they had reached Serena's car. Both women said their goodbyes with unstoppable smiles lighting up their faces; being in each other's presence created an unparalleled sense of joy for both women. As they each separated and got into their different cars, both couldn't keep the grins off their faces. Looking down at her hands, Serena felt the tingle of warmth from where Bernie's hands had touched her own. Little did she know that Bernie was feeling exactly the same way.
Sitting on the wooden bench in the Linden Cullen Memorial Shrubbery park, Serena gazed up into the night sky. The senior doctor was currently on a well-earned break from another crazy shift in the AAU. St. James's had reached their maximum capacity and the staff at Holby were doing their best to deal with the overflow of patients. Many simply required triage, but as with every simple task, the onslaught of paperwork was often as time-consuming as a difficult surgery. And so Serena sat, awestruck by the glittering gems in the jet black horizon, as waves of refreshing calmness rushed over her body. A cool but not bitter breeze danced in the fresh air - what a pleasant night this had turned out to be. Catching sight of an oncoming Bernie Wolfe, Serena smiled to herself; her night was about to get even better. The doctor thought that, if Bernie was natural phenomena, she would be ball lightening. An elusive, intriguing and wondrous enigma, just like the woman herself.
"Mind if I join you?" Bernie asked, her eyes lit up with a genuine smile.
"Of course, I'd enjoy your company."
"Here." Bernie handed Serena a coffee from Pulses. "I saw you out here as I was walking down the Keller staircase. I thought you looked like you could do with a hot drink, and I really had the urge to see you. Black coffee with brown sugar and no foam - just how you like it." Bernie husked sheepishly. She felt slightly flustered at the fact that, not only did she know Serena's exact coffee order, but she simply couldn't resist the urge to see the brunette if she had the chance. In fact, it was as if her heart had led the way to Serena and given the army medic simply no other choice but to see her. Sitting down, Bernie offered Serena the paper coffee cup.
Graciously, Serena took the cup from the army medic and wrapped her elegant fingers around it's warmth. "Thankyou Bern."
"You're welcome. Only the best for Serena Campbell!" Bernie joked, nudging the brunette teasingly in the ribs. And so both women sat in comfortable silence, enjoying their coffees and stargazing. Eventually, Serena looked over at the woman next to her. Above all other thoughts, all she wanted to do was sleep next to Bernie. She wanted to get close to her; feel her lips on her body, her arms wrapped around her waist. Ever since she'd divorced from Edward and then broken up with Robbie, Serena had been sleeping in a cold, unwelcoming bed with no one beside her. Every night, she was lonely. So lonely. Thus, she often wished for nothing more than to feel the blonde army medic's arms around her, protecting her from the suffocating isolation that threatened to swallow her whole in the dark hours of the night. Holding hands, sharing a hug - was that so much to ask? Right now, Serena just wanted to come home to Bernie. The brunette just wanted to know that, at the end of an impossibly long shift, there'd forever be someone to come home to. That, no matter what, she could always look forward to and rely on a seeing someone at the end of her shift. To be unconditionally welcomed into their arms. But Serena could only picture this ever being one person - Bernie. And so the two women sat in a comfortable silence, each not wanting to be the first to leave and more than content to remain there forever.
Echoes of previous explosions resonated in her eardrums. Vibrations from set-off IEDS rumbled through the arid ground, causing chain reactions and earthquake-like shocks. Dust swirled in puddles of sanguine blood. Beige Jackal 2 vehicles attempted to weave in and out of the path of oncoming detonations. She watched on as some of her comrades were helplessly blown to pieces by delayed grenades, their army camouflage engulfed by huge, billowing clouds of ash. There was noise and chaos everywhere, as innocent civilians ran for cover from the madness. The smell of burnt rubber and gunfire lingered in the dry air. Burst gas pipes dangled precariously above blazing fires; here, danger and death lay side by side. Without warning, the ground next to the motionless woman erupted like a volcano, recklessly throwing debris in every direction. Paralysed with shock, she couldn't help but remain still as her body was thrown into the air. In slow motion, she arced almost gracefully across the sky, watching the destruction below her. With a definitive thump, she hit the ground, immediately feeling her vertebrae shift dangerously upon impact. Shouts. Crowds. Medics. Needles. She could remember little of the few moments before she was put under anaesthetic, except her medical team busying around her body. Finally, a welcome darkness enveloped her.
Suddenly, Bernie Wolfe awoke, her forehead glistening with sweat. She quickly sat up in bed and protectively wrapped her arms around herself, having to physically unclench her balled fists. Wide, panicked eyes surveyed her current environment, searching for undetected IEDS or injured civilians. Still gasping for breath, Bernie tried to calm herself down - it was just a dream. Well, a nightmare. In fact it was the exact same nightmare she'd had for the past four days. After being hit with a detonated IED whilst on active service, her vehicle had rolled six times before catching alight. She was immediately flown back to England with a suspected spinal fracture and a ruptured aorta, and had been in and out of surgery around five times. But now she was completely healed and, after being offered a job by Jac Naylor, practicing medicine as a general surgeon upon the Keller (but more often AAU) ward of Holby City Hospital. Bernie wanted to move on although her mind was clearly unable to leave all past army experiences behind her.
Horrific, graphic nightmares had haunted Bernie's sleep ever since she'd been removed from her post. During active service, she was at the forefront of the combat, treating injured soldiers on the front line. She hadn't the time to think about anything but medicine. But without the promised chaos of her army medic duties, the blonde had more time to think about the things she had seen. Experiences that she had tried so hard to suppress and forget. With this new and unwanted time on her hands, Bernie Wolfe had no choice but to confront her most terrifying memories of active army service. The NHS was no lacking substitute - it still provided some action and drama, but was noticeably less urgent than medicine on the front line. She would offer herself up for every surgery, in the hope of staying at work for later. Perhaps the only obstacle to her working for inordinate amounts of time was Ric Griffin. The two were actually very similar and Bernie suspected that Ric had figured out, if not experienced himself, her use of work as a distraction. And so Bernie had far much more time to think about all she had seen in Afghanistan.
Anything could set off one of her flashbacks - the rumble of a car engine, the slam of a door and flashing lights had all been known to send Bernie straight back to Afganistan. As a consequence, she lived in fear; fear of the next, inevitable memory coming and taking hold of her entire body. But it wasn't just the anticipation of one of these attacks that scared Bernie. Everyday, this secret that she had harboured for so long on her own became a heavier and heavier weight to bear. Her chest ached under the pressure of being so inconsolably and undeniably alone. Marcus? There was no point in telling him - as far as he was concerned, Bernie was home (and now in his control) and therefore their marriage was perfect again. He didn't bother to see the sadness and complete fear that lived beyond the surface of the army medic's brash exterior. Her kids? She couldn't bear the thought of unloading this great burden onto them; Bernie felt guilty just thinking about it. In fact, there was no-one she could think of to share her problem. Every day, it got worse. The weight of the problem increased. And still, she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone. Weren't army members meant to be strong? Keep it together? When she signed up for active service, Bernie wanted to save lives; she figured that facing her... problem might mean having to give up medicine. If that happened, then she would surely die.
With a resigned sigh, Bernie rested her head back on her pillow. Her snoring husband was sound asleep beside her - as always, he was completely clueless as to what was running around inside his wife's mind. She looked at the back of his head, her cocoa eyes full of dismay. If there was once love between them, Bernie could no longer feel it. In fact, most days she could barely bring herself to look at Marcus. Not only did she feel guilty about her affair (that he had yet to find out about) but she had simply fallen out of love with him. It wasn't that he was a bad husband, it's just that she wished every day for him to be someone else. Serena Campbell. Every time he held her, Bernie secretly wished it was Serena's arms wrapped tight around her waist. Every time they slept together, Bernie yearned to feel Serena's elegant hands roaming her body. Even spending time with him felt like a chore, all simply because he wasn't Serena. Bernie was beginning not only to question her choice in husband, but her choice in everything. She honestly couldn't understand the deep longing she felt to run her fingers along Serena's cheekbones every time she saw her; it was unexplainable, but completely undeniable. She found her imagination obsessed with the thought of kissing Serena. The brunette constantly played on Bernie's mind. The thought of feeling Serena under her, the thought of Serena moaning in her ear. Just being around the brunette, even when they'd first met, made Bernie's heart pump faster. From the moment she clapped eyes on the gorgeous brunette, Bernie couldn't help but notice the way she felt around her. A content smile played upon the woman's pink lips as she pictured Serena in her mind. Unbeknownst to her, Serena was very much under Bernie's skin. Finally finding solace in picturing the enchanting general surgeon, Bernie blissfully drifted back off to sleep.