Hi, this fic is set after back to earth. Therefore Rimmer does have Hardlight and Holly is still out of action. I hope you like it is a bit of a wink to Dawn of the Dead but not enough to make it a cross over. Reviews / comments welcome.

Drive Room 2200hrs

Lister ambles into the room and spots Rimmer leaning over the scanner.

"What ya doing man? Not seen you all afternoon." said Lister walking over to look over Rimmers shoulder.

Rimmer glanced over his shoulder at Lister who was trying to make out what he was looking at.

"There is something out there, something big." Said Rimmer in his serious voice.

"Big huh, how big?" said Lister loosing interest in the scanner and flopping down into the seat behind him.

"Bigger than Red Dwarf." Stated Rimmer looking back at the screen.

"What like moon big?" asked Lister

"Bigger." Replied Rimmer.

"So what is it?" asked Lister.

"I don't know, that is why I have been monitoring the scanner all afternoon while you Lister have been most likely slobbing all day?" Said Rimmer looking at the series of dots on the screen.

"Cat and I played a few games to pass the time, you know some of the classics we did on Starbug back before we got the Dwarf back. Cat won the count your eyelashes, but I was closest for guess the weight of button fluff in the jar." Said Lister reaching to his hat and pulling a rolled up cigarette out of it.

Rimmer without looking pointed to the sign above the desk which clearly indicated smoking was not allowed.

Lister promptly ignored this advice and lit up.

"Have you asked Holly?" said Lister

Rimmer turned to face Lister his face clearly showing that he was not amused. "Lister you know full well that Holly is still not operational. Last week when we attempted to turn him back on after the dry out he promptly set off all 4000 ship wide smoke alarms and began singing I am a little Christmas tree you can't cut me. So no, I have not asked the genius computer that is Holly!"

"Alright keep your hair on. How far out is it?" asked Lister.

Rimmer glanced back at the screen. "About 4000 clicks, at this speed we should come into short range scanner by the morning."

Lister got up and stretched. "Right in that case, I am going to do some research down the bar, have fun Rimmer." He walked out leaving Rimmer still bent over the scanner.

0600 hrs Sleeping quarters.

Rimmer burst into the room, his whole body shook with excitement. He looked over at Lister who was cuddling a can of wicked strength larger in his sleep. He should wake him and tell him the news, but why spoil the fun. Rimmer walked up to his personal draw and pulled out what he was looking for and left.

1430hrs Sleeping quarters

.

Lister sat down at the grey steel table and sipped at his tea. He noticed that Rimmer was not in his bunk but that was no great surprise for this time of the day. At times like this is particularly did miss Holly, in the old days he could just ask him where Rimmer was, but now he had to find out the standard boring way and go look for him.

He got up and looked in the mirror, god he looked awful. That last can of larger had hit the sweet spot alright and now he was paying for it with a one way trip to is that cock roach shuffling to loud city.

Kryten came into the room in his normal chirpy self.

"Afternoon sir, good to see you up and looking fresh. I have some breakfast for you, your normal mid afternoon pick me up, 4 eggs on a white bread with 6 rashers of bacon smeared with brown sauce and just a dash of curry paste. Well actually I'd be lying if I said a dash, these days I tend to go through a jar a meal." Said Kryten setting the offending item on the table.

Lister turned "Great Kryten, I'm staving." Said Lister sitting down to eat.

After a couple of bites he sighed, 'that was more like it.' He thought.

"Cheers Kryters, good breakfast." He said with several bits of food dropping from his open mouth.

Kryten thought 'now was as good as anytime to tell him.'

"Sir, it appears Mr Rimmer has taken Starbug 1 and left the ship."

Lister looked up. "Any idea where he's gone?" asked Lister sounding totally unconcerned. It was not uncommon for Rimmer to go of like that.

"Well, he was pretty excited about the space mall we are orbiting when I last saw him." Said Kryten.

Lister was not sure he heard him right. "Space mall? So that's what it was. Err Kryten what's a space mall then ?"

"In the 22nd century they built them off world. People's desire to shop went out of control and there simply was not space left on planets to meet the ever increasing demands of the shopper. They are mega mall structures that in effect are self contained environments that allow people work, live, shop and die." Said Kryten mopping up the now finished plate of Listers.

"So you're telling me he's gone shopping?" said Lister.

Kryten nodded.

"What's wrong with the mall on board Red Dwarf?" asked Lister.

"Sir you have no idea the draw these things have, they are like the holy land for goods. Every single thing you could want is there, why some people go to these places and are never seen again. They also stock a large range of Hologram luxury items." Informed Kryten.

"Luxury items?" enquired Lister.

Kryten looked slightly embarrassed. "Oh please don't make me explain, you humans have such strange nocturnal habits."

"Oh." Said Lister the sudden realisation of what Luxury items might mean. "Well then, we better get the Cat and go shopping." Said Lister grinning.

Next time: Rimmer finds the store he wants and Kryten makes a discovery.