Chapter 1:
ELI
I didn't want to go to school.
I mean, it wasn't like I normally loved school, but before the break, things had been going okay. I had Adam there, who was probably my best friend. I was getting good grades- if you don't count history. I had Clare.
Now that was all up in the air.
Adam's mom wouldn't let him come over the entire break. As soon as she found out about my involvement in the incident at Vegas Night, she had immediately forbidden him from ever seeing me again. Adam had texted me a few times, but without an excuse to leave the house, I spent the entire break sitting in my room, thinking about Clare.
I had messed up. Big time. How many times had she told me to drop it? To ignore Fitz? But of course I didn't. Of course I had to be stubborn, to goad him. Even when I had the chance to end it once and for all, I managed to screw it up.
Like everything.
And now I had to go to school, and face her. Could I blame her if she hated me? If she blamed me for everything, if she wanted nothing to do with me?
Thinking about that possibility suddenly made it hard to breathe. Clare hating me would be a hundred times worse than wearing this stupid uniform. Khaki pants and a red polo? Ugh. NOT my style.
I was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when my dad came in.
'Morning,' he said gruffly.
'Morning,' I answered. My dad and I weren't exactly close. I don't think he ever got over my mom leaving us when I was only four, and I don't think he was too jazzed about raising a kid by himself. He pretty much leaves me to myself and I do the same to him. But however distant we may be, he's an alright dad. He makes sure I eat and get home at a decent time, and it seemed like he really cared when I got home from Vegas Night.
FLASHBACK
I walked in the door, still shaking like a leaf. I really had no idea how I had managed to drive home safely, I was trembling so bad. Whatever I'd said to Clare about not letting Fitz scare me was a lie. Standing there, thinking I was about to die with Clare watching me, me being her Julia, was the most terrifying experience of my life.
'Eli?' My dad walked into my room. 'You okay?'
I looked up and my dad's eyebrows shot up. 'What happened? You're pale as a ghost.'
I don't even know how it happened, but suddenly there I was, spilling everything to my father. I told him about Fitz breaking the hood ornament, how he tried to hurt Adam, about the fake ID. I told him about Clare, and how much she meant to me. I told him all about the dance and everything that happened. It most uncharacteristic of me, but it was my dad who shocked me after I'd finished. He hugged me. Maybe that isn't supposed to be a weird thing, I don't know, but I can't remember him ever doing it before.
We hadn't really talked much since.
I shook myself out of the memory. My dad turned to face me. 'Remember son, we've got that meeting after school.'
Oh, yeah. Simpson had called last week to set up a disciplinary meeting for Clare and I. Our parents even had to go.
'Yeah, dad. I'll see you then.' I put on my black blazer (at least I got to keep that) and left for school.
CLARE
I put on my khaki skirt and purple polo and looked at myself in the mirror. Ugh. Normally Alli and I disagreed about fashion choices, but I wholeheartedly agreed with her on this one. Uniforms completely took away our right to personal expression! I thought of Eli in it and smiled, before everything came back to me. My smile disappeared.
Frankly, I was surprised I had managed to put it out of my head for even a second. Eli, Fitz, Vegas Night- it was all I had thought of the entire two week break. How scared I had been. How Eli made me feel. What I had said to him afterwards- 'If it's this, then I can't be with you.'
I had run home and cried.
Yes, I had meant what I said. I hated violence. I hated Eli being hurt. I hated having to watch him almost die. But I couldn't picture him not being there anymore. Even though I hadn't even known him that long, even though we'd been an official couple for about eight hours before Vegas Night, he meant so much to me.
And I hadn't talked to him for two whole weeks.
What if he hated me? I had certainly played my own part in this- I was the one who agreed to go with Fitz, and then tried to force Eli to apologize. I was dreading school, not only because of the disciplinary meeting and the new rules. The truth was, I didn't want to know if he didn't like me anymore. I don't think I could take it. It was bad enough over the break with my parents fighting constantly. I sighed and went downstairs. My mother was sitting at the table, her eyes red and puffy.
'Good morning Clare,' she said stiffly. My parents hadn't been too happy when Simpson called to tell them that I had set off the stink bomb. It had come up in several of their fights, my mother convinced I was rebelling because of them.
'Good morning, Mom,' I answered tentatively.
'That meeting is at 3:30, right?'
'Yeah,' I answered. 'Is dad going to be there too?'
She set down her glass of orange juice so hard that the table shook. 'Yes,' she said, breathing it. 'If I have anything to say about it.' She stalked out of the room.
I sighed. This day was going to be great.