Angel
I was running.
I was running faster than any human on this earth could, and I still couldn't run fast enough. I wanted to get away from always being so annoyed, so angry. I wanted to get away from all of it:
Carlisle's infuriating, unyielding calm.
Esme's constant kindness and goodwill that never failed to make me guilty.
But most of all, Edward. Edward, the all-knowing one. Edward, the one I wasn't good enough for.
This was always an interesting subject to ponder. If anyone had asked me if I wanted Edward, I would have truthfully said no. If anyone had asked me if I was upset that Edward didn't want me, I would have said no again, but it wouldn't be the complete truth.
Did I want Edward to love me?
No.
Yes.
I wasn't sure.
There was certainly a part of me that wanted him to, but that wasn't because I was in love with him. I wasn't in love with Edward: I knew that much for certain. Any feelings of affection I ever held for him were simply friendly; I never felt the need to have anything more with him. He was my brother, period. No comma, no question mark.
After thinking about it for a while, I had come up with a very likely possibility that I now recognized as truth. I didn't love Edward, but I wanted him to love me because he was the only one who didn't. Even in the past few years when I had been a human, men had always wanted me. Before I became a vampire and my features were enhanced.
I was beautiful, and I knew it. They knew that I knew it, and it just made them want me more. My beauty was something that I could always depend on, something that I had anyway but that I desperately held onto. It was my advantage over humans, it was my gift. And that was why it bothered me so much that Edward would never love me. He had no mate, and I had none, and I was breathtakingly gorgeous even to a vampire.
But he still didn't want me!
I figured it out, probably quicker than Carlisle and Esme did. He had done his mind reading thing on me, and heard the bitterness in my thoughts. Of course he didn't want me then. Edward had thought I was obsessed with myself. That I didn't care about anything else.
That was where he was wrong, though. I loved a great deal. I loved him as a brother, and Carlisle as a father, and especially Esme as a mother. I loved the sunrise and the sunset, and the beautiful music that he filled the house with, and I was always happy when I saw those bits of evidence that suggested how wholly in love Esme and Carlisle were.
I was happy for them.
But was it such a bad thing that I loved myself a little, too? That I liked the way I looked, the way I was faster and stronger and smarter than humans… Was that so terrible?
I had accepted a while ago that Edward didn't love me, but it was a fact that I always brought up to myself when I considered how he thought he knew everything, how he thought he was too good for everyone, even Carlisle.
It infuriated me.
My father always bore Edward with that patience of his, as did Esme with her love. But I wouldn't have it. I would always tell Edward, mentally or vocally, what I thought of him. He would always return with how I was so selfish, and so I had no right to accuse him of anything.
But so what if I was selfish? They all still wanted me anyway, even if it annoyed them at times. And if it did, then they would have to deal with their annoyance. Whatever I had, it came with the package, and they could take it or leave it. They always took it.
All of this I pondered while running, enjoying the feel of the harsh wind against my face, of my golden locks blowing behind me, the light from the setting sun gleaming brilliantly off my skin, and the feeling of releasing the pent-up anger inside of me. I knew I would feel even better after I had hunted.
After an hour or so I neared a little creek. I could smell an animal approaching slowly, a deer it smelled like. I hid in the bushes and watched, waiting. It was a deer, a strong young buck. He wouldn't go without a fight, I noted, and smiled.
I would play with this one.
My prey, completely relaxed and calm from the sound of his heartbeat, lowered his head to the water and drank. Still smirking, I allowed my hand to brush against a plant to my right, making a quiet rustling noise. The buck was instantly alert. He cocked a velvet ear, listening. The blood pumped in his veins seductively. Hardly able to draw this out any longer, I took a silent step forward.
It was then that I heard a cry, coming from a couple of miles away. I stopped moving and did a little listening of my own.
The cry came again, but broke off into a moan of unmistakable pain. My eyes narrowed. I could recognize that sound: it was a sound from a long time ago, but one that still brought me guilt and pain. Terribly thirsty, I decided to dismiss it, and turned back to my dinner.
That was when I caught the scent. My nostrils flared, and I let out a cry of surprise. It was a human.
A human.
Human blood.
Fresh, tantalizing male human blood, spilling quickly and pumping with adrenaline.
Oh, dammit.
I struggled with myself for a moment, fiercely fighting the part of me that longed to drink the human blood. It smelled so wonderful, like a feast to a starving woman. But I would not do it, of course I wouldn't. This human, this young man had a life, unlike me, and I wasn't going to take that away. Anyway, what would Carlisle say?
As I reflected later, the best thing to do right then would have been to turn heel and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But of course, being curious, I didn't.
I followed the man's scent.
As I ran nearer and nearer, I could catch a different, blander smell. It was the smell of a bear, a mature bear, and I could tell from the smell of its blood that it was currently experiencing fight-or-flight mode. Apparently, it had chosen fight.
It only took me another 30 seconds to find them. They were in a clearing, which just made it harder for me. There was no smell of wood to mar the human's heady scent.
The bear was big, as big as a doorway, and black. It was leaning over its prey menacingly, loosing an aggressive snarl.
I moved slightly so I could get a look at the man. He had been torn badly by the bears claws, the longest mark stretched from his shoulder to his stomach. There were other random gashes on his legs and arms, and a scratch along his jaw. His right leg was torn badly as well, but this time I saw teeth marks.
For some reason, this was the sight that set me off.
Before the bear knew what was happening, I was in front of it, crouching defensively over the man. I growled low, a warning growl that managed to be both protective and threatening.
The animal, angry at this turn of events, snarled at me and bared its teeth in challenge. I immediately responded, lunging at the bear's throat. It took a step back and tried to scratch my face, but I dodged easily. At the same time, I sent my fist crushing into its side.
My opponent seemed to realize that it was easily outmatched; it turned to run. But that bear was too late, it was already marked for death. I lunged once more, exuding all of my strength into this attack.
It was dead in less than a second.
I didn't even drink from it, though I was dying of thirst. I returned to the human, and knelt to see if he was still alive. I scrutinized his face, and I was shocked at the reaction it brought from me.
My jaw dropped and I stared in fascination; if I had still been human, my heart would be jumping out of my chest from beating so hard. As I looked into this man's face, there was only word to describe what I was thinking:
Beautiful.
He was so handsome, but I knew that wasn't what made me feel this way, because I had seen better looking men than he—I was a vampire, wasn't I? What was wrong with me?
As I looked over his broken body, smelled his weak blood and heard his shuddering breaths, I knew that he was going to die. And even the thought of this was enough to send me into a panic such as I had never experienced before. "No," I muttered out loud.
No.
At that moment, nothing else mattered, not Carlisle or Esme or Edward or me or life itself, compared to the knowledge that This man could not be allowed to die.
A solution to this monumental problem presented itself to me:
Change him.
But I knew I couldn't do it, I had never changed anyone before and I felt like I was dying of thirst by just being near him. If I got even the smallest taste of his blood, I knew that he would be done. And I couldn't let that happen!
I reminded myself to keep calm, and was instantly reminded of Carlisle.
Carlisle.
In that moment, I made the decision that would alter both the man's and my fates forever. I would carry him home to Carlisle. Carlisle would save him. Maybe I was being selfish, maybe Edward was right and I would go to hell for doing this, but I would do it.
For me, there was no other option.
Gently, I picked the man up and held him in my arms. He groaned at the movement, and I didn't know how to comfort him. How do you calm down a particularly attractive human whose name you don't know and who is about to die if you don't doom him to immortality? "Shhh," I soothed in my most peaceful voice. I began to run, still whispering to him.
"It's alright, it's going to be alright."
His eyes fluttered open at the sound of my voice. I could see how close he was to falling unconscious, but his eyes widened. "Angel," he murmured. "Oh my God, it's an angel."
Pleasure shot through my cold body at my human's words.
Angel.
I ran faster than I had ever run before, the element of fear spurring me on. I didn't understand why this human meant so much to me, but he did. And right then, that was all that mattered.
I felt his heartbeat slowing, his blood was thinning, getting weaker. No, this wasn't happening! My brain was running as fast as my legs, searching frantically for something that could help me. But I found nothing.
Could Carlisle help me? No, he was at home, too far away.
Esme? At home. Too far.
Edward. Edward had his little mind-reading thing going on, but how would that help? Then suddenly I had it.
Edward had told me his hearing radius was about five miles. Was I that close?
EDWARD! EDWARD CULLEN! I screamed mentally.
EDWARD, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME HELP! PLEASE! GET CARLISLE!
I took in my surroundings and focused on them, knowing that if he could hear me then he would see where I was. All the while, I was running as fast as I could.
About a minute later, I caught Edward's scent. I nearly sobbed with relief.
And suddenly he was next to me, trying to take the human from my arms. I wouldn't let him. "Rosalie, what—" he looked at me, surprise and worry both coloring his features.
I tried quickly to explain it to him, knowing that he would never understand.
I found him while I was about to hunt, he was nearly killed by a bear, I killed the bear, I can't let him die Edward, Carlisle needs to change him.
"But why?" Edward asked. "Rose, he's a human. I thought you didn't care…" he trailed off as he read my thoughts. I didn't know exactly what I had been thinking, but apparently they communicated my feelings, because his face was suddenly full of understanding—and then fascination. I wondered why.
He's going to die, Edward, I thought desperately. Please, please get Carlisle. I don't really understand it either, but if he dies… I trailed off, looking wildly into his eyes.
He frowned, probably noting that my eyes were pitch black. "Carlisle's right behind me. And you need to hunt. Now." He tried to lift the man from my arms again, but I growled savagely, baring my teeth. My thoughts must have been pleading enough for him to remain calm, because he didn't seem angry at my display.
Both of us heard Carlisle approach at the same time. His face was incredibly confused, and he was looking to me for the explanation. "Carlisle—I am sorry, but he's dying. Please. I can't do it, I'm not as strong as you," I begged.
The human's eyes opened again. They were a light, warm brown, I realized. As he muttered something unintelligible, I hushed him again. Tenderly, I touched his face, and his eyes closed.
I looked up to Carlisle, whose own eyes were filled with compassion. "I will do it," he stated. "I may regret it one day, but I will do it for you, Rosalie." I looked back into my father's eyes humbly. "Thank you," I murmured.
This time, when Edward reached for the man, I gave him willingly. "Hurry," I urged.
He was dying!
Carlisle was very still for a moment, looking at my human with an apologetic expression. Then he seemed to take a deep breath of preparation, and bit into the human's neck. I winced as I heard the whimpers of pain, watching as my father gave him another strategically placed bite.
Edward's eyes were hooded. "He thinks you're an angel," he whispered. I knew who he was talking about, and I felt that strange feeling I had felt the first time I looked at my human--like a faint tugging at my heartstrings.
I just looked at him, but I thought, Thank you, brother.
He nodded and said, "You need to hunt."
I growled softly, and he shook his head. "Rose, Carlisle will take care of him. It will only take you a few hours." After a moment of thought, I nodded. I walked over to my human, and knelt beside Carlisle, who was at his side. "I will be back," I whispered, my pale fingers stroking his hair.
And as I turned away and disappeared into the forest, I noticed that his face as I had said those words had been so beautiful—heavenly.
My angel.