She trips over her own feet in her haste to get beyond the door of the hospital section of the Ark. Rubbing at her face, she freezes at the sight of the blood smeared across her fingers. She chokes back a sob and dashes over to the sinks. They don't have running water yet, but they do have buckets of river water. Frantically scrubbing her hands, she can feel them starting to burn, her breath hitches repeatedly to stop the onslaught of tears and sobs.

They lost another one of their people today- it has become a regular occurrence. Clarke had grown somewhat immune to the ravages of war with its high body count and no clear winners. Unfortunately, life on Earth during these peaceful times is no walk in the park either. Losing people to senseless small injuries or viruses is beyond anyone's control – it is beyond Clarke's control and it is beginning to tear her apart.

Brushing away the tears, she hurries out of the door, not taking note of her surroundings, as she escapes to her room.

Bellamy watches Clarke from just outside the hospital. He had come to see if she was ready to grab some lunch. Recently he has noticed changes within her that have unsettled him, so he is trying to be around more for her. She is starting to look haggard, as though she has not been sleeping. She has noticeably lost weight- well, he noticed it, but then again, he did spend a lot of his time watching Clarke. She has also gotten really quiet- she's laughing less, smiling less and he can't remember the last time she initiated a conversation.

He let her rush by, she looked so lost and did not see him standing there waiting for her- It didn't look like she was seeing anything in her haste to escape. He needs to do something, he needs to find out what is going on with Clarke and help her fix it. Life does not work for him in any good way without Clarke having his back and him having hers.

He heads for the canteen to grab them both some lunch and then it will be time to deal with whatever crisis Clarke is going through.

xXx

Clarke crashes through her door into her small cabin. A single room within the Ark had been assigned to her - it isn't much but it is hers. She usually feels at peace within these four walls. It is full of her things - things that she had gathered in her three-month walkabout. Her art supplies that she hoarded and her paintings and drawings that she uses to keep her sane. None of that is giving her any relief now. Her skin is crawling, as though a million tiny ants were running up and down her arms and spine. Her heart is racing and her breath stuttering. She sits heavily down on the side of her bed and drops her head between her knees- doing her best to calm her breathing.

There is a loud knock at her door. "Clarke. I got us some lunch."

She doesn't immediately answer - she's not sure that she can. It's taking all of her concentration just to keep her breathing slow and not give into the panic that is threatening to take over.

She hears the door opening, but can't look up.

Bellamy walks in without her answering him – patience is not one of Bellamy's traits, so he never waits for an invitation. She would laugh, but she doesn't – too afraid that it would quickly turn into sobs.

She concentrates on her breathing and the sounds within the room. He doesn't speak at first, but she hears his feet moving into the room and the sound of metal scraping across the table. Moments later, she feels his hands on her shoulders and she can see his feet and then his knees appearing in front of her feet.

"Clarke," he says, rubbing his hands up and down her back, "tell me what's wrong with you?"

She chokes back a sob at the concern in his voice. She shakes her head. She wants to tell him. Bellamy above anyone else would understand how she's feeling, but she just can't at the moment. If she speaks, she will cry, if she cries she might not stop - ever.

Bellamy doesn't interpret this as a brush off, but continues to asking questions that she can answer without words.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" She shakes her head, still looking intently on the ground between her feet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She nods her head slowly. This gives him pause and there's a few moments of silence before he speaks again.

"Are you unable to talk about it at the moment?" She nods again- it almost makes her happy that he knows her so well.

"Do you want to try getting some sleep and we'll talk later?" She nods again in relief. Once she is calm, she is sureshe'll be able to talk.

The relief is short lived as he gets up from his knees. Her hand is out grabbing at his jacket before she can stop herself.

"Hey, hey- " he says, wrapping his hands around her head and kissing her crown. "I'm only going to make sure no one disturbs us. Then I'll be right back."

She sinks back over her knees and waits for him to return.

She is lost in a hazy cloud of exhaustion when the shuffle of his boots through her door brings her back to consciousness. He's kneeling before her again, undoing her laces and removing her boots and socks. He toes off his boots and she can hear the sounds of clothes being tossed onto the chair beside the bed.

"Come on Clarke. I know you're not catatonic, so lose the jeans."

She stands, fumbles with her button and zip before managing to push her jeans down her legs. She shuffles over to the chair and tosses them on top of his pile of clothes. She is not ready to look at him, she knows that the concern and affection in his eyes would just undo her. He seems to understand and just grasps her hand and pulls her back to the bed. She watches as he pulls the covers back and gets in. He shuffles to the back and holds the covers up for her. Lying down beside him, with her back to him, so grateful for his understanding, she pulls his arm around her giving his hand a squeeze to try and relay her thanks.

He pulls her against his warm chest. "Sleep now. We'll talk later," he says with a kiss against her temple. For the first time in what seems like forever, she feels safe, warm and calm. She sinks into Bellamy's warmth and allows herself to do as she's told. It takes only moments for her to let the world slip away.

xXx

Late in the night, when Clarke finally wakes up, there is still a warm solid body wrapped around hers and she finds that her heart is finally beating normally again. She stretches out her legs and her arms - the ants are gone too.

Maybe it is time to talk.

She slowly turns in Bellamy's arms and isn't too surprised to find him looking down at her with his dark familiar eyes. He doesn't speak, but just calmly watches and waits- it's her turn to do the talking.

"I don't know what's wrong," she begins hesitantly. "I can't eat, it makes me feel sick. I can't sleep. My brain seems to be on all the time.

"What happened today?" He asks.

She remembers back to earlier, the ant crawling, the hand scrubbing. "We lost another patient. An internal bleed that we hadn't noticed straight away. We did find it, but it was too late. Well, it was too late down here- Not enough anaesthetic, no spare blood. They'd have probably made it on the Ark."

"Was it someone we know?" he asks, concern bleeding into his calm voice.

"No, not one of ours." Both knowing that "Ours" means the original 100.

"Do you always feel like this when someone dies?"

She stares at him, puzzled - What is he trying to do?

He understands her look without her saying anything. "This isn't like you. You're always so in control. We need to figure out what's changed. And I want to help."

She nods. It is a good plan and anyway, her coping mechanisms have not been working, that's for sure.

"Okay, so no. Usually I can clinically understand what has happened, what has gone wrong. I would work towards stopping this from occurring again."

"So what is stopping you?"

"I don't know." She pauses and tries to turn into words how she is feeling. "It feels like I can't control it. That nothing I do will stop it from happening again. Every case that comes into the clinic is a potential death sentence. Even something as stupid as standing on a nail. We don't have enough drugs and supplies, not even the basics and it's killing our people. And I can't shut it out. Every weeping sore, every insect sting, every freaking cold has my insides churning." She sobs, her breath hiccuping again- the ants are back. She grasps tightly onto his arms trying to bring back the calm.

Pulling her against his chest, he tightly grabs her hair and tugs painfully so that she can't do anything other than stare into his eyes. The painful tug focuses her on him- The tight pull on her hair, the warm clasp of his hand on her back, his hard chest against her breasts, his leg between her thighs.

"Breathe, Clarke," he demands. She draws in a big breath and slowly lets it out. "That's it. Just breathe, slowly in and slowly out." He breathes in sync with her, allowing her to follow his rhythm- The panic finally starts to recede.

"You're stressed out. I think that it's all become too much and you have to know how to let it go." Her breathing has calmed, so he gently places her head against his chest and continues talking into her hair. "You've reached a breaking point and each new patient just pushes you closer and closer to the edge. You need to learn that there are some things the mighty Clarke doesn't have control over." She huffs against his shirt, she can hear the smirk in his voice.

"I know. I find it hard to believe too." He chuckles into her hair. "I think you need to learn to lose control. To let it all go and allow someone else to look after you."

"I'm not sure a back rub is going to fix this," she whispers into his chest.

"Yeah I think you're right," he replies and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

"Clarke, look at me." She pulls back to look up at him. "Do you trust me?" He is so serious and concerned.

"Yes." As if the answer could be anything else.

"Okay good. I think I have a plan. It's a bit extreme, but I think if you let me take control, it will allow you to completely de-stress and if-if-" she watches as the blush starts to spread up his neck and across his cheeks and she's intrigued, "you're, uh, comfortable with it, it will feel fantastic, too." By the time he is finished talking, his ears are bright red.

"Okay. Tell me more." She is very interested, but she is not sure exactly what he is getting at, but if it can get confident, experienced Bellamy to blush, then Clarke is all in. She can already feel the tingling of arousal between her legs, unconsciously grinding against his leg that's between her thighs.

xXx

It takes Bellamy a couple of days to get everything arranged. He wants them both to have some time off, some time that he can devote to Clarke exclusively. He even talked Lincoln into allowing them to use his cave.

It is just after lunch when he turns up at the hospital to collect Clarke. She has been on tender hooks all day, knowing that they were leaving today, but not knowing anything about the exact details of his plan. He has kept much of it to himself, which had at first frustrated her (she's so used to control), but he'd not let her stew about it. Each day he touched her more - hand on her back when they talked, fingers touching when passing plates and food, lips grazing ears when he whispered some of his plans for her. His whispers were teasing, nothing succinct. Just whispers of how he is looking forward to getting her on her knees. How he loves watching her ass as she walks away. How she is going to feel so good and tight around him.

She's already a lot less stressed than she had been - she is not healed, but at night she has been allowing herself to leave her work in the hospital, not to forget, but to put it to the back of her mind. It is easier to achieve when she conjures up his touches and his voice teasing her.

When he finally arrives at the hospital with a couple of packs and some weapons, it is all she can do not to skip out the door.

"Clarke!" She stops and turns to look at her mum. "Two days. Radio if you need us."

Her mum had been reluctant to allow them to leave camp without supervision but Bellamy had persuaded her. Clarke has not asked what he had said, but her mum had reduced her hours in the hospital and had agreed to the time away. She is relieved enough that she did not question either of them.

xXx

It took a good couple of hours hiking to arrive at the cave. Bellamy [had] been there the previous day and dropped off supplies, gathered firewood and cleaned out the cave.

"Is this Lincoln's cave?" she asks when they finally arrive.

"Yes and now it's our escape for the next two days." He says with a smile- A smile that lights up his eyes. He lights the torch just inside the entrance to the cave and grabs her hand as he walks backwards, leading her inside.

It doesn't take long to unpack and get the cave warmed up. They eat and chat about nothing. Soon Clarke can barely keep her eyes open. The weeks of little sleep and poor appetite have crept up on her, so now she is relaxed and all she wants is sleep.

"Come on Princess, time to sleep." She whimpers in protest, mumbling about plans, which has Bellamy chuckling into her neck as he carries her over to the wide makeshift bed.

She tries to help with her clothes, but he just bats her hands away. "What did I tell you?" he asks, pulling off her boots and socks.

Her mind is fuzzy, but she remembers one thing that he's been repeating over the past couple of days. "I need to let it all go," she mumbles.

"That's right. You need to let it all go and let me take care of you and that includes removing your clothes. So hands off, you're all mine," he tells her, learning over her and sucking gently on her bottom lip.

Her mouth opens with a low groan - I could really get used to this, she thinks. Her hands slide up round his neck and she pulls him down into a deeper kiss, lips sucking lips, tongues dancing around each other. If she wasn't so tired she'd be demanding more from him.

He pulls back, kissing her nose. "Not tonight. Tonight we sleep," he tells her, pulling off her jeans and then undressing himself. "Tomorrow we explore and tomorrow night you'll be a good girl and do everything I say." They lie pressed tightly together, her back to his front, in the surprisingly comfortable bed on the floor.

"Yes, sir," she mumbles as sleep pulls her under.

xXx

They have the best day. It is just the two of them in the forest. They gather herbs, they hunt lunch, Clarke does some sketching in the small sketchbook that Bellamy had bashfully presented her with this morning.

They are together all day, completely in sync. They talk about family, about life on the Ark. They avoid the bad memories and just discuss the happy and funny times. Throughout the day though, there is this underlying tension. Not one that has Clarke on edge or feeling panicked, but one that has her feeling flushed and tingling. More than once, during the day, she has caught him staring at her with a smirk on his face- his eyes dark and hooded. It sparks an immediate response from her body- heat flushing up her chest and neck, nipples pebbling and saliva pooling in her mouth. Each time, she has to swallow which seems to break the spell and they move on as though nothing has happened.

By the time they make it back to the cave in the late afternoon, it has started to get dark and Clarke can't think of anything other than Bellamy- His lips, his smirk, his unruly hair, his golden toned stomach and even how big his hands are. She is so ready for whatever he has planned that she doesn't want food- she just wants him.

As though he can sense it, Bellamy takes control as soon as they enter the cave. "Princess, I think we need to start your training now." She's bouncing on the balls of her feet, rubbing her hands together at this announcement. "There are three rules for tonight." He watches her, waiting for her agreement. She nods. "Rule one- You will do everything I say without question." Clarke can already feel the heat pooling low in her belly, she is not sure if she has ever been this turned on.

"Rule two- You will only speak if asked a direct question and rule three- you need a safe word." She raises her eyebrow, staring at him- she trusts him. Why would she need a safe word? "Trust me, Princess. Tonight I'm going to push you, I'm going to take you out of your comfort zone and I need to know that you're okay with it. So pick a word that you'll remember and if you say it I'll know you want me to stop."

"Rome!" she blurts out. "Umm, yeah...Rome, that's my word," she says with a grin.

He smiles back at her. "Now go and sit and relax for a few, while I get a fire on. We begin as soon as you've sat down." She turns and walks toward the bed- the only real seating in the cave. "And Clarke..." He pauses until she turns back to him. "I forgot rule four. Do you know what rule four is?" She presumes she's allowed to speak, since he asked a question. "No, sir."

"Well, my Princess, rule four is..." He saunters over to her and brings her head up for a brief kiss, while brushing her hair behind her ear. Ghosting his lips over her uncovered ear, he rasps in a low voice, "If you disobey rules one or two, you will get punished."

Clarke is cemented to the spot where he left her, every inch of her body on fire- She's is about to combust. Bellamy though, is busy whistling a nondescript tune and lighting a fire.

She pretty sure she'll not need the extra heat, if the rest of the night is as sinfully hot as the past five minutes were.