Disclaimer: I do not own the copyright of Gravitation, or the characters of Yuki Eiri and Shindou Shuichi
Gravitation Pairing: Yuki Eiri x Shindou Shuichi
Warning: Straight from the tree (can't get any sappier); and yes, it's another fic involving the double meaning of "reflection" while the character stands in front of a mirror
Love, from Yuki's Point-of-View: Not Today
Yuki assessed his reflection in the mirror with a critical eye honed by daily practice. Despair and hard-living had taken their toll, certainly; however, the lines in his forehead were still relatively faint and the silver strands in his hair were still relatively few.
He lifted his cigarette and dragged at it absently. That the lines weren't deeper could be attributed to Shuichi's efforts—which consisted of frequent reminders to stop frowning and smoothing them with a caressing finger if Yuki didn't listen. He was quite fit, too, due to Shuichi's involvement in his exercise regimen, wholesome and otherwise. Yuki could not think of an explanation for why his hair wasn't entirely white from living with that very same Shuichi day-in and day-out.
All right. Back to the point. So perhaps his outward appearance had not yet changed significantly enough to affect any physical attraction Shuichi had for him. For the time being.
Inwardly, though—here he knew he had changed, and it worried him a little more each time he did this. He wasn't the same man, broken by self-loathing, Shuichi had fallen in love with. That love had saved him, but the flip-side of that coin was that he no longer had debilitating pain for Shuichi to heal, and he no longer withheld anything for Shuichi to draw out of him. No more challenge and no more mystery.
To add to that problem, happiness was gradually taking its toll on him as well: he was a little more affectionate, a little less aloof…he had become positively soft from it, in his opinion. Too much softer and Shuichi would think him nice. Unfortunately, "nice" was hardly a quality to inspire passion and Yuki treasured Shuichi's passion; it was one of his few redeeming qualities, despite a tendency to manifest in over-emotional outbursts. Yet even being aware of all of this, he could no more stop himself than he could stop an avalanche already in motion.
The cigarette bore the brunt of his annoyance with himself as he stubbed it out in the ashtray. He gave Shuichi everything he had by loving him—at what point might Shuichi realize it was no longer enough?
Anticipating it, he had begun staring at his image in the mirror on a regular basis and reflecting on his emotional slippage in morbid fascination.
"Yuki! I'm home!" Shuichi called, and Yuki had just enough time to turn toward him before being enveloped in an enthusiastic hug. Yuki allowed himself the briefest of moments to relax in the embrace before pulling away.
"You're early. Did K kick you out because the lyrics weren't done?" Yuki started for his study, even though he didn't need to start on a new book just yet.
"I finished them last night!" Shuichi insisted, and launched into his typical hyperactive babble about Bad Luck's antics in the studio as he half-skipped, half-bounced down the hall alongside Yuki. His angst receded in the normalcy of irritation with Shuichi, just as it always did.
And as he lay in bed with Shuichi curled tight against him in the dark, he gave a little sigh of relief. It might all come to an end tomorrow, or next month, or years from now. But not today.
A/N: I should be working on my Prince of Tennis fic, since months have passed since my last update. But here this is instead… Now that the dust of my life has settled somewhat, maybe this will jumpstart the writing momentum again. In any case, I do have a second-part in mind for this one and hope to get to it soon.
So what did you think of this non-previewed, possibly rushed first part? Let me know, please!