Les Deux Hommes
Meaning of the title: The Two Men. 'Les Deux Hommes' is actually a Canadian song about two men who raise a child together. Those of you who understand French, feel free to check it out, it's on Youtube ;-)
This will be Thorin/Bilbo, as well as Dwalin/Ori later on. I also have someone in mind for Kili, though I won't say who – feel free to request other pairings, I'll try to work them in. I will NOT do Durincest though, nor incest of any kind for that matter. I also won't write smut – I don't feel confident enough in English to write this (cf note at the end), and I know personally some of my reviewers, whom I couldn't look in the face again if they read smut written by me.
The characters in this are all human, so there won't be Mpreg either; I find amusing the theory that male Hobbits can bear children, though I have trouble seeing where the fœtus develops; but as I have yet to see a pregnant man, no Mpreg in this.
Disclaimer: The title isn't mine, as I said; neither are any characters you may recognize from the book/movie.
Summary: When Frodo's parents die in a boat accident, it's up to Bilbo, as next of kin, to take care of the seven-years-old boy. But his relatives, the Sackville-Baggins, don't think a homosexual is fit to raise a child, and fight him for custody. It's up to Thorin, the social worker, to determine what is best for little Frodo.
This story is dedicated to my dear friend allan, who has been waiting for this for weeks.
Chapter 1: Receiving Bad News
Putting his book down on the table, Bilbo asked, "Now, who can tell me what the flaws were in Richelieu's plan?"
His students shared unsure looks, no one raising his hand to answer. Pr Baggins sighed; was it so difficult to analyse what you were reading? Finally, a young red-haired girl raised her hand tentatively.
"Yes, Miss Tauriel?"
"It was complicated?"
"That's one of the flaws, yes," Bilbo nodded. "The best plans are the simple ones. Can someone else remind me what he wanted to do?"
Only Tauriel made a move to answer, but he shook his head. "I'd like your classmates to try and find the answer themselves, Miss – if only to prove they were actually listening, and didn't come to class only to find warmth..."
He spotted a young boy who obviously wasn't paying any attention, busy as he was drawing something in his notebook.
"Mister Ori, are you by any chance drawing D'Artagnan?"
Blushing, Ori Murray looked up and shook his head negatively.
"I'm afraid I'm not, sir, but I do know the answer to your question. Cardinal Richelieu wanted to thwart the peace negotiations between France and England."
"Indeed, and why was that?"
"Because King Louis was young, and Richelieu believed if there was a war, he could take the power from him, sir," Ori replied with confidence.
"Correct. I appreciate that you were following, Mister Ori, but please be kind enough to draw only in your free time, or during art classes. Maybe your friend Kili can now tell me what would have been simpler to achieve the Cardinal's goal?" Bilbo asked, startling the young man who had been chatting with another boy.
"I'm afraid I don't even know what goal that was, Mister Boggins," Kili replied with a cheeky grin, and his teacher had to repress a smile of his own; the young man's cheerful manners were infectious. Forcing himself to scowl, he said, "I'll advise you to pay more attention to what I say, Mister Kili, for next time you can't tell what the class was talking about, it will cause you more homework. And my name is Baggins, as you full know," he added, though knowing it was useless – Kili Nolan-Durin, just like his brother before, had taken to call him Mr Boggins teasingly. He turned his attention to the class.
"If you read the part where Lord Buckingham arrives at Versailles, you'll realise he is all but saying that the King of France's attire is out-fashioned. While it might be acceptable to say that to a friend of yours, saying this to the King is an insult. Considering insulting D'Artagnan's horse was cause to a duel, it shouldn't be a surprise to learn that insulting the King is cause to a war. All Richelieu had to do was to point that out..."
He was then interrupted by the ringing of his phone, which made him frown; the few persons who had that number knew they mustn't call him while at work.
"I'm sorry, children, but I have to answer; it's probably an emergency. I'll make it as short as I can."
Leaving the room, he picked up his phone. "Yes?"
"Is this Mr Baggins?" an unknown voice asked.
"Yes, I'm Bilbo Baggins," he replied impatiently. "Who's on the phone?"
"I'm officer Nori Murray. I'm sorry to say that your cousin, Drogo Baggins, and his wife Primula were involved in a ferry accident earlier today. They were taken to the hospital, but unfortunately they didn't make it there."
Bilbo's free hand shot up to his mouth; inside the room, the few students who could see him from where they were seated started whispering with their classmates, wondering what was happening. Drogo and Primula... dead... Drogo, who'd been like a brother for him... Bilbo had been his best man at their wedding, a few years ago... He'd been there when Frodo had been born... Frodo... The policeman hadn't mentioned Frodo.
"What about their son?" he asked feverishly. "They have-had a son, Frodo, he's seven years old..."
"That's part of the reason why I'm calling you... You are the closest relative to the family, and as such, the boy's custody goes to you, if you agree to take him in..."
"Wha... yes, of course I agree! I'm not going to leave this lad alone!"
"Then you need to pick him up at his school, sir... and we need someone to identify the bodies..."
Bilbo put a hand on the wall to brace himself; was this man asking him to bring a boy of seven to see two corpses and confirm they were his parents?
"I'll come identify my cousins," he said, his voice shaking. "I know where Frodo goes to school, I picked him up a few times in the past..."
The policeman told him where the bodies were kept, before hanging up. Looking at the time, Bilbo cursed; he had fifteen minutes before his young cousin left school. The man came back into the classroom, to see thirty faces looking at him with worry.
"I'm sorry, everyone, but I have to end the class early today. You don't have homework for the next time."
"Is everything alright, Mr Boggins?" Kili asked worriedly.
"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," the teacher answered, keeping his voice as firm as he could. "I just have an emergency."
Alright, this is it for now, people. Don't expect regular updates; I also have a translation to work on, and exams to prepare IRL. I fully intend to pursue and finish this story, though – but I can't tell you how long it'll be. I have a vague idea of where I want this to go, but that's all.
Next chapter, Bilbo has to tell Frodo his parents aren't coming back...
Also, please keep in mind that I'm French, and English isn't my first language, so I might make a few mistakes here and there since I work with no beta; my usual beta isn't into Thilbo at all, so I don't want to burden her with this story. In short, if you see any mistakes, even apparently obvious ones, please be kind enough to point them to me without flaming. You'll help me get better.
Any flames will be deleted, but constructive criticism is always welcome.