Control

I woke up with a jolt. Sitting up quickly as the blood rushed back through my body. My eyes scanned the room searching for him. He sat in the rocking chair in the corner.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Edward asked sounding concerned.

"You're real!" I rejoiced and threw myself across the room into his lap. He tensed under me and his hands grabbed my upper arm tightly I could feel his uneven breath. I slowly unattached myself from Edward and his hands mechanically unclasped me. Edward's head was bowed and his face twisted in pain as his eyes turned a coal black. Edward stood from the chair quickly causing it to rock rapidly. I could tell he was trying to run but instead his knees buckled under him causing him to hit the floor.

Edward was panting a hand grasping at his chest the other scratching into the floor. "Run, Bella." Edward growled at me. I could hear him loosing control and loosing the fight with himself. I knew I should have started running but I couldn't. I was frozen I place as I watched Edward crumple in agony on the floor.

"Edward." I whispered his name gently. I thought quickly of a story I had never told him for a distraction. "When I was younger my grandparents owned a beach cabin. I loved it there. The water was viewable from the deck at the front of the cabin. It wasn't big, just three rooms. Two of which were on the first floor along with a kitchen and a living room. There was just one room above on the second floor. It had the best view. Often I would fall asleep on that balcony listening to the waves that crashed on the shore."

"Do you still go there?" Edward asked his voice less tense and more in control by me distracting him. I looked down to see he still hadn't moved from his position but was now still.

"I haven't been there since my grandparents died. My mom sold it after that though I pleaded with her." I smiled down at him. "I still dream of going there." Edward sighed and stood up careful to keep his distance.

"I am very sorry, Bella." Edward whispered to me. I walked slowly to him cautioning him with my eyes.

"It's fine." I told him lifting my arms to put my hands on his face to lift it to my eyes. Edward brought his hands to my upper arm tracing the purple bruises that he had caused moments ago.

"I hurt you." He whispered in anguish.

"Edward, it's fine." I said pushing his hands away from my arms and pulling them to my face.

"You shouldn't forgive me! This is why I left, Bella!" Edward raised his voice trying to convince me. "I'm a monster." His voice dimmed down at the last sentence.

"Edward it is not your fault-" He cut me off.

"Yes it is, Bella. I should be able to resist, able to restrain from hurting you, but this is what happens." Edward's voice was angry but I knew the anger was not at me.

"You should also ride on the back of a unicorn to the land of leprechauns." I said sarcastically. "Edward you can't do everything. Sometimes even a vampire needs practice."

"Then practice I will." Edward said kissing me softly on the cheek. "Bella, would you mind if I hunt today? I will only be gone for a little while."

"That's fine. I will take a shower, maybe do some laundry." My stomach growled. "And I will do some hunting of my own."

Edward smiled, "Alright, love. I will be back." Edward kissed the top of my forehead and was gone. I smiled as I ran down to the shower.