Dear Muraki…
Written by graffiti
11/26/2002
Disclaimers: Dun own Yami no Matsuei, dun own Muraki, blah blah blah.
I know that this idea's been around for a long time, but the idea of writing this fic was just too much to resist ^_^ I'll note that I haven't seen the manga yet, so some things may not fit the storyline of YnM. Pls forgive, minna-sama.
Warnings for OOCness and shonen-ai/yaoi ( Muraki/Tasuki, Hisoka/Tasuki) apply here.
Dear Muraki:
Why is it that you admire Tsuzuki so much? Is he that good? I mean, he's cute and all that but there are other men out there! What's wrong about people like Tatsumi, or Hisoka?
-RandomYnMFan
Dear RandomYnMFan:
It is my own business that I am interested in Tsuzuki, and I do not feel obliged to tell you more, but since I was forced into doing this pathetic job by those fools who call themselves "directors", I have no other choice, and I will have to fulfill your stupid curiosity.
Yes, I _admire_ Tsuzuki, if that's the word you want to use, and yes, one reason is because he is damn good under the covers. Hisoka is merely a play toy for me for stress relief.
And if you ask me, men are all stupid creatures. Except for Tsuzuki.
un-dear muraki
you're a psycho and you're evil i hate you stay away from tsuzuki-chan111
curse you
Dear Curse You:
Before I reply you, I would like to inform you of something more meaningful. You know a key on the left side of the letter 'a' on your keyboard? It's called the Caps Lock key. Use it. And I believe the numbers at the end of the sentence were meant to be "!!!", correct? There's another key below Caps Lock that might prove useful to you..
I hate you too, and thank you for the compliments.
Muraki:
Why do you almost always appear with a rose? It's like you want to be Tuxedo Mask or something. Why not choose another flower of your own style? Daisies are nice.
-Tuxmask4eva
Dear Disillusioned:
It's in my script Go ask the script writers. Do you think I like posing around with a piece of useless green and red flesh? I don't even like red. It's too energetic and sugary for my cool-as-ice-murderer image. I wouldn't touch that stuff if it wasn't required for my role.
Don't try to bribe me with your idiotic Daisy ideas. It's absurd. And I never liked Tuxedo Mask. Let me tell you this; people who float over the city in a tuxedo with roses pasted all over themselves and think that makes them look handsome are unaware of how ugly they actually are. They /aren't/ cool.
Dear Muraki-sama:
I want to tell you that I love you SO much! I think you're so cool! The way you smirk when you're torturing someone is so irresistible! And the other day at the mall, I saw you staring at the pink teddy bear in the toy store's window, and I thought you liked it so I bought it for you. And I've noticed that you usually brush your teeth at precisely 8:47:47 AM every day! Why is that? Do you like the number 47? Oh, oh, may I have one of your autographed photos? Please????????? And may you be kind enough to give me your phone number too? Please?
P.S: Pleeeeeease???
-Hugs and Kisses XXXXXXXXX
Dear Stalker:
So you are the one who has been stalking me for the past 2 months. I appreciate your concern and care for me, but looking through my bedroom window with a telescope from the apartment across the street 24/7, installing spy cameras at every corner of my house and following me wherever I go aren't quite the best things to do to someone who you truly admire Stop it.
I would have considered giving you an autographed photo though, but unfortunately even my anime company has run out of stock for the past 6 months. As to giving you my phone number: NO.
P.S: I've plucked out all the spy video cameras from the walls of my house. If you would like them back, I have put them all in a box by the guardhouse. And while you're there, give me back my house keys.
And if you ever say anything about the teddy incident again, I will seriously crack your scull.
Dear Muraki:
The reply you gave me is confusing. Aren't you a man too?
-RandomYnMFan
Dear RandomYnMFan
Yes. And your point is?
Muraki:
Stay away from Tsuzuki. Do you think he enjoys being pursued by a sick doctor like you every time of the day and night? He's got his own handful of issues to deal with, so stop making his life more miserable than it already is!
Fuck off!!! I don't know what kind of fun do you see in torturing and killing poor innocent people, and putting curses on cute young boys to ruin their lives!!!!!
-GreenEyedBrunette16bishie
Dear Hisoka:
Next time you write me a letter, remember not to write your name and address on the envelope. It's obvious enough with your choice of lousy pen names.
I'm not a sick doctor. I'm just plain evil. It's my job to kill people and mess around with Tsuzuki's mind. As if you don't know.
P.S: If you feel like attempting to take revenge on me again, I'll be at Sharielle Café tomorrow morning at nine. See you there! *smirk*
Dear Muraki:
......................................................................
......................................................................
-RandomYnMFan
Dear RandomYnMFan
Stop sending letters to me. You're starting to creep me out.
Dear Muwaci:
Haw do yu spel yore name?
-Kristofer
Dear "Kristofer":
Hell, try spelling your own bloody name first.
Dear Muraki:
I lost my job because I stayed up too late watching Yami no Matsuei and was late for work the next day. My girlfriend left me for another blonde jerk, my father had a heart attack and passed away, and now no one wants to be with me anymore. My friends won't even listen to me when I ask for help!
I want to destroy the world, Muraki! I want to kill every single person for betraying me! I want REVENGE! Tell me the best way to do it!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
- Destroyer of World and Humanity
Dear Destroyer of World and Humanity:
The best and most effective way to destroy the world, is to see if you can tap into the military system closest to you and use their missiles and bombs for your pleasure. Unfortunately there is a high possibility that you would get caught and thrown in jail in the process. Another alternative would be to kill every human on the planet one by one, my style. If you like I can share some of my high class murdering skills and tactics with you for a fee.
And if all else fails, try jumping off a tall building. Just make sure that you're not jumping off the first floor. Floors of over 15 will do.
P.S: You're Evil. I like you.
Dearest Muraki-sama:
Are you happy now? I've returned the house keys to you! I know you're happy! Aren't you? Ne? Ne? Don't try to hide it!
Muraki-sama, I promise not to tell anyone else about your fascination with stuffed animals. I'm no one else knows about this, even though the shelves of your bedroom and kitchen is filled with Tsuzuki plushies and other teddies and bunnies of different colours instead of those hideous porcelain dolls ^_^ That is so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! I just love cute people like you, Muraki-sama! 333
Muraki-sama, I really, REALLY want your phone number!! I beg you, Muraki-sama!!!!!
P.S: Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXX
-Muraki-chanSmoochie aka Hugs and Kisses
Dear Insane Mind:
…Stop calling me "Muraki-sama". It's disgusting.
I do thank you for finally returning the keys to me, but no, I will not give you my phone number, or my photo, or my toothbrush. You do remember what happened the last time you tried to sneak into my bathroom and steal it, along with my cherry flavoured toothpaste, don't you? Would you like me to let out my dogs again?
By the way, you should be receiving a box of time-bombs from me soon. Tell me if you like them.
Dear Muraki:
Could you just stop following Tsuzuki around?! Well, not that he doesn't enjoy the massages that you give him every night……and those backrubs…and you showing him your godamn sexy hot-- *ahem* Anyway it's still wrong to stalk him! It's annoying and irritating!
-Shinagami-chan
My Dear Tsuzuki:
I'm looking forward to see you again tonight ^_~
Author's ramblings:
Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeee reeevvvviiieeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww……..
This is the first fic I posted at ff.net. Hopefully I'll get good ratings, and then I'll post it up at my homepage ^_^; In other words, this fic is used as a guinea pig.
Mwahwahwahwa.