CRACK
Heero sighed wearily as he collapsed onto his bed, the soft memory foam cradling him in a warm embrace. While the safe-house he and his fellow pilots were hiding in looked rundown, it was well furnished and spacious, each pilot getting his own room. The war was finally taking its toll on the "perfect soldier", and he could feel himself begin to lose faith in the struggle. Not that he'd admit it, of course. What the people needed the most was hope and as a Gundom pilot it was his duty to provide it. Heero closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer to whatever god was out there that he'd be strong enough to continue this war. He had almost found peace when suddenly a explosion sounded from downstairs. Fearing the worst, Heero jumped out the bed and hurried out of the room.
"What the hell?!" Duo's voice shouted from downstairs as, quickly followed by a loud "What the FUCK did you do?!" from Wu-Fei. Heero sped up and headed towards the living room, where it sounded like the voices had come from. When he got there, however, he sincerely wished he had just stayed in bed. Quatre was standing in the middle of the room dressed in the traditional clothing of an Aztec priest with a very dead Trowa laying spread eagle at his feet. Drawn in blood around the two was a large pentagram, the tip of each star marked off with a column of neatly stacked Teddygrams.
"Quatre!" Heero exclaimed in shock, pointing at the blond accusingly, "What are you doing?!"
Quatre looked up at his friends, confusion clear in his eyes. "I have summoned meteor to destroy Midgar and our enemies like Sephie told me to," he remarked innocently.
"That's the power of the Keyblade, believe it dattebayo," Duo explained, giving Heero a thumbs up. "I just remembered that I was in on this plan the whole time."
"Yeah, I am too," Wu-Fei remarked, nodding sagely. "Got it memorized? I didn't, that's why I forgot."
Heero let out a relieved laugh. "Oh, is that all that's going on? For a minute I was worried I'd fall down a well or something."
"Oh you will," Quatre assured him. He walked over and patted Heero on the shoulder, "But that's a different crack fic that was started freshmen year and never touched again."
"Behold! I was never dead!" Trowa shouted triumphantly as he sprang to his feet. He ran over to the bookshelf and started throwing random books onto the ground.
"Like, omg, what are doin'?" Wu-fei inquired in a preppy tone, flicking his wrist.
"Pshoom pshoom! I am activating the trap door!" Trowa explained, "Hurry and use your Pokedex!" He did a fancy spin and touched his nose, causing the floor beneath to open beneath Heero's feet.
"Seven days!!!!" Heero shouted as he feel into the abyss.
"You can never come back...you can never come back...!" Quatre warned.
Lightening flashed, throwing the inhabitants of the house into silhouette before the clouds opened up and God said "I hate you Alfalfa!" Jesus-dono also appeared and shouted "Rejoice in the word of Hojo, for Mother is coming again! Prepare for the Reun--!"
"Hey, I haven't talked in forever!" Duo whined, interrupting Jesus-dono.
"Silence fool!" Jesus-dono shouted, grabbing the nearest sofa and bashing it into the side of Duo's face. He proceeded to beat the body into a bloody pulp before deciding he didn't care anymore and left.
Everybody then died....HUZZAH!
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.