A foul and burning sensation spreads inside of him- a sear of pain wipes his panicked thoughts away and in a brief moment of clarity he thinks bitterly to himself if this is what it feels like to drink boiling tar. Hell, he'd even take boiling tar over whatever this is. He brings his hands up to his mouth and sees a black viscous fluid burst between his fingers.
"I can't breathe. Oh my god, I can't fucking breathe. What the fuck is this shit?" His eyes roll up to the back of his head as the pain takes over. Dimly aware of the scream of pure anger from the man standing next to him.
"This is it. I'm going to die." His last thought echoes as the fluid covers his whole body and contorts him as he's slowly pulled into the mass of it. His clenched fist falls slack as his oxygen deprived brain shuts down. Before he fades into the unknown, a raspy laugh rings out on all sides of him.
"NO!" Katsuki thrashes in his bed and falls to the floor, his legs tightly wrapped in his sweat-soaked bed sheets. The strain of his binds sets him off in a gasping fit.
Ever since being bound by the villains who took off with him last month, restraints put him in a sort of panic. Not being able to do shit, not being able to take care of himself. Not being able to be a hero. He was the sole reason why All Might had to retire early. He feels himself getting dizzy from all of his hyperventilating and he smashes a fist against the wooden floor, sparks of flames dance in the dark room before sputtering out. A fresh wave of panic rushes over him as his fight to get control over his breathing is an apparent losing battle.
The door flings open and Katsuki feels the vibration of hurried footsteps.
"Oh my god, bro! What's happening?!" Katsuki struggles to get up, but his arms don't want to cooperate. A pair of strong hands prop him up quickly and firmly rubs Katsuki's back in small and slow circles.
"Hey, Bakugo, it's okay. Just breathe for me, okay dude? Relax. It was all just a dream." The voice whispers behind him and slowly, very slowly Katsuki gets his breathing under control. He bows his head in shame, even after a month, he's still getting these nightmares every night. They've never been this bad before. Not even his first attack was like that the night after it happened at his house. Damn near burnt down the whole house, his mom was not very pleased to rush into his room and only find it going up in flames.
Boy, did he receive an earful after the fire department left. It's not like he purposely set his room on fire. It's not his fault that he was surrounded with such flammable items. His parents should know that cotton goes up like no other. Maybe they should just have polyester everything throughout the damn house if they're so worried.
"I'm fine, go away." The warm hand retracts but the boy doesn't leave.
"I mean, are you sure you're okay? To be honest, I actually surprised the fire alarm didn't go off. Do you think the batteries are working? Maybe they're dead." Katsuki pushes himself off from the floor and turns around to glare at his red haired neighbor.
"What fucking part of I'm fine do you not understand, dipshit?" Kirishima sighs and puts his hands up in hopes of quelling Katsuki's growing anger.
"Look my dude, I'm just..."
"Just what?" I fucking swear to god, if you say that you're worried for me. I'll blow the stupid dorm to kingdom come. I'll blow you to kingdom come. Hell, I'll even blow myself to fucking kingdom come. Don't need no one's damn stupid pity or damn worry. Kirishima looks into Katsuki's fiery eyes and must've sensed the storm brewing behind them. He shakes his head and smiles at Katsuki.
"I'm just looking out for my friends. And also, like, you kinda woke me up. Can't believe that you didn't wake up Shoji though. Damn, he must be a real heavy sleeper." He pauses "But, you can always talk to me y'know." Katsuki clenches his fists and pushes Kirishima out of his room.
"Nothing is wrong with me. I was just... I was just- it's none of your damn fuckin' business actually. Just leave." He slides the door shut, Kirishima's concerned red eyes are the last thing he sees as the light from the hallway gives way to the darkness of his room.
Katsuki slides down against the wall and holds his head, fingers threatening to tear out his hair. Only now, in the darkness of his room, does he allow himself to cry.
Katsuki always had an air of superiority to himself. Even as a child, his headstrong attitude always pushed him to the top and there was nothing that he couldn't do. Teachers, peers and the elders of his neighborhood always praised him. Stoking his ego that he'll be the best there ever was.
He was going to be the best, dammit. Or so he thought. Up until now, he was so confidant in gaining ranks. Now? Now he isn't so sure. Since his outburst in the middle of the night three days ago, he's refused to sleep. At all.
On the plus side, he's done all the future school work a month in advance. On the negative side, he's been so exhausted that his classmates have started to call him Aizawa Junior. While his eye bags and dark circles are nowhere as prominent as his teacher's they're sure as hell on their way. Oh, and he's pretty sure that he's started to hallucinate, which is cool he guesses.
Just earlier this morning, the whole room started to shift and warp. Immediately thinking that it was Shigaraki coming back to finish the job, he jumped up in the middle of the lesson and promptly freaked the fuck out. Totally reasonable he argued. The teacher seemed to think likewise and sent him to see Recovery Girl. With Kirishima escorting him. Of all people.
Katsuki stalks ahead of him, Kirishima in no rush to catch up.
"Hey."
"Shut up, would ya? No hey. I don't wanna talk about shit. Capiche?" The hem of his sleeve is tugged on and he's brought to a stop. Ruby eyes flashing like daggers. Kirishima doesn't let go of Katsuki's sleeve and stares down at the ground.
"Have... you even gotten sleep since-"
"It's none of ya damn business."
Kirishima's hand tightens and he lifts his gaze from the floor. Katsuki notes something different in his eyes. It was a look he frequently sees in his own reflection. Fierce determination.
"Take a look at yourself dude, you almost gave Present Mic a faceful of fire. Like damn, you can't keep doing this. You're gonna die if you don't get at least some sort of sleep!" Every voice in Katsuki's head screams to rip away from the red head's grasp but instead he doesn't move. He just stares at Kirishima.
"Look here and listen closely because Imma say this only once," He holds up one finger close to Kirishima's face. "I'm not weak. I don't need help-"
"But you do!" Katsuki is taken aback from the sudden outburst from the slightly shorter teen. He opens his mouth to retaliate but Kirishima shakes his head.
"No, it's time for you to listen to me! I can't continue to just do nothing but watch as you slowly just kill yourself over this! You know how unmanly that would be of me?! I came here because I have a heart that cares," He thumps a fist against his chest and he puffs up with pride. "How could I call myself a hero in training if I couldn't even help out one of my friends?! I'd be nothing but a coward. A selfish coward. And I'm not here out of pity," Kirishima states before Katsuki himself could say it. "You're my friend dammit. We need to stick together." Katsuki says nothing, deciding that he's too tired to try to fight with this dumb hardheaded teen. He shoves his hands in the pockets of his pants and turns around.
"Still don't need no damn help, ya spikey fuck." He mutters under his breath as Kirishima rushes up to walk next to him, "What are you doing? Just- just go back to class. Don't need no damn babysitter either dammit." Kirishima greets him with his trademark smile, Katsuki side glances at his mouth. Jesus, those fuckin' shark teeth could really fuck a bitch up.
"I'm not no damn babysitter."
"Yeah, yeah." Could this walk to Recovery Girl's office take any longer?
"So you haven't been sleeping?" Katsuki sits awkwardly in the overly cute office of Recovery Girl, she mumbles some things under her breath as she flips through his file.
"Sleep is for the weak anyway." She peers over her spectacles at him and tuts.
"Are you sure that you don't want to take a few days off and rest at home?"
"And let those assholes get ahead of me? Hell nah."
"You know that there's nothing worse for a growing boy than to not sleep." Katsuki leans back and rubs his hand against his face in irritation.
"Oh my god, is today Give Bakugo Shitty Advice Day or sumthin'? Look, if it'll really get fuckin' everyone off my damn back I'll just go up to my room like a good lil' boy and go straight to damn sleep."
"I thought you said sleep was for the weak?"
"Well, at this point, I'd rather at least be in the peace and quiet of my fucking room than to have people constantly fret over me like I'm their damn baby."
When he arrives at his room, he haphazardly peels off his clothes and crawls into his nicely made bed. The ticking of the clock fills the dark room with a reassuring background noise.
"Ugh, dammit." Katsuki glares up at his ceiling and lets out a puff of frustration. Every time he finds himself nodding off, something inside screams at him to stay awake. Something that he's never really felt before. Something he supposed was called fear. A tight constrictive feeling wraps itself around his heart and thoughts cold as ice whisper their doubt and hate in every corner of his mind.
Even getting angry costs too much energy so he just broods with his newfound edginess. Hope this doesn't mean I have to hang out with that damn bird boy and listen to some depressive My Chemical Romance or Taking Back Sunday or some shit like that.
His eyes slowly feel heavier and heavier despite the weak attempts to stay up. His air conditioner kicks on and its hum starts to lull him to sleep.
He's back in his childhood room, All Might smiles gallantly from the posters plastered all across his room. Soft moonlight filters through the blinds of his windows and he breaths a sigh of relief. Despite not wanting to admit it, he does kind of miss his home and even his parents he supposes. A childhood dream is a welcome change.
Katsuki tries to look out the window but it's too high up and he can only catch fleeting glances of the moon as it plays a game of hide and seek with the clouds. If he had been slightly taller, he would have seen a dark shadow dart across the silent street below.
The muffled drawl of the television downstairs catches his attention and he makes his way to the door, eager to see his parents again. Outside of his room, the rest of the house is purged in inky darkness. He doesn't dwell on this too much as he knows his mom is a stickler to keeping unnecessary lights off. Something about a Bill? Katsuki didn't know that his mom knew any Bills. Well, whoever this Bill was, he was a jerk.
He slowly makes his way down the stairs, each step he takes sounds like a gun shot. He always hated how creaky the stairs were. He'd never admit it, but it can be kind of creepy. A sudden outburst of voices freezes him on the spot. Whoever they were, they were arguing with his parents. Maybe it was Bill? He outta go down there and give this Bill character a piece of his damn mind. With newfound confidence he continues down the stairs and down another dark hallway towards the living room.
Katsuki still can't make out the voices but undoubtedly his mom is fucking pissed. His dad isn't saying anything but that's not much of a surprise. He peeks into the living room and pure, unadulterated fear roots him down to the ground. He feels his stomach drop to his feet and his heart jump up to his throat. In the room, his mom kneels in front of his father who is coated in blood and isn't moving. Two tall and dark shadows stand in front of her and laugh a familiar raspy chuckle.
"Tell me where he's at and I'll let you go."
"Like hell, I'd tell you. Why don't you go fuck yourself right to hell?!" The figure takes a step forward and picks her up by the collar of her shirt.
"Mom!" His mom and the two towering shadows pause and look at him. A thin smile creeps across one of the shadow's faces.
"Well, well. There he is."
"Katsuki, run."
"Let my mom go!" The figure turns back to his mom and shrugs.
"If you say so." He brings his other hand to his mom's face and presses them into her skin. She screams "run" once more before her skin starts to crack and crumble. He watches in horror as her cracked skin turns grey and before he could even react, she falls into herself. Nothing but a pile of ash.
"Now you'll be coming with us." The second figure slowly makes its way to him and he feels a warm trickle run down his legs. They lean close and reach down towards-
Katsuki bolts up with a scream. He stares down at his hands and is at least able to calm down his breathing this time. He wearily peers over at the clock and sees that it's only been an hour since he had lain down.
A soft and tentative knock makes him jump.
"What do you want?" He asks gruffly. The person at the door takes that as an invitation and slides it open gently. He only has to see the silhouette of that stupid and spikey hair to instantly know that it's none other than Kirishima.
"I'm turning on the light, okay?" He waits until Katsuki grunts out a "whatever". It takes a second for his eyes to adjust.
"Can you at least shut the fuckin' door? I don't want more of you assholes just bargin' in like you own the damn place." Kirishima smiles slightly and nods. After he shut the door he pads his way to Katsuki's desk chair and plops down.
Neither boy say anything. Katsuki glowers down at the wooden floor, wishing to be just about anywhere but his dorm as Kirishima studies him unblinkingly. Katsuki clears his throat but continues to bore holes into his floor.
"Look, I don't know why you just 'bout stalking me. Always comin' in and just staring at me with your big dumb fucking eyes every time I have a dream." Kirishima snorts.
"I'm not stupid bro; those ain't dreams. Just about the whole class knows you get nightmares." Great, just another reason for him to push himself even more. Damn snoopy fuckers probably think that he can't take it anymore and is cracking. Well, he has something else for them then. A good boot up all their asses. Now that would be a damn sweet dream right there.
"Hey! Earth to Bakugo!" A calloused hand waves in front of him, bringing him from his happy daydream.
"Man, what the fuck do you want?"
"I want to make sure my buddy is okay!"
"Well, I'm okay. So fuckin' leave. Don't let the door hit you when you leave either."
"I mean... They're sliding doors. They kinda... can't hit me." Katsuki cracks his knuckles.
"Wanna find out, fucker?" Kirishima leans back on the chair and lets out a frustrated groan.
"Oh my god, just let me help you!"
"Me throwing you through a damn door would help me a lot actually."
"Dude. Rude. No." Katsuki leans against the bed frame and lets out a hiss.
"Then leave god dammit."
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. Look! I even brought some homework with me!" Katsuki glares at him and shrugs.
"Whatever, you damn creep. I don't know what you think will happen. Besides me being creeped out that some asshole extra is in my room. Like Jesus, if you're gonna be in here, can I at least like put some damn pants on?" Kirishima coughs suddenly, nods and swivels his chair away from him. Damn red haired bastard. Why does he gotta care so much anyway? Like I gotta second mom now or some shit. He digs out a pair of sweat pants and pulls them up swiftly before heading back to his bed.
"So why are you up here bothering me?" Kirishima swirls back around with a smile already plastered on his face. Does he ever NOT smile?
"When I was younger, I'd have nightmares too-"
"Wow, con-fucking-gratulations."
"Hey, let me finish jerk." Kirishima waits to see if Katsuki will come back with a retort but he's so tired that he just doesn't care anymore. Especially if it's about some dumb childhood nightmare.
"Anyway! When I was younger I'd always have these bad nightmares and like, it was bad bro. But like, my mom started staying in the room with me when I would go to bed and her presence was like- I dunno. A light in the dark?"
"Then why didn't they just buy you a damn stupid night light?" He couldn't hold back that one, sometimes, the stupidity of people just gives him a burst of energy or whatever. It was like his second calling in life to call out every single dumb person in the world. Poor fucks gotta know how stupid they look and sound. He likes to believe that he's done well so far on his noble quest.
"They wouldn't work you asshole. They would even leave the bedroom light on and I'd still get 'em."
"That's rough buddy."
"Dude! You are impossible!"
"Says the one that refuses to leave my room." Kirishima clasps his hands together as if praying to a higher being.
"Look, all I'm saying is that maybe this will help you. I won't stay the whole night because like, I got my own bed. But, I think this will work."
"Soooo, you just wanna sit there and do your homework while I sleep? Once again, you're a fucking creep." Kirishima leans back in the chair and gets up with a shrug.
"Okay, guess you'd rather just live the rest of your life being scared so much for being number one, huh? Guess that means that Midoriya will beat you in everything since you'll be so tired. But I suppose I'll get going." Dammit. Damn fucking idiot can sure know how to play dirty.
"Fuck no. Sit your ass back down." A sharp toothy smile beams down at him.
"Awesome! Here, let me turn off the lights. Just focus on going back to bed bro."
Once again, Katsuki is engulfed in darkness and he hears Kirishima sneak back to the desk.
"Wait, how the hell you gonna do homework in the dark dumbass?"
"Well, I didn't really think this far ahead but I'll just go on my phone instead. Homework can wait." The two boys stay silent for a few moments.
"Kirishima." The other boy just about jumps in his seat- either from being startled or by Katsuki calling him by his actual name.
"Yes?"
"I swear to every god that exists and doesn't exist in this world. If you tell anyone about this, I will personally set everything and everyone you love ablaze in a wild fury."
"I won't tell, settle down. Go to sleep." And so he did fall asleep. For the first time since before he was taken, he had exactly zero nightmares.
Author's Note
Okay, to be honest... I never thought I would pick up writing again. Life is so busy these days;; Anyway, I finally got sucked into the BNHA series. My old manager at Hot Topic would be so proud of me. Or disappointed it took me this long to get into it... I'm starting to think I just have an affinity for grumpy shouty people when I write. He's a pretty complex character though and I really want to work on the other side of Bakugo besides him just being y'know... just angry shouty and running down the halls screaming "fuck" 24/7. I suppose they're all actually pretty complex. I'll definitely add more of class 1-A! Just getting warmed back up. Upload schedule might be kind of weird because I work nights but, it shouldn't be too much of a problem because my job is much more calm during the fall/winter months. Anyway, it's nice to be back! Until then, fairwinds!