Falling Out Of Love

"The years teach much which the days never knew" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He left her with a sense of fulfillment. She was the one he needed. She was the one who saved him… in a way. She had done what others couldn't. So when he left, going who-knows-where, alone on a mission, she felt proud and assured and so really needed. For the first time in her life she did something immensely important, she was in on a secret that burned under her skin, a secret she would take to her grave if needed.

This feeling lingered, for weeks, month even. It lingered to the point she mistook it for the love she once felt for Sherlock Holmes, a love which, when he was still around, was the center of her boring life.

It was a hot September morning, the year after Sherlocks 'suicide', that she understood that it wasn't love anymore. She wasn't madly in love with this man anymore, no she was proud for what she alone had done. This following autumn she learned to be a new Molly. A Molly who was self-assured and confident and braver than ever.

It didn't take long after this for her to understand how deeply she had been humiliated by Sherlock Holmes. Not by what he had asked of her to do to ensure his surviving but by all what happened before the day he came to her and asked for help. He was nice when he needed something and insulting and mean and grumpily when he didn't get his way, when he couldn't show off.

So when Sherlock Holmes stood in front of her door, more than two years later, she didn't asked him to come in, she didn't asked how he was or if he had succeeded in his plans (he had to, otherwise he would not have come back).

All she did was asking him for his next step, making sure that she got the story right in case she was asked by the wrong people. After all he was not the only one who could be harmed by a false statement.

He was confused, she could tell and she might have even seen pain in his eyes but this thought was forgotten immediately as she remembered the pain which ached deeply within her the moment she thought about this certain Christmas, when she was humiliated in front of all her friends.

When all was said and done, he left and she smiled, she smiled because she was strong. And she would stay strong. She would not fall back into that deep hole of love, she would not bind herself to the hopeless longing a second time.

Xx~~xX

Here we are. Nothing is mine.